what's happening to our borad TMI

so... my gf showed up with one of those remote control bullets that fit into panties before we went out to dinner the other night
it's kind of terrible but also really, really fun

she started on Lexapro and there's maybe some issues with anorgasmia so I guess she wanted to try something together other than the We-Vibe (which is cool but requires waaaaaaay too much lube IMO to be comfortable for both parties)
I promised her a Magic Wand for her birthday

Do you remember last week in the shower?

so... my gf showed up with one of those remote control bullets that fit into panties before we went out to dinner the other night
it's kind of terrible but also really, really fun

I have one of those. We saw the second last Batman movie in the theatre the first night which, well, made the movie more interesting for me. But the batteries are dead & it's not something I remember to buy batteries for, so it's laid dormant for a while.

so it goes.

I have a boil on my ass.

That is all.

Oh god, I hate those!

Falling toilet seat scored a solid hit today

i had an erotic dream in which i was dressed as batman. i have the simultaneous desires to tell everybody and to ensure that no one ever knows.

oops.

hahahaha

A couple months ago my co-worker told me that she likes her husband to do her from behind while he's wearing a hockey mask like Jason and the're both looking in a mirror.

I would... have difficulty containing my reaction to that one

dude

lmao that's awesome

hahaha

omg

TBH I could start a whole thread just based on shit she's told me about her sex life.

if this thread isn't started by close of business today I will be cross w/you

The first time her ex saw her vagina (she's black he was not) he told her it looked like a purple canoe.

She thought the average male penis was "What? Something like 8? 9? inches?".

sure, give or take

I'll.. take? :D

See, that's why I married a woman who only knew the metric system.

"McBroom's Wonderful One-Acre Cock"

I am sorry for starting this interruption and I wish for ENBB to please continue

Wait so he's black now?

lol

nah, he's probably still white

Sadly, we don't hang out as much since I've (mostly) stopped smoking so it's been a while since we've had one of these heart to hearts where she just tells me shit I never knew I needed to know. However, we've just made plans to get lunch this week so we'll see.

We once had a security guard who told me, out of the blue as I walked into the building one day after lunch, that her 14-year-old daughter had been internally applying coca-cola "down there" as a contraceptive. I never breathed a word of that to anyone, but she wasn't with us for much longer.

the daughter?

brb snoping 'coke vagina death'

The coke as spermicide/contraceptive thing is/was a common enough myth that actual studies have been done on it. Malta Goys (specifically hot iirc) is another one that has similar myths attached to it in some communities.

http://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a2873

destroys teeth and fetuses

lol malta goys

There is infamous story on my knitting message board about a poster's sister who used a perfume cap as a contraception.

A perfume cap she had in her vagina FOR TEN YEARS.

o_o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YJmUZXGxD0

ENBB how was that lunch?

Never happened cause I think she's getting fired ;_; and shit sort hit the fan last week with the snow and stuff. I'll be sad to see her go if she does leave and not just because of the good sex stories.

Oh shit. I forgot about y'alls snow. Sad to hear about anyone getting fired.

I miss desire.

There is infamous story on my knitting message board about a poster's sister who used a perfume cap as a contraception.

A perfume cap she had in her vagina FOR TEN YEARS.

I am on OB right now and very desperately want to share this story

I mean if it worked for 10 years...can't be all bad.

That's what they said about nazi germany

could be she was just nearly infertile and highly resistant to infection

or the later is false and was the cause of the former

Is the knitting board ravelry.com?

Going into the hospital for stem-cell transplant in ten days... not sure whether I should root for 1) loss of libido or 2) enough pvt space to jack off.

How long are you in for? Where's the transplant?

I always root for plenty of drugs, but priorities may vary.

Good luck Morbs. Both with your transplant and with your raging hormones.