Freud: So, Herr Rilke, what brings you to see me?
Rilke: I am afraid you will laugh, Herr Doktor.
Freud: Ah! (Writes a brief note.) Very interesting.
Rilke: What? What is so interesting?
Freud: I wrote a book about laughter. A very interesting book I might add.
Freud: I think I have a copy of it around here somewhere. I could loan it to you.
Rilke: No! No! Do not bother yourself.
Freud: (Rummages through a pile of books) It is no bother.
Rilke: I do not want to read your book.
Freud: (Stops rummaging.) You don't?
Rilke: No. Upon my honor.
Freud: (Sulks) Very well. I wouldn't dream of forcing you.
Rilke: Wouldn't dream! Ha ha!
Freud: What is so funny? Of course I wouldn't make you read my book.
Rilke: (Wipes a tear away. Composes self.) No, I don't suppose you would.
Freud: Don't be silly. Now, how can I help you?
Rilke: It's nothing, really.
Freud: Ah! (Makes another note.)
Rilke: I wish you'd quit doing that.
Freud: Continue. What would you like me to quit doing?
Rilke: Saying "Ah!" and writing like that.
Freud: Did I say "ah"? I can't recall.
Rilke: You did. Most definitely.
Freud: I see. (Writes another note.)
Rilke: It's my feet, actually.
Freud: Your feet?
Rilke: Why I came to see you.
Freud: Ah! (Frowns.) I am sorry. I said "ah" again.
Rilke: (Nods acknowledgement, very formally.) Herr Doktor.
Freud: About your feet then.
Rilke: Yes. I find I cannot transcend them. Perhaps, if I explain.
Freud: By all means, do.
Rilke: I have long wished to transcend this material plane, this tawdry existence, this petty round of love, suffering and death.
Rilke: (Irritated). I was going to. I was merely pausing for effect.
Freud: Pardon. Go on then. "This tawdry existence" you were saying.
Rilke: (Sighs) I have bunions.
Freud: And you wish to transcend them?
Rilke: Yes. I yearn to. I die to. I despair of them. But it's quite impossible you see. They hurt like the dickens.
Freud: (Writes again. Tears a sheet from his notebook and extends it.) This man can remove them for you. He is a podiatrist. Highly recommended. He tends the Emperor Franz Josef's feet.
Rilke: I don't think you understand. I wish to transcend them, not remove them.
Freud: Don't be nuts.
Rilke: (Crams hat on head and goes to the door. Turns.) I knew you would laugh.
― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 1 August 2005 20:09 (sixteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 1 August 2005 21:46 (sixteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 1 August 2005 21:47 (sixteen years ago) link
Be afraid...Be very afraid...
― Zen Clown, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 09:11 (sixteen years ago) link
― Shifty McShift, Tuesday, 6 June 2006 00:42 (fifteen years ago) link
― usaa insurance, Saturday, 1 July 2006 21:45 (fifteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 1 July 2006 23:18 (fifteen years ago) link
― Matt (Matt), Monday, 3 July 2006 18:53 (fifteen years ago) link
― zocor online, Wednesday, 12 July 2006 07:29 (fifteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 13 July 2006 13:54 (fifteen years ago) link
― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 13 July 2006 14:18 (fifteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 13 July 2006 17:59 (fifteen years ago) link
― creare pagina web, Friday, 14 July 2006 00:43 (fifteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 July 2006 00:55 (fifteen years ago) link
― HH, Saturday, 15 July 2006 09:07 (fifteen years ago) link
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 21 June 2009 23:22 (twelve years ago) link
If I recall correctly, I was suffering the symptoms of false pregnancy when I wrote this. Or was it acne? One forgets so many things at my age.
― Aimless, Sunday, 5 July 2009 03:43 (twelve years ago) link