what's happening to our borad TMI

destroys teeth and fetuses

lol malta goys

There is infamous story on my knitting message board about a poster's sister who used a perfume cap as a contraception.

A perfume cap she had in her vagina FOR TEN YEARS.

o_o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YJmUZXGxD0

ENBB how was that lunch?

Never happened cause I think she's getting fired ;_; and shit sort hit the fan last week with the snow and stuff. I'll be sad to see her go if she does leave and not just because of the good sex stories.

Oh shit. I forgot about y'alls snow. Sad to hear about anyone getting fired.

I miss desire.

There is infamous story on my knitting message board about a poster's sister who used a perfume cap as a contraception.

A perfume cap she had in her vagina FOR TEN YEARS.

I am on OB right now and very desperately want to share this story

I mean if it worked for 10 years...can't be all bad.

That's what they said about nazi germany

could be she was just nearly infertile and highly resistant to infection

or the later is false and was the cause of the former

Is the knitting board ravelry.com?

Going into the hospital for stem-cell transplant in ten days... not sure whether I should root for 1) loss of libido or 2) enough pvt space to jack off.

How long are you in for? Where's the transplant?

I always root for plenty of drugs, but priorities may vary.

Good luck Morbs. Both with your transplant and with your raging hormones.

it's... in my blood! they are going to give me plenty of drugs FIRST.

morbs, all my best wishes. my uncle i posted about last week has made a great recovery btw, and as you probably know his luck was pretty bad - it's a relatively safe undertaking, all things considered

hope everything goes well, Morbs.

so much pus...

I get a bunch of earwax buildup in my ears, then it starts to dry up and a dried piece of earwax falls from the top of my ear to the bottom.

Sooooo satisfying.

The "I have been drinking but I am trying not to check to see if you're dating people, bet you are" sad dance. Especially when you're thinking about situations.

Double bump if you want to call but you agreed it can't be a thing because of reasons

Ugh Ive done that one a LOT lately, with the guy Im all hung up on dating a semi-sleb who tweeted incessantly about it. Could. Not. Stop. Looking.

Glad it stopped, cos that shit NAGL for me, I know.

Hah, I'd been drinking last night and mopey but didn't check on a damned thing. I feel like such an adult.

Once you find the wedding notice the fascination stops dead tbh

yeah right

just "filled the hat" in my hospital room toilet

reminded me of Dreyfuss' Devils Tower replica in Close Encounters.

glad yr uncle is well, kevin!

this guy really fills a hat, if you catch my meaning

dear pristine white hotel sheets and bedspread: sorry I sat on you and unexpectedly covered you in blood. I know the cleaners must hate me now :(

i don't want to start a tipping fiasco, but maybe a little something would be otm

bit late now I checked out 10 hours ago.

you and yr red popemobile

'I checked out 10 hours ago' is a euphemism y/n

y

Great thread, mookie with the slam

I once fell asleep in a hotel bed, drunk, while eating a Snickers. The stains told an untrue story and I still had several more nights to stay. The shame will outlive me.

You should have left a note that said, "Snickers not shit, I swear.".

"just smell it honest"

I kind of wonder if there's an unwritten etiquette code of what to do with items that are blood/shit/snickers smeared

In a hotel, that is

Wash them?

I think all linens get washed equally harshly tbh. I don't know how commercial laundries do it or what cleaning products they use but they do get things clean.

note on bedstand "Please wash sheets ASAP (I'm sorry)"

or possibly a note with an arrow pointing at the bed that says SUCIO

p sure the etiquette is to scrawl SORRY on the wall, using the same substance with which you have soiled the sheets

That or REDRUM

I think all linens get washed equally harshly tbh. I don't know how commercial laundries do it or what cleaning products they use but they do get things clean.

― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Thursday, March 7, 2013 10:50 AM (1 hour ago)

Using a black light, employees of the television show "ABC News Primetime" investigated 20 hotels in the United States for cleanliness. Results showed traces of semen or urine in every room they checked, even in expensive five-star hotels.