L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

i've got one more for "y'all" https://youtu.be/Xi0Qh4fX2Tk?t=377
i'm planning a bedroom in my house right now and i'm really drawing some great inspiration from this disaster

― forensic plumber (harbl), Tuesday, April 28, 2020 9:53 AM bookmarkflaglink

Aggies. Should have known.

Here are the metal signs I was talking about.

https://i.imgur.com/uyE85bF.jpg

"As you can see, here in the bedroom we have the 'Don Quixote' Suite..."
https://i.imgur.com/0Usg9JR.jpg

"And over motherfucking here, we've got a Big Ass Fan for your Big Ass Shithouse."
https://i.imgur.com/KHc0jHW.jpg

If your kitchen looks like one of the two below, fine. I've been there. I lived in a trailer with my single mom when I was a kid. I was a bachelor living with five other guys in college. I'm not here to judge...

https://i.imgur.com/mRu74z9.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/K6SqxiX.jpg

...EXCEPT IF YOU PAID $1 MILLION DOLLARS FOR A 6000-SF BARNDOMINIUM TO DECORATE THIS WAY.

The kids rooms in every one of these are 80% more drab and depressing than any 300-SF bedroom shared by two siblings with applesauce cups all over the place.

https://i.imgur.com/8Hg0kp4.jpg

Speaking of depressing, welcome to The Grand Hall of Barndoanadu:

https://i.imgur.com/GU3U3DP.jpg

there was an article in the WSJ last year about the founder of big ass fans shopping for a manhattan townhouse. he has really good taste!

ugh that kid room is so upsetting

seriously, this thread went from fun to nihilistic.

we needed a 72" fan for our place and that name kept coming up. they have a crazy good reputation but they're really pricey.

find a need and brand it

with ass

you gotta expect to pay for ass

that kids room is just boring, nothing of note i dont think. people really like their layers of browns.

The Big Ass moniker evolved over time, said Mr. Smith, 67. The ventilation company, which produces fans for residential, commercial and heavy-duty industrial use, some priced (before the company sold) as high as $10,000, was originally known as the High Volume Low Speed Fan Company. But “people would call and say ‘Are you those guys who make those big ass fans?’” Mr. Smith remembered. After they renamed the company, critics called Mr. Smith to say he was going to hell and that he was contributing to a general coarsening of American culture, he said. “Preachers and ding dongs,” he dubbed them.

lol kinda tough tho cos upon seeing the name the first time i thought for sure it was owned by some meathead monster energy type of bro. kinda fun that it isnt

i'm a fan of "Live Laugh BARN"

big ass fans always use to advertise in Harpers and The Atlantic

it's hard to imagine, but I think I actually hate Texas more than i did 24 hours ago. That's saying something.

https://i.imgur.com/UKJbKBx.jpg

Ah, so that's where they got the phrase "Western Swing".

And they say Americans aren't ready yet for bidets.

https://i.imgur.com/QUpQhLG.jpg

"As you can see, here in the bedroom we have the 'Don Quixote' Suite..."
https://i.imgur.com/0Usg9JR.jpg

again with like 9 pillows on your bed. idgi. where do they do when you sleep??

where do they GO i mean

The kids' bunkbed with three bunks and only 14" of headroom per person was BLEAK. There was enough room for another bed in there but okay I guess channel some kind of prison camp that's fine!

coming here late to say

Fans, Grass or Ass: no one rides for free

urinal in your home, truly living the dream

beer keg urinal, no less.

amazing

xpost, woah on my phone didn't notice that 😍😍😍

recycling hyuk hyuk hyuk

Back to basics, my favorite reoccurring event on residential listings:

https://i.imgur.com/xzIIC2Y.jpg

what in the hell is that brick wall there for

that looks like a plaster wall put up by a photographer

That was exactly my question at first too.

that's a mirror, right?

That's a mirror.

And the photographer is peeking the lens through a crack in the open door.

ohhhhh. i was wondering about the open door. it was hard to figure out!

The range, cabinet and fridge look a lot closer in the mirror than they really sholuld. Plus, the shelf that's hidden from its own reflection due to the wall coming out.

Shelves.

https://i.imgur.com/TJPRaDb.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/bd4DZoP.jpg

trompe l'oeil

Not an image, but I've been puzzling over what this description means. It's like Schroedinger's Listing

The house is in good repair and move in condition, but needs renovation and updating. This is the perfect starter home. Home being sold "As Is"

lol - is anything ever sold as anything OTHER than 'as is'??

'Used bicycle - $200. if you buy it i will quickly do some repairs on it for free'

well most times you buy a house you can ask owner to make repairs, i got a new roof for example

The bigger question for me is how something can be in “move in condition” and also “need” renovation.

“you can live here just fine but all the fixin’s are dated as hell”

^ my house irl

a good real estate agent would know nothing is ever dated, rather it's charmingly retro

I drive a car that's in good repair and running condition, but believe me, it could also stand to be fixed and worked on.

man, if i saw this kitchen in an NYC apartment listing i would be salivating... that fridge is hideous and mismatched but just look at all that counter space! the only real problem with the mirror wall thing is the lack of a good visual boundary between it and the fake brick wall beneath. fix that and throw in a more colorful paint job and i'd be sitting pretty.

tbf, a barndo manhattan listing would go for mid nine figures