Sex Droughts

Hanging out with women is just like chatting to them at the bar unless the groping starts.

unless until

i'll probably get a boner. i haven't had to use my moves in 15 years...i dont think i have any anymore...im wearing ben sherman and levis...i feel confident. Im also scared if things go good and she wants to bang...THEN WHAT. All i can imagine is me throwing out my back...mother of christ.

well, if you are tumescent and she wants to bang, then i imagine it would be relatively simple?

haha! i have to buy condoms, i haven't bought condoms in 15 years either. do i buy lube...haha. oh man, im like a 14 year old.

lube is a little presumptuous maybe?

xp - i think they are pretty much the same as they were 15 years ago.

omg the lube thing is making me remember that scene in Superbad

yeah you definitely are gonna wanna bring lube and a buncha other "adult goods" otherwise it will just be ... AWKWARD

thats why i said it. haha. besides who needs lube when you got spit.

bring a metal detector and some asbestos gloves just to be on the safe side

if i learned anything from online porn, spit is all you need.

and a gag ball

also a mining helmet i guess? can probably make do w/o a bathyscaphe

and yeah, just do whatever ppl in porn do is a good rule to follow i find

del, im kidding.

save the spit for the 3rd date.

...im wearing ben sherman and levis...

good call, bro!

del, im kidding.

yeh, but i am being serious.

of course if i do buy condoms im probably going to do the same thing as i did as a 16 year old, mix them up with other random items hoping the checkout person won't notice.

maybe i'll wear some spurs.

yes!

Oh man, I was dropping off a prescription and the dude in front of me was just buying condoms, going to the pharmacist counter to be discreet or something. Hot pharmacy tech helped me next and I so wanted to make a "sooo, think I should get some of those too? *creepy wink*" joke

can't you just go to a porn shop or other "adult emporium" to get them?

lets see, kit kats, roll of toilet paper, GQ magazine, shoelaces, condoms, vitamins, gum, snowglobe...check.

can't you just go to a porn shop or other "adult emporium" to get them?

if i want french ticklers?

who does that just to buy condoms? sheesh, go to a pharmacy place or the grocery store or the gas station

unless you're using them regularly, then buy in bulk online to save money obviously

(my suggested items on amazon is pretty hilarious btw)

i wonder if they still make the same ones i used back in the day.

larger selection? you might feel less uncomfortable buying condoms and lube from adult superstore because the dude in front of you is buying back issues of Plumpers?

i lolled at 'tumescent'

haha. teenage tit freaks.

they have all these weird ones now, built in cock rings with vibration...WTF is that.

i refuse to buy condoms from anywhere other than sleazy truck stop bathrooms. it's just a thing with me

"Bottom Feeders" magazine is pretty good i hear

basically, have a sense of humor about it, which it seems like you do.

this all assumes you're comfortable chilling out at the adult superstore instead of having one possibly awkward moment

oh man, a friend admitted to buying the vibration thing, and then explained that the first one he bought was a dud and he had to take it back to exchange it

might have to go home for a pre-game crank of the pole.

and to trim my nose hair.

^^ pro tip

but if you buy a bunch of unrelated items along with the condoms and lube, one might think that they aren't unrelated items, y'know?

whipped cream, cucumbers, baby oil, bear mace

Yeah, when you got up with a bunch of assorted things PLUS a box of condoms, everyone in the world knows you just came to the store for condoms.

yo they are selling vibration rings in your neighborhood drugstore now

do not include cat food, tapioca pudding and children's toys with your condom purchase

...im wearing ben sherman and levis...

good call, bro!

―  (gr8080), Thursday, September 1, 2011 3:29 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha was abt to post this, d-40 approved

Just wear a shit-eating grin ffs. At least you'll look like you're getting some.

Do women care if men are "getting some"? The whole idea behind giving people you want to attract the impression that you've already attracted someone else is confusing me. I understand wanting to show that others find you attractive but I don't get the whole swirl of myth and legend about looking like you're already getting laid.

ime ppl dont like to think you're sleepin around a lot, more that u have many options but happened to select this particular person out of them ... we want 2 be chosen

Yes!

i would say that women (and probably to a degree the other way around) like the idea that the man has the *option* to sleep around but elects not to

as a big gendered generalization

Yes yes I get that. Just bouncing off of M White's post about looking like you're getting some, and I have noticed/heard that expressed before like it's a good thing for other women to see you in that light. I think that's weird. Maybe I've misunderstood the message all this time?