L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

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http://i.imgur.com/AiwOUIW.jpg

I know what you're thinking: House like this is going to look like a steak house on the inside, right?

http://i.imgur.com/KwizWJz.jpg

You would be absolutely correct.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:51 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/MJTABtU.jpg

Nothing puts me more in my comfort zone than sitting on this folding chair, working at my awkward desk, breathing in fumes from the clothes dyer on a crisp winter's night.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:52 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/UWQNY8Y.jpg

"Get the fuck out of here, this used to be the garage?"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/RCL5xL2.jpg

"So hows long it been since you got made? Huh? Oh no..."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/HzQgMh3.jpg

Now let's see, 'When You Can't See God's Hand, Trust –––" WHA AAAAAHH! HOLY FUCK MY LEG!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 02:57 (four years ago) link

I should post some from my area. The latest in Russian tryhard decor.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 03:48 (four years ago) link

Please do. This is an Open House.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:37 (four years ago) link

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (four years ago) link

Also, I love this shit so much. Gotta go find some corkers.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (four years ago) link

when we were househunting we looked at a place that was just like that converted garage, it was like there had been a terrible murder & they had just done a fly by night carpet/paint job.

oh and: no acoustics. completely dead sound. creeeeeeeepy as fuck.

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 06:09 (four years ago) link

There were a lot more fish in that barrel than I imagined last night when I started clicking around the local realtors map.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 14:17 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/lGxucgj.jpg

FOR SALE: The slightly worn set used by the short-lived cooking show "Food Times".

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:34 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/5K1rFTf.jpg

"Oh, don't mind me here, Irvin. You just go ahead and watch your football game."

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:38 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/PGjSjlX.jpg

"I did it! I meditated and travelled back to 1974 to meet my true love!"

sees remote control on coffee table

"Nooooooooooo!!!"

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:40 (four years ago) link

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS1fcmx9hqs3b81000000000.jpg

After a long day at the office, I like to kick off my flip flops, snuggle up under a sleeping bag in my favorite lawn chair, and listen to a CD."

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:48 (four years ago) link

Whoops. Don't forget to turn on the spotlights.

pplains, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:49 (four years ago) link

It's hard to reach the light switch when the earth is tilting like that.

how's life, Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:50 (four years ago) link

lol the harp photo

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 15:52 (four years ago) link

I don't know if this goes here or on the your terrible ideas thread.

But browsing through the Memphis listings, decided there really should be an Eggleston Realty Co.

http://i.imgur.com/8em8sM5.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:44 (four years ago) link

"It's a fixer-upper, but you do get free Web access."

http://i.imgur.com/EDyjtXF.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:50 (four years ago) link

"This property's great, I just have to talk to my husband about – wait, is that someone playing a Peter Gabriel song?"

http://i.imgur.com/ki2KezG.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:51 (four years ago) link

"Just picture relaxing in your office, listening to the dryer tumble and smelling its fabric softener scented fumes. Can't picture it? Well, here..."

http://i.imgur.com/voX5sp4.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:53 (four years ago) link

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (Yesterday) Permalink

House painters and interior design mags convince people to do all kinds of stupid shit, often because it costs more and/or will seem tired in a few years. Painters convinced us to do a stupid-looking two-tone thing in our eat-in kitchen that I really regret. Walls really don't need to be two colors.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 17 December 2015 15:56 (four years ago) link

The place in that pic costs $200 a week people. Melbourne is an expensive hell.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Thursday, 17 December 2015 22:44 (four years ago) link

What is that room? And down here, what's going on with the mirrored top in front of the mirror with the ... air hockey puck on it?

http://i.imgur.com/72Mf62F.jpg

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:26 (four years ago) link

Anyway. Melbourne might be expensive, but blue paint sure ain't.

pplains, Friday, 18 December 2015 01:30 (four years ago) link

Ha, right? I think thats just a living room, with a laundry off it because that makes sense? Actually, tbf the ad was for a bungalow behind a house, so its probably only 2 rooms all told.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Friday, 18 December 2015 02:54 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/IV8btMU.png

They'll give you 15, but you'll only need five!

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:04 (four years ago) link

Ugh I fucking hate how narrow OFI windows are. And at such useless times, too, who has time to get off work and make to an opening at 5 if they work til 5.

I miss the days when you could just walk into an agents, pick up the keys for a bunch of properties and leave a fiddy for each one in deposit.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:15 (four years ago) link

I've tried to understand what's going on with Australian real estate, but it's hopeless.

For example, in the States, you hold an auction only if it's a foreclosure or it's a shitty property that no one wants. Apparently down there, it's the opposite - you take the photos and show your home, then wait for the big auction day where you'll likely get more than you asked for.

(Well, in Sydney, at least.)

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 03:22 (four years ago) link

Yeah sale by auction is something that crept in maybe 15-20 years back and seems ubiquitous now. And its precisely so they can make as much money as possible (a la ebay auctions I guess). I've been priced completely out of home ownership because I need $80k just for the *downpayment* and I just cannot get that sort of money together. Its insane.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:07 (four years ago) link

yes they listed with swastika graffiti intact http://www.movoto.com/quilcene-wa/411-sea-home-rd-quilcene-wa-98376-501_320196/
http://501.mlsimages.movoto.com/096/320196_14.jpg

alomar lines, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:15 (four years ago) link

Geez.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:17 (four years ago) link

I was thinking thats a lot of money for a shitshack but its on 7 acres of waterfront, that'd go for like 3 jillion here :(

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:18 (four years ago) link

"Yah, you can look at it that way, but didja know that in some cultures, it's a symbol of luck?"

pplains, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 05:32 (four years ago) link

its a banksy

am0n, Tuesday, 22 December 2015 16:13 (four years ago) link

three months pass...

I feel IA at the shape of the living room in this luxury condo in my neighborhood that also sells for nearly 3x the price of a nearly equivalent co-op apartment.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_2_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_3_0.jpg

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 15:34 (four years ago) link

You don't like that it ends at a point?

Look! You get that nifty little reading nook because of it. If it was flat, the nook would directly face the rest of the room.

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:06 (four years ago) link

IDK why it annoys me so much, partly just because it's so narrow compared to typical apartments in my neighborhood, which are mostly very spacious due to having been built in the 40s/50s. The point is awkward to me though, like it doesn't really look comfy as a nook, but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:09 (four years ago) link

but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

http://i.imgur.com/MobN7iy.jpg

Could that be the point?

http://i.imgur.com/btS0Gny.jpg

It does look narrow, but hey, isn't that life in the big city?

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:27 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/IZM4caY.jpg

"Can I get you anything? Perhaps some Pringles?"

pplains, Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:32 (four years ago) link

xp, IDK it just looks like an awkward layout resulting from an awkwardly shaped building resulting from an effort to put the maximum # of apartments on an awkwardly shaped lot to me. And it's absurdly expensive for the area, although the terrace has a "bar pergola."

human life won't become a cat (man alive), Tuesday, 5 April 2016 16:33 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/NmT5hLR.jpg

pplains, Friday, 29 April 2016 02:36 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/bqI3ItM.jpg

"You may think that sign is corny, but you should've read what the original one said."

http://i.imgur.com/o65F4TB.jpg

- "Hey, Judy! Can you get me another beer?"

- "Sorry! I can't hear you! I'm in the kitchen!"

http://i.imgur.com/NJlddBA.jpg

- "I can't see very well in here. Does that say 'Haunted'?"

- "No, of course not. That would be silly. It says 'Wanted'."

http://i.imgur.com/fdjQJbr.jpg

"Well let me ask you something else: Are you a fan of Duke basketball? How about Israel?"

http://i.imgur.com/DtShLKV.jpg

Hmm. Maybe there's good reason why it's the loneliest number.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:04 (four years ago) link

http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISphukilm6juxw1000000000.jpg

"Pressure-washer gathering dust? Have we got the house for you!"

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:11 (four years ago) link

That one hits a little too close to home.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (four years ago) link

As in, that is my home - how did you find it.

pplains, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 15:21 (four years ago) link

i am truley sorry for your lots

how's life, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 16:45 (four years ago) link

Framed portrait of Gordon Jump in the red room killed me.

Boring, Maryland, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 00:01 (one month ago) link

the little things that get me about angel pink-floyd-album-cover are:

the little vacuum hose coil poking out of the tiniest under-stairway storage nook imaginable
the pillar outside the window
this house is apparently built on unoccupied moorland by the sea?
the statue above the staircase
the cord hanging down from the tv
the brown embroidered bed pillow square on the wall in the background, far-right

Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 00:31 (one month ago) link

Stairwell toilets pic.twitter.com/MyB2HzClIi

— Kerma (@kerma4kHD) October 21, 2020

here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 08:53 (one month ago) link

The last of those reminds me of when we were first house hunting in London. We rang a doorbell a few times for a viewing with no answer and were just about to leave when we heard a flushing noise and a wee old man appeared at the door. He then made the mistake of showing off his poorly ventilated Harry-Potter-Cupboard-Loo-Conversion first. The stench would have floored a horse.

here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 09:00 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://i.imgur.com/B0H5qiW.jpg

CONS

1. Those stairs.

2. Window going into ceiling.

3. No symmetry.

4. Each window opens in a different direction?

PROS

1. If you look at it long enough, you can trick your brain into thinking it sees a large-screen television showing a home show.

pplains, Saturday, 7 November 2020 20:39 (two weeks ago) link

The vertical hold is off in the bathroom again.

https://i.imgur.com/K40rSjL.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 12 November 2020 01:43 (one week ago) link

what is that catwalk? not to code

superdeep borehole (harbl), Thursday, 12 November 2020 01:48 (one week ago) link

My guess is the water heater.

pplains, Thursday, 12 November 2020 02:02 (one week ago) link

People, can we refrain from posting pictures of the Winchester House ITT?

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Thursday, 12 November 2020 02:04 (one week ago) link

I kinda like that first picture, apart from how the doorway opens onto the stairs, which is an accident waiting to happen.

koogs, Thursday, 12 November 2020 04:53 (one week ago) link

Don't rightly know how anyone could ever get disoriented and lose their balance at that spot.

pplains, Thursday, 12 November 2020 14:52 (one week ago) link

Found this master suite in an otherwise normal house and I gotta say, this is my kind of nightmare pic.twitter.com/1E2HAOflCW

— shadowfax 🐴 (@whyangelinawhy) November 15, 2020

ciderpress, Monday, 16 November 2020 14:26 (one week ago) link

Holy hell

The Bosom Manor Michaelmas Special (silby), Monday, 16 November 2020 17:14 (one week ago) link

seksy

Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Monday, 16 November 2020 17:59 (one week ago) link

The giant watch and the masked photographer

Computer, ENHANCE: (6ft tall watch on the back wall serving as a clock) pic.twitter.com/F9V8kku4N1

— POST OFFICE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU FUCK IT (@LumpySpaceBoat) November 16, 2020

Clean-up on ILX (onimo), Tuesday, 17 November 2020 00:57 (one week ago) link

Didn't Swatch used to make those?

Still do, in fact:

https://www.watchpapst.de/en/swatch/maxi-wall-clock.html

koogs, Tuesday, 17 November 2020 01:08 (one week ago) link

you can tell they're jewish because of the hall of pictures.

Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:20 (six days ago) link

not gonna lie, i fucking love that

mildew and sanctimony (soda), Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:24 (six days ago) link

It was a bad moment for humanity when real estate photographers discovered HDR

is right unfortunately (silby), Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:27 (six days ago) link

lol I was about to dub that house "The Jew's Nightmare"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:32 (six days ago) link

I won’t say there are no wealthy Jews with bad taste but I think even wealthy Jews with bad taste aren’t huge on Christmas

is right unfortunately (silby), Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:33 (six days ago) link

the house version of the disgustingly HDR burger

ciderpress, Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:35 (six days ago) link

it's perpetually startling when Xians prove their love of Jesus by displaying models of dead Jesus, who reputedly said 'do not worship images of me, especially when i'm rendered in extremis out of concrete'

mildew and sanctimony (soda), Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:37 (six days ago) link

aka how to tell the difference between Catholics and Protestants.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:42 (six days ago) link

I love it when a generic link like that gets posted because I know I'm about to go "Nice enough house. Kinda generic. Lot of work put into the driveway. Wonder why Spottie –– *needle scratch* –– Oh."

pplains, Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:47 (six days ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/TBy8ehC.png

"Did you remember to photoshop the bird into the screen? No? Oh God, no one's going to notice the rest of the room because they're going to be looking at that dark television monitor!"

pplains, Thursday, 19 November 2020 20:48 (six days ago) link

yah the bird on the screen lol. the bathroom with the rocky sink / toilet base was particularly egregious.

Spottie, Thursday, 19 November 2020 21:04 (six days ago) link

i actually checked this house out when it was for sale a couple years back:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/7741-W-John-Cabot-Rd-Glendale-AZ-85308/8098314_zpid/?

Spottie, Thursday, 19 November 2020 21:05 (six days ago) link

previous owner seen here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33izVlIOgnQ

Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 November 2020 21:16 (six days ago) link

OH Man! I see what you're talking about. What were they thinking?

https://i.imgur.com/nNsZjTL.png

Wait, why's forks posting that?

pplains, Thursday, 19 November 2020 21:34 (six days ago) link

Ha, that HDR bullshit makes me feel like I’m having a migraine, but somehow is in perfect sympatico with the heavily-larded, mo-money-mo-decor aesthetic of these places.

assert (MatthewK), Thursday, 19 November 2020 22:19 (six days ago) link

pplains did you see the rest of the pictures in that zillow link i posted?

Spottie, Thursday, 19 November 2020 22:24 (six days ago) link

it looks like there's a paper-thin marble wall and a passageway behind it

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 19 November 2020 22:38 (six days ago) link

the thought of being hungover in that bathroom is now my worst nightmare

a certain derecho (brownie), Thursday, 19 November 2020 22:43 (six days ago) link

pplains did you see the rest of the pictures in that zillow link i posted?

(I did, but an unphotoshopped flatscreen monitor really made want to smash!)

pplains, Friday, 20 November 2020 01:09 (five days ago) link

*goes to Versailles once*

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Sunday, 22 November 2020 17:15 (three days ago) link

heart-shaped tub

superdeep borehole (harbl), Sunday, 22 November 2020 18:39 (three days ago) link

Or is it a heart-shaped sink? Either way wft

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 22 November 2020 18:43 (three days ago) link

The whiplash between the boring texas suburb exterior and the interior is just whoa

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 22 November 2020 18:43 (three days ago) link

hmm maybe it is a sink but why is the faucet not against the wall?

superdeep borehole (harbl), Sunday, 22 November 2020 18:57 (three days ago) link

i guess people just upload pictures of, like, their house to google maps? idk

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 22 November 2020 20:59 (three days ago) link

pplains one is a baby trump starter house

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 22 November 2020 21:00 (three days ago) link

xp looks like it's a furniture maker so that might be their showroom and not an actual residence

ciderpress, Sunday, 22 November 2020 21:07 (three days ago) link

the only interior photobubbles in my neighborhood are the shared facilities of a condo complex, boring

ciderpress, Sunday, 22 November 2020 21:17 (three days ago) link


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