what's happening to our borad TMI

I read that as licking.

still can't do that.

licking yourself in the balls

as if it could ever happen 'by accident' sure tell it to the judge bucko

i made it through 30 years without getting full blown, coming out both ends food poisoning and paid in full last night.

Mozeltov howd u find it?

Took me a second to reconcile "30 years without getting blown" and "food poisoning".

Oh no! I hope you're feeling better. Also, where from? If it's somewhere local I wanna know so I can avoid appropriately.

well i'm able to keep down fluids now but i got so dried out last night that my whole body aches and my legs cramp up pretty much whenever i move them. i need gatorade, or an iv.

i don't have the slightest idea where i got this from--i did go out for lunch yesterday but symptoms didn't start until midnight or so. L and i had the same (vegetarian) dinner and she's fine.

did you ask for extra fecal matter in your food platter

lunch to midnight sounds about right for food poisoning, IME

I took too many anti-inflammatories and wound up puking through the night and now my back hurts.

on antibiotics for bronchitis, the side effects reads: "diarrhea may occur weeks to months after taking this drug"

fuck. you.

weird!!!

Pretty sure im smelling my neighbour's morning dump

move

He's taking out a re-straining order...

i need pants with wider legs — the jeans i've been wearing have been slowing eroding away the hair on my thighs so i have patches of weird plucked-chicken skin :|

lol I have a visible sock line in the same style

Cool new thing body is doing: a period every three weeks. Aghhhhh

ugh dude that sucks

It's so stupid. Go away uterus, nobody likes you

otm

very otm

Just had to pull out a full toenail.

Gah! I hate it when I rip off half a toenail or something. Can't imagine losing a whole one. Which toe?

I dropped a recycling bin on my foot last May and a month or so later the bruise started working it's way up my big toenail. It took almost a year to slowly climb off. Finally just clipped the last purplish bit off in March.

its

Left foot, the one next to the big toe. I think what happened was I hit it specifically too many times just to frequently (the rest of the toes are ok). I have big feet (size 16) and am far too used to bumping them into things. Yesterday I had my socks off and noticed the nail in question had a stress mark about half way down. Of course I put my socks on and I didn't do anything. Later I get my socks off again and the nail looks completely dead. I decided to do an emergency trim job, but as I begin the cut, I notice the whole nail is loose, so the cut becomes an extraction. The pain was over quickly, and I must confess that it's more disgusting in memory than in execution, which was mostly pure shock. I also fortunately have access to loads of first aid stuff in the house, so I quickly sterilized the wound and now I've got a nifty little elasticized gauze toe sock for the digit.

extraction! sounds intense.

re medication, picking constipation over liquid-shit cure in future

ugh sorry dude

aww Morbs I'm sorry; hopefully it is one of those side affects that goes away over time? Meanwhile: fluids!

haha effects not affects

i just went to take a piss at work and somebody's pube was on the rim of the toilet. i was able to guide the pube into the toilet by carefully aiming my piss stream.

I just went to take a piss at work and somebody's piss was all over the rim of the toilet.

yah morbs stay hydrated out there

I just went to the restroom at work an there was piss all over the room. I was able to guide it into the toilet by soaking it up with my poop and then pushing the poop/piss into the water with a follow-up standup piss

lol hydration is not the problem... the drugs also put dried blood in my nose, so there's that

nice work karl!

If you eat a lot of fibrous vegetables, you can have quilted poop for superior absorption.

But good job nonetheless

it took me abt 8 days to get regular after an insane bout of jetlag last week, appears all is well now

during my bout with bronchitis I was once again visited by the ghost of hemorrhoids past because of the antibiotics. like, my mission in healthy life is to keep those fuckers away at all costs but then you have to take these whatever drugs and all your work just goes right out the door and uuuugh
all the weird gadgets and creepy ointments in the old people aisle at the drugstore? not a mystery to me anymore
I was legit shopping for butt pillows at one point
real talk: fiber is my best friend for life
also do not overlook the wonders of a simple sitz bath

It was only v recently that I learned that hemorrhoids are, like, what, sores INSIDE your butthole?!?!!??

How do you get fucked in the ass??!!

I usually just get tired and have a sinus infection post-air travel

Ain't had the 'rhoids since a surgery some years back.

Stevie I think u need to talk to ppl because those are way common

xp my favorite use of the royal you in awhile

anything going in or coming out of your ass is literally a pain in the ass as far as h'roids go

and to cure them way more things have to go in than you would ever want or think possible

they SUCK

posts out of context thread just exploded

lol