L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

http://i.imgur.com/AiwOUIW.jpg

I know what you're thinking: House like this is going to look like a steak house on the inside, right?

http://i.imgur.com/KwizWJz.jpg

You would be absolutely correct.

http://i.imgur.com/MJTABtU.jpg

Nothing puts me more in my comfort zone than sitting on this folding chair, working at my awkward desk, breathing in fumes from the clothes dyer on a crisp winter's night.

http://i.imgur.com/UWQNY8Y.jpg

"Get the fuck out of here, this used to be the garage?"

http://i.imgur.com/RCL5xL2.jpg

"So hows long it been since you got made? Huh? Oh no..."

http://i.imgur.com/HzQgMh3.jpg

Now let's see, 'When You Can't See God's Hand, Trust –––" WHA AAAAAHH! HOLY FUCK MY LEG!"

I should post some from my area. The latest in Russian tryhard decor.

Please do. This is an Open House.

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

Also, I love this shit so much. Gotta go find some corkers.

when we were househunting we looked at a place that was just like that converted garage, it was like there had been a terrible murder & they had just done a fly by night carpet/paint job.

oh and: no acoustics. completely dead sound. creeeeeeeepy as fuck.

There were a lot more fish in that barrel than I imagined last night when I started clicking around the local realtors map.

http://i.imgur.com/lGxucgj.jpg

FOR SALE: The slightly worn set used by the short-lived cooking show "Food Times".

http://i.imgur.com/5K1rFTf.jpg

"Oh, don't mind me here, Irvin. You just go ahead and watch your football game."

http://i.imgur.com/PGjSjlX.jpg

"I did it! I meditated and travelled back to 1974 to meet my true love!"

sees remote control on coffee table

"Nooooooooooo!!!"

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS1fcmx9hqs3b81000000000.jpg

After a long day at the office, I like to kick off my flip flops, snuggle up under a sleeping bag in my favorite lawn chair, and listen to a CD."

Whoops. Don't forget to turn on the spotlights.

It's hard to reach the light switch when the earth is tilting like that.

lol the harp photo

I don't know if this goes here or on the your terrible ideas thread.

But browsing through the Memphis listings, decided there really should be an Eggleston Realty Co.

http://i.imgur.com/8em8sM5.jpg

"It's a fixer-upper, but you do get free Web access."

http://i.imgur.com/EDyjtXF.jpg

"This property's great, I just have to talk to my husband about – wait, is that someone playing a Peter Gabriel song?"

http://i.imgur.com/ki2KezG.jpg

"Just picture relaxing in your office, listening to the dryer tumble and smelling its fabric softener scented fumes. Can't picture it? Well, here..."

http://i.imgur.com/voX5sp4.jpg

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (Yesterday) Permalink

House painters and interior design mags convince people to do all kinds of stupid shit, often because it costs more and/or will seem tired in a few years. Painters convinced us to do a stupid-looking two-tone thing in our eat-in kitchen that I really regret. Walls really don't need to be two colors.

http://i3.au.reastatic.net/800x600/536fb89fbb581e49c8faa4924f7db6be6b0d7c2fad95f0eb90057b039be871ac/image3.jpg

Horror House II: the Stalking Sink.

The place in that pic costs $200 a week people. Melbourne is an expensive hell.

What is that room? And down here, what's going on with the mirrored top in front of the mirror with the ... air hockey puck on it?

http://i.imgur.com/72Mf62F.jpg

Anyway. Melbourne might be expensive, but blue paint sure ain't.

Ha, right? I think thats just a living room, with a laundry off it because that makes sense? Actually, tbf the ad was for a bungalow behind a house, so its probably only 2 rooms all told.

Now thats how you sell a bedroom ... ? :|

http://i1.au.reastatic.net/800x600/cac680e2c76c8585c7998bd1abf0a11e11d88499575c3e531f6ed1163234aee2/image5.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/IV8btMU.png

They'll give you 15, but you'll only need five!

Ugh I fucking hate how narrow OFI windows are. And at such useless times, too, who has time to get off work and make to an opening at 5 if they work til 5.

I miss the days when you could just walk into an agents, pick up the keys for a bunch of properties and leave a fiddy for each one in deposit.

I've tried to understand what's going on with Australian real estate, but it's hopeless.

For example, in the States, you hold an auction only if it's a foreclosure or it's a shitty property that no one wants. Apparently down there, it's the opposite - you take the photos and show your home, then wait for the big auction day where you'll likely get more than you asked for.

(Well, in Sydney, at least.)

Yeah sale by auction is something that crept in maybe 15-20 years back and seems ubiquitous now. And its precisely so they can make as much money as possible (a la ebay auctions I guess). I've been priced completely out of home ownership because I need $80k just for the *downpayment* and I just cannot get that sort of money together. Its insane.

yes they listed with swastika graffiti intact http://www.movoto.com/quilcene-wa/411-sea-home-rd-quilcene-wa-98376-501_320196/
http://501.mlsimages.movoto.com/096/320196_14.jpg

Geez.

I was thinking thats a lot of money for a shitshack but its on 7 acres of waterfront, that'd go for like 3 jillion here :(

"Yah, you can look at it that way, but didja know that in some cultures, it's a symbol of luck?"

its a banksy

I feel IA at the shape of the living room in this luxury condo in my neighborhood that also sells for nearly 3x the price of a nearly equivalent co-op apartment.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_2_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_3_0.jpg

You don't like that it ends at a point?

Look! You get that nifty little reading nook because of it. If it was flat, the nook would directly face the rest of the room.

IDK why it annoys me so much, partly just because it's so narrow compared to typical apartments in my neighborhood, which are mostly very spacious due to having been built in the 40s/50s. The point is awkward to me though, like it doesn't really look comfy as a nook, but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

http://i.imgur.com/MobN7iy.jpg

Could that be the point?

http://i.imgur.com/btS0Gny.jpg

It does look narrow, but hey, isn't that life in the big city?

http://i.imgur.com/IZM4caY.jpg

"Can I get you anything? Perhaps some Pringles?"

xp, IDK it just looks like an awkward layout resulting from an awkwardly shaped building resulting from an effort to put the maximum # of apartments on an awkwardly shaped lot to me. And it's absurdly expensive for the area, although the terrace has a "bar pergola."

http://i.imgur.com/NmT5hLR.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/bqI3ItM.jpg

"You may think that sign is corny, but you should've read what the original one said."

http://i.imgur.com/o65F4TB.jpg

- "Hey, Judy! Can you get me another beer?"

- "Sorry! I can't hear you! I'm in the kitchen!"

http://i.imgur.com/NJlddBA.jpg

- "I can't see very well in here. Does that say 'Haunted'?"

- "No, of course not. That would be silly. It says 'Wanted'."

http://i.imgur.com/fdjQJbr.jpg

"Well let me ask you something else: Are you a fan of Duke basketball? How about Israel?"

http://i.imgur.com/DtShLKV.jpg

Hmm. Maybe there's good reason why it's the loneliest number.

http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISphukilm6juxw1000000000.jpg

"Pressure-washer gathering dust? Have we got the house for you!"

That one hits a little too close to home.

As in, that is my home - how did you find it.

i am truley sorry for your lots

Framed portrait of Gordon Jump in the red room killed me.

the little things that get me about angel pink-floyd-album-cover are:

the little vacuum hose coil poking out of the tiniest under-stairway storage nook imaginable
the pillar outside the window
this house is apparently built on unoccupied moorland by the sea?
the statue above the staircase
the cord hanging down from the tv
the brown embroidered bed pillow square on the wall in the background, far-right

https://consequenceofsound.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Big-Star-Radio-City1.jpg

Stairwell toilets pic.twitter.com/MyB2HzClIi

— Kerma (@kerma4kHD) October 21, 2020

The last of those reminds me of when we were first house hunting in London. We rang a doorbell a few times for a viewing with no answer and were just about to leave when we heard a flushing noise and a wee old man appeared at the door. He then made the mistake of showing off his poorly ventilated Harry-Potter-Cupboard-Loo-Conversion first. The stench would have floored a horse.

https://i.imgur.com/B0H5qiW.jpg

CONS

1. Those stairs.

2. Window going into ceiling.

3. No symmetry.

4. Each window opens in a different direction?

PROS

1. If you look at it long enough, you can trick your brain into thinking it sees a large-screen television showing a home show.

Alexa, what does Non-Euclidean Geometry look like?

https://64.media.tumblr.com/81235dfb009caf05d1a0671338b45fc2/815bc6cf9760bd9a-20/s1280x1920/e66dd0592755bbd0034635c3568c918bf4daf40e.jpg

The vertical hold is off in the bathroom again.

https://i.imgur.com/K40rSjL.jpg

what is that catwalk? not to code

My guess is the water heater.

People, can we refrain from posting pictures of the Winchester House ITT?

I kinda like that first picture, apart from how the doorway opens onto the stairs, which is an accident waiting to happen.

Don't rightly know how anyone could ever get disoriented and lose their balance at that spot.

Found this master suite in an otherwise normal house and I gotta say, this is my kind of nightmare pic.twitter.com/1E2HAOflCW

— shadowfax 🐴 (@whyangelinawhy) November 15, 2020

Holy hell

seksy

The giant watch and the masked photographer

Computer, ENHANCE: (6ft tall watch on the back wall serving as a clock) pic.twitter.com/F9V8kku4N1

— POST OFFICE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU FUCK IT (@LumpySpaceBoat) November 16, 2020

Didn't Swatch used to make those?

Still do, in fact:

https://www.watchpapst.de/en/swatch/maxi-wall-clock.html

ayyyy
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1-Rivers-Edge-Dr-Colts-Neck-NJ-07722/39230937_zpid/?

you can tell they're jewish because of the hall of pictures.

not gonna lie, i fucking love that

It was a bad moment for humanity when real estate photographers discovered HDR

lol I was about to dub that house "The Jew's Nightmare"

I won’t say there are no wealthy Jews with bad taste but I think even wealthy Jews with bad taste aren’t huge on Christmas

the house version of the disgustingly HDR burger

it's perpetually startling when Xians prove their love of Jesus by displaying models of dead Jesus, who reputedly said 'do not worship images of me, especially when i'm rendered in extremis out of concrete'

aka how to tell the difference between Catholics and Protestants.

I love it when a generic link like that gets posted because I know I'm about to go "Nice enough house. Kinda generic. Lot of work put into the driveway. Wonder why Spottie –– *needle scratch* –– Oh."

https://i.imgur.com/TBy8ehC.png

"Did you remember to photoshop the bird into the screen? No? Oh God, no one's going to notice the rest of the room because they're going to be looking at that dark television monitor!"

yah the bird on the screen lol. the bathroom with the rocky sink / toilet base was particularly egregious.

i actually checked this house out when it was for sale a couple years back:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/7741-W-John-Cabot-Rd-Glendale-AZ-85308/8098314_zpid/?

previous owner seen here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33izVlIOgnQ

OH Man! I see what you're talking about. What were they thinking?

https://i.imgur.com/nNsZjTL.png

Wait, why's forks posting that?

Ha, that HDR bullshit makes me feel like I’m having a migraine, but somehow is in perfect sympatico with the heavily-larded, mo-money-mo-decor aesthetic of these places.

pplains did you see the rest of the pictures in that zillow link i posted?

Dazzle ship

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/fp/72ab75eb4e7b311ce50dbf5fad6bbca1-cc_ft_576.jpg

it looks like there's a paper-thin marble wall and a passageway behind it

the thought of being hungover in that bathroom is now my worst nightmare

pplains did you see the rest of the pictures in that zillow link i posted?

(I did, but an unphotoshopped flatscreen monitor really made want to smash!)

https://www.har.com/homedetail/300-noble-ave-fort-worth-tx-76140/6317160

*goes to Versailles once*

heart-shaped tub

Or is it a heart-shaped sink? Either way wft

The whiplash between the boring texas suburb exterior and the interior is just whoa

hmm maybe it is a sink but why is the faucet not against the wall?

not a real estate listing but i stumbled across this (don't ask me how)

https://www.google.com/maps/@48.3729215,14.0280896,3a,75y,214.49h,73.31t/data=!3m8!1e1!3m6!1sAF1QipOUpEC1SuddgVOLg46l9t2JCREO_zfDw1I6jlBy!2e10!3e11!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipOUpEC1SuddgVOLg46l9t2JCREO_zfDw1I6jlBy%3Dw203-h100-k-no-pi-0-ya181.1-ro-0-fo100!7i7680!8i3840

and it's pretty bonkers

i guess people just upload pictures of, like, their house to google maps? idk

pplains one is a baby trump starter house

xp looks like it's a furniture maker so that might be their showroom and not an actual residence

the only interior photobubbles in my neighborhood are the shared facilities of a condo complex, boring