L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

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http://i.imgur.com/AiwOUIW.jpg

I know what you're thinking: House like this is going to look like a steak house on the inside, right?

http://i.imgur.com/KwizWJz.jpg

You would be absolutely correct.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:51 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/MJTABtU.jpg

Nothing puts me more in my comfort zone than sitting on this folding chair, working at my awkward desk, breathing in fumes from the clothes dyer on a crisp winter's night.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:52 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/UWQNY8Y.jpg

"Get the fuck out of here, this used to be the garage?"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/RCL5xL2.jpg

"So hows long it been since you got made? Huh? Oh no..."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/HzQgMh3.jpg

Now let's see, 'When You Can't See God's Hand, Trust –––" WHA AAAAAHH! HOLY FUCK MY LEG!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (five years ago) link

I should post some from my area. The latest in Russian tryhard decor.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:48 (five years ago) link

Please do. This is an Open House.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:37 (five years ago) link

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (five years ago) link

Also, I love this shit so much. Gotta go find some corkers.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (five years ago) link

when we were househunting we looked at a place that was just like that converted garage, it was like there had been a terrible murder & they had just done a fly by night carpet/paint job.

oh and: no acoustics. completely dead sound. creeeeeeeepy as fuck.

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 06:09 (five years ago) link

There were a lot more fish in that barrel than I imagined last night when I started clicking around the local realtors map.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 14:17 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/lGxucgj.jpg

FOR SALE: The slightly worn set used by the short-lived cooking show "Food Times".

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:34 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/5K1rFTf.jpg

"Oh, don't mind me here, Irvin. You just go ahead and watch your football game."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:38 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/PGjSjlX.jpg

"I did it! I meditated and travelled back to 1974 to meet my true love!"

sees remote control on coffee table

"Nooooooooooo!!!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:40 (five years ago) link

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS1fcmx9hqs3b81000000000.jpg

After a long day at the office, I like to kick off my flip flops, snuggle up under a sleeping bag in my favorite lawn chair, and listen to a CD."

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:48 (five years ago) link

Whoops. Don't forget to turn on the spotlights.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:49 (five years ago) link

It's hard to reach the light switch when the earth is tilting like that.

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:50 (five years ago) link

lol the harp photo

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:52 (five years ago) link

I don't know if this goes here or on the your terrible ideas thread.

But browsing through the Memphis listings, decided there really should be an Eggleston Realty Co.

http://i.imgur.com/8em8sM5.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:44 (five years ago) link

"It's a fixer-upper, but you do get free Web access."

http://i.imgur.com/EDyjtXF.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:50 (five years ago) link

"This property's great, I just have to talk to my husband about – wait, is that someone playing a Peter Gabriel song?"

http://i.imgur.com/ki2KezG.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:51 (five years ago) link

"Just picture relaxing in your office, listening to the dryer tumble and smelling its fabric softener scented fumes. Can't picture it? Well, here..."

http://i.imgur.com/voX5sp4.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:53 (five years ago) link

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (Yesterday) Permalink

House painters and interior design mags convince people to do all kinds of stupid shit, often because it costs more and/or will seem tired in a few years. Painters convinced us to do a stupid-looking two-tone thing in our eat-in kitchen that I really regret. Walls really don't need to be two colors.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:56 (five years ago) link

The place in that pic costs $200 a week people. Melbourne is an expensive hell.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 17 December 2015 22:44 (five years ago) link

What is that room? And down here, what's going on with the mirrored top in front of the mirror with the ... air hockey puck on it?

http://i.imgur.com/72Mf62F.jpg

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:26 (five years ago) link

Anyway. Melbourne might be expensive, but blue paint sure ain't.

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:30 (five years ago) link

Ha, right? I think thats just a living room, with a laundry off it because that makes sense? Actually, tbf the ad was for a bungalow behind a house, so its probably only 2 rooms all told.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 18 December 2015 02:54 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/IV8btMU.png

They'll give you 15, but you'll only need five!

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:04 (five years ago) link

Ugh I fucking hate how narrow OFI windows are. And at such useless times, too, who has time to get off work and make to an opening at 5 if they work til 5.

I miss the days when you could just walk into an agents, pick up the keys for a bunch of properties and leave a fiddy for each one in deposit.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:15 (five years ago) link

I've tried to understand what's going on with Australian real estate, but it's hopeless.

For example, in the States, you hold an auction only if it's a foreclosure or it's a shitty property that no one wants. Apparently down there, it's the opposite - you take the photos and show your home, then wait for the big auction day where you'll likely get more than you asked for.

(Well, in Sydney, at least.)

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:22 (five years ago) link

Yeah sale by auction is something that crept in maybe 15-20 years back and seems ubiquitous now. And its precisely so they can make as much money as possible (a la ebay auctions I guess). I've been priced completely out of home ownership because I need $80k just for the *downpayment* and I just cannot get that sort of money together. Its insane.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:07 (five years ago) link

yes they listed with swastika graffiti intact http://www.movoto.com/quilcene-wa/411-sea-home-rd-quilcene-wa-98376-501_320196/
http://501.mlsimages.movoto.com/096/320196_14.jpg

alomar lines, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:15 (five years ago) link

Geez.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:17 (five years ago) link

I was thinking thats a lot of money for a shitshack but its on 7 acres of waterfront, that'd go for like 3 jillion here :(

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:18 (five years ago) link

"Yah, you can look at it that way, but didja know that in some cultures, it's a symbol of luck?"

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:32 (five years ago) link

its a banksy

am0n, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 16:13 (five years ago) link

three months pass...

I feel IA at the shape of the living room in this luxury condo in my neighborhood that also sells for nearly 3x the price of a nearly equivalent co-op apartment.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_2_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_3_0.jpg

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 15:34 (five years ago) link

You don't like that it ends at a point?

Look! You get that nifty little reading nook because of it. If it was flat, the nook would directly face the rest of the room.

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:06 (five years ago) link

IDK why it annoys me so much, partly just because it's so narrow compared to typical apartments in my neighborhood, which are mostly very spacious due to having been built in the 40s/50s. The point is awkward to me though, like it doesn't really look comfy as a nook, but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:09 (five years ago) link

but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

http://i.imgur.com/MobN7iy.jpg

Could that be the point?

http://i.imgur.com/btS0Gny.jpg

It does look narrow, but hey, isn't that life in the big city?

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:27 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/IZM4caY.jpg

"Can I get you anything? Perhaps some Pringles?"

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:32 (five years ago) link

xp, IDK it just looks like an awkward layout resulting from an awkwardly shaped building resulting from an effort to put the maximum # of apartments on an awkwardly shaped lot to me. And it's absurdly expensive for the area, although the terrace has a "bar pergola."

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:33 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/NmT5hLR.jpg

pplains, Friday, 29 April 2016 02:36 (five years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/bqI3ItM.jpg

"You may think that sign is corny, but you should've read what the original one said."

http://i.imgur.com/o65F4TB.jpg

- "Hey, Judy! Can you get me another beer?"

- "Sorry! I can't hear you! I'm in the kitchen!"

http://i.imgur.com/NJlddBA.jpg

- "I can't see very well in here. Does that say 'Haunted'?"

- "No, of course not. That would be silly. It says 'Wanted'."

http://i.imgur.com/fdjQJbr.jpg

"Well let me ask you something else: Are you a fan of Duke basketball? How about Israel?"

http://i.imgur.com/DtShLKV.jpg

Hmm. Maybe there's good reason why it's the loneliest number.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:04 (five years ago) link

http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISphukilm6juxw1000000000.jpg

"Pressure-washer gathering dust? Have we got the house for you!"

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:11 (five years ago) link

That one hits a little too close to home.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (five years ago) link

As in, that is my home - how did you find it.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (five years ago) link

i am truley sorry for your lots

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 16:45 (five years ago) link

we are at Johnny Depth

If you value Vox, we have an axe (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 May 2021 15:53 (four months ago) link

internet says "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality" is Jules de Gaultier

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 7 May 2021 16:11 (four months ago) link

putting in an offer on the St Louis one

Draymond is "Mr Dumpy" (forksclovetofu), Friday, 7 May 2021 18:34 (four months ago) link

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise, what is, it wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be, it would, you see. This is entirely bonkers but I'll tell you a secret, all the best houses are. Sunken conversations rise to incredible heights. Tables that clearly show the wonders of the deep. Waterfalls and rooftop gardens. Outside/inside and angles of peculiar destinations. Mirrors that reflect upside down. Bridges that lead to spaces with no faces. Closed windows with light from unexpected places. Somethings real, somethings created - all things coming together to form an unexpected adventure through the mind of a visionary man. This could be your dream and you could decide where it goes from here. Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.

--Bob Marley

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Friday, 7 May 2021 18:35 (four months ago) link

"this house, which is clearly shit, is actually good. more mess and gak when we come back!"
- marc summers

If you value Vox, we have an axe (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 May 2021 18:43 (four months ago) link

lol

ciderpress, Friday, 7 May 2021 18:47 (four months ago) link

that St. Louis one would look like a very intentional architectural essay in historical eclecticism, maximalist postmodernism, or something of the sort.... if not for the godawful real-estate photo lighting and "clarity" settings applied to the images. realistically it's probably the obsessive personal project of some tinkering eccentric/collector/salvage-rummager/bricoleur. which is also pretty cool IMHO but would also benefit tremendously from a different photographic aesthetic.

Bobo Honk, real name, no gimmicks (Doctor Casino), Friday, 7 May 2021 19:03 (four months ago) link

just a lil plug

itt stomach-churning hdr photos

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Friday, 7 May 2021 19:10 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

I love how most of the pictures are understandably showing the layout despite the damage, except for one photo that focuses on a specific patch of carpet with the words "THE SHIT".

Evan, Friday, 18 June 2021 12:53 (three months ago) link

After teasing the deck like that the least they could have done was have a photo. (I didn’t watch the video.)

Van Halen dot Senate dot flashlight (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 18 June 2021 13:53 (three months ago) link

i wanted to see the basement meat

superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 18 June 2021 13:58 (three months ago) link

ok i watched the video. the deck isn't in it. i don't understand how they're asking that much. they should just knock it down imo.

superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 18 June 2021 14:08 (three months ago) link

"Oh, and did I mention it’s in the pink of a geological landslide area?"

Nice way to sneak that in.

jmm, Friday, 18 June 2021 14:27 (three months ago) link

Ha ha we fucked up your house.

Vin Jawn (PBKR), Friday, 18 June 2021 14:40 (three months ago) link

The music hah

pure rim rest (Spottie), Friday, 18 June 2021 14:41 (three months ago) link

Um, do you not see this is a "Hot Home"? Your loss.

Evan, Friday, 18 June 2021 14:41 (three months ago) link

Ok, watched the video. Poor cats. Fuck that tenant.

Vin Jawn (PBKR), Friday, 18 June 2021 14:42 (three months ago) link

What's the CD left behind at 6:11?

Vin Jawn (PBKR), Friday, 18 June 2021 14:46 (three months ago) link

"There's something fishy about the property manager's accounting...All of this damage was done after the tenant had been evicted."

Is she implying that the property manager did the spray-painting?

jmm, Friday, 18 June 2021 14:50 (three months ago) link

xp I think it's this:

https://www.theballadeers.com/noa/images/wm/2008_cw.jpg

Chilling.

Vin Jawn (PBKR), Friday, 18 June 2021 14:52 (three months ago) link

across the celtic moors, a whisper -- "evict me bitch"

butyrate humbucker bobbins (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 18 June 2021 15:18 (three months ago) link

If you dream of owning your own little slice of hell and turning it into a piece of heaven, then look no further!

pplains, Friday, 18 June 2021 17:34 (three months ago) link

if you're a realtor and thought The Addams Family was a documentary, we've got your listing!

butyrate humbucker bobbins (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 18 June 2021 17:51 (three months ago) link

"There's something fishy about the property manager's accounting...All of this damage was done after the tenant had been evicted."

Is she implying that the property manager did the spray-painting?

― jmm, Friday, June 18, 2021 10:50 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

not enough info to figure out but i believe she was implying they had done an informal/illegal eviction of this person (probably changing the locks or something) rather than a sheriff's eviction through the court, which may be why the person was allowed back to get the stuff and cause damage, because they could argue they didn't get adequate notice or whatever

superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 18 June 2021 18:17 (three months ago) link

amazing bargain for buying all three parts of the Thunder On The Mountain trilogy as a bundle

bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Friday, 18 June 2021 19:47 (three months ago) link

This is too much. There should be a reality show where the landlord, property manager, tenant, and Mimi all have to live together in the house.

Vin Jawn (PBKR), Friday, 18 June 2021 19:53 (three months ago) link

the bank doesn't want to foreclose because they know they're never going to sell this dump, mimi

superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 18 June 2021 19:56 (three months ago) link

i miss the days when making fun of real estate listings was just a message board thing

Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Friday, 18 June 2021 20:29 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

https://i.imgur.com/2fO5Zdn.png

pplains, Thursday, 29 July 2021 03:07 (one month ago) link

how can there be so many things wrong with such a plain room, with only two objects in it

criminally negligible (harbl), Thursday, 29 July 2021 13:10 (one month ago) link

awesome

ciderpress, Thursday, 29 July 2021 14:03 (one month ago) link

Me: "Hi, I'm a delusional paranoid solipsist agoraphobe. I'm also an unmployed psychotherapist, however, and I need a space in which to psychoanalyze myself."

Real estate agent: "I got you fam"

trial by wombat (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 29 July 2021 15:09 (one month ago) link

Love when furniture is lurking in odd places.

https://d1ja9tyo8nbkbc.cloudfront.net/54118364_S0009/S0009/S0009-R0100/21023190/21023190-10.jpg?width=1024

jmm, Thursday, 29 July 2021 15:25 (one month ago) link

*opens trunk*

Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Thursday, 29 July 2021 15:29 (one month ago) link

there is nothing in the trunk

Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Thursday, 29 July 2021 15:30 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

I mean, we've seen enough of these wacky Grover houses to which it's probably not even worth it to share each one we find.

But, it was around these photos in the gallery when I started experiencing vertigo and other signs of a possible stroke.

https://i.imgur.com/poJT05r.png

https://i.imgur.com/DEAYE9C.png

pplains, Thursday, 2 September 2021 00:08 (two weeks ago) link

escheresque

you left out the hanging framed box fans

shitbird in prospect (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 2 September 2021 07:47 (two weeks ago) link

By that point, I was all, "I dunno, maybe this is normal and I'm the outlier."

pplains, Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:31 (two weeks ago) link

wow i didn't expect it to be THAT bad. it looks like it was built all from salvage building supplies. so many different browns. really disorienting.

criminally negligible (harbl), Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:39 (two weeks ago) link

More and more I am convinced the Winchester Mystery House is not so unique.

Derek and Clive Get the Horn Street (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 2 September 2021 14:13 (two weeks ago) link

trying to think of a new place to move in the next 5 years or so and i confess to thinking "oh i could easily afford this" and hoping it would be a good house before seeing the pictures

criminally negligible (harbl), Thursday, 2 September 2021 15:33 (two weeks ago) link

high property taxes though, clearfield pennsylvania? not what i was expecting

criminally negligible (harbl), Thursday, 2 September 2021 15:37 (two weeks ago) link

now my dream is to be the first person to actually buy a house that appears on this thread

criminally negligible (harbl), Thursday, 2 September 2021 15:38 (two weeks ago) link

https://www.movoto.com/flushing-ny/77-36-main-st-apt-3-c-flushing-ny-11367-484_1950912/for-sale/

I guess you could warm your feet by the fire. THE MOMENT YOU GET OUT OF THE SHOWER

calstars, Wednesday, 8 September 2021 00:03 (one week ago) link

barn doors are the scourge of the earth

a talented ‘Rebel’ with Balls (Spottie), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 00:12 (one week ago) link

They just seem lazy. Wood curtains.

pplains, Wednesday, 8 September 2021 02:50 (one week ago) link


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