Boobs, I mean, Bras, and the eternal frustration

I have been reading a lot of bra blogs recently. They are all pretty literate and awesome! Really into boobs these days. Like, Mr. Quincie has been on a "we should get an old porche" kick (note: this is not going to happen why b/c $$$, duh). And I down with that fantasy, but only if it is one of the years where the porches were really, really curvy, with big boob headlights.

quincie, I was going to say that if I had off on one of the days you are in NY, we could go yarn shopping, but maybe we should go bra shopping!

Been bra shopping today, nearly brought me to tears of frustration - plain black tshirt bras almost impossible to find in my (obviously very common) size unless it,s in one of m&s's many many two-packs with a white one >:-(

you are searching for the dream bra and you must therefore embody the dreamer on this quest

it will happen; just believe!

I believe

I bought some new ones today. I went down a band size. But some of the Ds and DDs made me look flat chested! Not cool.

Not bras, underpants (is there an underpants thread?) but:

I wish any underwear company would sell packs of cotton underpants in all black or all beige. Like ten to a pack. None of this "one black pair, and two other pairs with stupid bows and shit on them." Just a pack of black and a pack of beige. That's all I want. (And make a a pack of brown, too, since "beige" is not a neutral color on everybody.) I would be lifetime loyal to that brand.

o
t
m

2nd'ed

Marks and Spencer. Get yourselves to London.

(mail order also available but shipping...)

Yeah, M&S do all-black or all-white five-packs which are fairly cheap (in the UK!) but still reasonable quality. They do have an annoying habit of bringing out multicoloured packs of underpants or socks which I buy one of and then think "I like these, I'll buy more" only to find they've been discontinued. But that is the way of underwear.

I finally got measured (also in M&S - I mentioned my fear of the lingerie dept staff at my town's other department store) and it went p. well considering, but also it turned out the size I'd arrived at by guesswork and lots of trying on was more or less right and they're still not quite comfortable.

Also what is with buying the exact same bra in two colours and finding they aren't the same fit? Like, I bought the white/beige bra set which was suggested when I got measured, but they didn't have a black one in, so I went back a week later and tried the exact same one in black and had to go up a cup size and it still seems smaller. And I have a green Debenham's one which fits great, and I found an identical black one in the same size lurking in the back of my underwear drawer and was all like "oh wow, why haven't I been wearing this?" and an hour later I knew the answer was because the underwire spears my armpit every time I move. Grr.

I bought a strapless bra yesterday and I'm wearing today even though my top isn't strapless and OMG REVELATION: NO STRAPS TO FALL DOWN, EVER.

I might wear one of these every single day of my LYFE.

It's this one.

and it's staying up and not doing any weird fold-under stuff??

Yeah! It makes a little divot/line where the top edge sinks in a little, it's not completely perfect. But it has hidden underwires, and side-stays to keep it lying flat, and a wider band than normal (3 hooks in back) for extra security.

It makes a little divot/line where the top edge sinks in a little

I don't feel this is the problem you think it is......

i actually have a strapless dress on right with a built-in "bra" which i put in scare quotes bc built-in shelf bras only really work for boobs smaller than a small b. it's sort of working for me, but i think only bc the dress is black and therefore somewhat minimizing in that area
xps
hm! that sounds good!

I tried to get a smaller band size like everyone says, and I did end up with a D or something, but I still can't go smaller than 34 if I want to breathe. Also the store still only had two bras within the 3-4 size ranges I checked that weren't the foam cup kind. I bought both of them.

i want one

I'm definitely going to buy more, maybe not this exact model (then again, maybe so!) but more strapless bras in general.

this is prob better for another thread but i hardly ever wear strapless tops/dresses because of the too-sexy factor. which is partly in my imagination but partly not! like i don't think i want to leave the house in this dress even though it is nice and flattering and not formal or anything, but i feel like i'm all legs and boobs and bare skin. i have it on bc the friend who is the designer is having a soiree this evening and i am trying to decide which of her designs to wear. i mean, i don't really want to go out for coffee in this dress. but i know that some people totally would!

rrobyn, yes! I think for me, the strapless bra rides lower, or rather, the boobs aren't elevated as much, so more overall skin is exposed? I dunno - my strapless bra is super comfortable and when it's over 85 degrees out, that reticence just gives way

I so hear you on that. I don't really wear even tank tops that much because I feel really weirdly naked in them. If I do it's usually with a long skirt on the bottom. I realize it's all in my head but something strappy AND short and I just feel like TOO MUCH SKIN. I know people wear this stuff all the time but I don't and it makes me feel strange. I bought a sun dress recently that I love. It's totally not revealing by anyone's standards but my own and yet I still felt a bit weird in it.

i have a strapless super short shorts romper that makes me feel that way, but otherwise i would prefer to have less skin covered/with clothing touching it than more, esp in this heat!
mr calls me the rudest nudist

I don't think I've tried on a strapless bra since I was in a wedding in the late 80s. Wait no when I was thinner I had one of those pointless bandeau bras but that hardly counts.

They just look v uncomfortable with the plastic stayput piping inside and the side stays (die forever, side stays).

i wonder enbb if it is maybe at least partly because we are tall ladies? with broad shoulders + boobs? it's only in the past year that i've really taken to actually standing up straight and keeping my shoulders back and having excellent posture, which makes boobs stick out of course but there's nothing i can do about that, so adding a strapless dress on top of that is next next level

but really i think everyone should operate on his/her own standard of modesty -- wear what makes you feel good

lol rudist nudist!

x-post lol @ rudest nudist

R, I think it sort of does. For instance, if I wear a shorter skirt that's already a lot of leg and adding bear arms and shoulders to that means that all I see when I look in the mirror is skin and it seems like just too much. I have also only just started standing up straight (though I could still be better at it) and the boobs sticking out thing still catches me off guard!

lol "bear arms" oops

I've been going arms out a lot this summer bc 1) I have modest leanings but also maybe rely on that to hide my body and I want to get over it and 2) fuck everybody I'm hot.

I've started wearing really short skirts, not that this is the thread for it, but anyway...I put those stretchy "slimming" shorts underneath not for slimmingness but for coverage, and then I can bike in them like normal. The shorts underneath make me miraculously fine with wearing things that barely cover my kidneys.

yeah i saw a picture of me recently that a friend took while we were walking and i was wearing a red t-shirt and i thought "well, i guess i have boobs"
a rather enlightening self-observation on a few levels
xps to erika

i have broad shoulders and bear arms - though am way less hirsute than a bear tbh

Yeah I should really just get a some more tank tops and get over it. I shit you not though, I didn't wear sleeveless in public until I was like 27 or something ridiculous. I'm weirdly modest when it comes to clothes.

die forever, side stays

this. I scissored all of them out of my daily wear bras over the past month - no difference in the rolling up, so much less poking.

tell me more about these side stays

x-post - The modestly here is most definitely rooted in self-consciousness.

What is a side stay?

yeah it's funny - i wear short skirts often these days and bike in them all the time but when it comes to boobs esp re: cleavage i'm more modest

so i think i should therefore get over myself too and wear the strapless dress later!

I'm hearting these sidestays but the bra fabric is really thick, almost like neoprene. If it were thin/delicate, maybe the stays would be more noticeable through it.

i don't know what a side stay is either.

ha, see i'm kinda the opposite, i am not that self-conscious about cleavage, but any skirt or dress that runs even the remotest risk of riding up at butt level, i won't wear out of the house

Side stays are these straight "wires" (really flat plastic) that are about 3" long and are embedded about 2" from the outer edge of the underwire in the band of the bra - at just the right point to poke you severely in the tender underarm bits. They're meant to keep the back of the band from rolling up.

at just the right point to poke you severely in the tender underarm bits

which they do frequently in some of the bras that i own - this an important thing i have learned today!

Also, I shortened the band on 1 of mine by sewing each side up by about 1" as an experiment (lol cheap cheap cheap) and whoa, surprised at the difference in ride up/comfort, cup fit, etc.

I have I guess unstoppable, merciless side fat because the side stays always end up curving and molding around my body, which then turns them into this c-shaped torture device designed to jab me in the tender flesh under my arm. And also doesn't hold the bra up like it was supposed to do in the first place.

Oh ha, the other thing about sleevelessness is that I have tattoos on my shoulders and it feels like I shouldn't go all tats out at work. So I have been commuting while sleeveless and then putting a sweater on once I get to work and stop sweating everywhere. Except for just now when I got back from lunch and forgot to put on the sweater and got to chat with my boss about tattoos.

Honestly, I don't think anybody here would care but I hate HATE hate hate hate people coming up and touching my shoulder or (yes this happens) moving my shirt over a little because "Oh, you have tattoos???"