Drive by in the low ride, Hands high when we fly by

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Life is hard in the Hood. Here in downtown Ormskirk we are awash with dealers, squealers and midnite feelers. It's a rough tough homey-fest where no one is safe.

At least, not me. Tonight I was the victim of a cold hearted drive-by. These wiggaZ in their dad's 1.4 Polo slowed down as they passed me on a walk back from Jim's house where I'd been discussing advanced computer game tactics (word) and pelted me with a .5 caliber egg which struck me about the EYYYYEEEEZZZZZ.

What is the world coming to? Hopefully its coming to Robin's house for tea. He's got Tuna steaks.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Here in Erewhon, we had a drive-by shouting the other night.

La! It's getting to be where a decent, shifty-eyed, humped-over furtive-looking individual can't lurk about or even, as it seems, slink home without some sort of an 'incident'.

My daughter won't eat tuna. She thinks it has dolfins in it.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 23:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I would just like in all seriousness to express my shock and outrage at this incident before this thread descends into the ineivitable maelstrom of egg puns.

Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 23:45 (eighteen years ago) link

So, how eggciting was it?

Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 20 May 2003 23:45 (eighteen years ago) link

(Jim egged me on to do this)

Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

S'okay. I called out a Facesmith. Only cost me 250 quid.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 01:04 (eighteen years ago) link

That is eggxcatilly what I would have done.

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 02:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh, Jeeze, where is the eggsit? I think I shell leave now...

Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 02:32 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm sorry you were subjected to such a senseless and brutal attack, Lynskey, but you should be glad it was only an egg they chucked at you. Imagine how much worse it would have been if they had thrown tomatoes? Those tins really hurt.

C J (C J), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 05:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I can think of worse things, angry live lobsters, Goldfinger-esque death pizza Frisbee. All very horrible.

This thread is getting out of hand, I would get the moderator to lock it, if it weren’t for the fact that Matt would probably fork out £500 to reverse the process.

Robin (RJM), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 07:22 (eighteen years ago) link

s'Ok, i've spent £6 millin to have you killed where you sit.

Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 09:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Matt's spendthrift habits update: quick call to slum landlord resulted in full and massive reimbursement. Am now off to buy celebratory eggs.

Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 10:02 (eighteen years ago) link

I remember the good old days when you you could just sit around millin'; none of this nasty ovulation chucking and vastly overpriced locksmithery.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 10:11 (eighteen years ago) link

I have long since stopped mocking your typos Jim, kindly ceas.

Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:17 (eighteen years ago) link

But the cheap shots are the best.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 12:41 (eighteen years ago) link

You mean like throwing eggs at lonely drunks on their way home?

Robin (RJM), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 13:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Tell me more about this slum landlord with six million quid to spare. I find myself irresistibly drawn to him.

C J (C J), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 14:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Believe me, he's not really that eggsotic. A cluckman rather than a Rachman.
Do you prefer scrambled or fried?


Weebleman (StillSimon), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 19:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Scotch. Your move.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 21 May 2003 22:35 (eighteen years ago) link


I'm here to throw down the low down on these Ho clowns.

Not a show down or a go down but here to thicken what your picken.

You see the reason for the teasin' is that cool Spring season.

Think of whats happnin' not pop-cappin' just try not to sicken

Cause an eggs just an underage chicken.


MC еdë §téè£, Thursday, 22 May 2003 00:54 (eighteen years ago) link

I feel violated

Robin (RJM), Thursday, 22 May 2003 06:31 (eighteen years ago) link

I was just cruisin by in my fly hoopty and felt the need to let the flow go.

Better to feel violated than to feel violated on.......

Peace Out.

еdë §téè£, Thursday, 22 May 2003 23:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah Robin, you're always flowin in your fly hoopty, don't be hatin' on him. Or something.

Matt (Matt), Friday, 23 May 2003 06:31 (eighteen years ago) link

four years pass...

Here's How We Ride

Heave Ho, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Damn, look at the ass on that girl!

Michael White, Wednesday, 12 September 2007 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Talk about a wild ride.......

еdë §téè£, Friday, 21 September 2007 00:49 (fourteen years ago) link

four months pass...

Embarchie, Monday, 28 January 2008 00:59 (thirteen years ago) link

The gimp mask of my dreams......

еdë §téè£, Monday, 28 January 2008 01:03 (thirteen years ago) link

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