Sex Droughts

::Sigh:: Less than a dozen times in the past twelve months, and in an otherwise happy long term, many-year relationship. Rejected on a weekly basis. Partner is unwilling to discuss the problem, and goes out of the way to avoid sex. Should I pull the trigger on the whole thing, even though I love this person immensely? Therapy isn't an option because partner doesn't think it's an issue. Just thinks they have a "low sex drive." Even alluding to the problem brings up fights. I can't live the rest of my life with sexual fulfillment.

Can I?

I take it you mean "without" in that last sentence.

I think it's a very bad sign that he/she is unwilling to discuss the problem. If anything, "an otherwise happy long term" relationship should allow room to speak about each other's woes and worries, no? The fact your partner doesn't want to at least explain his/her loss of sex drive, or listen to your concerns about this, seems more worrying to me than not having sex.

Partner needs to realize that it is an issue. It might not be for partner (though I think partner's in denial here), but if it's an issue for you, it is an issue for the both of you. So it will need to be addressed and partner needs to realize this. Otherwise it's almost as if partner is 'giving up'.

Haha Stevie, it's not exactly working for me (I'm going through cycles of attachment, disappointment, indifference) but there's no real compelling reason for me to end it (besides the above).

Anonymous poster, I was your girlfriend once (not literally). I was living in such close quarters with someone that they ceased to be attractive to me. I actually didn't think I had a problem and had no desire for anything to change. I can't believe he stayed with me for as long as he did. No advice, except for that sometimes people go through asexual stages?

As a guy who takes a very long time to climax (due to my neurological condition), I can speak to changing the focus of the act.
Sex is just as enjoyable without one, imo.

it takes me forever due to my anti-depressants. My doctor had me cut them down, gave me wellbutrin to raise the dopamine to counter act the effects. It helps, and when i do bust a nut the mother fucker hits the ceiling.

I do love tmi

http://cdn2.maxim.com/maxim/files/2007/08/22/man-juice-at-movies/scary_movie.jpg

bet mh feels p stupid about his post now

oh look, maxim images don't load at work

I'm saved!

What is that, a girl going through a car wash?

Oh, and I'm another guy in total agreement with Trip Maker

God bless you, end of university year. Drought over for now!

not sure whether anonymous is male or female, though i guess the question applies in both cases -- is it any and all sexual activity or just intercourse?

My long distance crush is coming into town tonight for a three day weekend.
Pretty excited. Pretty nervous.

Hit that, TM!

Yay!

Awesome.... I only get nervous when I really care about the outcome, so i've come to embrace nervousness.

4-6 months is the worst iirc -

― sarahel, Monday, September 20, 2010 4:58 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

kill me now

I'm somewhere close to my 1 yr anniversary, I think that means you all have to get me either paper or clocks. Whatever those categories mean.

misread clocks there for a moment

split the difference, paper clock

I think my recent decision to go on a break from drinking is going to bring the drought issue to the forefront when I don't have whiskey to numb my brain

have sex before the 1 yr anniversary. better than paper or clocks!
xp

2011: The year I learned that one nighters are kind of disappointing and get turned off of seeking out intimacy in general

and for some reason I felt good about it?

2012: the year you get turned on by intimacy again

it is important!

even tho it is also kind of scary sometimes! eeee

http://cdn2.gbot.me/photos/LJ/Br/1298909610/when_it_rains_it_pours___-Matthew_Town-20000000001560247-375x500.jpg

:D

2011 was a year of foul tips, whiffs, and failed bunt attempts for me

all sounds rather rude...

i'm at 15 mos D:

sex- when it pains i roars

Surely "foul tip" doesn't mean what it sounds like.

As a gay male living in a big city, I could find sex literally almost any time, any day I want, but semi- to fully-anonymous hookups have become worse than nothing at all. Unfortunately, over the last year I have found exactly ZERO opportunities for anything even remotely intimate or not-empty.

I've given up hope for romance, but it would be nice to have something that wasn't just a mutual release of biological urges.

Anyway, 5 months. There was a drought of 6 months before that, broken by a cloudburst from getting so drunk that I was able to pretend I liked the guy long enough to mess around.

anything with 11s is some asskicking bad luck. i have eternal hope for all in 2012.

18 months now, I think. My roommate thinks I must be chomping at the bit, but I don't really miss sex in and of itself. I've passed on casual opportunities, I don't see the drought breaking unless I meet anyone I feel like dating.

Three day weekend visit has turned into six days.
I'm over my head, sure feels nice.

sexytimez 2012! w00t

re:my advice to 'hit that', you're welcome

Much appreesh

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy

feeling this.

or not, as the case may be.

La la la la okay men's forearms are starting to look attractive again. I should be right as rain by May.

hooray!

laurel hie thee to a climbing gym

the one in mpls is a frikkin meat market

That sounds much too immediate and active. I think I'll just passively admire strangers for at least another month and a half.

No see that's precisely why you go to the climbing gym. Lean men with well developed forearms, bein butch.

My wandering eye is not that purposeful right now. But you make a v good case for about a month down the road.

ditto on the climbing gym views. i mean like daaamn. my gym is also v friendly and casual and cool but yknow everyone is at least on one level checking everyone else out, and mostly in this admiring, adorable way.

no sex drought in my world, just saying hi from the rainforest... not braggin just sayin! i can go for months without caring all that much but when it starts to rain i look back and wonder what the eff i was thinking not even attempting to date anyone or even freakin flirt a little. silliness! and i srsly do think that climbing helped me feel hot again. lol tmi, yeah...

I think that everyone has helped me understand why there is a sudden proliferation of climbing gyms. brb, going to see if they have a "how do I use a climbing gym" intro class or something