L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

http://i.imgur.com/AiwOUIW.jpg

I know what you're thinking: House like this is going to look like a steak house on the inside, right?

http://i.imgur.com/KwizWJz.jpg

You would be absolutely correct.

http://i.imgur.com/MJTABtU.jpg

Nothing puts me more in my comfort zone than sitting on this folding chair, working at my awkward desk, breathing in fumes from the clothes dyer on a crisp winter's night.

http://i.imgur.com/UWQNY8Y.jpg

"Get the fuck out of here, this used to be the garage?"

http://i.imgur.com/RCL5xL2.jpg

"So hows long it been since you got made? Huh? Oh no..."

http://i.imgur.com/HzQgMh3.jpg

Now let's see, 'When You Can't See God's Hand, Trust –––" WHA AAAAAHH! HOLY FUCK MY LEG!"

I should post some from my area. The latest in Russian tryhard decor.

Please do. This is an Open House.

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

Also, I love this shit so much. Gotta go find some corkers.

when we were househunting we looked at a place that was just like that converted garage, it was like there had been a terrible murder & they had just done a fly by night carpet/paint job.

oh and: no acoustics. completely dead sound. creeeeeeeepy as fuck.

There were a lot more fish in that barrel than I imagined last night when I started clicking around the local realtors map.

http://i.imgur.com/lGxucgj.jpg

FOR SALE: The slightly worn set used by the short-lived cooking show "Food Times".

http://i.imgur.com/5K1rFTf.jpg

"Oh, don't mind me here, Irvin. You just go ahead and watch your football game."

http://i.imgur.com/PGjSjlX.jpg

"I did it! I meditated and travelled back to 1974 to meet my true love!"

sees remote control on coffee table

"Nooooooooooo!!!"

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS1fcmx9hqs3b81000000000.jpg

After a long day at the office, I like to kick off my flip flops, snuggle up under a sleeping bag in my favorite lawn chair, and listen to a CD."

Whoops. Don't forget to turn on the spotlights.

It's hard to reach the light switch when the earth is tilting like that.

lol the harp photo

I don't know if this goes here or on the your terrible ideas thread.

But browsing through the Memphis listings, decided there really should be an Eggleston Realty Co.

http://i.imgur.com/8em8sM5.jpg

"It's a fixer-upper, but you do get free Web access."

http://i.imgur.com/EDyjtXF.jpg

"This property's great, I just have to talk to my husband about – wait, is that someone playing a Peter Gabriel song?"

http://i.imgur.com/ki2KezG.jpg

"Just picture relaxing in your office, listening to the dryer tumble and smelling its fabric softener scented fumes. Can't picture it? Well, here..."

http://i.imgur.com/voX5sp4.jpg

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (Yesterday) Permalink

House painters and interior design mags convince people to do all kinds of stupid shit, often because it costs more and/or will seem tired in a few years. Painters convinced us to do a stupid-looking two-tone thing in our eat-in kitchen that I really regret. Walls really don't need to be two colors.

http://i3.au.reastatic.net/800x600/536fb89fbb581e49c8faa4924f7db6be6b0d7c2fad95f0eb90057b039be871ac/image3.jpg

Horror House II: the Stalking Sink.

The place in that pic costs $200 a week people. Melbourne is an expensive hell.

What is that room? And down here, what's going on with the mirrored top in front of the mirror with the ... air hockey puck on it?

http://i.imgur.com/72Mf62F.jpg

Anyway. Melbourne might be expensive, but blue paint sure ain't.

Ha, right? I think thats just a living room, with a laundry off it because that makes sense? Actually, tbf the ad was for a bungalow behind a house, so its probably only 2 rooms all told.

Now thats how you sell a bedroom ... ? :|

http://i1.au.reastatic.net/800x600/cac680e2c76c8585c7998bd1abf0a11e11d88499575c3e531f6ed1163234aee2/image5.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/IV8btMU.png

They'll give you 15, but you'll only need five!

Ugh I fucking hate how narrow OFI windows are. And at such useless times, too, who has time to get off work and make to an opening at 5 if they work til 5.

I miss the days when you could just walk into an agents, pick up the keys for a bunch of properties and leave a fiddy for each one in deposit.

I've tried to understand what's going on with Australian real estate, but it's hopeless.

For example, in the States, you hold an auction only if it's a foreclosure or it's a shitty property that no one wants. Apparently down there, it's the opposite - you take the photos and show your home, then wait for the big auction day where you'll likely get more than you asked for.

(Well, in Sydney, at least.)

Yeah sale by auction is something that crept in maybe 15-20 years back and seems ubiquitous now. And its precisely so they can make as much money as possible (a la ebay auctions I guess). I've been priced completely out of home ownership because I need $80k just for the *downpayment* and I just cannot get that sort of money together. Its insane.

yes they listed with swastika graffiti intact http://www.movoto.com/quilcene-wa/411-sea-home-rd-quilcene-wa-98376-501_320196/
http://501.mlsimages.movoto.com/096/320196_14.jpg

Geez.

I was thinking thats a lot of money for a shitshack but its on 7 acres of waterfront, that'd go for like 3 jillion here :(

"Yah, you can look at it that way, but didja know that in some cultures, it's a symbol of luck?"

its a banksy

I feel IA at the shape of the living room in this luxury condo in my neighborhood that also sells for nearly 3x the price of a nearly equivalent co-op apartment.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_2_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_3_0.jpg

You don't like that it ends at a point?

Look! You get that nifty little reading nook because of it. If it was flat, the nook would directly face the rest of the room.

IDK why it annoys me so much, partly just because it's so narrow compared to typical apartments in my neighborhood, which are mostly very spacious due to having been built in the 40s/50s. The point is awkward to me though, like it doesn't really look comfy as a nook, but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

http://i.imgur.com/MobN7iy.jpg

Could that be the point?

http://i.imgur.com/btS0Gny.jpg

It does look narrow, but hey, isn't that life in the big city?

http://i.imgur.com/IZM4caY.jpg

"Can I get you anything? Perhaps some Pringles?"

xp, IDK it just looks like an awkward layout resulting from an awkwardly shaped building resulting from an effort to put the maximum # of apartments on an awkwardly shaped lot to me. And it's absurdly expensive for the area, although the terrace has a "bar pergola."

http://i.imgur.com/NmT5hLR.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/bqI3ItM.jpg

"You may think that sign is corny, but you should've read what the original one said."

http://i.imgur.com/o65F4TB.jpg

- "Hey, Judy! Can you get me another beer?"

- "Sorry! I can't hear you! I'm in the kitchen!"

http://i.imgur.com/NJlddBA.jpg

- "I can't see very well in here. Does that say 'Haunted'?"

- "No, of course not. That would be silly. It says 'Wanted'."

http://i.imgur.com/fdjQJbr.jpg

"Well let me ask you something else: Are you a fan of Duke basketball? How about Israel?"

http://i.imgur.com/DtShLKV.jpg

Hmm. Maybe there's good reason why it's the loneliest number.

http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISphukilm6juxw1000000000.jpg

"Pressure-washer gathering dust? Have we got the house for you!"

That one hits a little too close to home.

As in, that is my home - how did you find it.

i am truley sorry for your lots

we are at Johnny Depth

internet says "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality" is Jules de Gaultier

putting in an offer on the St Louis one

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise, what is, it wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be, it would, you see. This is entirely bonkers but I'll tell you a secret, all the best houses are. Sunken conversations rise to incredible heights. Tables that clearly show the wonders of the deep. Waterfalls and rooftop gardens. Outside/inside and angles of peculiar destinations. Mirrors that reflect upside down. Bridges that lead to spaces with no faces. Closed windows with light from unexpected places. Somethings real, somethings created - all things coming together to form an unexpected adventure through the mind of a visionary man. This could be your dream and you could decide where it goes from here. Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.

--Bob Marley

"this house, which is clearly shit, is actually good. more mess and gak when we come back!"
- marc summers

lol

that St. Louis one would look like a very intentional architectural essay in historical eclecticism, maximalist postmodernism, or something of the sort.... if not for the godawful real-estate photo lighting and "clarity" settings applied to the images. realistically it's probably the obsessive personal project of some tinkering eccentric/collector/salvage-rummager/bricoleur. which is also pretty cool IMHO but would also benefit tremendously from a different photographic aesthetic.

Looking at those pictures felt like:

https://images.hindustantimes.com/rf/image_size_960x540/HT/p2/2019/04/25/Pictures/_5183fa28-6760-11e9-b8c7-d9ea8f4e8ad0.jpg

just a lil plug

itt stomach-churning hdr photos

a bit of a fixer upper
https://www.redfin.com/CO/Colorado-Springs/4525-Churchill-Ct-80906/home/34515765

I love how most of the pictures are understandably showing the layout despite the damage, except for one photo that focuses on a specific patch of carpet with the words "THE SHIT".

After teasing the deck like that the least they could have done was have a photo. (I didn’t watch the video.)

i wanted to see the basement meat

ok i watched the video. the deck isn't in it. i don't understand how they're asking that much. they should just knock it down imo.

"Oh, and did I mention it’s in the pink of a geological landslide area?"

Nice way to sneak that in.

Ha ha we fucked up your house.

The music hah

Um, do you not see this is a "Hot Home"? Your loss.

Ok, watched the video. Poor cats. Fuck that tenant.

What's the CD left behind at 6:11?

"There's something fishy about the property manager's accounting...All of this damage was done after the tenant had been evicted."

Is she implying that the property manager did the spray-painting?

xp I think it's this:

https://www.theballadeers.com/noa/images/wm/2008_cw.jpg

Chilling.

across the celtic moors, a whisper -- "evict me bitch"

If you dream of owning your own little slice of hell and turning it into a piece of heaven, then look no further!

if you're a realtor and thought The Addams Family was a documentary, we've got your listing!

"There's something fishy about the property manager's accounting...All of this damage was done after the tenant had been evicted."

Is she implying that the property manager did the spray-painting?

― jmm, Friday, June 18, 2021 10:50 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

not enough info to figure out but i believe she was implying they had done an informal/illegal eviction of this person (probably changing the locks or something) rather than a sheriff's eviction through the court, which may be why the person was allowed back to get the stuff and cause damage, because they could argue they didn't get adequate notice or whatever

https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/06/slice-of-hell-realtor-colorado-house-vandalized-eviction.html

https://mimifosterbooks.com/romantic-escapes/

amazing bargain for buying all three parts of the Thunder On The Mountain trilogy as a bundle

This is too much. There should be a reality show where the landlord, property manager, tenant, and Mimi all have to live together in the house.

the bank doesn't want to foreclose because they know they're never going to sell this dump, mimi

i miss the days when making fun of real estate listings was just a message board thing

https://i.imgur.com/2fO5Zdn.png

how can there be so many things wrong with such a plain room, with only two objects in it

awesome

Me: "Hi, I'm a delusional paranoid solipsist agoraphobe. I'm also an unmployed psychotherapist, however, and I need a space in which to psychoanalyze myself."

Real estate agent: "I got you fam"

Love when furniture is lurking in odd places.

https://d1ja9tyo8nbkbc.cloudfront.net/54118364_S0009/S0009/S0009-R0100/21023190/21023190-10.jpg?width=1024

*opens trunk*

there is nothing in the trunk

I mean, we've seen enough of these wacky Grover houses to which it's probably not even worth it to share each one we find.

But, it was around these photos in the gallery when I started experiencing vertigo and other signs of a possible stroke.

https://i.imgur.com/poJT05r.png

https://i.imgur.com/DEAYE9C.png

escheresque

you left out the hanging framed box fans

By that point, I was all, "I dunno, maybe this is normal and I'm the outlier."

wow i didn't expect it to be THAT bad. it looks like it was built all from salvage building supplies. so many different browns. really disorienting.

More and more I am convinced the Winchester Mystery House is not so unique.

trying to think of a new place to move in the next 5 years or so and i confess to thinking "oh i could easily afford this" and hoping it would be a good house before seeing the pictures

high property taxes though, clearfield pennsylvania? not what i was expecting

now my dream is to be the first person to actually buy a house that appears on this thread

https://www.movoto.com/flushing-ny/77-36-main-st-apt-3-c-flushing-ny-11367-484_1950912/for-sale/

I guess you could warm your feet by the fire. THE MOMENT YOU GET OUT OF THE SHOWER

barn doors are the scourge of the earth

They just seem lazy. Wood curtains.