how do you tell a squirrel "those are my nuts"

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and they ain't for no damn stealth rodent to gnaw on.

maybe there is no easy way. but always best to saw off a limb before you break bad news (yours or theirs -- either way). takes the edge off.

a lot of people up here try to say that squirrels are not rodents. to hell with them. "same procedure as last year," says i. saw his fuckin' leg off (or yours). in the end it doesn't matter anyway. you can't *really* test tensile strength without tearing limbs off.

bugs their fuckin' eyes out i'll tell you.

hurley (hurley), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Stealth rodent? How did you find out about this? I'm afraid we're going to have to debrief you.

Super Secret Agent (Hereward), Thursday, 13 January 2005 16:24 (seventeen years ago) link

He'll enjoy that.

In answer to the original question: politely.

Matt (Matt), Thursday, 13 January 2005 18:39 (seventeen years ago) link

To Dutch squirrels, for example:

Die zijn mijn noten. Gelieve te begaan zelfmoord

Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 13 January 2005 18:44 (seventeen years ago) link


eek, Monday, 17 January 2005 17:40 (seventeen years ago) link


eek, Monday, 17 January 2005 17:41 (seventeen years ago) link

You say "choo-chacha-choo-choo-chaa-chaa"

which is Squirrelese for "Get away from my nut ya filthy rodent"

Heave Ho, Wednesday, 19 January 2005 14:31 (seventeen years ago) link


That's Stoatish youre quoting there and you just told the archbishop to fetch your crotchless (sic).

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 17:31 (seventeen years ago) link

You know, Michael, when you first stumbled into this forum, I suspected that you were, in reality, a sober person trying to "pass".

Your last post causes me to have doubt.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 20 January 2005 08:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Heave Ho, obviously, is a raving maniac.

I miss Linkey. (Cel? Could you TRY to wake him up?)

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Thursday, 20 January 2005 08:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Heave might very well be merely another fetishist with a penchant for men of the cloth. Not like that's weird or anything. He might just be referring to a crotchless tree or staff.

Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 20 January 2005 18:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Barbie dolls are crotchless, you know. Somehow, I find that strangely perverse.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 21 January 2005 02:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Damn whomever started this "crotch" business.

Here in the wilds of west-central Missouri, we have what some people call "crotchless trees". Others, lacking imagination, refer to them as "telephone poles".

The squirrels don't give a rat's ass about any of this. They are very smug about the whole thing.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Friday, 21 January 2005 03:27 (seventeen years ago) link

three years pass...

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