I hate coffee

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Humans are supposed to have an aversion to things that a bitter and taste like shit.
So why would you want to drink something like this all the time at grossly inflated prices?

Oh, so you can look cool in front of your mates. http://unfunf.netfirms.com/cool.gif

webber (webber), Sunday, 4 May 2003 00:15 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i don't drink coffee. i like the taste of it but the caffeine is too much for my wussy self. if i'm in a cafe, i'll drink earl grey tea.

di smith (lucylurex), Sunday, 4 May 2003 00:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Isn't it to pretend you are grown up? I thought that was the deal with coffee. It sucks anyway.

Fergus Noodle (Fergus Noodle), Sunday, 4 May 2003 01:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Humans are supposed to have an aversion to things that a bitter and taste like shit.
So why would you want to drink something like this all the time at grossly inflated prices?

Yeah, why do people drink bee. . . oh, right, coffee.

Ess Kay (esskay), Sunday, 4 May 2003 07:09 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

lolz
beer is cheaper than coffee

webber (webber), Sunday, 4 May 2003 07:19 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I have drunk maybe three cups of coffee in my life, mostly to keep myself up late in order to write essays. Nowadays I drink Milo with half a teaspoon of instant coffee - yes, I am 24. But also, what Ess Kay said.

Damian (Damian), Sunday, 4 May 2003 07:40 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Gosh haven't I been blind. Thanks, guys.

Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 4 May 2003 09:42 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I like tea. Am I cool or what?

Livvie (Livvie), Sunday, 4 May 2003 10:11 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

it depends whether its like earl grey or something italian.
if you cant pronounce it with a nz accent then you are annoying cool http://unfunf.netfirms.com/cool.gif.

additionally if you take milk you are incorrect.

webber (webber), Monday, 5 May 2003 00:04 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It's Bell tea as far as I know, or whatever my mum puts in the tea jar thing at the time.

Livvie (Livvie), Monday, 5 May 2003 06:46 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hey Guys, I dunno bout you... but I'm down with the Dr. Pepper!

Lola Falana, Monday, 5 May 2003 07:36 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hot Dr Pepper?

Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 5 May 2003 11:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

No, not hot... but there IS a first time for everything right? As for hot drinks, I would have to say that I actually just prefer hot water with lemon and honey 'cause I can't stand coffee, but I'm not really into tea either.

Lola Falana, Monday, 5 May 2003 14:46 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Hot Dr Pepper?

I was going to make this exact same joke.

Livvie Tapper (Livvie), Monday, 5 May 2003 22:04 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Coffee makes me wanna hurl just from the smell.
and in case you didn't know: BEER GETS YOU DRUNK

buttch (Oops), Monday, 5 May 2003 22:44 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Beer, coffee, Dr. Pepper, 101 Wild Turkey, it all sounds good to me... but Earl Grey? God, I think that tastes like sanitizer solution... I drink half of it, and want to soak my dishes in the other half over night. I'd rather have the English Tea Time, or Bigelow "Sweet Dreams" herbal tea... that's good stuff

The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 02:30 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

Webber, you wouldn't say that if you lived in a city where you could get decent coffee anywhere in it. Today i went to Rocket Ham East on Simon's day off and the coffee was foul foul foul, burnt and treacly. Good coffee is strongly aromatic and bitter like dark chocolate or almonds, not like cigarette ash in petrified mud. Milk and sugar will completely knee the aroma in the balls, leaving you with milky syrupy petrified mud.

Pak n Save doesn't sell Lipton lime & ginseing herbal tea anymore, i am sad.

petra jane (petra jane), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 07:01 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

i like coffee:( maybe i'm a bitter person?!HOHOHO!>:|| EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
:/

jonathan gittins (nevermind^), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 09:33 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

yorkshire tea is the only tea:P earl grey has no taste:/

jonathan gittins (nevermind^), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 09:36 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

earl grey has a lovely taste, and it is heavenly with soy milk.

di smith (lucylurex), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 10:01 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

:/ nah, earl grey's not my...'cup of tea' :/ maybes tetley, but yorkshire is definately the best. but starbucks coffee made at home pwns tea

jonathan gittins (nevermind^), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 10:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

hobnob biscuits are nice to dunk in tea:)

jonathan gittins (nevermind^), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 10:25 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

I don't drink enough tea anymore... probably because I don't work in a fine dining restaurant any longer and can't snag a box to take home with me.... hehehe

The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 15:28 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

It's because all people are pre-disposed to subconciously hate themselves because they are all idiots. And yes, I include myself in this category.

Nick Heard, Tuesday, 6 May 2003 22:01 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

'scuse beef?

jonathan gittins (nevermind^), Friday, 9 May 2003 14:48 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

if you dont like coffee, then dont drink it. And until the 'they' regulate anphedimines into a rich a delightful bitter drink ill stick with 10 cups of coffee a day.

bmarshall, Monday, 12 May 2003 21:12 (fifteen years ago) Permalink

four years pass...

do any of these people still post to ilx?

gershy, Friday, 14 March 2008 03:12 (ten years ago) Permalink

Caffeine deficiency slowed them down so much that they all got run over by a bus.

libcrypt, Friday, 14 March 2008 05:35 (ten years ago) Permalink

no one hates coffee

jelky, Friday, 14 March 2008 05:43 (ten years ago) Permalink

i like to mate

PappaWheelie V, Sunday, 16 March 2008 03:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

i think i hate it now

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:12 (nine years ago) Permalink

i like the name "fergus noodle" though

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

yr doing it rong

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

no one hates coffee

― jelky, Friday, March 14, 2008 5:43 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

it's true i don't know how to make it anymore, it always tastes like acid it's disgusting please help

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

i fill the coffeemaker up to the 8

4 regular scoops, 2 heaping scoops

i think the scoop holds a tablespoon? will check.

this makes 4 cups. use this same ratio when i make less coffee

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:18 (nine years ago) Permalink

thanks mr que but i don't think i can even learn

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

no you can - i have faith

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

you need coffee

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

nothing makes me distrust people more than when they don't like coffee--i can even (barely) forgive someone for not liking Creedence, but coffee. . .??

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

i don't really like creedence mr que i mean it's ok it's just not me

i like coffee if someone else makes it but that gets kind of $$$

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

okay i'm going to take a deep breath here and reevaluate

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

one mistake was this week i got 8 o'clock garbage coffee and it's like ground up pennies or something, but it was bad before that

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

oh geez--do you mean chock full of nuts? my #1 piece of advice=buy the very best coffee you can afford. like buy the shit that smells like drugs. it should be a rich blackish color, not pale brown maxwell house shit

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

i fill the coffeemaker up to the 8

4 regular scoops, 2 heaping scoops

That's some strong coffee!

Also, can even (barely) forgive someone for not liking Creedence, but coffee. . .?? = LOL

Noooo! Cats are not for eating!!! (ENBB), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

ugh i wanna die

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

i like irish coffee

velko, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

it's strong, but not too strong. no one has ever complained (besides mother in law, who just jokes about it). it's not bitter, either.

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

i like strong, black, not acidic, chocolaty-ish

fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

i get compliments all the time, when people drink my coffee

Mr. Que, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 15:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

Although I'm currently going through Fresh Direct's Breakfast Blend, whatever that is.

lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Saturday, 2 March 2013 23:17 (five years ago) Permalink

"this velvety brew balances dark-roasted Ethiopian beans (known for chocolatey, berry flavors) with a lighter roast of smooth Costa Rican beans" apparently.

lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Saturday, 2 March 2013 23:18 (five years ago) Permalink

generally speaking "velvety" is an adjective I look for when buying coffee, as opposed to "floral" or "citrus". I think darker roasts when done poorly can taste a bit ashen but when done well can be as smooth as a good light roast. worst coffee I've had in recent memory was the scalding hot piss they serve at a very popular place a couple blocks from me. Dark or light? Could not tell.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Sunday, 3 March 2013 02:33 (five years ago) Permalink

seven months pass...

Ooooeee Bustelo espresso grind is a leeeetle bit stronger than any other coffee I've ever made before.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Sunday, 20 October 2013 14:42 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

kinda hate the coffee i make right now. i can't go back to french press though. it takes too long in the morning and i'm already suffering chronic lateness.

single white hairball (harbl), Saturday, 9 November 2013 13:31 (five years ago) Permalink

i think maybe i need a bean change

single white hairball (harbl), Saturday, 9 November 2013 13:33 (five years ago) Permalink

describe your current coffee routine

乒乓, Saturday, 9 November 2013 13:56 (five years ago) Permalink

whole foods french roast
cheap blade grinder
cuisinart auto drip maker
grind an amount larger than the max fill line while rotating the grinder for evenness
dump in the thing
water up to 8-9 "cup" line

single white hairball (harbl), Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:01 (five years ago) Permalink

probably using too much coffee idk

single white hairball (harbl), Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:02 (five years ago) Permalink

i just don't trust all those lines

single white hairball (harbl), Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:02 (five years ago) Permalink

Those lines are hard to trust

乒乓, Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:03 (five years ago) Permalink

I need to do something about my coffee game too but first I need to stop using Cafe Bustelo espresso grind in my french press.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:04 (five years ago) Permalink

bustelo. i spent a lot of time at HARD TIMES CAFE MN And spend a lot of time at ROCHAMBO here and at MA FISCHERS

color definition point of "beyond "color, eg a transient that, Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:33 (five years ago) Permalink

3cup max 20m @ ma fischer's. 1.59@.90c refills@rochambo. 1$cup/.50ç rfl@mn. im going to rochambo now

color definition point of "beyond "color, eg a transient that, Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:34 (five years ago) Permalink

My friend had an espresso machine at her apt and used the Bustelo and it was SO GOOD (although also "so hot" and "so sweet" so maybe I should try those qualities too). Sadly does not work out the same w my french press.

Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:38 (five years ago) Permalink

The ridiculously cheap totally not fancy Mexican beans we have been using somehow taste pretty good with our espresso machine! I say "our," but it is totally the spouse's baby. I never touch it, I just drink the stuff. We also use milk and sugar so I dunno I'm sure that helps the el-cheapo beans.

quincie, Saturday, 9 November 2013 14:50 (five years ago) Permalink

in orbit, harbl - your respective sitches sound custom-made for the mighty aeropress. trust

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 9 November 2013 21:26 (five years ago) Permalink

gonna buy some nail polish and head over to ROCHAMBNO

color definition point of "beyond "color, eg a transient that, Sunday, 10 November 2013 01:57 (five years ago) Permalink

seven months pass...

I had friends living in Singapore the past few months, they made side trips to Hanoi and Bali and brought me these:

http://i.imgur.com/Xl5VKTx.jpg

I feel like the Vietnamese one on the left is pretty much a scam as it was much cheaper and is very careful to use the word "weasel" a lot without every mentioning that it passed through a civet cat's digestive tract. The Indonesian one was much more expensive, specifically mentions having been shit out by an animal, and was purchased from a place with an actual civet cat on display so it's either a more elaborate scam or is actually real and therefore exploitative to animals.

Either way, I'm going to aeropress one or both of these tomorrow.

joygoat, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 06:01 (four years ago) Permalink

i wd drink that civet cat shit coffee

ⓢⓗⓘⓣ (am0n), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 15:06 (four years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

i think the cuisinart is dead. the thing that keeps coffee from dripping out while the pot is not in the machine is not staying pushed in enough, i think. so it keeps overflowing unless i am vigilant about pushing the pot back into place every 30 seconds. i would like some fancy contraption but i don't have time for that in the morning and don't want to clean it. time for another shitty coffee maker.

flatizza (harbl), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 00:28 (four years ago) Permalink

after i came back from drinking the world's worst coffee for two weeks in georgia and wanted to just quit coffee maybe i will

flatizza (harbl), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 00:29 (four years ago) Permalink

have a pleasant withdrawal

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 00:31 (four years ago) Permalink

cries

flatizza (harbl), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 00:33 (four years ago) Permalink

Faster, hotter, bolder...better. Enjoy the ease of your morning routine with this culture maker on your countertop. With fully programmable settings that let you brew less than a full pot, set a wakeup brew time, control the strength of the brew & more, this coffee maker caters every cup exactly to your liking.

?

flatizza (harbl), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 00:34 (four years ago) Permalink

Thanks to Amazon I can get new coffee socks so I'm going back to my Nel drip

, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 00:37 (four years ago) Permalink

Coffee sock ranks behind only silk stocking milk tea in my all time drinks list

, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 00:47 (four years ago) Permalink

it's possible the coffee machine being broken is all in my head. i can't tell yet. is it dripping more slowly than normal? idk.

flatizza (harbl), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 11:25 (four years ago) Permalink

You could always get a Keurig

, Wednesday, 30 July 2014 11:32 (four years ago) Permalink

NOOOOOOOO

flatizza (harbl), Wednesday, 30 July 2014 11:41 (four years ago) Permalink

harbl I think you'd be into these youtubes of images of coffee makers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68K_wx1cd5k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtoC-HhYGbQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BulocK5aUkY

, Monday, 4 August 2014 18:38 (four years ago) Permalink

cold-brewing in a french press is my new thang

ⓢⓗⓘⓣ (am0n), Monday, 4 August 2014 21:56 (four years ago) Permalink

i love those videos so much 龜

+ that one is mr. coffee, too. i would love a coffee machine i could personify & refer to in the third person in my life.

schlump, Monday, 4 August 2014 23:59 (four years ago) Permalink

great videos

flatizza (harbl), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 00:11 (four years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/xf8FA9a.jpg

, Friday, 31 October 2014 01:05 (four years ago) Permalink

sitting here happily drinking my completely decent pour-over coffee and now subjected to THIS ^^^^^^^ day ruined

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 31 October 2014 12:52 (four years ago) Permalink

Don't waste that garlic sauce!

calstars, Friday, 31 October 2014 13:11 (four years ago) Permalink

Keurig has little hot chocolate pods now, and it comes out really gross. They actually found a way to screw up hot chocolate.

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 31 October 2014 14:06 (four years ago) Permalink

would drink

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 31 October 2014 19:33 (four years ago) Permalink

five months pass...

I never wash my coffee mug either

― 龜, Sunday, April 5, 2015 6:01 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

do you drink it black? otherwise how does it not turn into a sticky disaster?

― the late great, Sunday, April 5, 2015 6:04 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wow who puts shit into their coffee

― 龜, Sunday, April 5, 2015 6:05 PM (2 hours ago)

luv u

computer champion (harbl), Monday, 6 April 2015 00:10 (three years ago) Permalink

:)

As promised here is a pic of my coffee utensils

http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae232/daggerlee/1CED18FB-0B3D-47F1-A836-55ED81EAE176_zpskgdzxc68.jpg

, Monday, 6 April 2015 00:15 (three years ago) Permalink

never wash my moka pot, ur not supposed iirc, it has all those wonderful coffee oils on it

marcos, Monday, 6 April 2015 00:24 (three years ago) Permalink

there are grounds in my coffee, grounds in my coffee

computer champion (harbl), Monday, 6 April 2015 10:32 (three years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

my hario is even more dirty now

, Thursday, 25 June 2015 14:10 (three years ago) Permalink

Re pour-over "systems:" are these noticeably different from, say, a Chemex or one of these?

http://zo-d.com/blog/archives/images/OneCup.gif

Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 25 June 2015 14:19 (three years ago) Permalink

i think the difference comes from the filtering mechanism i.e. is it paper or cloth or metal

, Thursday, 25 June 2015 15:28 (three years ago) Permalink

everything else is just marketing

, Thursday, 25 June 2015 15:29 (three years ago) Permalink


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