* shot of several arms protruding from flood water, each hand clasping an empty beer bottle. Pull back to reveal miles of uninterrupted flooding on every side *
Emergency services say there is nothing they can do, without breaking their Solemn Oath never to help the Unworthy.
* shot of fire and ambulance crews sitting round a table, playing cards and laughing uproariously *
With no sign of a let-up in the torrential downpour –
* cut to reporter talking to camera in luxurious jacuzzi, surrounded by bottles of champagne and girls from Sunday Sport *
it’s hard to see how any human beings can survive in the isolated, tragic community known as Ask A Drunk.
* Shot of Lynskey in pouring rain and darkness, clinging grimly to a fence post as the waters lap around his armpits *
Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!!! [sounds of watery sexual congress]
― Rex (Rex), Saturday, 16 November 2002 13:37 (nineteen years ago) link
― Weebleman (StillSimon), Saturday, 16 November 2002 14:45 (nineteen years ago) link
― Pooster (pooster), Friday, 22 November 2002 01:52 (nineteen years ago) link
Why, look at how many people embrace the bagpipes, figuratively and literally. With the likes of them running loose in the streets, feeling touched by the pathos of Piglet and Eeyore puts you positively among the common ruck.
― Aimless, Friday, 22 November 2002 05:09 (nineteen years ago) link
― Matt (Matt), Monday, 25 November 2002 01:51 (nineteen years ago) link
― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Friday, 11 April 2003 11:08 (nineteen years ago) link
― Pooster (pooster), Saturday, 12 April 2003 09:01 (nineteen years ago) link
― Pooster (pooster), Saturday, 12 April 2003 09:44 (nineteen years ago) link
Water scares me and scarey shit makes me wet.
― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Saturday, 12 April 2003 13:16 (nineteen years ago) link
― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Sunday, 13 April 2003 14:07 (nineteen years ago) link
It’s horrible. I try not to look.
But it lives in my bathroom, in a thing called ‘the mirror’.
Why, I was in there just a moment ago, and – aaarrrgghhh!!
― Rex (Rex), Sunday, 13 April 2003 23:31 (nineteen years ago) link
― Weebleman (StillSimon), Monday, 14 April 2003 19:53 (nineteen years ago) link
― Rex (Rex), Monday, 14 April 2003 23:27 (nineteen years ago) link
― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 01:19 (nineteen years ago) link
― C J (C J), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 03:04 (nineteen years ago) link
― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 10:58 (nineteen years ago) link
Going back to the saddest sight in the world - this surely has to be a very old person eating ice cream on Shanklin Beach. In the winter. In the rain. Alone. And crying. :(
― C J (C J), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 14:25 (nineteen years ago) link
― Rex (Rex), Tuesday, 15 April 2003 23:41 (nineteen years ago) link
― Wouldn't you like to know (Amused), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 08:08 (nineteen years ago) link
― C J (C J), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 08:15 (nineteen years ago) link
What about an old man alone in the Greyhound, on Christmas day morning, sobbing in his pint of bitter along to "Angels" by Robbie Williams?
― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 09:16 (nineteen years ago) link
I'm in love with Robbie Williams. Have I mentioned that before at all?
― C J (C J), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 09:20 (nineteen years ago) link
― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 13:19 (nineteen years ago) link
― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 16 April 2003 14:17 (nineteen years ago) link
It was HORRIBLE. When Lynskey and Cel got to the pub Robin and I were very grateful for the validation: "SEE? we're out with FRIENDS!"
― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 23 April 2003 02:17 (nineteen years ago) link
The saddest sight in the world? Any man wearing a girdle.
― Aimless, Sunday, 30 September 2007 04:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Not so sad sight = man wearing a griddle.
― C J, Tuesday, 20 April 2010 13:35 (twelve years ago) link
You came all this way to tell us that? God bless you, CJ. You are the sweetness of the world.
Now, about wearing griddles. Clearly, the head is the appropriate placement, as you need to keep it balanced. Duct-taping a griddle to one's heinie is only acceptable in cases of impending attack.
Given this imperative of cranial emplacement, allow me to recommend a much finer alternative: a skillet. It may, in a pinch, serve the same purposes as a griddle (less capaciously, perhaps, but adequately) and, if inverted, is more stylish.
Please note: for the sake of safety, the handle should extend behind one's head, rather than protrude frowardly. I do not know about you folks, but few of my friends or acquaintance are in the habit of wearing goggles, and with the well-known tendencies of Askadrunkites to pitch forward unexpectedly, their eyesight could be imperiled.
Assuming you have any friends or acquaintance. (CJ being excepted here as an obviously well-socialized being.)
― Aimless, Tuesday, 20 April 2010 18:00 (twelve years ago) link
I have a solution to the eye-stabbing handle problem : the wok. Stylish protective headwear, emergency drinking vessel and hard-wearing frisbee all rolled into one.
― C J, Wednesday, 21 April 2010 12:22 (twelve years ago) link
if pushed, I prefer a reasonable stockpot, I'm less inclined to favour unreasonable ones, of course. As you were.
― matt, Saturday, 12 June 2010 23:34 (eleven years ago) link
"Does anyone know anything about blubbleblubbleblubble [*gasp*] blubble"
absolutely, I do! I would require an enema first before I could discuss it with you though.
― Vicbowling, Thursday, 8 July 2010 22:47 (eleven years ago) link
who wouldn't? oh, me
― matt, Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:15 (eleven years ago) link
With friends like you, who needs enemas?
― A Reclaimer Hewn With (Michael White), Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:20 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.soundproofmagazine.com/images/articles/1688/BOTB_Zooey_Katy_main.jpg
― 'wich house (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:25 (eleven years ago) link
seems only reasonable
― matt, Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:28 (eleven years ago) link
I'm rather fond of the Deschanel lady. Ms Perry should be left in the cold at one of the poles, north or south, I can't remember.
― A Reclaimer Hewn With (Michael White), Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:31 (eleven years ago) link
either's fine
― matt, Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:35 (eleven years ago) link
Where, btw, is the West Pole?
― A Reclaimer Hewn With (Michael White), Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:36 (eleven years ago) link
I believe it's in the west
― matt, Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:53 (eleven years ago) link