your most important local news story the world must know about

Bird who likes to eat fried chicken. Sounds like a bad ass to me.

Police are investigating.

man who shot himself in the head outside the emergency room in North Baltimore's Union Memorial Hospital on Thursday left a note indicating he chose that locale because he wanted to donate his organs to medicine, according to law enforcement source.

Baltimore police reported that the 29-year-old man was severely injured and later transferred to Johns Hopkins Hospital, where he was in critical condition Thursday night. Officials declined to discuss other details about the note or the motivation, other than to say that homicide detectives are investigating the incident.

...

About an hour after the incident, George Hummel was serving hot dogs and chips to hospital workers at a stand on the corner.

He said he arrived around noon to relieve a woman who had been working that morning. It was her first day working at the stand, and the shooting shook her up, according to Hummel.

"First day, so of course she's gonna be scared," he said.

Hendrix College students were witness to a man fleeing from a "werewolf" when the subject's path led him through a campus dorm hall and a nearby apartment.

According to a Conway Police Department incident report, the subject kicked open the front door of a student's residence at Carrington Apartments on Cleveland Avenue, ran through the apartment and exited by jumping from the two-story balcony.

Students called police to report what they thought was a residential burglary in process, but the subject was gone upon officers' arrival.

The report stated that the school's public safety officers contacted police moments later to inform them that students were advising that a male subject who claimed to be running from a werewolf was in Galloway Hall.

When police made contact with the subject, age 27, he advised that he was in Walmart earlier in the night when he "noticed a strange red light."

The subject said that the red light "caused his body to start smoking," and he ran to the alley near Coin Laundry, where he had been sleeping.

The subject stated that a "large beast," which was covered in "gorilla fur," began to talk to him and told him to "get rid of the odor."

"The only thing (the subject) could think of is that he needed to disguise his own odor. (The subject) went to Carrington Apartments and took off all his clothes, threw them in the dryer with someone else's clothes, and then poured a gallon of bleach in the dryer. (The subject) then put on some more clothes and decided to scare the "werewolf" off. (The subject) attempted to light the bleach and clothes on fire but was unsuccessful," the report stated.

The subject stated that he became scared and kicked in the door of the nearby apartment when the "werewolf" threatened to kill him if he did not.

According to the report, the subject became convinced that one of the officers was the "werewolf" but was calmed when another officer advised that the subject's handcuffs were made of silver and would protect him from any werewolf.

"This seemed to make sense to (the subject) and he calmed down enough for me to take him to Unit 2," the report stated.

The subject was cited with three misdemeanors and held for Counseling Associates.

clever cop there

FAA: We'll be ready for Arkansas turkey drop

YELLVILLE, Ark. (AP) - No one in the northern Arkansas town of Yellville will say if they expect wild turkeys to fall from planes for this year's Turkey Trot Festival. But the Federal Aviation Administration says it will be watching.

Organizers of the festival long ago disavowed the tradition of letting wild turkeys fall from low-flying airplanes as spectators watched them glide to the ground.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has called the event cruel and offered a $5,000 reward for any information that leads to an arrest. And the FAA has tried to crack down on pilots who participate.

But someone continues to drop the turkeys. FAA spokesman Lynn Lunsford tells the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (http://bit.ly/riRPHL ) that no one in town will say who's responsible.

"Everybody says, 'We have no idea who it is,' but everybody knows who it is," Lunsford said in an article published Thursday.

The Turkey Trot pays homage to one of the state's biggest exports. Arkansas was the third-largest turkey producer of any state in 2010. Tyson Foods Inc. is headquartered in Springdale, in northwest Arkansas.

First held in 1946, the festival is also an attraction in the 1,200-person town. It includes a turkey-calling contest, a turkey dinner, and beauty pageants. And it once included a sanctioned "turkey drop" from the top of the local courthouse.

Now, the turkey drop is conducted by private citizens, Yellville Chamber of Commerce President Travis Doshier said.

"They keep themselves pretty well secluded," Doshier told the newspaper. He said he didn't know if they were planning another drop this year.

The FAA has tried to crack down before, Lunsford said. Officials have spoken to event organizers and at least one pilot who flew turkeys in the past.

The agency will dispatch a team this year to watch for planes. Lunsford said pilots who participate risk losing their licenses.

"If a plane flies over and a turkey comes out of it, we're going to be talking to somebody," he said.

Fans of the drop say it doesn't hurt the turkeys because they can use their wings to slow their descent. Doshier said the turkeys "just spread those big old wings they've got and glide" to the ground.

"We know that they can get up in the air because they get on trees and roofs," he said.

But Lunsford says he's seen video of a turkey falling straight down and bouncing off the roof of a building.

Roger Vickers, the sheriff in Marion County, told the newspaper that some turkeys do get hurt, "but that's going to happen with anything."

"It depends on what they fly into," he said.

The event starts Friday afternoon and runs through midnight Saturday.

several excellent quotes in there but my favorite is some turkeys do get hurt, "but that's going to happen with anything" (that you drop out of an airplane)

that story is perfect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FXSnoy71Q4

"If a plane flies over and a turkey comes out of it, we're going to be talking to somebody"

Just an update:

No turkeys fall on Arkansas festival this year

YELLVILLE, Ark. (AP) - Turns out turkeys don't fly.

The Baxter Bulletin (http://bit.ly/oaNN9V ) reports that attendees at the Turkey Trot festival in Yellville were disappointed when no turkeys were dropped from planes on Friday or Saturday.

The turkey drop is a mainstay of the event, though organizers don't sanction it. Supporters say the turkeys can fly just enough to descend safely, but animal-rights advocates call it cruel.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals posted a $5,000 bounty for any information leading to an arrest. And the Federal Aviation Administration said any pilots dropping turkeys could lose their licenses.

People at the festival wore "I am the Phantom Pilot" T-shirts, and at least one sign offered a $10,000 reward for the arrest of the PETA employee who came up with the $5,000 bounty.

I'll offer $20,000 for the arrest of the man holding the sign offering a $10,000 reward for the arrest of the PETA employee who came up with the $5,000 bounty, ad infinitum.

http://www.theage.com.au/national/topless-bingles--half-naked-woman--seen-driving-erratically-20111111-1nasw.html

http://www.paisleydailyexpress.co.uk/renfrewshire-news/local-news-in-renfrewshire/paisley-news/2011/11/10/fight-broke-out-at-party-after-man-urinated-on-another-guest-87085-29748334/

http://www.people.co.uk/2012/01/08/dad-so-drunk-he-lost-his-baby-on-way-home-102039-23687638/

Joel Ginger.

http://www.cityofmadison.com/incidentreports/incidentDetail.cfm?id=12963

um, wtf

http://www.dumbartonreporter.co.uk/news/roundup/articles/2012/01/20/422458-the-end-of-little-chef/

not local to me exactly, but very important

Two Cases Of Mad-Cow Disease, One Already Fatal, Reported In Marin

http://www.mediabistro.com/tvspy/veteran-kvoa-anchor-abruptly-resigns-following-alleged-shoplifting-incident_b39181

http://www.hometownannapolis.com/news/top/2012/02/22-29/Police-Route-3-road-rage-began-as-game.html

not usually how it ends http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Police-Men-in-double-killing-may-have-shot-each-3365287.php

http://www.baltimoresun.com/features/green/blog/bal-seal-visits-bmore-area-20120309,0,5992602.story

When he first spotted it, Warner said, "we thought it was a some kind of log or something..."

Oh, that is nuts! Hope the little guy finds his way.

Swear to God, they're going to name the airport Bill & Hillary Clinton National Airport.

So come down to visit me and sunny and have fun flying into Billary.

http://bellehaven.patch.com/articles/safeway-employees-to-protest-outside-belle-view-store

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/blog/bal-batman-pulled-over-by-montgomery-county-police-20120323,0,4078383.story

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/crime-scene/post/motorists-scoop-up-armored-car-cash/2012/03/23/gIQAn6Y9VS_blog.html

LAKE VILLAGE, AR - Two Louisiana men are dead after being hit by an eighteen wheeler.

Arkansas State Police investigators say 22-year-old Robert Christopher and 16-year-old Joshua Brooks both of Oak Grove, Louisiana, were fighting in the roadway, on Highway 82 in Chicot County around 1:30am on March 25, when they were struck by a truck heading eastbound.

Police say the driver of the truck, 42-year-old Donald Ray of Celeste, Texas, was not injured.

No word yet on the relationship between the two victims or what they were fighting about.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/26/war-on-words-nyc-dept-of-education-wants-50-forbidden-words-removed-from-standardized-tests/
"Fearing that certain words and topics can make students feel unpleasant, officials are requesting 50 or so words be removed from city-issued tests. The word “dinosaur” made the hit list because dinosaurs suggest evolution which creationists might not like, WCBS 880′s Marla Diamond reported. “Halloween” is targeted because it suggests paganism; a “birthday” might not be happy to all because it isn’t celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses."

Who the fuck cares about Jehovah's Witnesses?

Mississippi Legislature Attempts to Nudge State into 20th Century; Governor May Prefer 19th

Bill For Stronger Beer Headed To Miss. Governor
Alcohol Limit Could Be Raised To 8 Percent

JACKSON, Miss. -- A bill headed to the Mississippi governor would allow the sale of stronger beer in the state, including some craft beers that have been unavailable because of current regulations.

Senate Bill 2878 would permit the amount of alcohol by weight in beer to be raised from 5 percent to 8 percent.

The bill passed the House on Tuesday with no debate. It had passed the Senate on March 12.

Bryant's spokesman said the governor will study the bill once it hits his desk.

Democratic Sen. John Horhn, of Jackson, said Mississippi's current beer regulations are the strictest in the nation. He said some people are driving out of state to buy stronger brews, and that's causing Mississippi to lose some tax revenue.

http://gothamist.com/2012/03/29/what_the_heck_was_hanging_in_front.php

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7225/6882435486_2f92983986.jpg

http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2012/03/29/bear-saves-hiker-from-cougar-in-butte-county/

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/03/30/man-sentenced-after-accidentally-shooting-womans-mohawk-mistook-for-bird/

You live in Grand Junction? My wife and I passed through there on our honeymoon.

I know that Grand Junction is in the United States

local planet.

everything is locally sourced

http://www.thecourier.com.au/news/local/news/general/magpie-supporter-punches-wall-smashes-family-photo-in-anger-at-loss/2510972.aspx

Police prosecutor Sergeant Bob Anderson told the court that Dittmann had consumed a moderate amount of alcohol at home while watching the match in October.

But in the aftermath of the Magpie loss to Geelong, Dittmann struck his fist through a plaster wall in anger and smashed a family photo, which he was the owner of.

This is seriously currently on the front fucking page of the Age website. WTF.

Pornographic images force closure of Lynnwood espresso stand

Phil Bryant signed the beer law, raising the max ABW for brewing and sale in MS from 5% to 8%.

Great! Can't wait to get drunk faster on warm beer next time I'm in Oxford.

Man dies after swan attack
http://www.wgntv.com/news/wgntv-man-dies-in-swan-attack-apr16,0,3647240.story

Police say a man from Villa Park drowned after being attacked by a swan.

Anthony Hensley worked for a company that uses swans to chase away unwanted geese.

Just found out that we have a Superfund cleanup site in our town!

Handy site for finding out how many leaking underground storage tanks you have near you: http://www.homefacts.com/index.php

That site gave me fewer sex offenders than there actually are, made the police station seem 3 miles further away than it was, but inflated crime data by using the larger town next to mine instead.

also inflated our tornado score by using a town that's an hour away.

John Arden one time angry young man writer died the week before Easter and was cremated in Dublin.