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An Iron Man balloon has triggered a major rescue operation after mistakenly being reported as a person wearing a jet pack over the waters in Fife.

HM Coastguard was called at 10:40am today after a witness reported seeing a person wearing a jet pack entering the water at Kirkcaldy.

The "person" had been seen hovering over the water and then disappeared.

ah yes, the classic blunder of assuming a floating human shape must be a person wearing a jetpack

(not local to me) (sadly)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EC6aRx1W4AEYVI0?format=png

https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/boxing-legend-carl-froch-says-3353675

i mean the thing that boxers box in is called a ring and *it* isn't round so maybe he has a point

'I can't get a signal in Calverton. They [astronauts] had a conversation with Nixon in space.'

It's good how his standard for truth that the earth is round is having Richard Branson, of all people, go up in space to confirm this

"i refuse to accept that a particle can also be a wave until richard branson is successfuly fired into the sun"

now that's an experiment I can get behind

https://i.imgur.com/MhZ47k7.jpg

"Talk to me, astronauts."

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-accused-shoplifting-says-i-3366800

"I felt like I was a little man, be it one with a large penis, against this big corporate company. It's so frustrating."

same

Would someone really go to the point of showing their penis if they weren't telling the truth?

two balls and the truth: the steve whitehurst story

When arrested one gang member was found with a Kinder Egg capsule stuffed with crack and heroin between his buttocks https://t.co/yCQ9aTB5Tb

— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) October 3, 2019

top row, second from the right

that's why they're illegal in the US

Fair enough, but there are still plenty of Americans walking around with crack between their buttocks.

Escaped pig closes A31 for more than four hours

A PIG forced the A31 in Farnham to close this Wednesday, after it escaped from a horse box and was stuck on the central reservation.

This part of the A31 is called the Hog's Back.

https://i.imgur.com/HEcD3t5.png

lol ffs

Drugs and weapons seized from Shifnal https://t.co/uemjW1ZDwJ pic.twitter.com/EDoibp72GK

— SHROPSHIRE (@DailySHROPSHIRE) January 6, 2020

this is shifnal (nearly all of it)l:

http://www.shifnal.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/image2-392x280.jpg

you can see the drugs in that picture

wow what a haul, great work coppers

They say everyone has a talent. Whether it's singing, playing the oboe or firing off free kicks on the football field.

But some talents are altogether weirder, as Holly Fairfax has discovered.

It took Holly many years to discover her unique, but now she's found it she wants to make the most of it.

So what is it? Well, her knees look just like Grant and Phil Mitchell from EastEnders - and she can even make them talk too!

Holly, 40, says she first noticed the uncanny likeness around seven years ago.

But it was only recently that she realised it was very unique and might even be something that others found entertaining.

https://i2-prod.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/article3721474.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_Untitled-design-2.png

They say everyone has a talent. Whether it's singing, playing the oboe or firing off free kicks on the football field.

But some talents are altogether weirder, as Holly Fairfax has discovered.

It took Holly many years to discover her unique, but now she's found it she wants to make the most of it.

So what is it? Well, her knees look just like Grant and Phil Mitchell from EastEnders - and she can even make them talk too!

Holly, 40, says she first noticed the uncanny likeness around seven years ago.

But it was only recently that she realised it was very unique and might even be something that others found entertaining.

https://i2-prod.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/article3721474.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_Untitled-design-2.png

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-massage-therapist-misconduct-book-summaries-1.5442239

A man has been spotted being questioned by police after walking a woman in a "dog gimp suit" on a leash along a busy Glasgow street.

Pictures posted online show two officers questioning the man along with the masked woman on Cathcart Road sometime between 11 and 11.30am this morning.

The moment was captured by roofer Iain Mcgeough, who has since gone viral after sharing it on Facebook.

He wrote: "Just witnessed a guy gettin pulled wae the cops for walking his burd on a leash with a dog gimp mask and everything on haha.

"Just another normal Monday morning in glesga eh haha".

https://www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/resources/images/11037421.jpg?type=article-full

haha

we do really need a Real Scotland thread

https://www.kark.com/news/local-news/neighborhood-terrorized-nightly-by-group-of-people/

https://i.imgur.com/oUiH9y2.gif

every sentence in that article sounds fake

Saline County

“We need some help or something,” said Joshua Wright, a homeowner.

Purple paint signifies no trespassing as well.

“You ask them to leave and they just stand there and look at you,” said an anonymous neighbor.

what the fuck is happening in Arkansas!!!

I thought maybe someone let a child mess around with the CMS but Haylee Brooks is evidently an adult woman

pplains I'm seriously losing it here what am I looking at

I’m just trying to imagine how the story tip came in. “People, a group of people, come to our neighborhood at night.”

“I’m not sure that’s a story for us”
“Well, they have flashlights”
“Don’t move I’ll be there with the van”

I’m seriously totally at sea here

I'm wondering if the lights at night came from ... newscameras?

Not local to me now but a few miles from where I grew up. Everyone used to call this town STRANGE RANGE for a reason

https://www.uppermichiganssource.com/content/news/Sheriffs-office--569576961.html

My local rag trying out new adjectives

Officers say the paramedics were treating a burly man when he suddenly lashed out and hit one paramedic with a crutch and threw another over a couch.

beware the burly man

paramedics were treating a hurdy gurdy man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6yXTAZKoyE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8Jx_Hq4J-Y

http://mindfulconstruct.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Burlyman-sticker-001-196x300.jpg

Love the local interest angle here

https://www.ayrshiredailynews.co.uk/post/south-ayrshire-golf-club-owner-loses-2020-presidential-election

Donald Trump, a South Ayrshire golf club owner, has lost the 2020 presidential election to Joe Biden

Classic Scottish local newspaper journalism.

An Annapolis woman said she could have been killed had it not been for the infamous “penis house.”

Melissa Shanker wasn’t planning to go out on Dec. 12, but she left her home on a whim — just before it burned to the ground — to see the home in Cape St. Claire that went viral on social media.

“The penis lights kept her from harm,” said Mary Newman, Shanker’s friend. “It was a Christmas miracle.”

The Green Holly Drive house Shanker rented the basement for herself and her 6-year-old daughter was already collapsing by the time firefighters got to it at 10:37 p.m. Fifty-five firefighters from five departments assisted in extinguishing the flames. One suffered minor burns and was taken to John Hopkins Bayview Medical Center.

Shanker left earlier that night when a friend asked to go check out the phallic light display. When they couldn’t find it, the women went back to Shanker’s house and were just about to head inside when she said another friend called saying she knew where the house was and asked for a ride.

When they got to the home on Ramblewood, Shanker and her friends were disappointed to see the rooftop display was not lit and they decided to head back to her place. That’s when Shanker’s roommate called and told her he had just escaped the burning house.

The home was a total loss, Shanker said, with nothing salvageable.

Shanker said she would have been asleep with her daughter on a normal night, and fears they would have been injured or worse her daughter not been there that night.

“Had we not been out looking for the Cape Penis house who knows what kinds of injuries myself and friends could have sustained,” Shanker said.

“Now, knowing that it could have saved our lives I’m more determined than ever to see the penis house relit.”

Capt. Russ Davies, spokesperson for the Anne Arundel County Fire Department, didn’t want to speculate about what could have happened had Shanker been home.

Investigators suspect the cause was an unattended wood fire or fireplace started on the back porch. Shanker and her friends may have found it earlier had they been home, Davies said, but all he knows now is she’s safe.

“It was a serious, fast-moving fire,” Davies said. “They certainly would have been in danger. By not being in the house, at all that definitely removes the risk.”

Heh. Just came here to post that. For context:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CIYfmQ2pIvL/?utm_source=ig_embed

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/131354640_114156307216105_6053515224115782788_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&ccb=2&_nc_sid=09cbfe&_nc_ohc=kHPYPNm8vAAAX9dMsIk&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&oh=d5a092219237545db2095b759989ab64&oe=6003C654