what's happening to our borad TMI

I hope you're feeling better now.

I call a pound of tater tots with queso "a good start"

"...toward morbid obesity."

morbidity is the goal, queso is the field

I hope I never get accustomed to eating that much food at once. I hope it always makes me sick. It that ever becomes a comfortable amount of food for me, I will have developed a true problem.

And, yes, I am feeling perfectly fine now. Thank you, Christine.

Grease shits are terrifying.

^^^new board description

- would no longer describe the terms me & the ex-bf are on as "friendly" - entirely my doing
- trying to decide if i regret that or not
- not flatulent, but was for a few days
- flatulence and ex-bf sitch are unrelated iirc

- flatulence and ex-bf sitch are unrelated

Are you absolutely sure?

it is possible

an ex-friend of mine told me she used to dump men for farting.

I thought she was kidding, until I realized later that she was the antichrist, or if not, at least his niece.

I think my husband and I stopped holding it in around each other sometime around the third or fourth month of our relationship.

one of my exes had a notorious stomach prob and used to be embarrassed and scurry away when she was...ahem...breaking wind. finally one night she couldn't escape and let out an audible, quiet fart, and she was turning beet red. I told her to relax, and that it was cute.

in short, you know you're in love when you think your partner's farts are cute.

So, I'm finally getting back to my normal levels of horniness, and my husband just has to throw his back out. Shit.

The ratio of my audible farts vs. my wife's has to be something along the lines of 75:1.

yeah, me too. i'm convinced that if it weren't for the audibility, the quantity might be closer to 2:1, but i'll never know because gf is all coy about it.

one thing you may rest assured of on iltmi: if the subject is farts, Neanderthal is up for the discussion

glad as always to oblige my friends and neighbors. plus, they say "write what you know", so....

true fact: once i accidentally ate a bunch of bread dough. i had the worst gas in the history of gas, just a consistent rumble-tum-tumbling that lasted for hours and didn't smell... normal? ...? human...?...farty? it had kind of a sweet, hoppy, vaguely medicinal characteristic that wasn't even immediately identifiable as flatulance. in addition to being painful, this yeast-gas was inconvenient. i was hosting some out-of-town friends on a jaunt to the Getty museum, and actually succeeded in clearing out a few galleries during our visit. On the way home we were stuck in traffic, and my poor friends were trapped with me in a Corolla on the 405 for the better part of two hours while I blew malign gale-force wind on the minute.

hoppy

OMG YOU WERE FARTING PALE ALES?

I was farting a high wind to jamaica

I'm gonna be honest here. It's probably more like 350:1.

fair and balanced

I went most of my life thinking I wasn't a farty dude. And then I started working nights. Jesus. I don't know why it is just at night, but damn my anus just lets fly.

That's strange; for most people, the digestive system slows down at night.

my anus just lets fly

just . . . no

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no

Chilli for dinner last night: hellloooo fart town.

ANUS: THEY FLY @ U FACE

xp

looooool

I was farting a high wind to jamaica

Harry Belafonte does a great version of that.

I'm gonna be honest here. It's probably more like 350:1.

Feeling this post. No, literally. In 3... 2... 1...

i just farteds?

Oh, and it felt good.

i'm loving the fart ratios. <3 yous guys (so long as i'm never trapped in a car with any of you).

i wonder why that is

btw - how does one accidentally eat a bunch of bread dough?!

xxp if you were trapped in a car with these guys, there'd be enough methane to run the car. You'd never run out of gas!

I currently have a case of the painful gassy shits. OK, which one of you had a stomach bug that's transmissible over the Internet?

i wonder why that is

― sarahel, Monday, November 14, 2011 3:19 PM (12 minutes ago) [IP: 69.106.226.62] Bookmark

Seriously? It's because most women are ridiculously hung up about farting, shitting or anything else having to do with their asses. I found out recently a that a friend of mine who has been with her bf for four years has never farted in front of him. Are you fucking kidding me? How is that even possible. I then found out that she's also never shit at work.

Women have some weird fucking hangups about stuff that we're taught from very early on aren't ladylike. These ratios are BS. Those girls fart just as much they've just become skilled at doing it very covertly.

think u miss understood.

that is so strange! they have that much butt control?

wait, did I? I was skimming, admittedly.

you understood my question correctly, E.

Ah, OK :)

And yeah, idk!! Another friend was present who also said she'd never farted in front of a male. I think there's a lot of going into other rooms and stuff happening with these non-farting type women.

if you insert a vodka-soaked tampon into your anus it absorbs flatulence

hahahahaaha

xp - ENBB - that is still so weird to me! also, the people who don't poop at work, like what? but then i remember that we were both baffled by the very existence of foot flushers. I do wonder if these are the same people.

also - the role of vodka-soaked tampons in oral sex on menstruating women

I am obv 5, because farting still makes me giggle. Except when Mr Veg leaves farts in the car. Then I call my lawyer :(

maybe these ratios would be smaller if men were not always "butt chugging"

I have a friend who wont pee or poop at work. I believe her to be insane.