L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

omg the beach room
only $156k!

i unapologetically love that fucking place

wow

that is kind of wonderful

forks u should buy it nyc is dead suburbs is the new way

suburbs and also pittsburgh I guess

is that a hide rug on top of the beige carpet

bill hader stefon character "this house has everything..."

Listen

If you REALLY like adventure

You need this: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1-Columbia-Is-New-Rochelle-NY-10805/2084001407_zpid/

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/cc_ft_768/ISq9wosyu463t10000000000.webp

It looks like the Fyre Festival of luxury island houses

So baller
https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1344_1008/ISi3ucasqwx5t10000000000.webp

The listing style of that Fun & Adventure house, constantly zooming out on each photo, could not be more annoying

Island house - well, at least you'd be safely quarantined there...

https://i.imgur.com/tSoL5Jg.gif

Wasn't until it was animated that I noticed the patio furniture way up in the background by the house. Nice touch.

ZS vibes

I'll see your 16 million island prison and raise you a mega-garish 35 million imitation palais that is Trumpy as all fuck

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/10A-Dock-Ln-Great-Neck-NY-11024/2081244332_zpid/

perfect for the family with more money than god but no taste whatsoever.
http://i.imgur.com/nRN2rnI.png
http://i.imgur.com/Jks3dlN.png
http://i.imgur.com/1UR7yc9.png
http://i.imgur.com/HtYRoRV.png
http://i.imgur.com/71blA8t.png
http://i.imgur.com/j0gKdBi.png
PICK A FUCKING PATTERN

the filters these photographers use for real estate photography are out of control

they layer a lot.

it's HDR, right?

when the photographer who worked for c0c0r4n came to take pics of my place she said they take multiple frames of the same shot and then layer them all to get that saturation.

maybe that was just her method? but it seems that certain brokers have the same style/color on their sites for all the listings.

yah its mostly just extreme HDR but they do some other tricks too

oh wait i had to look up hdr. for some reason i thought it was a resolution thing.

yeah it's hdr

Hugely
Dumb
Rooms

for all their money, that is a shit tv in the last pic. and a clock like a dentist waiting room.

I could imagine living on the minecraft island house but not the Versaille hotel. At least not sleeping there, and definitely not taking LSD.

I see the same thing over and over again. Rich people do not know how to live.

the towels in the bathroom annoyed me the most.

Srsly having been looking non stop at listings for weeks now, the homes in the higher price ranges are way uglier than the cheaper ones on average

The French Limestone Mansion Faces A Rare Marble Fountain Imported From The Rothschild Estate In France, Contains Multiple Parquet De Versailles Floors, Boiserie Removed From Centuries-Old French Chateaus, Verre Eglomise Mirrors And Pietra Dura Floors.

Somehow capitalizing each word seems completely appropriate.

http://www.wfp.com/listing-showcase/property-details.asp?mlsid=MDMC678718#

keep going until you get to the basement

lmao it was honestly pretty tasteful for a rich person house until that point

that's a helluva twist

it looks like a funeral home. and then the basement... mary poppins meets the exorcist is about right

What the.

Never making fun on any regular man caves again.

https://i.imgur.com/FlW3LyP.jpg

A child's dream of a toy store and then...a massage parlor. This seems fine.

I'm kind of with the people on twitter who said if they were rich they'd do something similar. I mean, you're rich! Make it fun. Also Mary Poppins/The Exorcist double bill is hilarious. To be honest I'm more stuck on why you'd want a balcony overlooking your kitchen...

That does show a sense of humor, but I feel like the owners would be overly eager to show it to you and elbow you in the ribs to force you to laugh, like a Fred Willard character

separately I just don't get what people do with all that space -- scavenger hunts?

they dust

room for the maid, au pair, chef and then room for the grandkids when they visit iirc

To be honest I'm more stuck on why you'd want a balcony overlooking your kitchen...

― emil.y, Wednesday, May 27, 2020 11:23 AM

Yeah, this brought on some unfortunate barndominium flashbacks.

the basement is both awesome and exactly what man alive describes. at least it reflects some kind of personality - the whole rest of the house is an exhausting barrage of "rich people live like this, right?" tropes that i'm always stunned to be reminded still hold actual present-day appeal for large swaths of the ruling class. fuck them all! the little guest-building out in the yard seems like more house than i would know what to do with.

Not a listing photo, but I keep getting facebook ads for this bathroom renovation company called Block Renovations, and I'm deeply, irrationally angered by this sharp-cornered protruding shower shelf, probably because I just imagine myself half asleep injuring myself on it

https://images.ctfassets.net/q9rxrblsu2zi/5LdGQbtVpOfY5XVGldEQUr/9136921c9e7805b95cbdb85f10cb0d3a/colorblockindex_d_2x.jpg

the bathroom itself is not bad but a little cold for a home imo, like it looks more like a stall at some hip small contemporary art museum

yeah somewhere in between that and a recently-renovated hotel. the coordinated, neutral, blend-into-the-background beauty products are probably the main reason it seems impersonal. i mean in practice all a bathroom really needs is one or two personal art choices hung up.