Is this list dead?

But how shall it be wakened - as a sleeping princess in a fairy story is wakened by the kiss of her true love, her prince? As a child that has fallen asleep in the car on the way home from a picnic is wakened by its mother, so it may rub its eyes and ascend the steps of its dearly beloved home? As an innocent fawn is wakened by the nudging nose of its parent who has stood guard over it all night?

NO!

Those methods would not work for Ask A Drunk. Instead, you must treat it the same way as a foot that has fallen asleep and has become as insensate chunk of firewood - you must whack it on the floor, slap it, punch it, pinch it, and hurl epithets of abuse at its inert form. In time Ask A Drunk shall awaken, hurting with a fire like a thousand probing needles through its flesh.

Then and only then you shall hear again the delightful sound of Dude Steel whittling his fingers in a pencil sharpener to see if he can write in his own blood a newer, more catacylsmic ending to Moby Dick.

You taught me a new word and as I am wont to do with new words, I am inclined to brandish it like a newly forged sword.

BTW: I have a blog now. Dude Steel helped me set it up. I suspect his motive was to distract me from my incessant posting of inane, asinine utterances of idiocy on the forums that we share.

At any rate, (and you'll have to ask Greenspan what that is) here is my blog:

http://zenclownblog.blogspot.com/

(Waddiya think, Jacob?)

JB's silence is rivaled only by that of Charles Bukowski (1920-1994) who coined the term "ask a drunk" and whose non-participation can be attributed to the fact that he is quite dead. Jacob, apparently, is too immersed in his studies and a large bag of potato chips to be bothered with silliness such as this.

*blushes furiously*

I came here dying of thirst and who gave me water? The Brits! I stood on the beach at Dunkirk and who strapped buckets to their feet and walked across the channel to rescue me? The Brits! Who invented a clock that enabled seagoers to seek out strange new worlds and new civilizations without falling off of the edge? A Brit! Who rallied the British nation to follow an insane American warmonger to invade a small defenseless country and...well...nevermind that one. Who fills the stands to watch a cricket match, a game that the majority of the world finds totally pointless? The Brits!

I could go on and on if I could think of anything. You see? I am at my "wit's end" as it were, whereas someone like Rex could pick up these thoughts and run towards that infinite horizon known to lessor minds as "British Humor".

Rally your countrymen, Matthew. Ask a Drunk is assembled on the shore of a literary Dunkirk and instead of Hitler's army, it is apathy and mediocrity that approach from the east.

RALLY, you Brits! Rally in the name of England and the Queen! Remember the immortal words of Winston Churchill..."We have nothing to fear but sobriety..."

I, like Al Capp, like breasts. Big ones.

Oh, and Bob Dylan.

Breasts and Bob Dylan.

The very thought causes quivers.

The more things change, the more confused I get, which represents a kind of stability, I suppose.

A pleasurable, positive inertia, of sorts

Yay to incessant posting of inane, asinine utterances of idiocy! Drunk history is the Best! See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK3ZyA5mC30&feature=fvw Personally, I'm looking forward to the drunk history of the enema because I know it's something that we all want to learn more about.

time passes slow on the plush stools of ormskirk. zen clown, sue denim, dude, linskey: i'll gather a few laurel leaves to cast upon the wind. (sorry, it's the curry.)

etc, etc, hurley

korma chameleon

etc

Careful, the beast within quivers and snores loudly.

*Hiccup*

You had better have a drink for that Hiccup.

We traditionalists spell it: hiccough. The reasons for this are lost in the mists of time, but dammit, traditions must be honored! That is why I am drinking this bumper of mead.

Is that a '57 Buick bumper?

That's a lot of mead, but I'm sure you are up to the challenge!

..... and since you are drinking mead .... wouldn't it be "lost in the mysts of tyme"?