Rilke consults Dr. Freud

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Scene: Vienna, the consultation room of Dr. Freud. Late afternoon.
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Freud: So, Herr Rilke, what brings you to see me?

Rilke: I am afraid you will laugh, Herr Doktor.

Freud: Ah! (Writes a brief note.) Very interesting.

Rilke: What? What is so interesting?

Freud: I wrote a book about laughter. A very interesting book I might add.

Rilke: Oh.

Freud: I think I have a copy of it around here somewhere. I could loan it to you.

Rilke: No! No! Do not bother yourself.

Freud: (Rummages through a pile of books) It is no bother.

Rilke: I do not want to read your book.

Freud: (Stops rummaging.) You don't?

Rilke: No. Upon my honor.

Freud: (Sulks) Very well. I wouldn't dream of forcing you.

Rilke: Wouldn't dream! Ha ha!

Freud: What is so funny? Of course I wouldn't make you read my book.

Rilke: (Wipes a tear away. Composes self.) No, I don't suppose you would.

Freud: Don't be silly. Now, how can I help you?

Rilke: It's nothing, really.

Freud: Ah! (Makes another note.)

Rilke: I wish you'd quit doing that.

Freud: Continue. What would you like me to quit doing?

Rilke: Saying "Ah!" and writing like that.

Freud: Did I say "ah"? I can't recall.

Rilke: You did. Most definitely.

Freud: I see. (Writes another note.)

Rilke: It's my feet, actually.

Freud: Your feet?

Rilke: Why I came to see you.

Freud: Ah! (Frowns.) I am sorry. I said "ah" again.

Rilke: (Nods acknowledgement, very formally.) Herr Doktor.

Freud: About your feet then.

Rilke: Yes. I find I cannot transcend them. Perhaps, if I explain.

Freud: By all means, do.

Rilke: I have long wished to transcend this material plane, this tawdry existence, this petty round of love, suffering and death.

Freud: Continue.

Rilke: (Irritated). I was going to. I was merely pausing for effect.

Freud: Pardon. Go on then. "This tawdry existence" you were saying.

Rilke: (Sighs) I have bunions.

Freud: And you wish to transcend them?

Rilke: Yes. I yearn to. I die to. I despair of them. But it's quite impossible you see. They hurt like the dickens.

Freud: (Writes again. Tears a sheet from his notebook and extends it.) This man can remove them for you. He is a podiatrist. Highly recommended. He tends the Emperor Franz Josef's feet.

Rilke: I don't think you understand. I wish to transcend them, not remove them.

Freud: Don't be nuts.

Rilke: (Crams hat on head and goes to the door. Turns.) I knew you would laugh.

Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 1 August 2005 20:09 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Marx and Hegel Go Shopping for Clothes

Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 1 August 2005 21:46 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

Montaigne grows a moustache

Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 1 August 2005 21:47 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...
Nietzsche has aquired an Estwing. 22oz., straight claw.

Be afraid...Be very afraid...

Zen Clown, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 09:11 (thirteen years ago) Permalink

nine months pass...
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Shifty McShift, Tuesday, 6 June 2006 00:42 (twelve years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...
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usaa insurance, Saturday, 1 July 2006 21:45 (twelve years ago) Permalink

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Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 1 July 2006 23:18 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I'm a big fan of the "Greetings!" I like my spambots cheery.

Matt (Matt), Monday, 3 July 2006 18:53 (twelve years ago) Permalink

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zocor online, Wednesday, 12 July 2006 07:29 (twelve years ago) Permalink

I feel defiled. This is becoming habitual with me.

Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 13 July 2006 13:54 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Should we refile you under 'H', then, Aimless?

M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 13 July 2006 14:18 (twelve years ago) Permalink

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Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 13 July 2006 17:59 (twelve years ago) Permalink

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Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 July 2006 00:55 (twelve years ago) Permalink

Hameless Elf Promotion

HH, Saturday, 15 July 2006 09:07 (twelve years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

O_O

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 21 June 2009 23:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

If I recall correctly, I was suffering the symptoms of false pregnancy when I wrote this. Or was it acne? One forgets so many things at my age.

Aimless, Sunday, 5 July 2009 03:43 (nine years ago) Permalink


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