your most important local news story the world must know about

So many different ways to punctuate that sentence.

That sandcastle one, lol wtf.

EVERY NIPPLE HELPS: Nude woman strolls into Tesco

Clown arrested in west Ark. on child porn charge

FORT SMITH, Ark. (AP) - Authorities in western Arkansas have arrested a clown on a child porn charge.

Fort Smith police say they arrested 47-year-old Thomas Harold Morgan, who also goes by "Sondance the Clown" on Wednesday.

Police spokesman Cpl. Steven Dooly says investigators found someone downloading child pornography over a file-sharing network and tracked the Internet Service Provider account to Morgan.

Authorities and seized a number of digital items from Morgan's address and a preliminary check indicated there was illegal child porn.

Dooly says Morgan was not dressed like a clown when he was arrested.

A formal charge hasn't been filed yet and it wasn't clear whether Morgan has an attorney.

Morgan didn't respond to a phone or email message. Morgan's website says his educational background is in childhood development.

jesus

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/362/sondance3.jpg

Anyone can walk into a costume shop and buy a few jars of greasepaint. Anyone can visit a local thrift store and buy some strange-looking clothes. Many people can take those items and put them together to make a believable character. Maybe they can even learn to twist a few baloon animals and paint simple face designs. But a clown is something more - something deep inside.

I have spent over twenty years perfecting my craft. Not only makeup and costuming, but character development, stage presence, and other essential skills. My educational background is in childhood development, so I know how to interact with kids (and I'm pretty good with adults, too).

Copyright 2011, Sondance the Clown
All rights reserved. And a few lefts too.

http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/7964/screenshot20120620at502.png

Should keep an eye on this guy too.

http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/7964/screenshot20120620at502.png

oh man, there was a clown lived on my block named CHOO CHOO THE CLOWN who molested like five kids in the area and went to jail

CHOO CHOO!

I'm not even gonna ask if he molested all five at the same time because

they were all in a tiny car together

Really starting to not like this at all anymore.

http://citywirelive.tcwmediallc.netdna-cdn.com/sites/default/files/HERITAGE%20FEST%204.jpg

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1099682.1340277592!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_200/image.jpg

In front of Plaza Towers apartment moments ago, reportedly there is a black male "with no arms or legs" causing a disturbance and threatening to fight people.

When this call was dispatched the patrolman queried the dispatcher: "He's threatening to fight?"

http://www.fox16.com/media/lib/9/d/e/1/de18791e-d8a7-42e7-8e16-73d52f36af54/Story.jpg

HOT SPRINGS, AR - Hot Springs police have cancelled a Silver Alert for an 86-year-old woman who they say was missing and armed with a shotgun.

Police say Lillian E. Bruckner has been found, and was shopping for shotgun shells.

phew

SILVER ALERT

Plus, 10 states have missing persons alert systems with broader criteria than conventional Silver Alert programs. These missing person alerts apply to larger categories of endangered persons, or apply to all missing people, regardless of age or impairment:

Arizona, Endangered Persons Alert[40]
...

5 states have Silver Alert legislation pending:

California[50]
Hawaii[51]
Iowa[52]
Michigan[53]
Oregon[54]
Wisconsin[55]

I love how AZ has taken a step to avoid offending somebody about something for once.

lol

okay, this silver alert shit is getting a bit too broad for my tastes:

MONTOGOMERY SHERIFF, Ark. (KTHV) - A Silver Alert is activated for a missing man out of Black Springs.

Deputies say 44-year-old Lewis B. Caton Jr., has been missing since Thursday night around 8:15 p.m. He is 5' 9" and weights 181 lbs. He has brown hair and brown eyes.

Caton is possibly traveling with a black Labrador in a silver Honda Ridgeline pickup with license number WMY71S (New Jersey.)

Caton was reportedly released from Jersey Shore Medical in mid-June where he was diagnosed with narcissism personality disorder.

http://www.todaysthv.com/images/640/360/2/assetpool/images/120629091636_caton.jpg

http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/animated-siren-gif.gif SILVER ALERT http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/animated-siren-gif.gif

https://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6bvi49d0X1qkej80o1_500.png

Stronger beer starting Monday: http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20120630/BIZ/206300317/Trucks-loading-up-runs-into-Miss-

http://www.paisleydailyexpress.co.uk/renfrewshire-news/local-news-in-renfrewshire/paisley-news/2012/07/02/foul-mouthed-teenager-who-left-policeman-stunned-is-ordered-to-spend-20-months-behind-bars-87085-31289444/

"He told the officer on duty that he wished to provide information on a man who was armed with a knife.

When asked who that individual was, he replied 'me' and then produced a knife and brandished it.

He was once more swiftly overpowered and disarmed."

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Feds-Insurance-salesman-stole-2M-faked-own-3686886.php

Currently jailed, Aaron Travis Beaird is alleged to have attempted to fake his own death after he was confronted about the year-long fraud. A suicide note left at Deception Pass apparently didn’t dissuade federal investigators, who arrested Beaird on Tuesday.

Fargo II

An Enumclaw

unguent

...and that's the end of the Pig.

aw man. i used to love piggly wiggly. some of my first memories are of tagging along with my mom as she shopped there, and of the little stickers that you could save up to buy things.

i was the pig on a few occasions.
by which i mean i wore the suit and waved at passersby who would throw empties at my pink oversized head.

i don't live in SF, but

http://sfist.com/2012/07/26/volume_of_excrement_in_the_wheels_b.php

It seems that, in the middle of the city's white-hot mid-Market area, residence-free denizens have been pooping en masse at the bottom of the stairwells at the BART Civic Center station after it closes. And it's now an even bigger issue.

All those biological excretions can gum up the wheels and gears of BART's escalators, shutting them down for long periods of extended repairs, increasing station cleaning costs and creating an unpleasant aroma for morning commuters.
Five of the nine escalators that weren't working at BART stations on Wednesday were in downtown San Francisco, said Jim Allison, a BART spokesman. While there are many reasons a BART escalator can break down, the beating they take at night is among the most acute.

From my parents' neck of the woods.

Suspicious package in Columbia turns out to be an accordion

Howard County authorities spent Friday morning investigating a suspicious package on Cradlerock Way in Columbia, but it was later determined to be a harmless accordion.

Police and fire personnel had found the instrument inside an abandoned suitcase near the Owen Brown Interfaith Center, which houses a day care center in the 7246 Cradlerock Way, according to a fire department statement.

The state fire marshal bomb squad had been notified.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/howard/bs-md-ho-suspicious-package-20120803,0,7541265.story

no such thing as a harmless accordion.

accordion to you

Somebody's been going around posting the same comments about a millionaire Cuban exile offering Galway a statue of Lindsay Lohan to several different news sites. This was supposedly in response to the statue of Che Guevara being talked about going up in Salthill.
Seems that Che Guevara's family on one side came from Connemara which is the Atlantic coastal rural area above Galway. Story on the millionaire was that he'd offered a statue of Lindsay Lohan cos her dad had come from this area. Whereas it was a couple of generations earlier on the Guevara family tree. & the millionaire didn't want one of the revolutionary party to be commemorated.
But looks like it was a misfiring hoax.
I was just reading about it earlier.

Crazier story is that there is a U.S. congresswoman who is doing her best to scupper the plans to make the Che statue. This despite all moneys for it supposedly coming from Argentinian/Cuban embassies.

ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Police in Ann Arbor say they took a call from a man who was upset that the price he agreed to pay for prostitution services had increased unexpectedly.

AnnArbor.com reports police were called to a home late Wednesday on a report of a robbery. Police say the 45-year-old man and a 19-year-old woman he had contacted online agreed on a price, but the man claimed that she upped the cost after taking his money.

Police say the woman was arrested and the man wasn't taken into custody.

http://annapolis.patch.com/articles/person-falls-out-of-hospital-window-in-annapolis

Update (7:21 p.m.)—Chad Dillard, executive director of marketing at Anne Arundel Medical Center (AAMC), said a 40-year-old male patient used a piece of medical equipment to break a window and escape from arrest.

There was a fire in the newborns wing a couple weeks ago. Mothers and newborn babies and expectant mothers all got evacuated. Some teenage kid set another fire in an elevator back in June.

"newborns wing" = maternity ward

not mine but
http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Signed_sealed_undelivered

http://www.lep.co.uk/news/local/woman-burns-pie-1-60732

(we're not still doing holocaust pie jokes, are we?)

those jokes were on 77.

whoops, just dropped a tiny little clue about what happens on the other side of the wall.

ok nobody reads my mn headlines thread so

http://www.startribune.com/local/170277436.html?refer=y

Edina woman accused of making her nephew ride in trunk of Lexus

Article by: NICOLE NORFLEET , Star Tribune
Updated: September 18, 2012 - 9:16 PM

An Edina woman has been charged with child endangerment after she allegedly had her 11-year-old nephew ride in the trunk of her Lexus so he wouldn't drip water on its leather seats.

According to the criminal complaint, Susan Marie McCarty, 38, was charged after she admitted that she had her nephew get into the trunk because he was damp from going on a water ride at Valleyfair.

On the afternoon of Aug. 23, witnesses in a parking lot at the Shakopee amusement park reported seeing a boy climb into the trunk while two women watched. Witnesses gave police the license number of the car, and after being stopped by officers, McCarty told them the back seat console had been folded down so the boy could get some air.

When he said he was getting hot, she said, air vents were aimed at the hole, which was about the size of a piece of paper. Temperatures that day were in the mid 80s.

bump

Well goole, do you know how hard it is to fix water-damaged leather? Makes the whole car smell like beef jerky.