what's happening to our borad TMI

I was at a party a long time ago where a guy told about his recently being catheterized for the first time. He said "I wanted to marry that nurse."

As a nurse, I can vouch for the offers of deeper relationships after I have catheterized dudes.

the woman i lost my virginity to is now a catheter nurse

maybe i should look into this

IME, things up the peehole wasn't so much painful as shocking. At first I thought it hurt, but after some reflection, I decided it just really unfamiliar. Then pretty good.

it was not like this for me. it literally felt like a very sharp needle just stabbing around until it got to a point where it also hurt as much in my prostate for some reason?? that was double pain. i screamed!

and yeah peeing after was an ordeal

The point where, after much sweating and straining, gravity will do most of the rest of the work, and your job is just to relax, and let the shit take you.

for a terrifying moment, I thought this was still about putting things in your urethra

For the last 3 or 4 years, I've had a not-huge-but-not-tiny-either skintag hanging out right at the edge of my bellybutton. Just now, when scratching an itch, it came off. Totally pain free! I HAVE UNRESTRICTED BELLYBUTTON ACCESS AGAIN AND I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN!

omg no

i'm recoiling from my computer

fuck touching a belly button and fuck having a piece of it fall off

yea dude tmi wtf JF

did it leave a mark? I want to see it

so my most recent playmate (only two hookups, but likely more to come) has a hella long wikipedia page. :o

GET IT

that's not an entendre of any kind

he is, well, world-famous in a field of endeavor i know very little about (obv i will not get any more specific)

politics

<3

^^^nice

Accidental Brazillian

new best short story

Yep, you just beat Hemingway's baby shoes thing.

Butterfly

O_o

Accidental Brazillian

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Sunday, August 9, 2015 2:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

i am just imagining various sequences of events that led to such a thing being accidental

I am just wondering why you thought Brad Paisley would know what he was doing down there

haha

I'm just a guitaaar man
Comin' at you, razor in hand
Tryin' to understand the shape you want down there to be

wow

XD

Amazing.

I had more but I realized I was making up song lyrics about another poster's pubes and had to stop myself

Put it in the xls that if the situation ever arises that there's an opportunity for you to make up song lyrics about my pubes, you have full artistic license.

xpost also brazilians are done w/ wax and not razors smdh

look I just go where the muse leads me

Classic or Dud: When you have a sex dream about someone you kind of know, and (being into it) run with the imagined scenario for masturbatory purposes, only to run into that person hours later (maybe for the first time in like 8 months)?

it's only tmi if you tell em

otm

sex dreams are kind of amazing btw

I've never had a good sex dream until the last year or two. Like, in my entire life. Every time sex popped up in a dream, it would be something like: a woman and me agreeing to have sex, and then walking somewhere to go have sex, and then walking and walking and walking, and then I'd start flying up into the sky like a balloon, and then I'd wake up.

Or we'd agree to meet up later and have sex and then I'd go back into the party and never actually end up meeting her.

Or I'd start frenching her or something and then I'd pull back for a second and realize she had a huge Italian mustache. Those are just a few actual examples. The mustache one was back in high school with my upcoming homecoming date and that kinda ruined everything.

Anyway, recently I've actually started having sex dreams where everything works out alright! I'm worried that it means I'm dying or something.

you are

Classic or Dud: When you have a sex dream about someone you kind of know, and (being into it) run with the imagined scenario for masturbatory purposes, only to run into that person hours later (maybe for the first time in like 8 months)?

― EDB, Wednesday, September 2, 2015 10:02 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"wow, you look as good as you did earlier...when I was....say you know what I have a train to catch, tut tut for now"

That's very close to another exchange I had awhile back re: what became a sex dream.
"I had a weird dream you were in, actually"
"What was weird about it?"
...
"you know, I can't say..."

Actually, I said something like "oh, I responded to your message, and other stuff." She seemed unimpressed at how un-weird it was.

I realized I was attracted to a co-worker after I had a sex dream about him a few years ago, that was kind of weird

Dreaming about sleeping with someone that you really shouldn't have

that second you wake up and realize you had a sex dream about a relative or someone you think of as a relative and want to vom

only children ftw

I had a sex dream about Shaquille O'Neal.

It was awkward

I believe I had kung pao shrimp for the first time last night

In future I will plan on needing an extra 30 minutes to leave the house the next morning

9-yo niece (worst behaved child i've ever been around) still awake at midnight, crying bcz Santa will gyp her

my room is next to hers

raising her has turned my sister into a ranting psycho

bro-in-law got up mid-lunch at restaurant today and said "I may or may not come back."

Christmas is poison; i will be out of the country next year to avoid this shitshow

merry christmas, morbs!