your most important local news story the world must know about

You live in Grand Junction? My wife and I passed through there on our honeymoon.

I know that Grand Junction is in the United States

local planet.

everything is locally sourced

http://www.thecourier.com.au/news/local/news/general/magpie-supporter-punches-wall-smashes-family-photo-in-anger-at-loss/2510972.aspx

Police prosecutor Sergeant Bob Anderson told the court that Dittmann had consumed a moderate amount of alcohol at home while watching the match in October.

But in the aftermath of the Magpie loss to Geelong, Dittmann struck his fist through a plaster wall in anger and smashed a family photo, which he was the owner of.

This is seriously currently on the front fucking page of the Age website. WTF.

Pornographic images force closure of Lynnwood espresso stand

Phil Bryant signed the beer law, raising the max ABW for brewing and sale in MS from 5% to 8%.

Great! Can't wait to get drunk faster on warm beer next time I'm in Oxford.

Man dies after swan attack
http://www.wgntv.com/news/wgntv-man-dies-in-swan-attack-apr16,0,3647240.story

Police say a man from Villa Park drowned after being attacked by a swan.

Anthony Hensley worked for a company that uses swans to chase away unwanted geese.

Just found out that we have a Superfund cleanup site in our town!

Handy site for finding out how many leaking underground storage tanks you have near you: http://www.homefacts.com/index.php

That site gave me fewer sex offenders than there actually are, made the police station seem 3 miles further away than it was, but inflated crime data by using the larger town next to mine instead.

also inflated our tornado score by using a town that's an hour away.

John Arden one time angry young man writer died the week before Easter and was cremated in Dublin.

SEARCY, Ark. (AP) - A White County judge candidate is in the hospital after suffering a snake bite.

Bill Haynie is challenging incumbent Michael Lincoln in the Republican primary for White County judge. Haynie's wife says her husband was driving from his office Sunday when he noticed one of his campaign signs had fallen down.

Judy Haynie tells The Daily Citizen that her husband reached into a grassy area and was bitten by the snake.

Judy Haynie says her husband's hand and arm were swollen up to his elbow, and two puncture marks were visible. She says her husband is in pain but is alert and expected to make a full recovery. She says he'll likely be discharged in a few days.

It is not known what type of snake bit Haynie.

check out this awesome letter to the editor from my hometown!

ON RACISM

Dear Editor,

OK, I admit it. I am a racist. I am bigoted. I am prejudiced. I admit this after much introspection and thought. I truly believe that my race is the best race in the entire world. I understand that many people believe it is wrong to be so self-centered. However, it is easy to claim you are the very best when it is true and provable! After all, I am a member of the American race! We are distinctly known around the world and have become our own race.

In a little over two centuries of existence, our race has made more progress than any other race in history. We are the leaders of the world in most aspects. The rest of the world looks to us for assistance whenever a natural disaster occurs or when their governments fail. We are the first to arrive with aid when people are suffering.

We of the American race have become strong due to our individual freedoms and self determination. We are achievers and doers. We have excelled when others have not. I am proud to be a member of the American Race.

How does one become a member of this God blessed group? You need to be here legally, to honor our flag, to honor our Constitution, and to speak our language (or learning to do so). While it is OK to retain much of one’s former culture, it is also important to assimilate into ours.

If we differ in color, backgrounds, experiences, ethnicities, or beliefs we can still stand beside each other in respect and help protect each other’s freedoms. As history shows, our differences can make us stronger rather than weaken us.
I tire of those who would apologize for our racial supremacy. We should do all possible to retain that excellence. I do not understand those who wish to make race a matter of something as trivial as color. We have earned racial pride as a nation- a result of all of us working together.

I am angry also at those who do not appreciate the sacrifice of our military personnel. While I am not a veteran my brother and father - along with countless others - risked their lives to protect our nation. A true member of the American race will honor and shake the hand of those very heroes.

It is time to regain the American pride that I knew as a child. In the above respect, it is OK to be a racist!

Read more: http://www.dailyjournalonline.com/news/opinion/mailbag/on-racism/article_6134d16c-8b63-11e1-bbf6-001a4bcf887a.html#ixzz1ssvtXcnH

But…. that's not a race.

"Sure I hate! I hate hate!"

"Do I believe in White Power? Sure I do! As long as you've got Red and Blue Power along side it too!"

We are the leaders of the world in most aspects.

looooooooooooooooooool learn to read a chart

While it is OK to retain much of one’s former culture, it is also important to assimilate into ours.

check out this awesome letter to the editor from my hometown!

― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, April 23, 2012 1:19 PM

haha. btw i found out the other day that a guy that went to my h.s. briefly is now "leader of the American National Socialist Workers' Party"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_White_(neo-Nazi)

But…. that's not a race.

― pplains, Monday, April 23, 2012 1:32 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Don't you watch American Dad? Huh?

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2012/0506/breaking16.html?via=mr

hunt continues for runaway tortoise

http://azstarnet.com/news/local/crime/tucson-man-shoots-gunman-who-won-t-stop-firing-weapon/article_da2d1894-9eab-11e1-91a1-001a4bcf887a.html

sounds like it may be getting a little ridiculous there.

yeah.

Coat Hanger Abortions Are Fine, Says Mississippi Lawmaker, Because ‘Hey, You Have To Have Moral Values’

Remember this guy?

SEARCY, Ark. (AP) - A White County judge candidate who was bitten on the hand by a snake last month is recovering from a spider bite to the same hand.

The Daily Citizen reported in Wednesday's editions that Bill Haynie was adjusting a water valve at his home near Searcy last week when he was bitten by what doctors believe was a black widow spider.

Haynie suffered chest pain, stomach cramps and facial swelling and was taken to White County Medical Center before being transferred to the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences in Little Rock Saturday.

Haynie was still at the hospital Wednesday. He says he anticipates being released later this week.

He's challenging incumbent Michael Lincoln in the May 22 Republican primary for county judge, which is the county's chief executive.

Same county where the blackbirds keep falling out of the sky, btw.

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/komo/article/Half-naked-woman-in-hot-pink-duct-tape-attacks-3572421.php

http://www.boston.com/metrodesk/2012/05/24/boxford-police-bovine-brewski-lovers-crash-party-leave-trail-evidence-you-wouldn-want-step/aFo4jrLUgLb6swzCZMr8PJ/story.html

You need to be here legally, to honor our flag, to honor our Constitution, and to speak our language (or learning to do so)

WAIT america has a language?

also im here legally, i say bye bye to 20ish% of my income in tax and im not allowed to vote . does taxation without representation ring a liberty bell american race??

hey look im racist too!

tbh, you did sign the petition for that screwy casino proposal.

hey i got to get that tax back somehow

SPOKANE, Wash. -

The suspect arrested for the murder of Warren Flinn said an argument over cigarettes led to his shooting.

Shane Smith, identified by his friends in court documents as "Psycho Shane", was arrested Tuesday and booked into the Spokane County Jail on a sole count of 2nd Degree Murder.

After his arrest, Smith admitted he shot Flinn twice in the back of the head. Smith reportedly has a habit of pulling guns on his acquaintances and accusing them of things they didn't do.

HUBER HEIGHTS, Ohio - An irate customer showed his displeasure in a big way Tuesday morning at the Taco Bell in southwest Ohio.

Police said that the man became angry when he ordered a $.99 taco at the drive-up window, and later saw that it wasn't in his bag when he looked.

Officers said that the man went back to the restaurant and started yelling at the cashier, ONN's affiliate WHIO reported.
After the argument, police said that's when the man rammed his truck into some glass at the side of the building.

According to officers, the man left the scene, but left a trail of automotive fluid. Police said that they followed the fluid trail back to the man's residence, where he was arrested.

http://www.onntv.com/content/stories/2012/05/29/story-car-into-taco-bell.html

No Taco Makes Man Ram Car Into Taco Bell

the man didn't even have a choice - the no taco made him

He had to make his tacowant known.

automotive fuiud

Not local to me but could easily have happened in Texas. Gotta love this “I looked on the shelf and where Rascal Flatts was supposed to be, that scruffy looking man had put Flatt & Smugs or something like that… "
http://www.countrycalifornia.com/local-man-arrested-for-merchandise-tampering-at-area-walmart/

(it's a hoax/satire page,fyi.)

The children and driver evacuated the van while two employees from the business extinguished flames coming from the engine, Minden said.

"It could have been tragic," Minden said at the scene. "Luckily this time nobody was hurt and it's just property damage."

No injuries were reported.

The van was reportedly carrying children who attend the Bright Future Learning Academy.

http://www.blog4logos.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/fire%20flames.jpg

lol

the irony... so delicious...

The story itself is truly horrible. This AP headline says it all.

Friend: Ark. boy hated sister he shot

http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/stabbing-at-robina-after-alleged-fight/story-e6frep26-1226388091969

Man found with fake genitalia in car charged with indecent exposure

Between Feb.16 and Feb. 22, the police and the college's public safety officers received several complaints of a man who had exposed himself, while in his car, to several women on the college's main campus in Arnold. The women provided police with a description of the car, which police located Friday on a campus parking lot. The man inside the Honda Accord was acting suspiciously, police said, and had fake genitalia in his possession.

After interviewing the suspect, officers learned he had simulated indecent exposure with a display of fake genitalia to women on several occasions on the campus.