your most important local news story the world must know about

http://edgewater.patch.com/articles/leopold-guilty-on-two-counts-of-misconduct-in-office

how did I miss that my county executive was on trial for having his secretary empty his catheter bag?

you don't get fun stuff like that in montgomery county

http://www.peachpundit.com/2013/02/04/a-textbook-lesson-in-how-not-to-deal-with-capitol-press/

"That's the top of his head there... Those are his hands as he's sitting in a chair, trying to avoid our camera..."

lol

Know what a slow news day looks like?

Little Rock Man Almost Falls Victim to Phone Scam

Benjamin Filbert says he got a call Tuesday, and when he answered, a recording said it wants to help him find a job.

"In the beginning, I was going along with it because I was curious to see if I did click on something online," said Filbert.

Although the person on the other end sounded like a live person, Filbert had doubts. So he decided to hang up.

hahahaha

Area Man Almost Gets Fooled

http://heraldnet.com/article/20130215/NEWS01/702159923/1039/COMM0602

Blind rapper, woman arrested after victim robbed of car

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIP5vJSt5ho

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/farmer-who-put-repo-men-in-a-pig-pen-alleges-jury-misconduct-29087121.html

awesome.

FREE DONAL

Goat found wandering Hot Springs vanishes

HOT SPRINGS, Ark. (AP) - An unfriendly billy goat found wandering near the Hot Springs Convention Center appears to have been stolen from an animal shelter.

The goat was picked up by animal services last month and taken to the shelter, where officials say it was taken by someone on Saturday.

The Sentinel-Record reports that animal services director Dan Bugg had hoped the owner would turn up or someone would pay the $35 fee to adopt the animal.

Bugg says the goat didn't show warmth toward humans probably had to be dragged from his outdoor enclosure. Bugg says the goat is "pretty hard-headed."

The goat was to have been put up for adoption on Monday.

http://m.gawker.com/5988738/is-this-the-worst-headline-in-newspaper-history

a commenter beat me to the albini joke

Not my local, but

Potatoes are Irish comfort food

Popular, versatile potato has found its way into many traditional recipes

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s480x480/576195_10151291132007493_1022370062_n.jpg

So wait, that's not an acronym?

Canvey Island school bans triangle shaped flapjacks

School dinner staff have been banned from serving triangular flapjacks after one was thrown and hurt a pupil.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-21923218

http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/bookselling/article/56618-square-books-named-pw-bookstore-of-the-year-miller-rep.html

Square Books in Oxford (MS) named PW's bookstore of the year.

kinda love this whole thing http://www.wbaltv.com/news/maryland/baltimore-city/Homeowner-works-to-get-squatter-out-of-city-home/-/10131532/19517276/-/rnsgx0/-/index.html

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=24632284&nid=148&title=mountain-man-arrested-after-allegedly-firing-at-police&fm=home_page&s_cid=featured-1

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/04/suspected-shoplifter-cant-find-stolen-knife-gets-drunk-and-allgedly-spits-on-a-nurse-says-police

The Ringling Bros. Circus is in Tupelo this week, and one of its elephants was shot in a drive-by.

http://djournal.com/bookmark/22193906

Hastings MN, pride of the north

http://www.kare11.com/news/article/1020595/391/Hastings-toddler-found-with-booze-in-street

credit due to DJP for finding this

hmm lotta strange sentences there!

Officers began canvassing the neighborhood for the boy's parents. When no one claimed the 2-year-old, he was taken to the police department.

...

The father's home is located less than a block from the intersection where the boy was found.

"He was quite uncooperative with officers and ultimately that lead to his arrest for child endangerment," said Schnell.

His behavior appeared normal for a two-year-old, police said.

really super cool police work happening here

i like the implication that they are well versed in the behavior of drunk toddlers, and this kid just wasnt fitting the profile

also good god the dude interviewed who found the kid was KILLING me

http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/traffic-warden.jpg

so today is a lesson that criminals come in all sizes really

i bet they put that 2 year old in the most adorable handcuffs ever

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/04/11/newser-beaver-kills-man/2074145/

So it looks like the ricin letters to Roger Wicker, the Prez, and Lee County Justice Court Judge Sadie Holland were sent by one Kenneth Curtis of Corinth, MS. (Far northeast corner of the state)

Whadda maroon! He even put his initials on the letters.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/17/obama-ricin-letter-arrest_n_3104666.html

http://djournal.com/view/full_story/22280561/article-DEVELOPING---FBI--Corinth-man-arrested--accused-in-ricin-letters-to-Obama-and-Wicker?instance=home_news_right

They say he put his initials on there because he couldn't get on to Paul Finebaum to take credit.

I had to google P.F. but it was worth it for the lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm8AqL9FV-o

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

hahaha

@sheboyganscan
rocky knoll - 97yo woman drove there, thinks it's 1913, wants to know where her cane is, is becoming agitated

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2013/05/13/police-assault-prompted-too-many-pickles/CwBi5fQP8K2ZXn1Rkn7GaM/story.html

Police: Assault prompted by 'too many pickles'
AP / May 13, 2013

QUINCY, Mass. (AP) — Police say a Quincy woman is facing charges for allegedly punching a restaurant worker who put ‘‘too many pickles’’ on her steak and cheese sandwich.

Transit police say 49-year-old Tina Drouin ordered the sub from Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs in the Quincy Center subway/commuter rail station on Saturday afternoon.

Police say Drouin started loudly complaining, used a profanity, and demanded a refund.

When she was refused, she allegedly punched the worker in the face and pushed two large jars filled with pickles at the woman, knocking her over and shattering the jars.

She fled, but was followed by the worker, who held her until police arrived.

Drouin told police the worker put ‘‘too many pickles’’ on her sub.

She'll be summoned to court to face an assault charge.end of story marker

lol oops, bad edit

end of story, markers, so don't get any ideas at 7-11.

http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/state/video--nude-man-gets-high-on-fire-truck

was wondering if he chopped up the fire truck and snorted it or crumbled it over a blunt or what

Trying to prevent the council from pushing a pointless bus corridor through a pretty biodiverse stretch of woodlands that's 5 minutes walk away from where I'm sitting. Tought they'd canceled the idea after a petition had been signed by about 1000 people in the space of a week. & the road that I grabbed some of the earth from changed it's marked out route from heading straight towards the forest and veered towards where the gate of the school they're building is going to be.

People who are fighting against the bus corridor won't be 100% happy until the corridor is absolutely removed from the council agenda. I thought it had been but it's still there and will be coming up at council meetings.

Pointlessness of the corridor is that it knocks off 5 minutes at the outside on the route from Dublin/the East into Galway. & it's going to destroy some environment that simply cannot be replaced.

PUNTA GORDA -- A former corrections officer accused of videotaping a sexual encounter with a woman and uploading it to the Internet without her permission was sentenced to 12 months of probation at the Charlotte County Justice Center on Tuesday.

Nicholas Robert Fornaro, 26, of Edgewater, Md., pleaded no-contest to a second-degree misdemeanor charge of distributing obscene material. Another charge of video voyeurism was dropped. Circuit Judge Amy Hawthorne said Fornaro must undergo a psychiatric evaluation and pay a $500 fine, as well as $200 in court costs and $50 for prosecution charges.

Fornaro met the victim through a personal ad on an Internet website, then invited her to his Punta Gorda home in September, where he videotaped them having sex. Before she left, the victim said she asked for $60 in 'gas money,' and he gave her a shark's tooth, a report said.

The victim's brother found the video of her having sex with Fornaro while surfing a pornographic website, according to the report.

Fornaro had formerly worked at Charlotte Correctional Institution, but had quit to move to Maryland.

headline>>>article but still http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/knife-threat-leads-to-anal-cocaine-surprise