your most important local news story the world must know about

i saw this on the newsstand out here and for reasons that i hope are nerdily self-evident, it blew my mind
http://i.imgur.com/2peoF58.jpg

Satanic Temple of Seattle wants to join football coach's postgame prayer circle

This what it sounds like when you call in a plane crash to Pope County 911.

https://soundcloud.com/arkansasonline/pope-county-plane-crash-911-call

(Not NSFW or traumatizing or anything.)

wow

I think you mean "ohhh CRAP", forks.

http://gothamist.com/2015/11/28/police_this_guy_is_suspected_in_fou.php

This is in my immediate vicinity. I could smell a couple of the fires.

Update. As I suspected, the "riddler" arsonist schtick was a ruse, person identified by the note is fake. This is all happening in Bukharian Jewish mobland and the fires were all in under construction McPalaces. Story is getting better and better.

http://gothamist.com/2015/12/02/arsonist_cryptic.php

http://static.ijreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/pearlharborattackhonolulustar.jpg

had an artificially yellowed replica of this issue when i was a kid. i thought of it as ancient, which it wouldn't have been even if it had been real.

Made the Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/07/nyregion/sunday-fire-is-fifth-to-demolish-bukharian-home-sites-in-queens.html?&moduleDetail=section-news-1&action=click&contentCollection=N.Y.%20%2F%20Region®ion=Footer&module=MoreInSection&version=WhatsNext&contentID=WhatsNext&pgtype=article

FORT SMITH, Ark. (AP) - A hiker is facing long-term recovery after falling 25 to 30 feet through a hole in a rock formation in north-central Arkansas.

Deanna Jones says her son, 22-year-old Brandon Jones, slipped off the edge of the Glory Hole rock formation in the Ozark National Forest on Dec. 22 while hiking with a friend.

https://twitter.com/jseattle/status/703071541165096960

http://49.media.tumblr.com/43398eb425c6e0e2b1aa2c911018933d/tumblr_ngpo0ughiU1u5f8joo1_500.gif

lmao

http://www.twincities.com/2016/03/10/st-pauls-british-bandit-suspect-arrested-not-actually-british/

At the time of the robbery, law enforcement said the robber was also suspected of robbing a TCF Bank in Minneapolis and four St. Paul gas stations between Feb. 3 and 10. In those cases, the suspect also spoke with a British accent and wielded a gun, telling one cashier to “keep calm” and “hand over the money.”

After St. Paul police arrested Hess last week, they interviewed him and noticed he did not have a British accent, said Sgt. Mike Ernster, a police spokesman. Police found out Hess is from the Twin Cities and he told them he speaks with a British accent periodically, Ernster said.

note to locals: the story mentions "He was arrested last week at a University Avenue motel in St. Paul." which means it was either the days inn attached to tracks bar and grill or that creepo flophouse next to the dubliner

ow the mighty ave fallen eh enry iggins

Angry people in local newspapers

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cYyTG3IxQrg/VwO4JLT2mGI/AAAAAAAAve0/-1frwHQbg844lugVb-_JeKMuHR_H35LGQ/s640/000000.jpg

<3 identical disgruntled facial expression on both man and dog

that photo in hd: http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/resources/images/4913470/

So much great stuff there.

Fried egg left at scene of shed break-in

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c6O7VHlVGiI/VLKh58wVQLI/AAAAAAAAm-0/ksXqk0YIlUE/s1600/00000.jpg

Prince Paul Pony Moonlight Starshine, 70, on trial accused of knife attack

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276270/Article/images/29250713/14259014-large.jpg

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/14/nyregion/offer-of-free-hugs-turns-violent-in-times-square-police-say.html

a follow up to: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/27/nyregion/the-hugs-are-free-but-are-not-without-a-cost.html

http://www.capitalgazette.com/news/region/ph-ac-cn-harmony-song-0517-20160517-story.html

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Rogue-Cambridge-cow-reported-police-chasing-women/story-29392160-detail/story.html

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/rain-not-enough-to-dampen-2016-world-pea-shooting-championship-in-witcham/story-29495652-detail/story.html

http://carolinapublicpress.org/25156/nutz-r-us-abandons-name

tl;dr -- a parent company dba "Nutz R Us" operated three separate home care facilities for the mentally ill

jesus christ

http://www.eastbayexpress.com/oakland/badge-of-dishonor-top-oakland-police-department-officials-looked-away-as-east-bay-cops-sexually-exploited-and-trafficked-a-teenagerdepartmen/Content?oid=4832543

lots of cops solicit underage prostitute

Washington Post does a story on a small Danish school, a story that only reached local news recently: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2016/09/08/a-danish-school-now-separates-children-by-ethnicity/?tid=sm_tw

I saw the headlines yesterday, thought it seemed pretty smart, that they were thinking ethnicity into the process. Thought it was along the lines of busing. But no, they are actually making things more segregated, so that Danish teens don't have too many immigrants around them.

http://i.imgur.com/8WEOuKR.png

this is a fairly standard school uniform story, but what an excellent photo/headline combination

http://i1.liverpoolecho.co.uk/incoming/article11877759.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/JS99420090.jpg

napolis police are asking residents to call 9-1-1 if they spot a clown in an unusual place.

The request came Monday night after multiple children reported seeing a person or persons wearing a clown costume and face paint in Annapolis, the police department said in a statement.

Over the summer, reports of unsettling clown sightings by children in South Carolina and elsewhere made national news.

Children in Greenville County, South Carolina, told police clowns had tried to lure them into the woods, even offering them money to follow, according to a report by The New York Times.

Annapolis police, in their statement Monday, said media attention of those incidents have may have led to the reports in Annapolis.

Police said more than one child on Monday reported seeing a person or persons dressed as a clown in several Annapolis neighborhoods as far back as Thursday.

Incidents were reported in the 700 block of Newtowne Drive, Bens Drive near Victor Parkway and the 1400 block of Tyler Avenue.

The most recent sighting reportedly occurred around 8:30 a.m. Monday on Bens Drive.

Only children have reported seeing the clown or clowns, police said.

Anyone with information on the incidents is asked to call Annapolis detectives at 410-260-3439.

sorry that's ANnapolis, not napolis

I don't live anywhere near Northampton but anyway:
'A man entered the store and allegedly concealed a Venetian blind down one trouser leg and up the back of his jacket. He then left the store making no attempt to pay for the item.'

🗻

UPPER EAST SIDE, Manhattan (WABC) -- The infamous New York City woman known as The Spitting Lady of 77th Street was arrested for previously spitting on a 7-year-old child.

Hilda Delvalle Barrion Neuvo, who is homeless, was arrested on East 78th Street on Manhattan's Upper East Side Thursday morning.

She was charged with stalking and endangering the welfare of a child.

Her son, 44-year-old Gabriel Uno, was charged with menacing, reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon.

He was charged with throwing a table at a pedestrian on March 18.

Weird.

So, how did she get the nickname?

Stork builds nest on the biggest cross at my local cemetery! Woooo! http://www.gva.be/cnt/dmf20170410_02826550/ooievaar-bouwt-nest-op-begraafplaats

I had just taken a picture myself (without bird) when I found out it was in the news already

http://i64.tinypic.com/28jftk9.jpg

Next week:

"He has flown!"

"Um, I think you mean 'He has risen.'"

"No! Look!"

It's confusing but She was home today

http://i67.tinypic.com/2rcbggg.jpg

Dozens of snakes dumped in Arkansas Walmart parking lot

Cops Reel Off Banger Selfies For Absolutely Ratshit Bloke After Putting Him To Bed

Astoria delivers again

Weird organisms show up off the Oregon Coast in droves

Man shocked after giant human walks blue dog on quiet Dennistoun street

(update: that stork has left the nest, no young)

Meanwhile, breaking news! The local zoo's Alpaca's have had their annual shave!

http://i68.tinypic.com/2iazjug.jpg

https://www.facebook.com/Planckendael/photos/pcb.1642156125826618/1642055209170043/?type=3&theater

looking sharp

https://www.wcbi.com/video-high-off-hot-shot-latest-drug-trend-monroe-county/

“They take wasp spray and spray it on a screen wire. They hook it up to a battery charger and get it hot, which it crystallizes the wasp spray, and then they melt that down and then they shoot it into their veins,” says Cantrell.

Thanks for the description of the method, Cecil.

good lord

Bid to save Greyfriars Bobby from ‘lucky’ nose rub gains support

TOUR guides have stepped in to help the campaign to save Greyfriars Bobby from damage by warning tourists not to rub the beloved statue.

The moves comes after a Facebook campaign was launched in a bid to stop the spread of the recent habit of tourists rubbing Bobby in the belief it will bring them luck.

The trend has led to the coating of the famous statue being rubbed away, exposing the underlying brass metal on Bobby’s entire muzzle and parts of his chest.

Reel Edinburgh Tours has posted a public service announcement on its website in the hope of discouraging the practice.

“Bobby shouldn’t be rubbed under any circumstances,” the message states. “You see his little nose? It’s getting really shiny.

“Visitors to Edinburgh think it’s a tradition to rub the nose and it will bring good luck – it isn’t, so don’t! Do not rub Bobby!”

Karsten Moerman of City of the Dead Tours has been trying for several years to stop it. He said: “We’ve even put signs on Bobby asking people not to rub the nose, but someone always takes them down.”

Mercat Tours also said they discourage tourists from touching any of the city’s statues.

And local Steph Tees, 35 who regularly passes the statue, said: “I think he’s lovely but it’s a shame he is being ruined by this stupid tradition of touching his nose. It’s literally been in the last four or five years that it all of a sudden started – it got fixed and the next morning somebody had rubbed it off again and it’s upsetting and its a waste of money to keep fixing it and folk to keep doing that.

“Why would it bring you luck to rub it? I don’t know where these traditions come from.”

Passing by yesterday, actor John Conboy, who featured in the 2005 film Greyfriars Bobby, got behind the campaign by helping to hang a sign around Bobby’s neck.

Edinburgh broadcaster Grant Stott has spent years drawing the public’s attention to wee Bobby’s plight.

He said: “This all started for me two years ago, when I first started doing it for Radio Forth. I did it as a public service announcement to discourage people from touching Bobby at the weekend, or any other time.

“I have lived in Edinburgh all my life and I have certainly never touched Bobby in all my years here.

“It’s very much a tourist thing. Something as treasured as Greyfriars Bobby you want to be preserved and you don’t want his nose wearing away.

“We might have to enlist the help of the tour guides to spread the word – any local will tell you it’s never been something that will give you luck.”

Edinburgh council, who took charge of repairing the statue in 2013, supports the campaign to try and stop damage to Bobby’s nose.

A spokeswoman said: “We always request the city’s statues and monuments are treated respectfully, and it’s great so many local people agree.”

go and rub david hume's toe instead