your most important local news story the world must know about

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/bs-md-ocean-city-fatal-fire-20131126,0,1908643.story

A fire in a church rectory in Ocean City Tuesday that left two dead began when a person on fire entered the ministry's offices, according to the Episcopal Diocese of Easton.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/p480x480/1461195_10152008300848168_1702668643_n.jpg
"Maybe I'm wrong but I believe a tree like that, alive, is worth more than all the ukuleles and banjos in the world."

Damn
http://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/p480x480/1461195_10152008300848168_1702668643_n.jpg

fuckkk

wow o_o posting on IRE

Not my current local news but my hometown area. There are so many nostalgia triggers for me here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhAf7tipK9A

oh, glen burnie. "news".

http://www.annearundelbreakingnews.com/news-stories/shuga-land/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwMTsd_xeP8

glen burnie http://www.baltimoresun.com/features/baltimore-insider-blog/bal-little-girls-fashion-show-birthday-party-fiasco-sparks-law-suit-20140114,0,4598335.story

Merle-y Station

http://www.myfoxchicago.com/story/24460381/chi-fi-con-2014-canceled-after-westin-river-north-staff-called-guests-freaks

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/Blog/2014/01/24/Mayor-wants-to-change-name-of-Stillwater-Log-Jam-because-of-Urban-Dictionary-definition/2271390585571/

"I feel strongly against it because of its connotation," Harycki said. "Frankly, I didn't know that existed. I guess there's a whole subworld out there that I just found out about."

"They said, 'check it out,'" Harycki said. "And my wife is a teacher, and she told me, 'We use Urban Dictionary all the time to understand our students,' so I checked it out and there's quite a few variations. I'm not quite sure I understand them all."

http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_24980264/stillwater-asks-that-festival-name-be-changed-because

"The city has concerns over the name that was chosen," Harycki said Thursday. "We were made aware -- how can I put this delicately? -- that the name was a vulgar reference that we would prefer not to have associated with a family event in the city. We don't want to be the laughingstock of the nation."

End times, people!
Chobham tornado 'lifted cats in air'
Literally raining cats.

what the fuck

"Student lights self on fire; causes evacuation, closure of Standley Lake HS"

http://kwgn.com/2014/01/27/fire-causes-evacuation-closure-of-standley-lake-high-school/

how does anyone have the balls to show up for class in american high schools these days

jesus.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Police-launch-appeal-over-mystery-tea-pot-found-near-Cambridge-20140130114343.htm

Man in 'Haters Gonna Hate' cap wanted in bank robbery

Read more: http://www.baltimoresun.com/#ixzz2sJJ93Fdv

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/harford/forest-hill/ph-ag-jarrettsville-sledding-accident-0205-20140203,0,1486561.story

I thought the revive was gonna be for this one!

Search to resume for missing Ark. plane, pilot

ODEN, Ark. (AP) - Searchers will resume their look for a missing Arkansas Forestry Commission pilot and his airplane after wreckage from another crash on Rattlesnake Mountain in western Arkansas turned out to be from an accident many years ago.

Commission spokeswoman Adriane Barnes said Wednesday that searchers found the wreckage of a plane that crashed decades ago in Polk County - but that the plane had been previously found and its crash recorded. No remains were located with it.

Police: Ark. man shot after insulting gunman's mom

PINE BLUFF, Ark. (AP) - Police in Pine Bluff say a man was wounded in the leg by a gunman whose mother he insulted.

Authorities say 32-year-old Corey Henderson is wanted on first-degree battery charges for the Sunday shooting.

Investigators told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (http://is.gd/DRVRpy ) that the victim used a slur to indicate a woman he saw was a prostitute. Police allege Henderson heard the comment and became angry, saying that was his mother.

Police say Henderson drew a pistol and the victim apologized repeatedly, but Henderson fired several times, missing the victim. According to police, the victim then asked whether Henderson planned to actually shoot him, and Henderson allegedly shot him twice in the leg.

Police say the victim was treated at a hospital. Authorities are still looking for Henderson.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/q71/s720x720/1901609_10152133947553819_1339356289_n.jpg

the air of 'local boy done good' around this headline is something

that conviction looks a little fucked up, just an unhinged attention seeker who said some stupid things but made no conclusive steps towards actually acting upon them

imagine the fuss they'd have made of him if he'd gone and done it tho

yeah but it's made clear in the smaller headline that he isn't doing it because he is a republican, or because he has been diagnosed with a severe mental illness, but because he is a muslim

http://www.capitalgazette.com/blogs/under_the_dome/annapolis-police-chief-cites-hoax-story-in-opposition-to-marijuana/article_97c304e5-b485-5981-9197-9b5f9f5f97e7.html

*dies*

http://moneypennydd.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/smiley-shocked015.gif

good kicker to the article

“The only person I’ve ever seen overdose on marijuana had a big snack and fell asleep,” said Sen. Nancy Jacobs, R-Harford.

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/woman-sues-pub-after-alleged-mishap-at-ann-summers-party-1.1707236

the most perfect short story imaginable tbh

cosine

I will have predicted yr approval down to the precise line taken as a dn obv

"I never did nothing to no curry" is just one of the choice lines in that story

LIDL moved premises by about 1/4 of a mile I think. It's now on the main road through the section of town (not the bypass which is about a field a way from it) instead of the back of an industrial estate.
& they had a sale where I picked up a bagless vacuum cleaner for €25 so I can do my room and not have to worry about getting bags that you can't get locally.
Thrilling huh?

& in the not so real world u-torrent seems to have disposed of the dialogue box that allows you to check torrents before you download them and set location for them. So my head is being done in.

this story will break your heart.

Pheasant 'terrorist' tormenting a Cambridgeshire farm

Police investigation after wood pushed through cat-flap

filched stick and catflap

that's a beautiful article

http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/2014/04/02/mount-baker-man-frustrated-with-pot-he-gets-in-the-mail/

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Man-named-Mr-Bona-exposes-Llanelli-Asda/story-20837118-detail/story.html

"He wasn't going to win her back with that sort of behaviour."

http://imageshack.com/a/img855/3605/y5qg.jpg

Hectic news day in central Arkansas.

So much for a clean getaway.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Man-locked-in-Cambridge-Papa-Johns-pizza-takeaway-after-hours-steals-frozen-pepperoni-and-leaves-through-fire-escape-20140426070951.htm

Jeff Lewis, mitigating, revealed his client was already in prison

lol

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/04/29/closing-arguments-tuesday-in-little-falls-murder-trial/

not that funny, stress on important

could point to limits on 'castle doctrine' if it ever gets appealed?

http://djournal.com/news/dutschke-recants-guilty-plea-withdrawn-sentencing-hearing/

The guy who mailed ground-up castor beans to Barack Obama, Roger Wicker and a local judge (and then tried to frame an Elvis impersonator for it) has withdrawn his guilty plea.

Dutschke went on to talk about how he was a gardener and gardening was the only thing that could take his mind off of the allegations of fondling brought against him by some of his Taekwondo students in Lee County Circuit Court.

“Gardening is your distraction, it brings you closer to God,” he said, asking the judge to imagine herself in his loosely veiled metaphor. “You’re eager to clear your name and this provides distraction – each tiny sprout digging into the ground and stretching to the sun is like each of your students… There is no purpose more peaceful and nothing more sacred than that.”

In talking about gardening, Dutschke mentioned a castor fertilizer, which he claimed is a ricin protein made from the castor bean, but not ricin poison, saying, “You can’t have a victim of fertilizer.”

Dutschke said investigators found the ricin fertilizer, not ricin poison, and the charges against him are a part of a conspiracy between the FBI and U.S. Attorney’s Office.

To prove the contents of the letters weren’t poisonous, he said he would gladly eat them.

“Bring me the contents of the remaining two letters, I will dump the content onto a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and wash it down with a glass of chocolate milk,” he said. “We can solve this ridiculously absurd case here. If they are right, case closed, I’ll be dead and people can go on with their Kardashian-filled lives.”

Wait! You can't just quote that article without this bit:

He then issued demands, asking that his case be thrown out – saying it is the result of perjury – and asking for an investigation into the lies he accused the prosecutor and investigators of telling in open court, saying they played the judge like a “prom date bet.”

I bet that bit went over real well with that judge.