Are you good at performing oral sex?

i mean that's unassailable ILX fact xp

First the Benson chicken and now HI DERE'S trio; all the titillation of this thread has been sucked out

tits aren't even the subject of this thread!

lol and now I am trying to think of a situation where Dan really wouldn't be able to help it

xxp Under what circumstance would you be forced to?

HAHA exactly!

"the antidote is in the vadge. you have thirty minutes"

I'm not freaked out by blood at all, but cunnilingus is the one thing that it precludes.

Yeah. Use other stimulus, please.

Wow, kenan, more like Hannibal Licker, no?

"the antidote is in the vadge. you have thirty minutes" = the plot of Hostel VII

surely Hannibal Licked 'Er

Poor Dan, a face full of pussy at its least palatable, and a Chilean Nazi in exile with a boot on the back of his head.

If she wants it and she has a tampon, fine. If not, I think not.

Tampon is a game changer, obv.

"the antidote is in the vadge. you have thirty minutes" = the plot of Hostel VII

That sounds more like a "Saw" plot than "Hostel".

"you have to eat through the head of the previous man giving cunnilingus to get to the vadge"

Something tells me I'm going to skip this film.

xp Dan: tbh I wouldn't know ... I can't watch those torture porn movies.

what a terrible, terrible thread

Tampon is a game changer, obv.

In more ways than one.

xp Thanks! We hadn't noticed!

sarahel, I've only seen "Saw I", which was basically enough because, aside from the reverse bear trap puzzle and the creepy reveal after Carey Elwes's drastic escape attempt, it was a terrible terrible TERRIBLE movie

Something tells me I'm going to skip this film.

It would have great special effects, though!

http://jakcustomguitars.com/sitebuilder/images/june_26th_2008_025-653x455.jpg

"hey whats up ladies openminded dude here just saying, see the guitar? huh? hello?"

you sir are epic

Wow - this got so much worse. Good job guys. ;-)

jjusten, you truly rock

Actually, "the antidote is in the vadge. you have thirty minutes" is best suited to a Lola Rennt-style triptych

or a pornographic version of Die Hard 3.

in which Franka Potente must transport the antidote to a dying Moritz Bleibnau without removing it from conditions whose temperature and pH ensure it is kept potent

Shuffle Lola Shuffle

LOL DAN

in the third run-through, he not only gets the antidote, but she gets an awesome tongue-job! so they win twice, you see

xxp I don't think pH would be much discussed, though temperature could be a factor.

I have heard it discussed in similar movies, is all I'm saying.

Similar movies

"Oooh, baby, you're pussy's so hot and, uh, slightly acidic."

there is a scene where she goes into a casino in order to win enough chips to combine as a makeshift vaginal stopper, thus preventing the antidote from falling out

this is basically all for max's benefit should he choose to reopen this thread; if you are reading max i <3 u

makeshift vaginal stopper
:-(

I think max is protesting too much.

no, it really is just that bad

and yet I can't tear myself away

... where did you guys go?

Makeshift vaginal stopper is a term of endearment, surely.

"C'mere, my little makeshift vaginal stopper."

xps: and with his mouth full too. disgraceful.

http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2008-04/stop-in-the-name-of-love-sign.jpg

there is a scene where she goes into a casino in order to win enough chips to combine as a makeshift vaginal stopper, thus preventing the antidote from falling out

This is silly, because there are such things as tampons.

in the quasi-sequel, The Linguist And The Warrior, he must retrieve the antidote from the vadge after she has been hit by a lorry, thus closing up her vadge, and only permitting entrance through use of a sharp knife and a drinking straw

i'm done

sorry buddy - that did it

Well done, lj. You grossed ME out.

Fucking hell.

Thanks for taking it from sticky and gross to WHOA JAPANESE FEVER NIGHTMARE