your most important local news story the world must know about

hahaha

@sheboyganscan
rocky knoll - 97yo woman drove there, thinks it's 1913, wants to know where her cane is, is becoming agitated

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2013/05/13/police-assault-prompted-too-many-pickles/CwBi5fQP8K2ZXn1Rkn7GaM/story.html

Police: Assault prompted by 'too many pickles'
AP / May 13, 2013

QUINCY, Mass. (AP) — Police say a Quincy woman is facing charges for allegedly punching a restaurant worker who put ‘‘too many pickles’’ on her steak and cheese sandwich.

Transit police say 49-year-old Tina Drouin ordered the sub from Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs in the Quincy Center subway/commuter rail station on Saturday afternoon.

Police say Drouin started loudly complaining, used a profanity, and demanded a refund.

When she was refused, she allegedly punched the worker in the face and pushed two large jars filled with pickles at the woman, knocking her over and shattering the jars.

She fled, but was followed by the worker, who held her until police arrived.

Drouin told police the worker put ‘‘too many pickles’’ on her sub.

She'll be summoned to court to face an assault charge.end of story marker

lol oops, bad edit

end of story, markers, so don't get any ideas at 7-11.

http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/state/video--nude-man-gets-high-on-fire-truck

was wondering if he chopped up the fire truck and snorted it or crumbled it over a blunt or what

Trying to prevent the council from pushing a pointless bus corridor through a pretty biodiverse stretch of woodlands that's 5 minutes walk away from where I'm sitting. Tought they'd canceled the idea after a petition had been signed by about 1000 people in the space of a week. & the road that I grabbed some of the earth from changed it's marked out route from heading straight towards the forest and veered towards where the gate of the school they're building is going to be.

People who are fighting against the bus corridor won't be 100% happy until the corridor is absolutely removed from the council agenda. I thought it had been but it's still there and will be coming up at council meetings.

Pointlessness of the corridor is that it knocks off 5 minutes at the outside on the route from Dublin/the East into Galway. & it's going to destroy some environment that simply cannot be replaced.

PUNTA GORDA -- A former corrections officer accused of videotaping a sexual encounter with a woman and uploading it to the Internet without her permission was sentenced to 12 months of probation at the Charlotte County Justice Center on Tuesday.

Nicholas Robert Fornaro, 26, of Edgewater, Md., pleaded no-contest to a second-degree misdemeanor charge of distributing obscene material. Another charge of video voyeurism was dropped. Circuit Judge Amy Hawthorne said Fornaro must undergo a psychiatric evaluation and pay a $500 fine, as well as $200 in court costs and $50 for prosecution charges.

Fornaro met the victim through a personal ad on an Internet website, then invited her to his Punta Gorda home in September, where he videotaped them having sex. Before she left, the victim said she asked for $60 in 'gas money,' and he gave her a shark's tooth, a report said.

The victim's brother found the video of her having sex with Fornaro while surfing a pornographic website, according to the report.

Fornaro had formerly worked at Charlotte Correctional Institution, but had quit to move to Maryland.

headline>>>article but still http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/knife-threat-leads-to-anal-cocaine-surprise

Sky rockets in flight....

Kitten dies after being rescued from Glen Burnie apartment wall

By ZOE READ zr✧✧✧@capgazn✧✧✧.c✧✧ | Posted: Tuesday, May 28, 2013 2:28 pm

A kitten less than one month old was euthanized Saturday after fire fighters rescued it from between the walls of an apartment complex, where it has been stuck for about a week.

On Friday Anne Arundel County Fire Department received a call from maintenance workers at an apartment complex on Nolpark Court in Glen Burnie reporting a cat stuck inside the wall of an apartment.

Employees of the apartment told the fire department that they had been hearing meowing noises coming from one of the residences.

“It seemed to be an unusual call, and it got our attention as we were on route to the location,” said Lt. Mark Muckelbauer of the South Glen Burnie Station. “We've had cats in trees, cats in storm drains, those aren't unusual calls, but having one inside a wall is unusual.”

Upon arrival Muckelbauer and other firefighters were directed to an apartment where they heard a faint sound of a cat coming from the living room wall.
The firemen then used a thermal imager, which helped them find the location of the cat. They then cut a small hole in the wall below the animal, and used a camera phone to look up the wall to ensure the location of the cat.

It was found sitting on the fire stop in the wall, and the fire department doesn't know how it got there.

“It looked like it had been there for a while,” Muckelbauer said.

After rescuing the kitten, the animal was sent to Animal Control. Officials there made the decision to euthanize it because of its injuries.
“The kitten was emaciated and extremely ill,” said police spokesman Justin Mulcahy. “Due to its condition, the kitten was euthanized for humane purposes at Animal Control to alleviate any further pain and suffering.”

Muckelbauer said he is disappointed to hear the news about the kitten, but is glad he could help in any way possible.

He and his fellow fire fighters didn't know the severity of the animals condition, but did their best to get the task at hand finished, he said.
“It's disappointing. I don't know what the condition of the cat was after the gentlemen from Animal Control took it. I guess they know what's best,” Muckelbauer said.

:(

And of course the first thought from some of us outsiders was "Well, who the hell does this Glen Burnie think he is?"

Nickname(s): "Chrome City"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=jnqF81jq0-g
you can really see the journalistic wheels turning
jump to 2.07 when you get bored

Tupelo to locate police department on seized property

Severed deer head left on Tesco shop till

holy fuckin shit

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2013/06/14/nazi-commander-minnesota

http://theon1on.com/

xp: jesus christ. That's horrifying.

Content on this page is being lovingly curated by the "Not the Onion" subreddit. Check out their community.

http://i.imgur.com/6PbF7EJ.png?1

this guy otm re that phrase and other self-congratulatory cliches http://www.theawl.com/2013/06/woah-its-lame-twitter

http://i.imgur.com/K0xV0dR.jpg

I had two of the most liberal parents in the world, but in my house, the word "fart" was on par with "shit" as a word polite folk do not use. I was surprised (and somewhat aghast) the first time I heard one of my friends say it in front of his parents.

My little girl says it now and I wince. And seeing that headline makes me slowly realize that my parents were insane.

what were you supposed to say instead?

(please don't say pooting, pleeeease don't say pooting)

odoriferous emanation

Vladimir oh gawwd no

my family just called it passing gas. I still feel weird about saying "fart." and I am crazy.

im the same as pp. i can say cunt all day long but fart ugh. its hard to type even. i say 'pop' btw. very adult.

i'm pp and crut and sunny
except "pop" wtf

As kids, we said "tooted."

After we turned 9, we never spoke of it again.

Well, except for my step-brother. He was like the Louis Armstrong of farting.

Lassiter Basket bought his .22-caliber handgun in 1963 and in recent years has fired it just twice a year — on New Year's Eve and the Fourth of July. He says he uses blanks for safety and shoots in the privacy of his Forest Park row house.

"Other people fire firecrackers," the white-haired 82-year-old said. "It's just a noisemaker."

But on Thursday, police say Basket had live ammunition in his gun when he fired off a round that blasted through the wall of his great-granddaughter's bedroom. While the 17-year-old escaped with minor wounds to her wrists and leg, the shooting serves as another reminder of the dangers of celebratory gunfire.

Basket said police are "mistaken" and that he's certain that he had a blank in the chamber, but Detective Angela Carter-Watson, a police spokeswoman, said investigators recovered evidence of a real bullet at the scene.

For years, officials have urged residents to refrain from celebratory gunfire as injuries mount. Celebratory gunfire this past New Year's Eve claimed the life of a Cecil County girl. In 2011, a falling bullet injured a 4-year-old boy at Fourth of July celebrations at the Inner Harbor.

Basket took Tashira Holley, his great-granddaughter, to a local hospital shortly before midnight Thursday.

He said he had walked out of his bedroom on the second floor, pointed the handgun down the hall and pulled the trigger, confident he had loaded it with blanks he keeps in a purple cloth bag that once held a bottle of Crown Royal whiskey. He said he keeps his real ammunition separate, in a Remington box.

To his surprise, the bullet wasn't harmless.

"She said, 'Granddad, I'm hit,' and I said, 'You can't be,' " Basket said.

Doctors tended to Holley's wounds and X-rayed her wrists but found no life-threatening injuries. Holley sat on the front porch of her house Friday with gauze bandages around both wrists, which were resting in her lap over pink Snoopy pajama pants.

"I wasn't surprised when it happened, but I was surprised when I saw the blood," Holley said. "I'm glad it's all right."

[...]

Basket said he kept his celebratory gunfire indoors and used blanks out of safety concerns. He stood by a citizen's right to bear arms.

"I think guns are necessary for people who know how to use them," Basket said. "If you don't have a way of protecting yourself, police are not going to be here to give you help."

Police have not charged Basket with any crime, but officers are consulting with the state's attorney's office about the matter, Carter-Watson said. Officers seized his weapon Thursday night, and he does not plan to replace it.

"It won't happen again because I'm not buying anything else," Basket said. "I have to now depend on the Police Department to do their job."

http://www.capitalgazette.com/news/for_the_record/man-swims-hours-to-save-family-after-boat-capsizes-off/article_5179d3ad-e3ae-5a07-be34-cac0681eb490.html

DEAL ISLAND — John Franklin Riggs swam for about five hours to get help for his family, including two children, after their small powerboat capsized in a storm.

Riggs climbed rocks along the shoreline in the dark and knocked on the door of the first house he saw early Wednesday.

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“He came to the right house,” said Angela Byrd, whose dog’s barking awakened her. She found 46-year-old Riggs outside, soaking wet and barefoot.

“He said, ‘I’ve been swimming since sundown. I need help,’ “ she said.

Byrd called 911 and rescuers were soon on their way to the 16-foot Carolina Skiff that capsized near Deal Island, southwest of Salisbury on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. Life jackets saved the boaters’ lives, said Sgt. Brian Albert of the Maryland Natural Resources Police.

A Maryland State Police helicopter hovered above the boat as firefighters from Deal Island, Mount Vernon and Fairmount in Somerset County and Westside in Wicomico County pulled alongside. The U.S. Coast Guard also was on the scene, Albert said.

Contessa Riggs of Washington said she clung to the boat for five hours with her 3-year-old son, Conrad Drake; her 70-year-old father, a retired commercial waterman also named John Riggs; and his 9-year-old granddaughter, Emily Horn, a fourth-grader visiting from the San Francisco Bay area.

“I’ve never been so happy to see search boats in my life,” Contessa Riggs said Wednesday. “It took him five hours to swim ashore. He had to stop and grab a crab pot buoy and rest, then swim.

“We clinged to the side of the boat and got stung by sea nettles in the dark,” she said.

Riggs’ niece, Emily, calls Riggs a “real hero.” She added that the next time the family goes fishing, “I’ll go if the water is really shallow.”

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/drug-links-suspected-as-dublin-man-27-shot-dead-1.1464200

See that wall? Thats my fuckin wall.

fuuuuck

ikr? had i gone to work at my usual time today id have been +/- 5 mins a witness

wow!

jesus deems

Its a nice estate, i mean really nice, the walls around it are u&k tho- lad was bottled more than half to death last week at 5.30pm at the next luas stop. Wouldnt say it was typical of kilmainham tho tbh, but we border crumlin, inchicore, rialto, areas with a little more rep to them.

But yeah, shit.lease up soon, so idk.

be careful D

I dont feel like 'just anyone' could get attacked tbh, the area feels safe to me, in terms of trouble wont come looking for you if you dont go looking for it first iykwim.

safe enough alright, just edging sw inner city realness. going in for a bit of the auld drug dealing wouldn't be the thing there at all

There is IRA graffiti above the flowers at the spot this AM

I mean i know its a neighbourhood watch area but

A TEENAGE boy remains in a critical but stable condition in hospital after a ‘BBQ exploded’ in Sidcup on Saturday evening.

Emergency services were called to Penhill Road at about 6.30pm to reports of four people burnt at a BBQ being held in a back garden.

A 17-year-old boy suffered severe burns and was rushed by land ambulance to King’s College Hospital, where he remains in a critical condition.

Three others, who suffered less severe burns, were taken by ambulance to a specialist burns unit at Broomfield Hospital in Chelmsford. The air ambulance landed nearby but was not needed.

Anne Kenton, 71, and Sidney Gillett, 81, were in their front room when they heard screams coming from next door.

Grandmother-of-four Ms Kenton said: “We thought it was just the children playing. I understand it was someone who threw petrol on the barbecue.

nb that is not local to here but its a classic ~local news~ freakshow

Grandmother of four

Sounds like a spy novel

"land ambulance"

"SEAGULL STOLE MY TEETH"

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10569408.Seagull_swoops_to_steal_pensioner_s_dentures_at_Bexhill_care_home