Gah! I hate it when I rip off half a toenail or something. Can't imagine losing a whole one. Which toe?
I dropped a recycling bin on my foot last May and a month or so later the bruise started working it's way up my big toenail. It took almost a year to slowly climb off. Finally just clipped the last purplish bit off in March.
― how's life, Thursday, 1 May 2014 10:27 (ten years ago) link
its
Left foot, the one next to the big toe. I think what happened was I hit it specifically too many times just to frequently (the rest of the toes are ok). I have big feet (size 16) and am far too used to bumping them into things. Yesterday I had my socks off and noticed the nail in question had a stress mark about half way down. Of course I put my socks on and I didn't do anything. Later I get my socks off again and the nail looks completely dead. I decided to do an emergency trim job, but as I begin the cut, I notice the whole nail is loose, so the cut becomes an extraction. The pain was over quickly, and I must confess that it's more disgusting in memory than in execution, which was mostly pure shock. I also fortunately have access to loads of first aid stuff in the house, so I quickly sterilized the wound and now I've got a nifty little elasticized gauze toe sock for the digit.
― Damnit Janet Weiss & The Riot Grrriel (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 1 May 2014 19:31 (ten years ago) link
extraction! sounds intense.
― how's life, Thursday, 1 May 2014 19:45 (ten years ago) link
re medication, picking constipation over liquid-shit cure in future
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 1 May 2014 19:48 (ten years ago) link
ugh sorry dude
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 2 May 2014 04:59 (ten years ago) link
aww Morbs I'm sorry; hopefully it is one of those side affects that goes away over time? Meanwhile: fluids!
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 2 May 2014 11:29 (ten years ago) link
haha effects not affects
i just went to take a piss at work and somebody's pube was on the rim of the toilet. i was able to guide the pube into the toilet by carefully aiming my piss stream.
― marcos, Friday, 2 May 2014 16:27 (ten years ago) link
I just went to take a piss at work and somebody's piss was all over the rim of the toilet.
― popchips: the next snapple? (seandalai), Friday, 2 May 2014 17:14 (ten years ago) link
yah morbs stay hydrated out there
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 2 May 2014 18:42 (ten years ago) link
I just went to the restroom at work an there was piss all over the room. I was able to guide it into the toilet by soaking it up with my poop and then pushing the poop/piss into the water with a follow-up standup piss
― Karl Malone, Friday, 2 May 2014 19:28 (ten years ago) link
lol hydration is not the problem... the drugs also put dried blood in my nose, so there's that
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 May 2014 19:29 (ten years ago) link
nice work karl!
― marcos, Friday, 2 May 2014 19:30 (ten years ago) link
If you eat a lot of fibrous vegetables, you can have quilted poop for superior absorption.
― the glimmer man (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 2 May 2014 20:56 (ten years ago) link
But good job nonetheless
it took me abt 8 days to get regular after an insane bout of jetlag last week, appears all is well now
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Friday, 2 May 2014 23:55 (ten years ago) link
during my bout with bronchitis I was once again visited by the ghost of hemorrhoids past because of the antibiotics. like, my mission in healthy life is to keep those fuckers away at all costs but then you have to take these whatever drugs and all your work just goes right out the door and uuuugh all the weird gadgets and creepy ointments in the old people aisle at the drugstore? not a mystery to me anymoreI was legit shopping for butt pillows at one pointreal talk: fiber is my best friend for life also do not overlook the wonders of a simple sitz bath
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 3 May 2014 00:35 (ten years ago) link
It was only v recently that I learned that hemorrhoids are, like, what, sores INSIDE your butthole?!?!!??
― funny and lolexander (Stevie D(eux)), Saturday, 3 May 2014 02:45 (ten years ago) link
How do you get fucked in the ass??!!
I usually just get tired and have a sinus infection post-air travel
Ain't had the 'rhoids since a surgery some years back.
Stevie I think u need to talk to ppl because those are way common
― a strange man (mh), Saturday, 3 May 2014 02:51 (ten years ago) link
xp my favorite use of the royal you in awhile
― Cronk's Not Cronk (Eric H.), Saturday, 3 May 2014 02:52 (ten years ago) link
anything going in or coming out of your ass is literally a pain in the ass as far as h'roids go
and to cure them way more things have to go in than you would ever want or think possible
they SUCK
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 3 May 2014 03:17 (ten years ago) link
posts out of context thread just exploded
― mookieproof, Saturday, 3 May 2014 04:05 (ten years ago) link
lol
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 3 May 2014 05:12 (ten years ago) link
now i'm curious what other mundane facts of life have passed stevie by!
for adding time to your day, nothing beats the chemo effects of not sleeping and not shitting.
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 20:57 (ten years ago) link
:(
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 21:05 (ten years ago) link
it could be worse! it has been.
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 21:06 (ten years ago) link
Boy, that was the complete opposite for me.
(sometimes concurrently)
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 21:07 (ten years ago) link
I just thought hemmorhoids were like idk around your butthole, maybe within a cm or two, but lort god jesus not INSIDE
― funny and lolexander (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 21:25 (ten years ago) link
but lort god jesus not INSIDE
i am lesion
― james lipton and his francs (darraghmac), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 21:25 (ten years ago) link
the fun part stevie is that they're kinda both :(
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 22:06 (ten years ago) link
AHHH WHY DID I GO TO THAT WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE
― a strange man (mh), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 22:07 (ten years ago) link
bad idea
bad bad bad
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 22:09 (ten years ago) link
the wonderful world of middle age has many treats for u
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 22:12 (ten years ago) link
middle age is lousy. i don't recommend it. stay young, instead.
― Daniel, Esq 2, Tuesday, 6 May 2014 22:14 (ten years ago) link
otm
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 22:16 (ten years ago) link
Chilli on my dick
― james lipton and his francs (darraghmac), Saturday, 10 May 2014 15:58 (ten years ago) link
probably keep away from the dogs then
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 May 2014 16:00 (ten years ago) link
chilli could be the pepper, or like full blown meat and famous baked beans recipe chilli
― the glimmer man (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 10 May 2014 16:51 (ten years ago) link
or anthony kiedis
its his aeroplane
― getting strange ass all around the globe (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 May 2014 16:55 (ten years ago) link
bi the way
― an office job is as secure as a Weetabix padlock (snoball), Saturday, 10 May 2014 17:11 (ten years ago) link
It wasn't wholly unpleasant tbph
― james lipton and his francs (darraghmac), Saturday, 10 May 2014 17:55 (ten years ago) link
Which one?
― the glimmer man (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 10 May 2014 22:57 (ten years ago) link
Anybody ever bought man spanx? I am, at present, too fat for my liking.
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 13 May 2014 22:29 (ten years ago) link
I've worn lady spanx and I love them. A bit annoying to pee in sometimes (one pair has a slit, the other is basically bike shorts that must be slid off) but other than that, A+
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Tuesday, 13 May 2014 23:32 (ten years ago) link
Number of continents I have pooped in just increased to three.
― joygoat, Friday, 16 May 2014 08:17 (ten years ago) link
Doesn't sound like you're incontinent to me.
― pplains, Friday, 16 May 2014 14:01 (ten years ago) link
Just stuck my finger in my ear and now the finger smells like barbecue sauce.
― how's life, Monday, 19 May 2014 15:04 (ten years ago) link