Items you could never wear

$85!!!

So Soft, We Couldn’t Name Them Anything Else

Why are Vajamas so soft? Because they're made with 100% Vagisoft. And just how soft is Vagisoft? Let us explain:

Once upon a time, the world of tactile technology was satisfied with “soft as a baby’s bottom” as the measure of absolute softness. Anyone who dared name something “softer than” the aforementioned infant’s posterior was suggesting a theoretical world of soft that existed beyond anything man could conceive.

Then Betabrand researchers invented the Tactile Soft-O-Meter®, a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness. Using this newfound knowledge, they were able to create pants so ineffably comfy, test subjects had to be removed from them with the Jaws of Life!

The Tactile Soft-O-Meter® is a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness.

But to the chagrin of our marketing department, the Soft-O-Meter indicated that the fabric measured “Vagisoft” within a standard deviation of one softron. Vagisoft? Well, we decided that if the Soft-O-meter says it, so be it!

unspeakably awful copy

They look like they're made from bath towels.

They look like they were made from that same stuff they sell at Target, like fuzzy throw blankets. Seriously I thought the professional yoga pants were trolling, but then i saw this. i don't even know what to think tbh.

Who buys these? Serious question.

this brand is like the west coast answer to Jersey style

Vagisoft

why vagisoft
why

A seam up the middle is never vagisoft

is it

why are they

how

okay wtf

i can never wear boat shoes -- like sperry topsiders type shoes -- because i get blisters on my heels.

maybe if they made boat shoes out of vagisoft material...

please never again use 'vagisoft' in a sentence and then go dot dot dot at us.

Maybe if they made men's shoes out of material named for vaginas...men would fuck them? I mean I'm not sure what I'm supposed to think there.

NB that is not serious, my contempt is entirely for whoever named that sanity-forsaken product.

cool it with the coy ellipses treeship

Having initially seen this thread title as "Items you could never wear in 17th Century Catholic Spain" my initial thought was probably a Star of David necklace. having re read the thread title, I guess that doesn't count.

http://static1.betabrands.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1150x673/0dc2d03fe217f8c83829496872af24a0/b/l/1150x673xblue_vajamas_8.jpg.pagespeed.ic.anTK4O3yq0.jpg

Family of the future.

Cat otm

hideous

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/t1/1891289_10152228919532171_247173884_n.jpg

I saw this in a Vanity Fair advertisement. Oh HELL no

http://www.tods.com/media/postcard/main_image-1011-6550-W_Doppia_A_SS14.jpg

the shoes are p ugly on their own but the dress? skirt/top? to me is like a hairdresser's smock, the kind you wear backwards

plus I would look like a sofa

wtf is this gigantic ankle length tshirt with a slit in it?! http://www.charlotterusse.com/product/Tops/entity/dc/999999/sc/3047/278171.uts

Just imagine how much fun you'll have styling this fabulous maxi tee! Jersey knit fabric forms a long sleeved, crew neck shirt that sweeps all the way to the floor, while sexy side slits cut all the way up to the waist.

like it's not a dress because there's a slit up to the waist
it's not a shirt because it goes all the way to the floor

Oooooh I am kinda down for that tbh. It's perfect for wearing over leggings to give you a little cover for your curves and a swishy movement for the eye.

Veg just reminded me tho: I hate, haaaaaate, driving shoes. I hereby promise that I will never wear them IN MY LIFE.

i dunno man
it seems kinda like a sheet with sleeves

I saw a very curvy woman wearing a short-sleeved one of those at a party on Sat, over extremely tight jeans. I thought "Well that's a new look" but on reflection I totally like it and might have to indulge. (Gives me an excuse to buy wildly patterned leggings that I can't wear without a lot of coverage around the hips.)

Possibly it looks like a sheet w sleeves (lol) because the model is quite thin?

maybe? i can imagine it looking somewhat ok if it were shorter and on a different person.

i'm not saying the whole concept is UGLY i just could never wear it without looking like a complete idiot

or a monk in a sweatshop robe

I'm sure even in 4" heels it would brush the floor on me, yes. The need to re-hem is real.

lol
http://www.thefader.com/2015/02/19/jncos-are-being-revived

haha i just saw this and my first thought was to post it somewhere here for ENBB

Glad I'm just in the age range for the new JNCOs.

i never knew what they were called before i saw enbb post about them here

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

lol this is amazing

fashion-forward sensibilities

(i would like to make it clear that I wouldn't actually buy them now)

Also i don't know who this is but this was basically me from 10th grade through sophomore year in college:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a8/39/a2/a839a222dc8bb66913fc2bf381925d8c.jpg

lol what a weird time

This is awesome news for fashion.

wait now I really want to know what you switched to sophomore year!

damn i used to love jncos when i was 13-14. i so badly coveted this pair of cordoruoy jncos my friend had, they were brown and the cords were like half an inch thick

Whether I was just too old for JNCOs or not in the right geographic location/groups, I was totally unaware of them until they were over. Content to remain unaware tbh.

how's life wrote this on thread why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk? on board I Love Everything on Jul 14, 2013

When I took my backpacking trip to Europe in 1997, I just brought two pairs of JNCOs, which I thought would be ok, because "hey, it's Europe! Ravers, right?" I got sonned so many times over those pants, including the time I rolled up to my first coffee shop in Amsterdam and the bartenders just fell over themselves laughing. "Your DADDY bought those trousers! Your DADDY bought those trousers!" I was pretty indignant that, no, I swear I had bought those trousers myself with the money I saved up from my job at Sam Goody.

Also had drunken soccer fans on a train through northern England sing this at me:

http://youtu.be/XJOLwy7un3U?t=2m22s

i'm a just a few years older than enbb but it's enough to be a generational divide when it comes to pants like this