what's happening to our borad TMI

dude

lmao that's awesome

hahaha

omg

TBH I could start a whole thread just based on shit she's told me about her sex life.

if this thread isn't started by close of business today I will be cross w/you

The first time her ex saw her vagina (she's black he was not) he told her it looked like a purple canoe.

She thought the average male penis was "What? Something like 8? 9? inches?".

sure, give or take

I'll.. take? :D

See, that's why I married a woman who only knew the metric system.

"McBroom's Wonderful One-Acre Cock"

I am sorry for starting this interruption and I wish for ENBB to please continue

Wait so he's black now?

lol

nah, he's probably still white

Sadly, we don't hang out as much since I've (mostly) stopped smoking so it's been a while since we've had one of these heart to hearts where she just tells me shit I never knew I needed to know. However, we've just made plans to get lunch this week so we'll see.

We once had a security guard who told me, out of the blue as I walked into the building one day after lunch, that her 14-year-old daughter had been internally applying coca-cola "down there" as a contraceptive. I never breathed a word of that to anyone, but she wasn't with us for much longer.

the daughter?

brb snoping 'coke vagina death'

The coke as spermicide/contraceptive thing is/was a common enough myth that actual studies have been done on it. Malta Goys (specifically hot iirc) is another one that has similar myths attached to it in some communities.

http://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a2873

destroys teeth and fetuses

lol malta goys

There is infamous story on my knitting message board about a poster's sister who used a perfume cap as a contraception.

A perfume cap she had in her vagina FOR TEN YEARS.

o_o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YJmUZXGxD0

ENBB how was that lunch?

Never happened cause I think she's getting fired ;_; and shit sort hit the fan last week with the snow and stuff. I'll be sad to see her go if she does leave and not just because of the good sex stories.

Oh shit. I forgot about y'alls snow. Sad to hear about anyone getting fired.

I miss desire.

There is infamous story on my knitting message board about a poster's sister who used a perfume cap as a contraception.

A perfume cap she had in her vagina FOR TEN YEARS.

I am on OB right now and very desperately want to share this story

I mean if it worked for 10 years...can't be all bad.

That's what they said about nazi germany

could be she was just nearly infertile and highly resistant to infection

or the later is false and was the cause of the former

Is the knitting board ravelry.com?

Going into the hospital for stem-cell transplant in ten days... not sure whether I should root for 1) loss of libido or 2) enough pvt space to jack off.

How long are you in for? Where's the transplant?

I always root for plenty of drugs, but priorities may vary.

Good luck Morbs. Both with your transplant and with your raging hormones.

it's... in my blood! they are going to give me plenty of drugs FIRST.

morbs, all my best wishes. my uncle i posted about last week has made a great recovery btw, and as you probably know his luck was pretty bad - it's a relatively safe undertaking, all things considered

hope everything goes well, Morbs.

so much pus...

I get a bunch of earwax buildup in my ears, then it starts to dry up and a dried piece of earwax falls from the top of my ear to the bottom.

Sooooo satisfying.

The "I have been drinking but I am trying not to check to see if you're dating people, bet you are" sad dance. Especially when you're thinking about situations.

Double bump if you want to call but you agreed it can't be a thing because of reasons

Ugh Ive done that one a LOT lately, with the guy Im all hung up on dating a semi-sleb who tweeted incessantly about it. Could. Not. Stop. Looking.

Glad it stopped, cos that shit NAGL for me, I know.

Hah, I'd been drinking last night and mopey but didn't check on a damned thing. I feel like such an adult.

Once you find the wedding notice the fascination stops dead tbh

yeah right

just "filled the hat" in my hospital room toilet

reminded me of Dreyfuss' Devils Tower replica in Close Encounters.