L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

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http://i.imgur.com/AiwOUIW.jpg

I know what you're thinking: House like this is going to look like a steak house on the inside, right?

http://i.imgur.com/KwizWJz.jpg

You would be absolutely correct.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:51 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/MJTABtU.jpg

Nothing puts me more in my comfort zone than sitting on this folding chair, working at my awkward desk, breathing in fumes from the clothes dyer on a crisp winter's night.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:52 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/UWQNY8Y.jpg

"Get the fuck out of here, this used to be the garage?"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/RCL5xL2.jpg

"So hows long it been since you got made? Huh? Oh no..."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/HzQgMh3.jpg

Now let's see, 'When You Can't See God's Hand, Trust –––" WHA AAAAAHH! HOLY FUCK MY LEG!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (four years ago) link

I should post some from my area. The latest in Russian tryhard decor.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:48 (four years ago) link

Please do. This is an Open House.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:37 (four years ago) link

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (four years ago) link

Also, I love this shit so much. Gotta go find some corkers.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (four years ago) link

when we were househunting we looked at a place that was just like that converted garage, it was like there had been a terrible murder & they had just done a fly by night carpet/paint job.

oh and: no acoustics. completely dead sound. creeeeeeeepy as fuck.

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 06:09 (four years ago) link

There were a lot more fish in that barrel than I imagined last night when I started clicking around the local realtors map.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 14:17 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/lGxucgj.jpg

FOR SALE: The slightly worn set used by the short-lived cooking show "Food Times".

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:34 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/5K1rFTf.jpg

"Oh, don't mind me here, Irvin. You just go ahead and watch your football game."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:38 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/PGjSjlX.jpg

"I did it! I meditated and travelled back to 1974 to meet my true love!"

sees remote control on coffee table

"Nooooooooooo!!!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:40 (four years ago) link

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS1fcmx9hqs3b81000000000.jpg

After a long day at the office, I like to kick off my flip flops, snuggle up under a sleeping bag in my favorite lawn chair, and listen to a CD."

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:48 (four years ago) link

Whoops. Don't forget to turn on the spotlights.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:49 (four years ago) link

It's hard to reach the light switch when the earth is tilting like that.

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:50 (four years ago) link

lol the harp photo

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:52 (four years ago) link

I don't know if this goes here or on the your terrible ideas thread.

But browsing through the Memphis listings, decided there really should be an Eggleston Realty Co.

http://i.imgur.com/8em8sM5.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:44 (four years ago) link

"It's a fixer-upper, but you do get free Web access."

http://i.imgur.com/EDyjtXF.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:50 (four years ago) link

"This property's great, I just have to talk to my husband about – wait, is that someone playing a Peter Gabriel song?"

http://i.imgur.com/ki2KezG.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:51 (four years ago) link

"Just picture relaxing in your office, listening to the dryer tumble and smelling its fabric softener scented fumes. Can't picture it? Well, here..."

http://i.imgur.com/voX5sp4.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:53 (four years ago) link

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (Yesterday) Permalink

House painters and interior design mags convince people to do all kinds of stupid shit, often because it costs more and/or will seem tired in a few years. Painters convinced us to do a stupid-looking two-tone thing in our eat-in kitchen that I really regret. Walls really don't need to be two colors.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:56 (four years ago) link

The place in that pic costs $200 a week people. Melbourne is an expensive hell.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 17 December 2015 22:44 (four years ago) link

What is that room? And down here, what's going on with the mirrored top in front of the mirror with the ... air hockey puck on it?

http://i.imgur.com/72Mf62F.jpg

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:26 (four years ago) link

Anyway. Melbourne might be expensive, but blue paint sure ain't.

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:30 (four years ago) link

Ha, right? I think thats just a living room, with a laundry off it because that makes sense? Actually, tbf the ad was for a bungalow behind a house, so its probably only 2 rooms all told.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 18 December 2015 02:54 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/IV8btMU.png

They'll give you 15, but you'll only need five!

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:04 (four years ago) link

Ugh I fucking hate how narrow OFI windows are. And at such useless times, too, who has time to get off work and make to an opening at 5 if they work til 5.

I miss the days when you could just walk into an agents, pick up the keys for a bunch of properties and leave a fiddy for each one in deposit.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:15 (four years ago) link

I've tried to understand what's going on with Australian real estate, but it's hopeless.

For example, in the States, you hold an auction only if it's a foreclosure or it's a shitty property that no one wants. Apparently down there, it's the opposite - you take the photos and show your home, then wait for the big auction day where you'll likely get more than you asked for.

(Well, in Sydney, at least.)

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:22 (four years ago) link

Yeah sale by auction is something that crept in maybe 15-20 years back and seems ubiquitous now. And its precisely so they can make as much money as possible (a la ebay auctions I guess). I've been priced completely out of home ownership because I need $80k just for the *downpayment* and I just cannot get that sort of money together. Its insane.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:07 (four years ago) link

yes they listed with swastika graffiti intact http://www.movoto.com/quilcene-wa/411-sea-home-rd-quilcene-wa-98376-501_320196/
http://501.mlsimages.movoto.com/096/320196_14.jpg

alomar lines, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:15 (four years ago) link

Geez.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:17 (four years ago) link

I was thinking thats a lot of money for a shitshack but its on 7 acres of waterfront, that'd go for like 3 jillion here :(

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:18 (four years ago) link

"Yah, you can look at it that way, but didja know that in some cultures, it's a symbol of luck?"

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:32 (four years ago) link

its a banksy

am0n, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 16:13 (four years ago) link

three months pass...

I feel IA at the shape of the living room in this luxury condo in my neighborhood that also sells for nearly 3x the price of a nearly equivalent co-op apartment.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_2_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_3_0.jpg

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 15:34 (four years ago) link

You don't like that it ends at a point?

Look! You get that nifty little reading nook because of it. If it was flat, the nook would directly face the rest of the room.

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:06 (four years ago) link

IDK why it annoys me so much, partly just because it's so narrow compared to typical apartments in my neighborhood, which are mostly very spacious due to having been built in the 40s/50s. The point is awkward to me though, like it doesn't really look comfy as a nook, but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:09 (four years ago) link

but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

http://i.imgur.com/MobN7iy.jpg

Could that be the point?

http://i.imgur.com/btS0Gny.jpg

It does look narrow, but hey, isn't that life in the big city?

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:27 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/IZM4caY.jpg

"Can I get you anything? Perhaps some Pringles?"

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:32 (four years ago) link

xp, IDK it just looks like an awkward layout resulting from an awkwardly shaped building resulting from an effort to put the maximum # of apartments on an awkwardly shaped lot to me. And it's absurdly expensive for the area, although the terrace has a "bar pergola."

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:33 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/NmT5hLR.jpg

pplains, Friday, 29 April 2016 02:36 (three years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/bqI3ItM.jpg

"You may think that sign is corny, but you should've read what the original one said."

http://i.imgur.com/o65F4TB.jpg

- "Hey, Judy! Can you get me another beer?"

- "Sorry! I can't hear you! I'm in the kitchen!"

http://i.imgur.com/NJlddBA.jpg

- "I can't see very well in here. Does that say 'Haunted'?"

- "No, of course not. That would be silly. It says 'Wanted'."

http://i.imgur.com/fdjQJbr.jpg

"Well let me ask you something else: Are you a fan of Duke basketball? How about Israel?"

http://i.imgur.com/DtShLKV.jpg

Hmm. Maybe there's good reason why it's the loneliest number.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:04 (three years ago) link

http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISphukilm6juxw1000000000.jpg

"Pressure-washer gathering dust? Have we got the house for you!"

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:11 (three years ago) link

That one hits a little too close to home.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (three years ago) link

As in, that is my home - how did you find it.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (three years ago) link

i am truley sorry for your lots

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 16:45 (three years ago) link

that may be the ugliest house i've ever seen. also alan why u capitalize every single word

forensic plumber (harbl), Wednesday, 16 October 2019 00:48 (five months ago) link

oh i missed the flatness of it. ok. well whatever, it's ugly.

forensic plumber (harbl), Wednesday, 16 October 2019 00:49 (five months ago) link

wtf it's a wedge?

forensic plumber (harbl), Wednesday, 16 October 2019 00:50 (five months ago) link

pie house is extremely cool imo, all front lawns should be turned into community gardens or compact housing

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Wednesday, 16 October 2019 01:24 (five months ago) link

I like the idea but it does totally have that built in 2003 look.

Yerac, Wednesday, 16 October 2019 01:36 (five months ago) link

I thought it was one of those facade houses you see on a movie set, until I saw the actual listing.

I mean, don't sneeze too hard around that thing.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 October 2019 03:12 (five months ago) link

I do gotta say this house was made for those awful wide-angle shots they use in the listings.

I mean, Living Room Dim. 23 X 12. I almost wonder if it was built out of spite.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 October 2019 03:20 (five months ago) link

I just cracked myself up imagining the sound of all of harbl’s responses to that house as delivered by a pennsyltucky renovation contractor over a shitty PTT radio

I’m easily amused

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 16 October 2019 03:21 (five months ago) link

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/montlake-spite-house

alomar lines, Wednesday, 16 October 2019 04:48 (five months ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-65826048.html

koogs, Sunday, 3 November 2019 21:30 (five months ago) link

absolutely fucking deranged

non-euclidean lenin (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 3 November 2019 21:34 (five months ago) link

there's some kind of photoshop prankery going on here right?? what IS all that stuff everywhere on the walls? how is that one attic window even cut into that wall? the angles seem all screwed up!

weird ilx but sb (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 3 November 2019 22:55 (five months ago) link

electrical outlets?

esempio (crüt), Sunday, 3 November 2019 23:30 (five months ago) link

but............ so MANY

weird ilx but sb (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 3 November 2019 23:36 (five months ago) link

Almost looks like it was previously full of hospital beds or something.

jmm, Sunday, 3 November 2019 23:55 (five months ago) link

Even the shower had too many knobs.

Kinda curious what the stove range must've looked like.

pplains, Monday, 4 November 2019 00:30 (five months ago) link

I've also learned tonight what is a "chain-free" real estate deal.

pplains, Monday, 4 November 2019 00:32 (five months ago) link

Not crazy about "virtual staging," but at least it's pretty easy to spot:

https://i.imgur.com/3m4I8nS.jpg

While I can usually deduce if something is fake, now I'm having a hard time deciding if something's real:

https://i.imgur.com/AVY1DaB.jpg

The TV is definitely a virtual addition. The fireplace doesn't look right. And I about decided those couches were a figment of someone's imagination until:

https://i.imgur.com/9aAlfTZ.jpg

Those couches are floating, right? Then why go through all the trouble, but leave in the personal effects on the wall? But maybe the furniture is real.

https://i.imgur.com/xuYJ0xs.jpg

But seriously. Those televisions are weirding me out.

https://i.imgur.com/s8ZwWWo.jpg

pplains, Friday, 8 November 2019 19:26 (four months ago) link

ugh awful

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Friday, 8 November 2019 19:48 (four months ago) link

10010101010101010100
IN THESE MOMENTS
TIME STOOD STILL
01010100101010101010

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 8 November 2019 19:54 (four months ago) link

what if... none of the decor was real?

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 8 November 2019 19:57 (four months ago) link

lol which way is that bed supposed to be made up??

tv_on_a_stool.jpg like it ain’t no thang

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 8 November 2019 22:09 (four months ago) link

Maybe it really ain't no thang!

pplains, Friday, 8 November 2019 22:33 (four months ago) link

But man, I'll say this: There is some cheap real estate in El Paso, Texas.

pplains, Friday, 8 November 2019 22:33 (four months ago) link

it's bad if that is a neutral decor look.

Yerac, Friday, 8 November 2019 22:35 (four months ago) link

Those are some ugly ass virtual couches

June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Friday, 8 November 2019 22:52 (four months ago) link

Hello would you like to rent our murder house "ultimate in private living" residence.

https://i2.au.reastatic.net/1563x1013-resize,extend,r=33,g=40,b=46/c312196423fb40d1ffdbc8c9eeb5a97b9448bd5550c23338a73259ff4a835d4d/image.jpg

Nothing to see here, in your lovely original features bathroom. No, the bathtub was always that colour that isnt covering up any stains what are you on about.

https://i2.au.reastatic.net/1563x1013-resize,extend,r=33,g=40,b=46/3f45f5a3c60b9616880d5dd0981a2fd7da57c99ec8bb00d5bc7e7bbc91e83987/image.jpg

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 23:48 (four months ago) link

This fucking cunt wants $530 a week for this small 2 bedroom shithole on a really crap street.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 23:49 (four months ago) link

Yeah! Tell em bout (hit em where it hurts )

June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 23:52 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

last five hours to buy a fixer-upper New York civil war mansion for 50k (with 4k annual property taxes). would that i had any handyman capabilities
https://derosaexchange.com/james-seymour-mansion
https://derosaexchange.com/seymour-mansion-interior

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:46 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

What a fscking weirdo. This Dr should be giving out advice to no one

calstars, Friday, 3 January 2020 16:31 (three months ago) link

(he is not a licenced doctor btw)

don't care didn't ask still clappin (sic), Friday, 3 January 2020 16:47 (three months ago) link

i wouldn't have thought of dr phil as a kubrick bear fan

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 3 January 2020 17:11 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

I've never been more repulsed by something so beautiful.

https://i.imgur.com/V3JH26q.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 4 February 2020 03:56 (two months ago) link

that door just ruined my evening.

Yerac, Tuesday, 4 February 2020 04:05 (two months ago) link

lol

calstars, Tuesday, 4 February 2020 04:17 (two months ago) link

D:

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 4 February 2020 05:54 (two months ago) link

https://jalopnik.com/welcome-to-my-summer-cottage-1841520837

El Tomboto, Friday, 7 February 2020 23:51 (one month ago) link

Year Built
2012

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Friday, 7 February 2020 23:53 (one month ago) link

that's gotta be a spec house that's never been sold

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Friday, 7 February 2020 23:54 (one month ago) link

people are so bad at building appealing mansions

ciderpress, Saturday, 8 February 2020 02:02 (one month ago) link

if i can't imagine tiptoeing around it at night while holding a candlestick then im not interested

ciderpress, Saturday, 8 February 2020 02:04 (one month ago) link

That house is ugly af

calstars, Saturday, 8 February 2020 02:12 (one month ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/u4Gswtt.gif

pplains, Saturday, 8 February 2020 04:24 (one month ago) link

every room has a different ceiling
i want to punch someone

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 8 February 2020 16:59 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

"Well, putting a ramp down to the driveway would've been too steep."

https://i.imgur.com/3KD9dFS.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 28 March 2020 18:09 (one week ago) link

Tbh, when considering handicapped access, the grade of the ramp can’t be too high or you risk creating much worse problems.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 28 March 2020 18:17 (one week ago) link

I get that.

This half-and-half concept is pretty bold though.

pplains, Saturday, 28 March 2020 18:21 (one week ago) link

The front porch step is pretty high, and the rails are definitely made to support someone with working legs.

STILL.

pplains, Saturday, 28 March 2020 18:23 (one week ago) link


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