Lynskey's new green Paddington Coat...

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… has been compromised by THE RUSSIANS!!

It may look utterly inoffensive to you (unlike the rest of Lynskey’s clothing, not to mention its contents) but in fact it is actively working towards the destruction of All We Hold Most Dear!

While Lynskey is asleep (i.e. during the day) his new green Paddington Coat WRIGGLES out through the catflap and SKULKS around Ormskirk Market taking notes on anything that might prove useful to a HOSTILE POWER!!!

No, I’m sorry, gentlemen, I know you’re all very fond of it and like to stroke it and fondle it and send it little presents and so forth, but Lynskey’s coat is going to have to be BURNED and SHREDDED and NAPALMED and GARROTTED and KILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m looking for a volunteer…

Rex (Rex), Sunday, 16 March 2003 23:33 (nineteen years ago) link

… and it’s you, Parker!

Rex (Rex), Sunday, 16 March 2003 23:33 (nineteen years ago) link

I've just told him he has to. He's in a world of indecision. Pacing around asking "why? why me? why now? why this task?". The moral dilemmas of Jimmy look set to keep me amused for at least a day.

Matt (Matt), Monday, 17 March 2003 00:48 (nineteen years ago) link

ß àáñîëþòíî îòðèöàþ, ÷òî åñòü ÷òî - òî íå òàê ñ ìîèì íîâûì ïàëüòî è ñïðàøèâàòü Âàñ ê ïîåäèíêó. Ðåàëüíûé.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 17 March 2003 01:37 (nineteen years ago) link

So the Waitrose Oracle has spoken, too many years I have been exiled from my home land of Aughton, driven insane by the jealous Swifty, Queen of the Gods leading to the death of my sisters hamster by my very own hands.

I accept this labour of Jarlculese, now where's that lighter?

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 17 March 2003 15:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Just buy one for fuck's sake you cheap bastard.

Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 01:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Or nick mine. That seems to be going well for everybody.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 19 March 2003 14:32 (nineteen years ago) link

before giving the jacket what it so richly deserves, please carefully check all the pockets for any loose change, any video from the "lost season" of blake's seven, and osama bin laden. fancy a wispa??

hurley (hurley), Thursday, 20 March 2003 14:37 (nineteen years ago) link

sorry I'm late, but Rex surely you meant "and it's you Parka"?

Weebleman (StillSimon), Friday, 21 March 2003 22:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh, don’t be such an Anorak.

Rex (Rex), Saturday, 22 March 2003 12:04 (nineteen years ago) link

sTop tHat and Tails me something more interesting.

Lynskey (Lynskey), Saturday, 22 March 2003 13:46 (nineteen years ago) link

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