thread to get over a breakup

Hahah well this thread went in an interesting direction while I was asleep =)

I'm not sure I even wanna sleep with anyone right now tbh, just lookin fwd to fun times finding out stuff about a new(ish) person. There's totally other guys Id'd crack onto/sleep with as well if I could but I'm not sure they are/would be interested (if I could dare ever let on I was! Thats the bit I hate...sigh).

...sometimes, in my bleaker moments, I wonder if R settled with me because I was there for him, and he couldnt have the person/type he really wanted. I wasnt quite it, but I was good enough, and we were good friends.

The minute someone came along who fitted his needs/wants to a tee, he basically didnt hesitate to drop everything and run to her.

Sure makes me feel special :(

just lookin fwd to fun times finding out stuff about a new(ish) person.

that's a good attitude to have - you're an awesome person, and there are a lot of other awesome, interesting, fun people out there, and your ex-bf is a statistically insignificant percentage of that number.

now we're talkin

giving credit where credit is due -- i was merely paraphrasing a much more eloquent estela post from another thread.

i dunno if "the right serious relationship" is possible that soon after a major breakup

― C.H.U.D.D.Y. Chasers (sarahel), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 8:16 PM (1 hour ago)

it def can be, my upcoming gettin hitched is based on a situation that came out of those circumstances

way to up the ante mayne, we're tryna manage expectations in the breakup room if you hadn't noticed.

fair enough, have also gotten stuck in crap relationships due to over-exuberant rebounding

You know, now its the morning, I am even more irritated with what my so-called best friend said to me y'day about this minor, silly passing crush. I wish I'd not said anything now, because he went on a rant about "we need to talk, this is a patter, you have a shit record with this" and now I'm like dude, what in the FUCK? I sit around lonely, isolated and moping and everyone tells me to get off my butt and get out and have fun.

So I get off my butt, get out and meet some awesome people, and admit I might like one of em a little bit. And now I'm "on a roundabout" and "a pattern" and other negative castigations.

With friends like these, etc. They're really overthinking what I'm doing here, surely? I hardly wanna DATE anyone!

this is a pattern, that should read above.

dr. me says "do whatever the fuck you want to do"

Trayce, is the best friend a woman or a guy?

i mean that in a totally empowering way, not a not giving a shit way, to clarify. xpostt

yeah trayce ppl have probably given you enough "advice" at this point--i think you know what you want to be doing

if the dude's good people and you're good people then throw him a gday bounce imo and yknow ur friend'll get over the rejection of the intervention

sara: a guy, and he is ALWAYS REALLY NEGATIVE about everything, I do love him dearly but god he can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Trayce, does this guy have a crush on you (your best friend that is)?

Oh god no, he's married :) we're just like naggy brother and sister rly.

"this is a pattern, you have a shit record with this"

otm tbf but wth

Yeah sure, I can dig his observation and agree with it, but god, just be happy for me getting on with my life for once, dude jeez.

My ex, N? He was the first to jump in and say "good on you! Go for it, have some fun, you deserve it!". Bless him. I let a good one go, there :/

Crushdude just rang me at work mid=afternoon while "between meetings" to ask me for a coffee (which sadly I had to decline as I'm flat out)

This guy is doing some srs "hey Im interested" legwork here isnt he?

I'm not used to this haha.

'gday bounce' OMG

I feel stupid for not being able to work out wth kind of euphemism that is.

australian tigger

BTW aforementioned dude is totes interested in me, as I found out last night.

Ah still got it *struts*.

With Trayce's moniker on the page, I misread this title as thread to get over a handjob.

Yay Trayce, you go girl!

Went on date last night (well, with other friends), everyone got well trashed, then eventually had the place to ourselves.

Yeah, that was a very successful evening <3 Recovery time is now.

daaaaammmmmnnnn

fucking awe3some

Iknowrite? It really has helped me get past everything. Not saying I'd get involved with this guy, but life is fun again for a change.

Ow my liver, tho.

Bingobango! Congrats, Trayce!

:D

Did you disrespect his property?

Properly?

Bwahaha.

feel so sad. :\ miss her.

*hugs* ian <3

aww Ian sincerely feeling for you xxxxxx

The worst part is seeing someone I knew so well morph so quickly into someone I'd never give the time of day.

Yeah, thats always a killer :(

Well, that didn't last long :-/

last night i dreamt that you, who never ever go to the doctor when you are sick, was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had only a short time left to live.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyYWCUUnJU0

Feeling a real sting of loneliness right now tbh. Have had some dates, but they've all been so empty, the sort of thing you enjoy when yr in yr 20s/30s because you have all the time in the world to do that shit. But I'm almost 40, and I feel like... oh, I dont even know anymore.

how much time you have is relative - like it's less about life expectancy and more like felt expectations about where you should be/plan to be at what age, I think.

Oh for sure, thats exactly what it is, I guess. Not that I really had any specific plans or goals...

nah, but, well, at least for me, i had vague visions of what my life would be like, and expectations, though i don't really think i thought of them as expectations until the unexpected happened.

i had lunch with my ex yesterday during which he discussed how he never wanted another girlfriend and hated having someone in his house/bed and just didn't want to deal with another person in his life ever again. sound like a terrible existence. and i think he is kidding himself.

being single this time around has been rough and lonely. not sure if that is b/c i am 38 and single or because i feel like i know every single eligible dude in my town too well to want to date them. either way, unlike my ex i would love to have a relationship because i hate the entire dating process.

Having a romantic prospect (even when you know objectively nothing's going to come of it) sucks for the way the whole experience tries to remind you that how you normally feel is not right.

yeah, he's kidding himself. i've kinda been in his position before. where a relationship fucks you up and you can't make new connections for a while, where time is passing by and those nerve endings just don't want to come back to life. sort of exhaustion + numbness to new emotional connections. it's probably temporary and will fade over time and he'll maybe feel silly for saying such melodramatic things but the feelings seem really valid and of weight while you're feeling them.

feel ya on the exhausted dating scene tip. i mean i'm in a serious thing now but man was i there for a while.

btw i wouldn't have guessed 38 by the pics you've posted around the board. you'll rope a good one.