Dressing ILX - Cattiest style guide ever

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Let's review some of the popular American status looks. Not that any of them, of course, can hold a candle to classic chic, but they are, in their own way, legitimate and prosperous looks.

Although these affluent styles are still flourishing regionally, they are no longer strictly indigenous to their native areas. It is, after all, a small world that we live in.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
L.A. Throwaway 7
East Coast Old Guard 5
Lone Star Chic 4
All-American Prepette 2
Hollywood Flash 1
Southern California Republican, or Mainstream Panache 1
Palm Beach Pizzazz 1


it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:36 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/OldGuard.jpg

"Old Guard," of course, means old money. How old is not necessarily important although it does seem to have a direct effect on the degree of dowdiness--the older the money, the greater the "dowd." "If it was good enough for grandmother, it is certainly good enough for me," appears to be the overriding fashion philosophy, in makeup and hairstyles as well as clothing. Only after careful scrutiny will you realize that their clothing is A-number-one choice quality.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:38 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/LoneStarChic.jpg

Lone Star Chic takes the opposite tack. There is no humility here about scads of money. After all, it took a lot of true grit, cows, and oil wells to make it; therefore all jewelry is out of the vault, and like everything else in Texas, it is big. Subtlety is obviously not the issue here. Curiously, although interest in fashion is prime, the Lone Star group seem to hold on to outmoded makeup and hair styles as long as possible. Teased hair and false eyelashes are the living testimonials.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:41 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/LAThrowaway.jpg

L.A. Throwaways have lots of money. They are young, or look young (thanks to the best cosmetic surgery money can buy), and are very health and body conscious. Their fashions confirm their wealth, but there is always something that is a throwaway--three-year-old Levi's or maybe cowboy boots--that lets you know even though they are obviously swimming in money, they are still "real folk." They will never be establishment dressers; they're still flower children at heart.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:43 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/HollywoodFlash.jpg

Unless a Hollywood starlet is under the wing of a "generous" movie mogul, she cannot yet afford the necessary L.A. status accoutrements to pull off a legitimate throwaway look. So, rather than downplaying what she doesn't have, she completely overdoes it and pretends to have more than she actually does. Once a starlet is discovered and has a few million of her own she can afford to put on the old Levi's--and then pull the Rolls deftly out from the three-car garage.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:46 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/PalmBeach.jpg

Contrary to the name, PBPs are not all that pizzazzy, but are actually the spiritual and tropical counterpart of the Old Guard. The tweeds of the north have been appropriately translated into cool linens, silks, and yes, even a hint of polyester (practicality ever present). Aside from the navy, colors have gone tropical and often match the swaying palm trees and pink-stucco mansions. Golf clothes are de rigueur.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:49 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/MainstreamPanache.jpg

At its best, SCR can be quite tasteful and dignified. At its worst, it can be boring, but it is never inelegant. These women could not be said to have great individual flair, but they do have the sense to choose top designers and stick with them for long intervals. This is not a harsh pronouncement, since true style is such a rare thing. SCR women do rather well in creating an aura of elegance with their impeccable grooming.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:51 (thirteen years ago) link

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e66/LimitedLiabilityGirl/Prepettecopy.jpg

All-American Prepette is the most blatantly American and comes the closest to being an actual uniform. The prep look (and actually some of the clothes) can take a woman comfortably and directly from her finishing school days right through to her country club years (after forty). Although ultimately understated, Prepettes could hardly be termed chic. One of the her more notable earmarks is her penchant for brilliant pastels and small repeating motifs like little maps of Nantucket.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:53 (thirteen years ago) link

In case she gets lost?

returning the native population to its violent 18th-century high (Michael White), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:57 (thirteen years ago) link

LA throwaway drawing looks like luke skywalker

shania law (crüt), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 19:59 (thirteen years ago) link

laurel <3 <3 <3 thank you

this is amazing

jackie tretorn (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:00 (thirteen years ago) link

la throwaway yall

puerile fantasies (Matt P), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:05 (thirteen years ago) link

i am very intrigued by the presence if that preppy turtle! i want to know his story.

anyway i love how dismissive and gently insulting these summaries are. so shady!

la throwaway is it, agreed

jackie tretorn (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:06 (thirteen years ago) link

You have to realize I just quoted the quotey high points, actually each style has 2 or 3 pages devoted to its strengths, weaknesses, and "Lessons" to take away!

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Also, on the page opposite the turtle, there are also an alligator, some double-hearts, and a spouting, smiling whale.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:18 (thirteen years ago) link

i agree with elmo on the turtle. its definitely swaying me to vote prepette

Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:40 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm kinda feeling the poor Lone Star Lady up there with the false...eyelashes. She and that Hollywood sex strumpet are the only two portrayed with breastssessses, it seems unfair. Apparently the truly chic have no discernible bodies under their clothes.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:44 (thirteen years ago) link

fantastic poll. great to be educated about all these prosperous looks. as a foreigner, prepette is irresistible.

ogmor, Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:44 (thirteen years ago) link

i like ECOG's tweed

jackie tretorn (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Ogmore: Young American women everywhere thank you, but please keep in mind this book is 30 years old.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 20:48 (thirteen years ago) link

lone star chic lady is totally the best one i don't care how tacky that makes me

horseshoe, Tuesday, 16 August 2011 21:03 (thirteen years ago) link

ECOG

returning the native population to its violent 18th-century high (Michael White), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 21:05 (thirteen years ago) link

PBP

The Freewheelin' Rebecca Black (Eazy), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:13 (thirteen years ago) link

palm beach 4 lyfe

Monstrous TumTum (Lamp), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:16 (thirteen years ago) link

im feeling ECOG aline skirt. the hardest part of this poll is first having to make a decision between couture and ready to wear.

Serial Chiller (sunny successor), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:38 (thirteen years ago) link

was thinking la throwaway looked the hippest, but voted hollywood flash. she looks like the only one that knows how to have fun

jaxon, Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:43 (thirteen years ago) link

jaxon otm

max, Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:45 (thirteen years ago) link

i still voted for la throwaway though, "fun" la girls will kill u

max, Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:46 (thirteen years ago) link

well the palm beach grandee looks like she could kill u with a single tossed off remark but i guess thats not everyones idea of fun

Monstrous TumTum (Lamp), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:46 (thirteen years ago) link

all of these women are true murderesses at heart

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:52 (thirteen years ago) link

"Jeeves, cut this wanton wretch!"

returning the native population to its violent 18th-century high (Michael White), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 22:55 (thirteen years ago) link

I'm voting "Lone Star Chic", to be the tops in Texas sounds fantastic. My personal style is probably LA throwaway which has connotations of "trash" to me.

ReRecorded, ReMastered (Mount Cleaners), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 23:07 (thirteen years ago) link

poor SCR! no one loves her. she looks depressed and seems to have broken her right hand while removing it from its glove.

jackie tretorn (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 23:15 (thirteen years ago) link

she has fibromyalgia

puerile fantasies (Matt P), Tuesday, 16 August 2011 23:17 (thirteen years ago) link

SCR is a part that you dress for/play when you don't know if your natural style will go over well enough, like other people's weddings/baby showers/dinner parties. All times when I basically impersonate my mother.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 01:07 (thirteen years ago) link

It's sad, because I think it's a telltale of a total lack of confidence in one's own style or preferences. It's kind of by definition an "acceptability" facade.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 01:13 (thirteen years ago) link

I have seen all of these except Hollywood Flash on the streets of DC within the last week

los blue jeans, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 01:37 (thirteen years ago) link

well maybe not Lone Star Chic either

laughing so hard at that turtle

los blue jeans, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 01:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Don't quite understand this thread and sincerely apologize for lowering the tone but I would totally do All-American Prepette. Back to your well-informed discussion of style.

A41 (admrl), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 01:39 (thirteen years ago) link

I have seen all of these except Hollywood Flash on the streets of DC within the last week

― los blue jeans, Tuesday, August 16, 2011 9:37 PM

was gonna say, plenty of prepettes on the streets of georgetown if you're interested

bentelec, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 02:10 (thirteen years ago) link

Georgetown, is that in Africa?

A41 (admrl), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 02:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Tomorrow I will scan the whale! It's at least as winning as the turtle, who seems to be the dark horse winner of this poll tbh.

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 02:22 (thirteen years ago) link

I love so many things about these illustrations, which I clearly remember from age 8 or so. The look on the face of the foreground dog in ECOG. The fact that Lady Texas is resting her well-contoured behind on some indistinct part of the state that is not actually an edge or a ledge, I mean wtf? That the LAT would fall over backwards if she were a real person standing like that. The Rolls-Royce behind the PBP -- in fact the author seems obsessed with RRs and mentions them like 5 times. That the poor SCR is the most lightly drawn and ghostly of any, she's actually disappearing as we look at her (and looks so pained by the fact).

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 02:28 (thirteen years ago) link

i kinda like the old guard lady the best

phil-two, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 06:21 (thirteen years ago) link

old guard lady still works today

moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 08:02 (thirteen years ago) link

it is the only one with, um, "contemporary" proportions ... that may be unintentional because she seems to taper to a freakishly small head ... but i think you could see that look in a jcrew catalog right now

moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 08:03 (thirteen years ago) link

i guess LA throwaway is technically current too though when i see people wearing pants tailored like that i think victim

moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 08:07 (thirteen years ago) link

i think i am trying to compare them to harem pants

moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 08:09 (thirteen years ago) link

do you mean hollywood flash?

Monstrous TumTum (Lamp), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 14:44 (thirteen years ago) link

i really love lonestar chic's furry cuffs

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 14:51 (thirteen years ago) link

i've had a number of halloween costumes with furry or feathery cuffs - very fun
i think my mittens/gloves this winter will have to have such cuffs

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 14:53 (thirteen years ago) link

lone star chic lady is totally the best one i don't care how tacky that makes me

Would love to dress like Lone Star Chic. Big hair, big boobs, big makeup!!

I do love preppy whales though, especially the pink and green one.

tokyo rosemary, Thursday, 18 August 2011 01:44 (thirteen years ago) link

no lamp, though i see hollywood flash is wearing harem pants too. i don't think hollywood flash is really a look even though you'll see people like amber rose or wiz khalifa dressing like that.

what i meant is that i have seen a lot of harem pants lately that have the same problems that LA throwaway has, at and just below the waist

moonship journey to baja, Thursday, 18 August 2011 02:22 (thirteen years ago) link

haha well i think those were intended to be fitted trousers and not harmer pants as i understand them but the crotch looks superweird and wrong in that illustration so who knows. maybe shes v fashion forward and is wearing those drop crotch pants idk

i mean i dont really get where that belt is supposed to be sitting in relation to her actual waist either so mb i just dont get it

all spice girls (Lamp), Thursday, 18 August 2011 02:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Let's also remember that the pub date on this thing is 1982, so pleated-waist pants were quite possibly all you could really GET?

it's not that print journalists don't have a sense of humour, it's just (Laurel), Thursday, 18 August 2011 02:42 (thirteen years ago) link

drop crotch pants, that's what they're called ... the 10th grader in charge of the "fashion club" at my school wears those sometimes

i think it's just a bad illustration ... though i didn't realize as current as 1982!

moonship journey to baja, Thursday, 18 August 2011 04:45 (thirteen years ago) link

as far as pleats go it was only one or two years after calvin klein brooke shields jeans craze so i don't think the back to superslim movement was quite in place yet, there was still a lot of deco fallout all over the place

moonship journey to baja, Thursday, 18 August 2011 04:47 (thirteen years ago) link

i just read like the janson's of fashion two weeks ago, sorry to get all mr peabody

moonship journey to baja, Thursday, 18 August 2011 04:50 (thirteen years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 29 August 2011 23:01 (thirteen years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 30 August 2011 23:01 (thirteen years ago) link


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