what's happening to our borad TMI

I'm pooping.

holy shit I have cancer or must have perforated my colon some how - oh wait i had beets for two days in a row

ahhhhh i too have felt the terror of forgotten beets

Colored shits are always terrifying for a second or two

Read that as "colored shirts", was wondering

Actually a solid white shit would scare the, um, something out of me.

my turds are surprisingly buoyant these days fwiw, it's like 3 flushes minimum. annoying! get it together, poops!

xp: had something like that happen once after a huge sushi binge.

gah, i can't believe i just posted that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk

Pretty much the conversation I had with my wife in 2007.

PP: Well, I guess it's either cancer or I ate too many beets.

SS: You hate beets!

PP: Goddammit.

lol

I love beets so I guess I'll never get colorectal cancer. Yay, me!

I don't eat beets, but I ate way too many Twizzlers once.

I thought I'd already posted this, but I searched the thread and apparently not.

One night I got up to pee and I saw that my fingers were red and a sticky, like they were coated w/ half-dried blood. I assumed my penis was bleeding, so I panicked and thoroughly examined it. To my relief, it only had a little of the substance on it from where I'd touched it while peeing. After checking the rest of my body and finding no blood, I remembered that I'd gone to bed drunk after eating these chips and not washing my hands.

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5512/9599573574_b85b157c0c_n.jpg

If those chips were doing their job, then when you examined your penis it should've started hurting on contact, thus intensifying your panic.

Reminds me of the guy who visits the doctor because his dick is turning orange.

Doctor asks, What are your hobbies? And he replies Eating Cheetos and watching porn.

je55e irl

whenever i see red in the bowl like that i just say to myself damn, my ass just laid down some funky beets

you see red in the bowl?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dh79Ggx9Js

I thought I'd already posted this, but I searched the thread and apparently not.

One night I got up to pee and I saw that my fingers were red and a sticky, like they were coated w/ half-dried blood. I assumed my penis was bleeding, so I panicked and thoroughly examined it. To my relief, it only had a little of the substance on it from where I'd touched it while peeing. After checking the rest of my body and finding no blood, I remembered that I'd gone to bed drunk after eating these chips and not washing my hands.

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5512/9599573574_b85b157c0c_n.jpg

― potatoes-in-law (Je55e), Monday, August 26, 2013 8:20 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ctrl+F my barbeque sauce story

^this post is the only ctrl-f result for "barb" in this thread. Fortunately.

i haven't had hemorrhoids in like 10 years and now it is like buttpocalypse and i am a sad panda

butt pillows are so depressing.

^^^^raiders season preview

lol way to kick a girl while she's down

was gonna suggest that sting release a benefit single called 'sending our love to your butt' but i won't now, sorry

no that wd cheer me up

make the call mookie

should be an ilx thing tbh

special guest appearance by preparation haitch

looool

I haven't had any of those since I had ass surgery for something unrelated. Maybe everyone just needs a good asshole remodeling.

i could live without the whole lower half of myself atm

sorry you're having that kind of day :(

thx

I'm sorry. I have only had hemorrhoids once and it was an absolutely miserable time for me.

mookie yr killin me

Dmac just called you a hemorrhoid, mookie. Kick his ass.

sitting in dr's waiting room, dreading this enounter

i wish palm readings could substitute for hemorrhoid inspections

fml x 1000

these huge, impossibly sticky fucking wads of post-nasal drip that totally get stuck way back up in my throat and I'm practically choking on them. I have to try and work them loosen them up and ease them out via like, weird breathing exercises, and when I finally do manage to hork them up, it's like a damn kombucha scoby.

neti pot?

where to buy weed

My gauge for telling that I'm eating pretty well is that the flatulence is of consistent, liberating quality.

kind of reveling in my B.O. atm?

better than reveling in your b.m.

lord almighty

heyooo

i revel in my b.o. every third day.

i like my bo tbh

I like my BO today, due a shower, but I've been relaxed and happy. When I'm stressed out, I smell dreadful. I guess it's a 'don't eat me!' stink.

Probably the biggest downside of anosmia for me has been not being able to smell my own BO. Mostly for practical reasons, but sometimes it would be nice to get reacquainted w/ my scent.