The sun has been replaced with rain and clouds, and I believe I have strep
throat. It's not the best of days, but it's not so bad.
I had a panic attack today, first one in weeks and weeks. I was at work,
sitting at my desk, about to go for lunch. I wasn't thinking catastrophic
thoughts just prior; it just happened. I was actually dialing my boyfriend's
number, and just after he answered I told him I'd call him back and hung up.
I could have just told him what was happening and he would've dropped
everything, but I don't like to be a bother. Besides, it's hard to think
straight when one is panicking. The most interesting part was that it only
lasted about a minute, literally. I was a little shaky for a few seconds
after, then that was it: all over. I even managed to go about the rest of my
day quite normally, eat lunch and read the newspaper and everything. Which
My psychologist is going away on holiday next week, and I'm away on holiday
the week after, so yesterday was my last session for a couple of weeks. It
went fairly well; he didn't try imagery with me yet, but it's something he
definitely wants to have a go at. I'm willing, but don't feel ready yet. I
think he could sense that and that's why he held off yesterday. Maybe in 2
weeks I'll be ready, who knows.
By the way, other than the inevitable antibiotics (GP appt tomorrow!), what
can I do for my poor throat? I'm tired of lozenges - they all taste bad by
now and are too sugary. Warm water with salt never works for me. Popsicles
work well but again are too much sugar. I feel like I'm swallowing razor
― I am Robocop, Sunday, 24 June 2007 08:08 (thirteen years ago) link
...Or so the doc says.
I went to see my GP today and it was one of those 'pat on the head' visits,
as I knew it would be! He looked in my ears, down my throat, listened to my
breathing and said things looked "suspect" but "nothing is infected" (this
is supposed to make me feel better?) so he "can't do anything". He told me
to get lots of sleep this weekend. That's it. Meanwhile, my throat is
killing me, my ears feel plugged, and my left sinuses are blocked solid.
I'm sorry, but I'm so tired of hearing that. It took about 4 visits before
he was willing to give me any help whatsoever with the IBS; at first he kept
telling me "it's just stress" or it's "just your panic" and not to worry
(!). Later, he wanted me to keep a food diary to know which foods triggered
flare-ups and said to "just avoid them" and I'd feel better. (Doesn't he
think I know by now which foods bother me? And that I obviously don't eat
them when I'm having a flare-up?) Well, it's been over a month since then,
and the only thing that's helped the IBS is CBT and a prescription for
Dicetel (so much for food diaries). I understand (and actually appreciate)
that he's not big on pill-pushing, because just being handed a prescription
right off the bat isn't so fantastic either. But either way, I feel he's not
really listening to me.
I don't think he does it on purpose; I am young and otherwise quite healthy.
But still. I may be young, but I know my body. I can usually tell if
something's going to develop into an infection or something more serious
than a common cold. The whole take-two-asprins-and-call-me-in-the-morning
approach is wearing thin.
Sorry for the rant. I don't feel so terrible that I can't function, but I
took the day off work anyways, to conserve energy. I read the newspapers,
took a bath, made a big vat of soup, and had naps all day :)
― I am Robocop, Sunday, 24 June 2007 08:10 (thirteen years ago) link
Ok, Gosh...... where do I start?
First of all, I had finally plucked up enough courage and determination to
drive to my appointment...... and I get out unlock the car, get in, belt
up...... and the bloody thing wouldn't start!!!! I tried at least 10
times.... but it just wouldn't kick over (this is not helping my nerves any
at this point)........ although, it's a good thing I was 30mins early. So I
went back inside and called a taxi.
Then I arrive at what I think is the Community Centre, walk inside (after a
quick smoke to calm me), and I am faced with over 20 little old ladies
sitting down playing Bingo!!! (I might like to add here that I just wanted
to run right away...... I can't do this!)
Then a lady walks up to me n I ask her where I can find Ken (my nurse).....
she is friendly enough, and shows me where I have to go...... (I went to the
Finally, I'm in the waiting room....... my mind is ticking over, (I don't
know for sure if I should be here or not... What do I tell this bloke
anyways? ra ra ra!) I can feel that headache..... it's just pounding by now
and I want to get home.
Then I meet Ken, he is a middle aged man, with a friendly face. In his
office I surprisingly feel relaxed, and I can feel my headache subsiding
(altho, I know it is still there - just not as bad now). We have a chat for
a while about everything on my mind..... Ken reassures me that I'm not
crazy!!! (I know this now - I mean, REALLY KNOW IT).
I have a few things to read and a questionaire to fill out, and I have
another appointment to see him on the 21st May. (Piece of cake ;) - I hope)
So, all in all, I think I did pretty well.
Well, there you go guys....... That was my day so far! (And it's still not
even lunch time - What will my afternoon be like???)
Thanks for your support.........
― I am Robocop, Sunday, 24 June 2007 08:12 (thirteen years ago) link
― Dom Passantino, Sunday, 24 June 2007 21:27 (thirteen years ago) link
― gr8080, Monday, 25 June 2007 08:24 (thirteen years ago) link
This is a slept-on thread.
― Dom Passantino, Monday, 31 December 2007 15:54 (thirteen years ago) link
he asked me to post this:
― banriquit, Thursday, 27 March 2008 17:17 (thirteen years ago) link
i am a wombat
― chaki, Thursday, 27 March 2008 17:23 (thirteen years ago) link
Louis Jagger (Cambridge) wrote
haha someone who i'm sure can't see your wall posted that two minutes later, news spreads fast eh
Wall-to-Wall - Write on Louis's Wall - Message - Delete
― banriquit, Thursday, 27 March 2008 17:24 (thirteen years ago) link
LJ JUST COME BACK ALREADY SHEESH
― chaki, Thursday, 27 March 2008 17:27 (thirteen years ago) link
is he coming back??
― velko, Saturday, 7 November 2009 16:59 (eleven years ago) link
it's kinda scary thinking that he knows how to drive, unless the stuff above in this thread is fake.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 18:06 (eleven years ago) link
― сверх (nakhchivan), Friday, 29 April 2016 10:54 (five years ago) link