and I have no reason to doubt them
obviously they weren't mods!
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:18 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't want to brag
Whereas I totally do.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:20 (fourteen years ago) link
This is the TMI board. Brag away.
This is something I am really, really good at.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:28 (fourteen years ago) link
I have in the past thought that I could not get any better at it, but I was so wrong.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:30 (fourteen years ago) link
What's the correct voting option for 'I have been told I give good head and I am also confident that this is true'?
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:32 (fourteen years ago) link
The first one.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:34 (fourteen years ago) link
Next poll: Are you good at performing oral sex...on a train?
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:34 (fourteen years ago) link
get this motherfucking sex off my motherfucking train
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:35 (fourteen years ago) link
You have that backwards, I think
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:37 (fourteen years ago) link
Would you, could you,in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.Not in the dark. Not on a train,Not in a car, Not in a tree.I do not like it, Sam, you see.Not in a house. Not in a box.Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.I will not lick you here or there.I do not like it anywhere!
― Mornington Crescent (Ed), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:37 (fourteen years ago) link
Ok I'll give you the mouse and the fox bit. That's pretty out there.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:39 (fourteen years ago) link
As someone who was a child in the 70's, I would totally do it with a fox.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:43 (fourteen years ago) link
...a Samantha Fox!
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:45 (fourteen years ago) link
I eat the fucking fuck out of Linda Carter, if that's what you mean.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:47 (fourteen years ago) link
I would, I should say.
Sorry, lost in the moment.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:48 (fourteen years ago) link
any broad who sticks a digit in my crapper is getting it snapped off by my vise-like clenched anus
― a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:48 (fourteen years ago) link
Sexist.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:49 (fourteen years ago) link
^^^^_^^^^
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:50 (fourteen years ago) link
That might dampen her ardor a tad, no?
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:50 (fourteen years ago) link
The snapping off is metaphorical, the vice-like clenching is literal, and the soiling of the ceiling is curiously unmentioned.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:52 (fourteen years ago) link
"snapped off" could read like some sort of delicious manual euphemism
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:52 (fourteen years ago) link
It might make her bite down. (xxp)
― Hugh Manatee (WmC), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, that would NOT be optimal
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:54 (fourteen years ago) link
oh god
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:04 (fourteen years ago) link
Now I've got "everybody loves a little headman" stuck in my head and I've been trying all afternoon to get it out.
I don't think I've ever dated a man who didn't somehow believe he was AMAZING INCREDIBLE A#1 at head. And refused to accept the fact that I didn't like it. They'd be all "oh no, you'll LOVE it the way I do it" and then you have to go through the ignomy of trying to figure out... OK, wow, will they be really upset if I tell them that nope, still don't enjoy it - or should I lie and say it's great, which will save their ego, but it means I'll have to put up with that awful horrible snuffling around down there for the rest of the relationship...
Christ. This makes me so not miss sex at all.
― seni seviyorum / senden nefret ediyorum (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:05 (fourteen years ago) link
haha I believe you, Kate. Frankly, I don't go crazy for blowjobs myself, even though I've had all kinds, both ineffective and extremely effective. Whatever, I'd rather have more time and more full-body contact than just a blown load and a nap. I understand from what I hear that this puts me in somewhat of a minority.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:17 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow I am normally not at all shy when it comes to TMI stuff but let's just say I really appreciate the wise poster who logged out before posting on this particular thread.
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:18 (fourteen years ago) link
That doesn't mean I won't keep reading of course.
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:19 (fourteen years ago) link
So will I. Someone else say something. It's not my turn anymore.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:21 (fourteen years ago) link
Does that mean you appreciate them because you can identify with their position? xp
I only rarely come from oral, fact fans. Normally there has to be a whole lot of manual action augmenting it. Only truly out-of-this-world oral gets me off, but it's worth it when it happens. Otherwise it's just like wanking (or being wanked) into their mouth and while this is usually still hot'n'happening for both parties, it's not proper fellatio.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:24 (fourteen years ago) link
This is probably tmi, too, but even if a girl couldn't come from getting head, I'd probably ask her if I could give her some anyway. No cunnilingus would be a bit of a deal breaker for me.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:25 (fourteen years ago) link
Louis - ┐('~`;)┌
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:32 (fourteen years ago) link
Mwhite OTM
― Fetchboy, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:35 (fourteen years ago) link
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White)
me too.
― where we turn sweet dreams into remarkable realities (just1n3), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Louis, I think "it's just like wanking (or being wanked) into their mouth" pretty much describes what a blowjob is. What did you think it was? Was it like, "Look ma, no hands!" and bobbing up and down on your dick like a penguin or something? No, that doesn't work for anyone.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:40 (fourteen years ago) link
It has actually worked, once. I'm talking about when the hand motions (mine or theirs) are so vigorous they completely outshine the oral aspects. When it's largely the mouth bringing pleasure, a rare delight is discovered.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:44 (fourteen years ago) link
If you think there's a right and a wrong way to cum... well, what can one say? Stop thinking that.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:46 (fourteen years ago) link
It's not a right or a wrong way, just that one feels a bit more organic and natural not to mention pleasurable during the actual act rather than the fruition anyway gah I am no longer in the mood, enough
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:48 (fourteen years ago) link
You're full of shit, is the problem here
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:48 (fourteen years ago) link
Speak for yourself
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:49 (fourteen years ago) link
DUDE I said it was 'still hot'n'happening', and if it's what does it then fine but SERIOUSLY I am no longer in the mood for any of this, please pipe down
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Ah ok fair enough
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:51 (fourteen years ago) link
I am probably not very good at all at performing oral sex on men. I'd like to think I would be by default, but without field testing, that's just something I like to think.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Sorry, lj. You're not half as full of shit as I am. I feel bad now.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link
it's ok dude...you didn't know.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:01 (fourteen years ago) link
no my last post was out of line, and I take it back, and I mean that.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:03 (fourteen years ago) link
I got all uppity an' shit.
thanks man :)
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
lol "pipe down"
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
Get a room, you two. ;)
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
it's a pretty awesome album. He has really amazing kick drum technique.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:33 (fourteen years ago) link
it is his "thing"
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:35 (fourteen years ago) link
predicting huge landslide for option 1, you smug bastards
― genereal disease (jjjusten), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:36 (fourteen years ago) link
need to find speakers now to play this, btw Sarahel you have awesome taste in music
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:38 (fourteen years ago) link
see, most people, when they watch him play, seem to focus on what he's doing with his hands/arms ... (granted it's the most visible from a standard audience position). A lot of what he's doing are variations of paradiddles and double paradiddles, etc. His kick drum technique is a lot "harder" ... I've seen plenty of drummers that can't do what he does, even with a double bass pedal.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:38 (fourteen years ago) link
could only tell from utube vids because I live in ireland land of no awesome loud rock shows : (
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:47 (fourteen years ago) link
there's a hella dvd with a lot of concert footage, but the only part that shows his footwork is a brief bit at a show where he injures his ankle. My friend lent it to me. It was very long, and I wasn't paying attention when he said "skip the first hour and a half."
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:51 (fourteen years ago) link
lol, when I first got into Lightning Bolt, I read about how their shows were really insane and really short and I used to try to recreate the atmosphere of being at one of their shows by listening to Dracula Mtn at full volume in my room really loudly with the lights out and jump around a lot until I was out of breath which took around 15 mins, so I have a short but passionate attention span (aka 2hr Hella doc don't seem so intrstng all in one go imo)
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Friday, 7 August 2009 22:57 (fourteen years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Friday, 7 August 2009 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link
see, most people, when they watch him play, seem to focus on what he's doing with his hands/arms ... (granted it's the most visible from a standard audience position). A lot of what he's doing are variations of 'paradiddles' and 'double paradiddles', etc. His 'kick drum' technique is a lot "harder" ... I've seen plenty of 'drummers' that can't do what he does, even with a 'double bass pedal'.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:38 (18 minutes ago) Bookmark
one slight amendment
― cockles (country matters), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link
also now i will be more confident gloryholing at a world FAP
― cockles (country matters), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:02 (fourteen years ago) link
LJ, what the fuck was the amendment? also, wow
― ❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link
the introduction of quotation marks to make it more on-topic, also XD
― cockles (country matters), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:04 (fourteen years ago) link
xp - seriously, there are plenty of good drummers, no quotation marks needed, that can't play what he does on the kick drum. Granted, double bass is a different animal, especially because of balance issues ... unless your quotation marks are for the purpose of innuendo.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:05 (fourteen years ago) link
I like the idea of this thread encompassing topics from every other ilx subboard ...
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:06 (fourteen years ago) link
it was a slightly clumsy gag, especially coming at this thread's climax, kinda fluffed the crucial moment tbh
― cockles (country matters), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:08 (fourteen years ago) link
.... so, the gag reflex ... anyone?
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:09 (fourteen years ago) link
the teeth thing is not nearly as much of a challenge as the gag reflex.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Friday, 7 August 2009 23:10 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow, so people on this board think they're so damn excellent at oral. Wonder what the results would be if we actually got their historical partners to vote instead of them. ha ha.
Now come on, on a thread about oral sex, I don't understand why bicycles came up, but seriously - teabagging and profiterols are totally on topic.
― seni seviyorum / senden nefret ediyorum (Masonic Boom), Saturday, 8 August 2009 08:04 (fourteen years ago) link
aw man, this thread had to happen in the like only 5 days this summer i've not been here d'oh.
― don't try to church it up (nickalicious), Saturday, 8 August 2009 13:49 (fourteen years ago) link
ha, IN THE MILK AISLE!!!!!!
i don't feel like it's that hard to get a girl off fwiw; like, okay here's the clit, toss around a couple tongue/mouth variables etc and before you know it you've got ladyjuice dripping out yr beard
― don't try to church it up (nickalicious), Saturday, 8 August 2009 13:52 (fourteen years ago) link
to be fair though i was terrible at it before i went out with a girl who was sort of a bitch about it until i started getting it right
― don't try to church it up (nickalicious), Saturday, 8 August 2009 13:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Ha, these results. ILX: cocky and underconfident.
― chillbigail ate a chill banana (Abbott), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 00:50 (fourteen years ago) link
If the "instructional" video I saw the other day is any indication, not anywhere near as good as I'd thought...
― Hi, there you're being haunted! Dont you notice it? (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 00:58 (fourteen years ago) link
wow lou jag KILLED it itt.
― wishes to be referred under the pseudonym of kronos (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 01:09 (fourteen years ago) link
Wait, I thought this was about performance art...
― Et Dieu crea l' (Michael White), Sunday, 20 September 2020 14:28 (three years ago) link
"ILX: Cocky and Underconfident" needs to be a board description.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 20 September 2020 16:16 (three years ago) link
superbowl rings
― ... (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 18:32 (three years ago) link
like a basketball player
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 18:37 (three years ago) link
As a hitherto exclusively cunnilingual head-giver I feel uncomfortable answering this poll. Certainly my experiences have been good, but I feel I'd need to bite schlong before an accurate self-assessment could form. I shall have to assume my attributes are transferable.
― hello you are very gnocchi i would like taco you in the (country matters), Monday, August 3, 2009 4:11 PM (eleven years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Politically homely (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:38 (three years ago) link
yeah I already FP'd whoever wrote that
― imago, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:41 (three years ago) link
i'm pretty good. my boyfriend has a small mouth but as long as he sticks to the tip of my penis (which is massive) he's ok. great butt though.
― cosmic vision | bleak epiphany | erotic email (map), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:43 (three years ago) link
the sheer quantity of flex itp is almost admirable tbh
― imago, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:48 (three years ago) link
I was good at it in the before times when I was having sex.
aka the Obama era
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:49 (three years ago) link
oh this is the thread with the hilarious penguin post
― sarahell, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:50 (three years ago) link
prompted by:
I only rarely come from oral, fact fans. Normally there has to be a whole lot of manual action augmenting it. Only truly out-of-this-world oral gets me off, but it's worth it when it happens. Otherwise it's just like wanking (or being wanked) into their mouth and while this is usually still hot'n'happening for both parties, it's not proper fellatio.― cockles (country matters), Thursday, August 6, 2009 8:24 AM (eleven years ago)
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, August 6, 2009 8:24 AM (eleven years ago)
― sarahell, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:53 (three years ago) link
The sexiest form of oral is a good conversation imo
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:56 (three years ago) link