I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

that went .. ok. i'm relieved. he talked mostly about how he's been depressed for the last few years. he sort of avoided how he felt about what i did, other than worrying a little bit about me. i could tell it hurt him though. it usually takes a few weeks for him to sort out his feelings about something like this. in the meantime, space.

we could be moving into 'good friends' or maybe 'open relationship'. he is very avoidant of all status talk though so it's confusing if i'm only wishing for the latter and it's not actually doable for him.

he's so strange. very abstracted all the time. he doesn't seem to care for the different arrangements / options that arise from the day-to-day structure of life. he only really opens up when the topic is ideas or other peoples' stories. i appreciate that about him very much because he's brilliant in that regard, but it makes it difficult to work out concrete actions, which i find myself needing in order to navigate a relationship.

anyway, glad i could vent here in the good ole coughdrop thread.

he said "if we can't be friends about stuff like this, there's no point" which i thought was pretty awesome.

New sexpression: eclair

explain...

When it gets really really dirty

dude EW

hey guys. things are pretty interesting these days!

many ports of call?

this past friday night was my boyfriend's 38th birthday. we had a big dinner snd had a whole mess of friends to the bar. afterward, we ended up meeting some gays at the eagle, including this one super cute guy who we've both had a HUGE crush in for years. anyway, we ended up at his house at the end of the night and my boyfriend & i basically devoured him alive. at one point my boyfriend and i were greedily eating out his hairy muscular armpits as he writhed in agony. ugh, it was stupidly hot. the next morning we ended up walking a couple miles back to the car and processing the experience. it's the first time both he & i had fooled around together with a 3rd -- up til now we've always fooled around separately. needless to say my guy had a really good birthday.

but besides that the last week and a half has been more action than i've seen in a while. ended up have my 2nd experience bottoming during a flip-fuck with a good friend. ended up topping the hell out of another acquaintance after running into him at the bar. plus things between my bf and i have been getting hotter & more frequent.

my boyfriend's been getting together with a good bisexual friend of his and doing some sexual surrogacy type shit, i dunno.

oh, and i bought a buttplug. which i'm wearing.

guys he's wearing a buttplug rn

make sure to clean out before you plug!

part of this has to do with the fact that my boyfriend & i don't have anal sex so after 8+ years im suddenly getting to explore that from both sides, as it were. plus the relatively recent opening of the relationship and me having the sort of confidence in my sexuality that i didn't when i was single. altogether it feels like i'm going through a 2nd puberty, hormones on full blast right now.

that's exciting, ps. i sort of miss openness, we stopped because of (reasons) but those sloppy bar makeouts were really fun/sexy. and yeah, it was...interesting having my long-delayed slut phase concurrent with being in a loving LTR

also are you wearing the buttplug like, out and about?

heh, i wore at work for a few hours this morning. it got uncomfy but only because the base wasn't sitting comfortably between the cheeks.

i think i'm about to embark on my slut phase

first bananas and now this

like it's unrelated

Spring strikes ILE gays...hard.

first bananas and now this

who do i have to top to get a banana around here

im officially a dildo owner now

Welcome to the, er, club!

thank you, i've yet to come up with a nsme for the little bugger

i mean is that what people do with dildos, name them? ive always assumed

My husband (jokingly?) calls mine "my competition."

what abt Cynthia or Andrea or Jennifer?

i was thinking the way people name boats. or racehorses. or akc show dogs.

"tradewinds"

"baby's new shoes"

"daniel's most auspicious sterling whisper"

"problematic fave"

Straight Fire Beautiful Dong

Sausalito II

"bashful"

I had one called Hebron

are anal beads even worthy of a name

Not if you have to name each one,

i don't think i've ever used a dildo in action...

beads only at a bachelor party. with a woman.

dying @ "tradewinds"

are anal beads even worthy of a name

they're like one of those families who name all their kids with the same initial

kimberly, kyle, kristin, kathleen, and little kevin

The Sandpiper

Bird of Song's Elegant Graceful Regal Grains of Paradise

rosecliff

they're like one of those families who name all their kids with the same initial

i have cousins who were named this way :/

(i like my beads btw)

Beads > dildo, imo

sorry people, i have to blab somewhere. i had sex with this sweet guy twice last week. kind of a lucky draw on scruff. today we're going to hook up and he asks if i want to do a threesome. having had a fun one last week i say yes. the third guy shows up a half hour late. i can immediately tell i'm not on his wavelength. starts playing circuit music on his phone. i basically tell him to turn it off, i don't like music while playing. i do it with sweet guy while third kind of lays there in various configurations. he tries to drag me to a different position at some point, i say "would you like me to move somewhere?" anyway, it's not bad for a bit and i cum. then while 3 is doing this gross kissing all over my back i check my watch and i'm like "omg guys i've got to run." very awkward scrambling for my clothes with strained faux-polite conversation. i know i'm being the pooper but oh well, life is too short to endure the guy you don't like in a threeway, right, just as long as you aren't actively rude?

in other news, i told my seven-year bf that i wanted to be just friends on thursday. it went pretty well as far as those things go. it helps that we're pretty much there anyway. i'm still emotional though. it took me months to make up my mind because he's an amazing person but it was just not working. and now i don't want to date anyone for years and years. but i still fucking love sex. on the other hand my emotions are raw right now so i should probably hold off for a while. the hook-up apps! i signed up a week and a half ago and have been basically trying to gulp the sudden spray from a fire hydrant after not having had water forever, but now i'm like this water is kinda gross.

and prep, i mean i know it's reductive to think this way about it but goddamn does it feel good to not use a condom and feel like you aren't expressing a death wish.

basically trying to gulp the sudden spray from a fire hydrant after not having had water forever, but now i'm like this water is kinda gross.

wow otm

:)

on this front: we're having this guy over for dinner tomorrow who's come onto B pretty strongly before and i think the expectation is that hanky-panky will ensue afterwards. my first planned-in-advance non-sex-app-initiated threesome! this guy is tall and very handsome and a dancer so he has a dancer's build and is covered with tattoos and he kind of oozes sex out of every pore (he posts lots of v sexy photos of himself on insta) and part of me is kinda like oh lord i can NOT deal

lol, ooh la la

i had a pretty good month, ie only had sex twice but both were great. Once with the Pianist, who really likes me I think but i'm not in his world and he's very popular. (I think I am going to see him perform in a new opera but not tell him.) Also with the Bad Muslim, who flies off to medical school in the Caribbean this week and will be back in December.