what's happening to our borad TMI

Maybe you're evolving into a katydid.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stridulation

I ate sooooooo much Ethiopian today (meat combo platter) and my poop was so strange and stinky

being sick "at both ends" for the first 6 days of the year = fucking awesome

I have made an exciting discovery about the kind of scaly patch of follicles I have on the back of my inner thigh (possibly keratosis pilaris since you didn't ask), which is that if I sit cross-legged the hollow forms a resonant chamber and scratching my bare leg-scales results in a noise not unlike those wooden frogs whose backs make a ribbiting noise

this could be the start of a beautiful new career

― not a player-hater i just hate a lot (a passing spacecadet), Sunday, January 5, 2014 11:28 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Love this. Love you, aps!

I did a lot of dishes over the weekend and appear to have lizard skin on one hand now

oh btw no puking here, just congestion to go with the gastric distress, so not classic SaBE.

i'm stressed to the max, i've got hella PMS, and i'm freezing

What you need is a manicure. But that's what I always say.

Some hot towel wraps, a hand massage, and some glitter.

ehhhh i'd settle for a bath and some loud music

but if someone wanted to give me a glittery manicure while i'm in the bath and talk to me over the loud music i guess that would be ideal

here's a question for the middle-aged men:

when a doctor gives you a prostate exam, is it supposed to feel like he is attempting to use your prostate to frantically buzz in on a game show?

Why don't people hang out in bathrooms more? No scratch that, why are bath tubs in the bathroom and not in someplace you don't put the toilet? Like say the bedroom. Or the library.

http://i.imgur.com/Xb9DMl5.jpg

yeeeeeeeeeeees
man i am dying
get me out of here

Yes, Dan, of course. Were you not privvy to that info, man?!

xxp Perfect. An ashtray, a place to put a wineglass, and either conversation or a book in reach--otherwise I'm going to be very bored in about 10 minutes. Relaxing is not my strong suit.

in orbit, my gf and I used to live in a flat with a separate bathroom and wc. Ideally, you'd have a bathroom and a WC with a sink and a bidet like a truly civilized person but there's little less disobliging than having to malodorously void your bowels while somebody is getting all clean in the shower/bath - kinds harshes their buzz, n'est-ce pas?

Yes, Dan, of course. Were you not privvy to that info, man?!

I was not, it was very surprising.

http://www.fengshuidana.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/062408_bathtubinbed.jpg

at one point the phrase NO WHAMMIES popped into my head and I had to stifle a full-on guffaw

good plan, I think laughing makes you clench

LL, do u get to go home soon? I hope yes.

is it supposed to feel like he is attempting to use your prostate to frantically buzz in on a game show?

In my (one) experience, yes. My PCP said, "This doesn't work, but we do it anyway to torture people."

Five weeks w/o sex and I'm going nuts. I know that it gets easier - pre-last relationship drought was 2 years - but goddamn it's tough to start out.

I've never understood this.

there is a thread for that sort of whining, this is the other thread

I hope pp was talking about getting joybuzzered tho

Last night I had an extended dream where I was having a 3-way w/ a man and a woman and the guy kept giving me pointers and encouragement w/r/t cunnilingus. It was an extremely detailed dream. The woman got bored and wound up having a penis, so I just switched to that.

I'm home doing my colonoscopy prep, and it's everything you've heard.

go lightly my friend

Haven't heard anything, but maybe your neighbors have.

think I will just hole up in the john for the next 5 hours

hole down! hole down!

These dosage instructions were clearly excessive, as I've only been shitting Gatorade for the last hour.

the experience of massive evacuation without a horrible stomachache or other intestinal distress seems so weird

have lovely pics of my colon, no polyps. will scan and sell asap.

now i have to train my innards to process food normally again.

hurrah no polyps!

rahnopolpys now

man if I had a dollar for every bowel prep I've ordered in the last week I'd have...three dollars

seems like a good time for this anecdote

one of my friends was a grad student in computer science and they were working on a joint project with the mayo clinic. he was programming an analysis for colonoscopy videos -- basically it'd highlight regions that looked problematic, assisting the doctor in review

he was working on error handling for a couple weeks, mostly situations where the camera fell out. so, yeah, he had to watch the video to debug the code and basically watched the camera falling out of and being reinserted into rectums for a week

wow, that really makes my intensive kanye listening into perspective

would excelsior but too blatant a grab for glory imo

Those prep meds can have wildly different results? I know someone who was told it wouldn't take effect for several hours and ended up being at, like, the symphony or something. Horrible prospect.

wait what someone told your friend to do a bowel prep and was all "yeah cool go to the symphony nbd"??

UH

I'm sure the docs would have said, for the love of god stay home, but the patient was told there was an hours-longer window that there ended up being, I guess?

*than there

lol it's more like "it might not kick in immediately, give it a little time"

Going to the symphony.... oh man

cleanse diet?
http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/walgreens-magnesium-citrate-saline-laxative-oral-solution-lemon/ID=prod5601649-product

check it out, for under $3 you can remove everything in your digestive tract, no prescription needed! what a world.

Why on Earth would you make any plans to go anywhere if you were doing a bowel cleanse? Unless you really just want to share your bowel contents with others, in which case Godspeed to you and yuk