what's happening to our borad TMI

An hour or so into the new year I took the most massive dump I've taken in recent memory. Goodbye 2016.

new year, new poo

just another New Year on my favorite board, I Love Taking A Shit

I love tormenting my intestines?

Out with the old
In with the new

Poo: POO

general question, based off of the assumption that as people get older, they fart more frequently and flagrantly. that may not be true for you. as i observe my farting developments, i notice two trends that lead to the same end. first, the involuntary incidents are popping up more than they once did. it's still relatively rare, but the emblematic "bend down to pick up a coin off the floor" fart is rising up the power rankings, as well as others of its nature. these involuntary incidents have siblings that are also growing - the decision point farts. the decision is presented to me, and where i once resisted, i now say "yes", sometimes in unforgivable contexts. where i once flatly refused, i now, sometimes, permit. where i once permitted with regret, i now simply permit without a second thought. an occasion that once resulted in what george carlin called "test farts" now lead to full-on farts. i still care about norms and adhere to them in most situations, but less so than before. and i know that in the future, i will care even less.

just wondering which one wins out over time - the physical involuntariness of it all, or caring less and less.

i'll take my answer off the fart air fart
fart

Does the body rule the mind
Or does the mind rule plbbhhhhhhhhhhh

the unanticipated fart is definitely something that happens with age, this I confirm

coincidentally, "The Unanticipated Fart" is also the name of the new terrence malick film

oh god, just remembered

a few weeks ago I went to a new bbq place with a friend for lunch and had way too much food. delicious ribs, pulled pork, and cole slaw. having no real need for dinner, I went to a late evening concert with friends and was sipping a tall boy of cheap beer, as one does, and let loose what I thought would be an unnoticed fart -- silent, but that wouldn't have mattered, as it was loud and I was in a crowd

dear reader, it smelled as if a sulpherous cloud of death had descended in that venue. a virtual portal to some sort of vision of hell, with fire and nauseating brimstone. I don't think anyone suspected me, and I tried to move away as to deflect blame, but my god...

presbyflatulence

there is nothing worse than thinking "I can do an unobtrusively silent fart and no one will know" and having that follow up with panicked thoughts of "oh my god no, did I just shit my pants"

lately loud laughs cause me to fart.

i don't care about norms, my health and freedom tramples em

I'm grateful that this is one affliction of middle age to miss me (so far).

^^^

you've missed the involuntariness, but the other path, the choice, remains open. praying for both of you

say yes

yeah "involuntariness" hasn't hit me. i always feel the approach and relish the release

Dr Morbius, taken before his time, when he decided that a particularly fine fart merited a cigar...

the choice remains open, yes

Occasionally I'll let a quiet one go in one deserted grocery aisle and quickly move to the next one. The "high wind off of Dumpling Island," as my father in law used to say.

general question, based off of the assumption that as people get older, they fart more frequently and flagrantly. that may not be true for you. as i observe my farting developments, i notice two trends that lead to the same end. first, the involuntary incidents are popping up more than they once did. it's still relatively rare, but the emblematic "bend down to pick up a coin off the floor" fart is rising up the power rankings, as well as others of its nature. these involuntary incidents have siblings that are also growing - the decision point farts. the decision is presented to me, and where i once resisted, i now say "yes", sometimes in unforgivable contexts. where i once flatly refused, i now, sometimes, permit. where i once permitted with regret, i now simply permit without a second thought. an occasion that once resulted in what george carlin called "test farts" now lead to full-on farts. i still care about norms and adhere to them in most situations, but less so than before. and i know that in the future, i will care even less.

i've nearly had a falling out with a friend of mine over the decision fart. like in the pub one night and he just lets rip some vile fart. i mean i appreciate the body is its own master to an extent but it isn't that difficult to just go to the bathroom or whatever.

in 3 seconds it is

I hope everyone here is familiar with 1601, Mark Twain's contribution to the fart canon: http://books-to-read.com/ebooks/mark-twain/mark-twain-1601.html

In ye heat of ye talk it befel yt one did breake wind, yielding an exceding mightie and distresfull stink, whereat all did laugh full sore, and then—

Ye Queene.—Verily in mine eight and sixty yeres have I not heard the fellow to this fart. Meseemeth, by ye grete sound and clamour of it, it was male; yet ye belly it did lurk behinde shoulde now fall lean and flat against ye spine of him yt hath bene delivered of so stately and so waste a bulk, where as ye guts of them yt doe quiff-splitters bear, stand comely still and rounde. Prithee let ye author confess ye offspring. Will my Lady Alice testify?

Lady Alice.—Good your grace, an' I had room for such a thunderbust within mine ancient bowels, 'tis not in reason I coulde discharge ye same and live to thank God for yt He did choose handmaid so humble whereby to shew his power. Nay, 'tis not I yt have broughte forth this rich o'ermastering fog, this fragrant gloom, so pray you seeke ye further.

my friend likes to, in the car, let one rip, pause a second, then ask his wife and daughter 'mmm -- do you smell bread'?

my uncle, postprandial at Thanksgiving, would say "That turkey is still gobbling."

my best friend growing up's grandpa used to hand you kleenex if you farted and he'd say YEW SHIT YER PANTS!!!

my dad told me about sitting on the porch next to my great-grandfather, who, after ripping a loud fart, nonchalantly said, "eat that one and I'll crack you another!"

my uncle, postprandial at Thanksgiving, would say "That turkey is still gobbling."

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, February 22, 2017 2:24 PM (eleven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

love this

My friend's grandmother would describe a particularly potent one as a 'letter from jobby'

Had this half a cm cyst looking thing removed from my back today that looked and smelled like cheese

OMG.

Why didn't you take a video????

Noted for entry into

Magnificent moments in time
Pvmic

lol

new favourite ilxor

Benson had what I thought was a tick but what turned out to be the worlds biggest dog blackhead on his neck last month. I accidentally popped it and then had to finish the job and it was so amazingly satisfying. He was kinda pissed off at me afterwards though.

my wife loves popping my blackheads.

it is gross.

of course it's gross but that's why it's so awesome

after hanging on for more than two months, my black toe nail came loose. it looks better now.

pics?

that would set quite a dangerous precedent for this thread. I can't really tell what's going on there now, I think it's growing back but I fully support my toe whatever it wants to do

do you have absolutely no nail at all right now???

i have a buddy who had both his big toenails removed (they grew in weird and would always get infected and stuff), they never grew back. his feet are real hard to look at

this prompted me to go ask my coworker how his thumbnail is growing in after he SHUT IT IN A CAR DOOR

doing pretty well!

I have a relative who has not taken care of a screwed up fingernail and now has no nail though

xps bro do u even nail?

I think it's starting to grow back, there is something going on in the nail void. I would be curious about this if it wasn't me, so for the greater good I submit the following documentary evidence:

http://i.imgur.com/XiPoaSE.jpg

boy i picked a bad time to tuck into a bag of jelly babies

one of my toenails mysteriously fell off a few months ago. a new one was growing underneath it but it's still got a suspicious bump.

omg is it SO SENSITIVE and PAINFUL???? that looks like it wd be totally excruciating

do they make prosthetic toenails

http://www.insidetexasrunning.com/Media/News/AppealingwhileHealing1.jpg