Sex Droughts

you both seem to be affraid to talk about it, so either get the courage or talk it together with a third, proffesional person.

lack of communication is the worse.

And he and I are both pretty similar in that we both like our own solitary time...so it's like we've fallen into this routine that's more like we're besties sharing a house than a married couple.

― That is the stench of tyranny (VegemiteGrrrl), Thursday, November 18, 2010 4:23 PM (2 minutes ago)

but that's kinda what a lot of married couples are like!

i'm in a similar situation but i'm on the other side. will need to contribute to this later when i have more time to go into it properly

ok since this is ILTMI - maybe the sex-before-sleep thing just isn't feasible - though it tends to be the most convenient, and long term relationships seem to end up being more about what's convenient as time goes on. Johnny's suggestion of a motel stay is good. But that's kinda a one time thing. When are other occasions/what are other circumstances when getting it on is feasible and desirable?

Sarahel, yeah...I don't really feel like there's a problem in the marriage in general. There's still no-one I'd rather see at the end of the day, and he still can make me laugh til I cry about the silliest things.

I think yeah, I just need to suck it up and be okay just talking about what I want. Without fearing that I'm being 'forward' or 'asking' for something.

And Johnny I think you're right about shaking up the routine.

Oh, as for not-before-bed or the hotel thing...that actually is sort of feasible because we do go to SF occasionally to see concerts or friends or things, and stay in hotels every now and then...I think that's a great suggestion about using that as the golden opportunity.

like - do you guys watch TV/movies together? Cuddle together on the couch? That can easily lead to clothing removal and the boneyard

lol boneyard

Yeah, watching TV and cuddling on the couch is def a thing we do a lot of. It really is lame that I find myself in this position.

well, presumably you know what positions would lead to ... well, you know.

to the boneyard!

ime changing the before-bed routine idea helps a lot with this.

boneyard o u guys

sleep schedules (and by extension friskiness schedules) being out of sync = perfect recipe for sex drought

blame ian for "boneyard"

i mean, you can always just do the old, hand on knee, move up to thigh, move over to genital region ...

diagrams plz

basically - grasp shaft of penis, stroke, nod emphatically and smile

i can't help it, any time i'm watching a movie and my girl pulls that move i slap them, gather my shawl around my shoulders, and storm out of the room. i mean really, what happened to treating a guy like a gentleman

i dunno where 'them' came from in that routine tbh

Diagram noted. Your suggestions are also welcome too darragh, for a gentlemanly gentleman

I have a small suspicion that part of the drought also has to do with Mr Veg's sex drive waning. But, as I'm seeing all too clearly now, the only way to know that for sure is to initiate sex hydration plan and visit the boneyard.

there's always the technique of if he has his arm around your shoulder, take his hand and place firmly on boob

xp

on a serious note, if that might be a concern then i don't advise all -out surprise ball-grabbing as a move.

'on a serious note' followed by that

the gist of my advice is, if you don't feel comfortable verbalizing your boneyard wishes, then perhaps try a physical demonstration -- initiate playful foreplay

if he has his arm around your shoulder, take his hand and place firmly on boob

The perfect cue.

IMO if you are watching TV together with your head on his lap, that is the perfect time to do a covert BJ operation. Oldest move in the book.

does covert mean you do it so he doesn't notice?

Yeah the only time that shit can be covert is if your guy is asleep and you wake him up that way. Otherwise, he's aware of what's going on down there at all times and in every situation.

i reckon the answer is simply 'be naked more often'

I just call all sex initiation "covert operations" and I didn't even realize that made no sense until now.

I'm generally more of a talker than a covert-ops person, so while the boob-grab and thigh-stroke maneuvers are good ones, I'd go with a talk -- just not a talk that has to result in sex right then and there.

"Mr. Veg, I love you like nobody's business, but I'm not ready to spend the rest of my days celibate. Let's figure something out. I've got a case of hot pants."

covert operations = prove as not erotic

"Mr. Veg, I love you like nobody's business, but I'm not ready to spend the rest of my days celibate. Let's figure something out. I've got a case of hot pants."

If Mr. Veg is cool, which I assume he is, using this line verbatim should work.

(wonders if it would be weird to quote WmC when initiating Operation: Boneyard)

You guys are awesome. Thank you so much for the advice & lols, I feel a thousand times better about this now.

Hugs!!

xp *takes a bow*

It defuses tension with humor, it recruits Mr. Veg to the common cause instead of making the situation adversarial. "With you and me solving this thing together, our genitals are not going to know what hit them!"

oh and Johnny, Mr Veg is v v cool :)

I may find a way to cue up some James Brown with the hot pants line...

if you're feeling crafty, you could always make him a handmade invitation to the boneyard

Lololol

or you could repurpose one of any number of Hallmark cards with pictures of dogs on them

http://www.soulstrut.com/images/smileys/dead.gif

wmc otm

http://www.picturehistory.com/images/products/0/0/4/prod_402.jpg
"You are invited to my vagina!"

crut!!!

dying; on way to boneyard

lj - you clearly are not or were ever goth

haha omg crut!

Table for two, please

http://i878.photobucket.com/albums/ab342/MetromixCLE/Boneyard%20Westlake/IMG_2108.jpg

lol

Sadly, it looks empty.

important to remember that the boneyard is open for lunch 7 days a week

Ask about our sliders!

I'm off my game tonight. Normally, I'd be able to come up with all kinds of restaurant/sex euphemisms.