thread to get over a breakup

tuff chicks that think they can throw a punch and it not be a big deal can fuck right off tho

― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Friday, December 24, 2010 4:04 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

honestly dont know if yr kidding, but would you feel the same way if a petite chick slapped you in the face for being a cad?

not trolling here, am genuinely interested: would you be ok with (you or a male friend) punching a female friend if she said something totally offensive/out of line?

nope, never. which is why i've got a problem with someone assuming and taking advantage of that

or are you asking gbx?

gbx, i was also talking bout the general and not the specific btw, i mean power to the lot of ye if the odd box is a thing for ye imo

would you feel the same way if a petite chick slapped you in the face for being a cad?

well i'm sure it would never arise, but no, i'm talking full on punch type stuff to be specific

no. i am not okay with face punching at all, as a general rule. my main point was that i've been punched in the face twice, it didn't hurt, and my friends each time had a right to be angry, so i shrugged it off. and i think that under the circumstances, that's totally reasonable---cutting off contact, getting wildly angry, calling the cops, etc., would have been grossly disproportionate to the offense. and i think it's a little strange that anyone would a) think that that means that i am advocating/okay with violence and b) assume that all instances of friend-on-friend violence is this totally unacceptable thing that we should have hard and fast rules about. obv ppl from different backgrounds/circumstances will have different feelings on the matter of violence/abuse, but getting decked for saying something boorish just doesn't register to me as something worth getting upset about. we were laughing about it fifteen minutes later, we laugh about it now.

tl;dr: you had to be there

how did this even come up again? tabes punched a dude or something?

i am broadly agreeing with you with not breaking friendships, calling cops, etc, i think- but i'd have a hard time not losing it in the moment

ps i say plenty boorish shit, but i dunno, maybe i'm just naturally fuckin charmin in person or somethin

oh i was angry for a split second like "wtf was that for? you can't jsut punch ppl!" but then we both cooled down and agreed that the whole situation was ridiculous, bff

anyway the funniest thing to me has always been that it was twin sisters on two separate occasions

not trolling here, am genuinely interested: would you be ok with (you or a male friend) punching a female friend if she said something totally offensive/out of line?

I know someone who has this as her stance, with her being the punched one. What with gender equality, the relative OK-ness of a one-off punch being a not-insane thing in some circumstances, etc.

I was taken aback, but it's one of those "it'd have to be a fucking awful offense to compensate for the physical disparity" things. Thinking about it, it still seems very, very wrong. Frankly, ever resorting to violence seems really wrong.

had a girl kick my fkn ass once, tho tbf she was a green belt in kyokushinkai karate. we are, indeed, bff so there you are. and we were like 14.

Thread to get over a punchup

the friend/lover i punched is a notorious sociopath. he's the sort of guy who once snuck up behind me with cocaine-covered hands and rubbed that shit in my eyes.

haven't seen or talked to him in more than a year, tbh.

the friend/lover i punched is a notorious sociopath. he's the sort of guy who once snuck up behind me with cocaine-covered hands and rubbed that shit in my eyes.

This changes things quite a bit--violence toward someone who has been violent toward you is quite forgivable.

Debating just how much of a disaster one night of (probably drunk) ex-sex would be. On a 1-10 scale it might be an 8. Might also be worth it.

if y'all both single then get to it imo

I've done ex-sex. generally rule is, do it long after you became exes to ensure any buried feelings are just that, very buried or nonexistent.

having sex with an ex weeks afterward=mistake I'll never make again.

btw is it weird for my ex to show up in my dreams? and by this, I don't mean my most recent ex, I mean the one before this one.

I wasn't barely thinking about her at all, especially when I was dating new girl, and now she invades my subconscious every other night.

nah it's not weird. or if it is, i'm gonna need to get advice on why my teacher from when i was 6 makes regular appearances.

xp - not weird at all, esp. if you were together for a significant period of time

significant for me, not significant for most, so I guess that counts.

it's partially my most recent ex's fault for planting some of it in my brain

in ur case she'll make an inception

nah it's not weird. or if it is, i'm gonna need to get advice on why my teacher from when i was 6 makes regular appearances.

It would be even weirder if your teacher was your ex.

you got all the detail you need already

wait darrag what if she incepted the whole relationship and i never really went out with her

not impossible, i've definitely spent long periods of my life in what turned out to be imaginary relationships

^^^^^^^^ ouch but yes.

tho none of them were as hot or terrifying as cotillard

I have about 5 different imaginary relationships going on right now.

ughhhh holiday text

could be worse i spose but still

apparently i need to be more assholish, because less so isn't working

I've tried to be an asshole, but I'm a bad actor and they see through it.

the asshole angle only works for genuine assholes. when you're a nice guy they can tell you're just acting and they see through it.

sad but tr00

we need some asshole girls that go for nice guys

http://www3.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/500+Days+Summer+2009+Sundance+Portrait+Session+NfxKBZ9MsQRl.jpg

is he gluing his pubes to his face

is she an asshole?

working in what way?

that pic made me irrationally angry

hands up who needs a drink

well it's 8am here but sure why not

okay, so, i've written about this plenty of places on ilx.

but my most recent ex has become my best friend, in this weird way. we spend a lot of time together. we really enjoy each other's company. we even occasionally have sex.

my problem is that i can't get over the 'relationship' aspect of it. the ilx gays know this, but yesterday, he shot a porno with one of his favorite lovers. since his parents were in town and bought him a hotel room, he went out to dinner with this lover and his parents, then i met them and we went for a drink, then they went back to the hotel. and i was alone. and when i finally got home, all i could do was cry. i wanted to meet his parents. i wanted to sleep in that hotel room. i wanted to be near him and share that sort of intimacy with him.

to make matters worse, he is shooting another porno today on his last day off for a week, and seems like he might be giving up on this project of the past couple months of building a house for himself, which is nearly completed, and which i've been helping him with. like, i have a feeling he's going to move down to santacruz with this boy, who is really that: a 21yearold porn star who gets flown all over the country to shoot porn and have sex with men. they don't share that much about their lives with each other (in my ex's own words), they just fuck and hang out.

it isn't even the sex, for while it was fucking amazing sex, it's more that i'm like: you're falling for HIM? what the fuck happened to us? i still don't get it, and i still am really upset about it, and i really dislike him right now. like, i love him more than anyone in the world. and we have a very real connection. but like... FUCK.

i need therapy. i really do.

i feel ya dude.

but my most recent ex has become my best friend, in this weird way. we spend a lot of time together. we really enjoy each other's company. we even occasionally have sex.

In short, you haven't actually broken up with him. The jealousy you're feeling over his new man kind of confirms this. Maybe some time spent thinking of him as an ex rather than a friend might help.

And let me express sympathy for your troubles.

^

it's hard in some situations. i was in a relationship w/ someone i played music with and it was really hard to move on, in fact in toto it probably took 2 or 3 years to fully get over it, just because we were in each others face all the time. also i was in love with him and he was my best friend. also he dumped me and immediately started dating someone new and i had to have her in my face all the time. it was impossible, also she was stupid.

And it's going to be extra difficult for Tabes, because the porno movie industry is very, very close knit.

xp - yeah, i think the key thing to realize -- at least for me -- is "he WAS my best friend" - past tense. If he has fucked you over, or hurt you, then, really, he is no longer your best friend, and you need to put more distance between you and him. I mean, it's hard enough trying not to dwell/obsess/feel like shit about the situation in general, but when it's physically in your face on a regular basis -- well, I couldn't deal anymore, so I ended up quitting something that was a major part of my life.