Sex Droughts

dude you have to hide the cigar box

I have a hilarious story 'bout gettin' busy in a car - or more accurately an unsuccessful attempt at same - from my college years. Funnier for other people than it was for me actually. Will recount if anyone's interested.

i for one love ribald stories

a friend of mine almost died doing that. cautionary tale/cautionary tail.

Tuomas the Train Engine or something

It's been proven by purely anecdotal evidence from my own experience that Thomas the tank engine causes autism. My four year old runs to me in a panic shouting 'Thomas is on and Henry is in the living room!!!!Quick!!!!' then we both run in and I change the channel while she lures her 1 year old brother's attention away from the TV.
In any case living with so much stuff everywhere can definitely cause some kinds of disorder. Mental I mean. I'm sure of it but I was raised to believe a house in order = a mind in order. That goes for handbags too, ladies.

I have a hilarious story 'bout gettin' busy in a car - or more accurately an unsuccessful attempt at same - from my college years. Funnier for other people than it was for me actually. Will recount if anyone's interested.

This story doesn't end with you unknowing returning to a party with blood all over your face does it?

y'know that Thomas the Tank Engine is v. popular with kids with Autism, right?

More proof

Anymore evidence I might as well write a book and hit the morning show circuit

i've heard it theorized that the faces are easy for kids with Autism Spectrum conditions to read - they do look like some of the communication toys used in teaching

plus, well, they're trains

Really? My best friends kid (an avid fan of ttte btw) has no ability to comprehend anger and has never been angry nor reacted to someone else's anger. Those trains seem to be pissed off A LOT.

now that im separated lets see how long it lasts.

Kind of bummed about this topic, suddenly, momentarily. I don't want to have the sex w anyone, though, I just want to be around someone that I can look at often who will look back at me.

Well put.

So I'm hanging out with a real live woman tonight besides my soon to be ex wife, first time in 15 long yrs.

no pressure

I'm anxious as all hell. Already spilled an Italian sub all over myself

kinda like losing your virginity, it's something you just gotta do, and it will probably be a bit weird and awkward, but after it's over you should feel better.

oil and vinegar on the ol' brazole

Hanging out with women is just like chatting to them at the bar unless the groping starts.

unless until

i'll probably get a boner. i haven't had to use my moves in 15 years...i dont think i have any anymore...im wearing ben sherman and levis...i feel confident. Im also scared if things go good and she wants to bang...THEN WHAT. All i can imagine is me throwing out my back...mother of christ.

well, if you are tumescent and she wants to bang, then i imagine it would be relatively simple?

haha! i have to buy condoms, i haven't bought condoms in 15 years either. do i buy lube...haha. oh man, im like a 14 year old.

lube is a little presumptuous maybe?

xp - i think they are pretty much the same as they were 15 years ago.

omg the lube thing is making me remember that scene in Superbad

yeah you definitely are gonna wanna bring lube and a buncha other "adult goods" otherwise it will just be ... AWKWARD

thats why i said it. haha. besides who needs lube when you got spit.

bring a metal detector and some asbestos gloves just to be on the safe side

if i learned anything from online porn, spit is all you need.

and a gag ball

also a mining helmet i guess? can probably make do w/o a bathyscaphe

and yeah, just do whatever ppl in porn do is a good rule to follow i find

del, im kidding.

save the spit for the 3rd date.

...im wearing ben sherman and levis...

good call, bro!

del, im kidding.

yeh, but i am being serious.

of course if i do buy condoms im probably going to do the same thing as i did as a 16 year old, mix them up with other random items hoping the checkout person won't notice.

maybe i'll wear some spurs.

yes!

Oh man, I was dropping off a prescription and the dude in front of me was just buying condoms, going to the pharmacist counter to be discreet or something. Hot pharmacy tech helped me next and I so wanted to make a "sooo, think I should get some of those too? *creepy wink*" joke

can't you just go to a porn shop or other "adult emporium" to get them?

lets see, kit kats, roll of toilet paper, GQ magazine, shoelaces, condoms, vitamins, gum, snowglobe...check.

can't you just go to a porn shop or other "adult emporium" to get them?

if i want french ticklers?

who does that just to buy condoms? sheesh, go to a pharmacy place or the grocery store or the gas station

unless you're using them regularly, then buy in bulk online to save money obviously

(my suggested items on amazon is pretty hilarious btw)

i wonder if they still make the same ones i used back in the day.

larger selection? you might feel less uncomfortable buying condoms and lube from adult superstore because the dude in front of you is buying back issues of Plumpers?