L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

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http://i.imgur.com/AiwOUIW.jpg

I know what you're thinking: House like this is going to look like a steak house on the inside, right?

http://i.imgur.com/KwizWJz.jpg

You would be absolutely correct.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:51 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/MJTABtU.jpg

Nothing puts me more in my comfort zone than sitting on this folding chair, working at my awkward desk, breathing in fumes from the clothes dyer on a crisp winter's night.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:52 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/UWQNY8Y.jpg

"Get the fuck out of here, this used to be the garage?"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/RCL5xL2.jpg

"So hows long it been since you got made? Huh? Oh no..."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/HzQgMh3.jpg

Now let's see, 'When You Can't See God's Hand, Trust –––" WHA AAAAAHH! HOLY FUCK MY LEG!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (three years ago) Permalink

I should post some from my area. The latest in Russian tryhard decor.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:48 (three years ago) Permalink

Please do. This is an Open House.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:37 (three years ago) Permalink

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (three years ago) Permalink

Also, I love this shit so much. Gotta go find some corkers.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (three years ago) Permalink

when we were househunting we looked at a place that was just like that converted garage, it was like there had been a terrible murder & they had just done a fly by night carpet/paint job.

oh and: no acoustics. completely dead sound. creeeeeeeepy as fuck.

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 06:09 (three years ago) Permalink

There were a lot more fish in that barrel than I imagined last night when I started clicking around the local realtors map.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 14:17 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/lGxucgj.jpg

FOR SALE: The slightly worn set used by the short-lived cooking show "Food Times".

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:34 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/5K1rFTf.jpg

"Oh, don't mind me here, Irvin. You just go ahead and watch your football game."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:38 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/PGjSjlX.jpg

"I did it! I meditated and travelled back to 1974 to meet my true love!"

sees remote control on coffee table

"Nooooooooooo!!!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:40 (three years ago) Permalink

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS1fcmx9hqs3b81000000000.jpg

After a long day at the office, I like to kick off my flip flops, snuggle up under a sleeping bag in my favorite lawn chair, and listen to a CD."

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:48 (three years ago) Permalink

Whoops. Don't forget to turn on the spotlights.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:49 (three years ago) Permalink

It's hard to reach the light switch when the earth is tilting like that.

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:50 (three years ago) Permalink

lol the harp photo

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:52 (three years ago) Permalink

I don't know if this goes here or on the your terrible ideas thread.

But browsing through the Memphis listings, decided there really should be an Eggleston Realty Co.

http://i.imgur.com/8em8sM5.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:44 (three years ago) Permalink

"It's a fixer-upper, but you do get free Web access."

http://i.imgur.com/EDyjtXF.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:50 (three years ago) Permalink

"This property's great, I just have to talk to my husband about – wait, is that someone playing a Peter Gabriel song?"

http://i.imgur.com/ki2KezG.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:51 (three years ago) Permalink

"Just picture relaxing in your office, listening to the dryer tumble and smelling its fabric softener scented fumes. Can't picture it? Well, here..."

http://i.imgur.com/voX5sp4.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:53 (three years ago) Permalink

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (Yesterday) Permalink

House painters and interior design mags convince people to do all kinds of stupid shit, often because it costs more and/or will seem tired in a few years. Painters convinced us to do a stupid-looking two-tone thing in our eat-in kitchen that I really regret. Walls really don't need to be two colors.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:56 (three years ago) Permalink

The place in that pic costs $200 a week people. Melbourne is an expensive hell.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 17 December 2015 22:44 (three years ago) Permalink

What is that room? And down here, what's going on with the mirrored top in front of the mirror with the ... air hockey puck on it?

http://i.imgur.com/72Mf62F.jpg

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:26 (three years ago) Permalink

Anyway. Melbourne might be expensive, but blue paint sure ain't.

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:30 (three years ago) Permalink

Ha, right? I think thats just a living room, with a laundry off it because that makes sense? Actually, tbf the ad was for a bungalow behind a house, so its probably only 2 rooms all told.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 18 December 2015 02:54 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/IV8btMU.png

They'll give you 15, but you'll only need five!

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:04 (three years ago) Permalink

Ugh I fucking hate how narrow OFI windows are. And at such useless times, too, who has time to get off work and make to an opening at 5 if they work til 5.

I miss the days when you could just walk into an agents, pick up the keys for a bunch of properties and leave a fiddy for each one in deposit.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:15 (three years ago) Permalink

I've tried to understand what's going on with Australian real estate, but it's hopeless.

For example, in the States, you hold an auction only if it's a foreclosure or it's a shitty property that no one wants. Apparently down there, it's the opposite - you take the photos and show your home, then wait for the big auction day where you'll likely get more than you asked for.

(Well, in Sydney, at least.)

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:22 (three years ago) Permalink

Yeah sale by auction is something that crept in maybe 15-20 years back and seems ubiquitous now. And its precisely so they can make as much money as possible (a la ebay auctions I guess). I've been priced completely out of home ownership because I need $80k just for the *downpayment* and I just cannot get that sort of money together. Its insane.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:07 (three years ago) Permalink

yes they listed with swastika graffiti intact http://www.movoto.com/quilcene-wa/411-sea-home-rd-quilcene-wa-98376-501_320196/
http://501.mlsimages.movoto.com/096/320196_14.jpg

alomar lines, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:15 (three years ago) Permalink

Geez.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:17 (three years ago) Permalink

I was thinking thats a lot of money for a shitshack but its on 7 acres of waterfront, that'd go for like 3 jillion here :(

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:18 (three years ago) Permalink

"Yah, you can look at it that way, but didja know that in some cultures, it's a symbol of luck?"

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:32 (three years ago) Permalink

its a banksy

am0n, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 16:13 (three years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

I feel IA at the shape of the living room in this luxury condo in my neighborhood that also sells for nearly 3x the price of a nearly equivalent co-op apartment.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_2_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_3_0.jpg

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 15:34 (three years ago) Permalink

You don't like that it ends at a point?

Look! You get that nifty little reading nook because of it. If it was flat, the nook would directly face the rest of the room.

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:06 (three years ago) Permalink

IDK why it annoys me so much, partly just because it's so narrow compared to typical apartments in my neighborhood, which are mostly very spacious due to having been built in the 40s/50s. The point is awkward to me though, like it doesn't really look comfy as a nook, but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:09 (three years ago) Permalink

but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

http://i.imgur.com/MobN7iy.jpg

Could that be the point?

http://i.imgur.com/btS0Gny.jpg

It does look narrow, but hey, isn't that life in the big city?

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:27 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/IZM4caY.jpg

"Can I get you anything? Perhaps some Pringles?"

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:32 (three years ago) Permalink

xp, IDK it just looks like an awkward layout resulting from an awkwardly shaped building resulting from an effort to put the maximum # of apartments on an awkwardly shaped lot to me. And it's absurdly expensive for the area, although the terrace has a "bar pergola."

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:33 (three years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/NmT5hLR.jpg

pplains, Friday, 29 April 2016 02:36 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/bqI3ItM.jpg

"You may think that sign is corny, but you should've read what the original one said."

http://i.imgur.com/o65F4TB.jpg

- "Hey, Judy! Can you get me another beer?"

- "Sorry! I can't hear you! I'm in the kitchen!"

http://i.imgur.com/NJlddBA.jpg

- "I can't see very well in here. Does that say 'Haunted'?"

- "No, of course not. That would be silly. It says 'Wanted'."

http://i.imgur.com/fdjQJbr.jpg

"Well let me ask you something else: Are you a fan of Duke basketball? How about Israel?"

http://i.imgur.com/DtShLKV.jpg

Hmm. Maybe there's good reason why it's the loneliest number.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:04 (three years ago) Permalink

http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISphukilm6juxw1000000000.jpg

"Pressure-washer gathering dust? Have we got the house for you!"

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:11 (three years ago) Permalink

That one hits a little too close to home.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (three years ago) Permalink

As in, that is my home - how did you find it.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (three years ago) Permalink

i am truley sorry for your lots

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 16:45 (three years ago) Permalink

my god

ciderpress, Tuesday, 23 April 2019 23:04 (two months ago) Permalink

A historical Texans burial plot is one of those must-have features

jmm, Tuesday, 23 April 2019 23:04 (two months ago) Permalink

Technically if the Texans buried in the front yard of this house aren't historical that means they would be scrabbling inside their coffins to get out which I can imagine could be off-putting at night

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 23 April 2019 23:32 (two months ago) Permalink

Long as they're Texans.

pplains, Wednesday, 24 April 2019 00:40 (two months ago) Permalink

I'm totally into this woman's demented obsession, except for that weird mid-floor fold-out kitchen unit.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 01:06 (two months ago) Permalink

incredible find

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 24 April 2019 01:31 (two months ago) Permalink

Courtesy of a twitter user fwiw

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 01:38 (two months ago) Permalink

here i sit, buns a-flexin
squeezing out another texan

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 15:54 (two months ago) Permalink

Ok, what am I missing here.

https://i.imgur.com/3f6KetI.jpg

https://www.amazon.com/Rise-Fall-Pillowcase-Wedding-Shower/dp/B017RUIWF0

Why aren't they "His" and "Her" pillowcases? Why aren't they "She" and "He" pillowcases?

pplains, Thursday, 25 April 2019 00:07 (one month ago) Permalink

"Him" and "Her" I mean.

pplains, Thursday, 25 April 2019 00:07 (one month ago) Permalink

Also, I could compile a weekly tumblr of nothing but real estate photos featuring electronic drum kits.

https://i.imgur.com/EaVjZ4a.jpg

It wouldn't be the most exciting blog ever, but

pplains, Thursday, 25 April 2019 00:10 (one month ago) Permalink

hahaha

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 25 April 2019 03:33 (one month ago) Permalink

Why aren't they "His" and "Her" pillowcases? Why aren't they "She" and "He" pillowcases?

it took me a minute but..

https://consequenceofsound.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/she-and-him.jpg

buttigieg play the blues (crüt), Thursday, 25 April 2019 04:10 (one month ago) Permalink

What this thread tells me is that Australians spend a lot more money on staging their homes as generic white boxes with awful art that people in other real estate state markets.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Thursday, 25 April 2019 04:11 (one month ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

https://i.imgur.com/EhQWbLv.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:08 (one month ago) Permalink

That isn't one of those "Oh! Haha" kinda pics that I spend too much time looking for online. And yet, it's stayed on my mind for the past 12 hours, since I saw it last night.

1.) The wall-to-wall carpeting.

2.) The vent near the middle of the sliding-glass door. Why?

3.) Note that I said near the middle. Another mark against this.

4.) Curtains in front of a sliding-glass door. Kinda feel it's gotta be vertical pleated blinds or nothing else, including the door.

5.) The space at the top between the curtains and the rod vs the extra slack drooped on the wall-to-wall carpeting.

6.) Each table has part of it folded over to the side. The chairs have minimal arm rests.

7.) The space at the top between the curtains and the rod vs. the space between the rod and what are literally rafters.

8.) The vacuum grooves in the wall-to-wall carpeting that imply that the frilly chair scoots around on its own.

9.) The rug on the wall-to-wall carpeting.

10.) And what's not shown in this photo: What on earth little elevated walkway is happening up here? See that plant on the right? Does it meet each wall and keep forming right angles?

pplains, Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:17 (one month ago) Permalink

2.) The vent near the middle of the sliding-glass door. Why?

This may have been a thing in the '70s. My first house as a kid had a vent right next to our upstairs porch door. Many mornings I spent camped out over that heat source with the cold winter glass behind my back.

zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:21 (one month ago) Permalink

wall-to-wall carpeting pretty normal in many parts of the world

kinder, Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:26 (one month ago) Permalink

W2WC is indeed everywhere.

I guess it's weird not to see a little tile in front of the door, an engawa to separate the deck from the rest of the house.

Goes along with no tile, but a vent. Lots of condensation on that window, I'd bet.

Curtains must flutter like a ghost.

pplains, Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:31 (one month ago) Permalink

the vent is to reduce the condensation by keeping the glass warm, so moist interior air doesn't bang into an ice-cold pane of glass and release moisture. (that is not an excuse for lousy design obv)

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 16 May 2019 12:47 (one month ago) Permalink

I'm seeing the reverse of that: ice-cold dry air blowing against a pane of glass with murky warm muggy conditions on the other side of it.

pplains, Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:13 (one month ago) Permalink

who puts a cold-air vent in the floor tho

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:19 (one month ago) Permalink

The perspective of that photo makes it look like a dollhouse.

Yerac, Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:27 (one month ago) Permalink

Yes! I don't know if it's just because we have a loft conversion with a pitched ceiling where the walls are literally half that height, but I spent a minute staring at it thinking "why is there a strange half-height window flush with the floor? And why are those chairs so tiny..."

The Pingularity (ledge), Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:34 (one month ago) Permalink

It's very dollhouse looking furniture too.

Yerac, Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:36 (one month ago) Permalink

The perspective definitely isn't helping matters.

who puts a cold-air vent in the floor tho

1.) Welcome to the American South.

2.) You can't have a vent dangling from the pitched ceiling rafters.

pplains, Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:43 (one month ago) Permalink

ok, i admit i can no longer remember where the vents where when i lived in the south, and actually the only ones i can specifically picture were in the floors.

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:47 (one month ago) Permalink

Makes no sense though. That cold air isn't going to rise.

Evan, Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:48 (one month ago) Permalink

Those vents in the floor are so prevalent I can feel it on my feet as I walk on it.

Yerac, Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:51 (one month ago) Permalink

My parents had huge rugs over wall to wall carpeting. I think they thought it was saving the carpeting from wear.

Yerac, Thursday, 16 May 2019 13:52 (one month ago) Permalink

This room is the one adjacent to 237

calstars, Thursday, 16 May 2019 14:06 (one month ago) Permalink

Used to work with an energy efficiency expert who hosted his own Saturday morning talk show. "Where's the hottest part of the house in the summer? THE ATTIC! Where does every contractor want to put your air conditioning? IN THE ATTIC!"

pplains, Thursday, 16 May 2019 14:39 (one month ago) Permalink

the whole curtain situation is extremely DIY - flimsy curtain rod FIXED TO THE MOULDING argh. wrong length because it was just taken out of the package and put up. (if they'd actually fixed the rod where it ought to go it would be exactly the right height!)

i'm imagining the conversation that led to that curtain going up. the swearing involved.

you can see they've pushed the curtain a bit over next to the window to keep it clear of the vent.. i wonder how many times a week they have to do that

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 16 May 2019 14:59 (one month ago) Permalink

- what is so bad out the window that it was preferable to have the janky curtain closed for the photo?

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 16 May 2019 20:47 (one month ago) Permalink

I don't know, but please allow me to vent just one more time:

https://i.imgur.com/vLDnaIK.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 16 May 2019 23:55 (one month ago) Permalink

What's the symbolism of yellow roses on freshly vaccuumed w2w carpeting?

Yerac, Friday, 17 May 2019 00:03 (one month ago) Permalink

I don't know but those vacuuming patterns, it's like they're mowing the outfield at Wrigley

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 17 May 2019 00:11 (one month ago) Permalink

You can see Bob hiding behind the chair

calstars, Friday, 17 May 2019 00:36 (one month ago) Permalink

They should do nutshell study photoshopped crime scene composites with these creepy real estate pics.

Yerac, Friday, 17 May 2019 01:17 (one month ago) Permalink

i will rep wall to wall carpeting 4 lyfe

:∵·∴·∵: (crüt), Friday, 17 May 2019 01:37 (one month ago) Permalink

O do you now, crüt.

https://i.imgur.com/7h82JzQ.jpg

pplains, Friday, 17 May 2019 01:43 (one month ago) Permalink

i've lived in some weird w2w apartments

ciderpress, Friday, 17 May 2019 01:50 (one month ago) Permalink

And Yerac's OTM about Nutshell scenes. Same would work for those cutout crime scene pix from Helter Skelter.

https://i.imgur.com/AAHxaSs.jpg

pplains, Friday, 17 May 2019 01:51 (one month ago) Permalink

i would sit on those carpeted stairs, maybe sprawl out a little. v inviting

:∵·∴·∵: (crüt), Friday, 17 May 2019 02:11 (one month ago) Permalink

That's an air return vent to the right of the "stairs"*. Bet there's dust still there from 1991.

pplains, Friday, 17 May 2019 02:53 (one month ago) Permalink

* When do "steps" turn into "stairs"?

pplains, Friday, 17 May 2019 02:54 (one month ago) Permalink

@5

alomar lines, Friday, 17 May 2019 03:53 (one month ago) Permalink

they're just dinky old steps if they're bare but if you put carpeting on them they become a complete staircase

:∵·∴·∵: (crüt), Friday, 17 May 2019 04:01 (one month ago) Permalink

the lighting is very Twin Peaksian
p sure bob is behind that curtain

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 17 May 2019 07:12 (one month ago) Permalink

I like how if you trip and fall on the carpeted steps the brick planters are there to soften your landing

Brad C., Friday, 17 May 2019 19:18 (one month ago) Permalink


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