Boobs, I mean, Bras, and the eternal frustration

When I was in college I worked in a clothing store on Fire Island where I met this lady (friends with the owner) who owned a really fancy shmancy lingerie store in the city that I always wanted to go to. It used to be in magazines and stuff. Pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to afford anything there but I'm sure it was all amazing.

Oh I just remembered that it was on University Pl. This is is: http://nymag.com/listings/stores/la_petite_coquette/

Wish I could go there to check it out.

ENBB, I was looking at night gowns on their website and thinking well, those might be what I'm looking for, oh hang on $325?? For cotton??

lol, yeah

IIRC the shop used to be by appointment only at one point. The lady was European and nuts but she sure knew her stuff about lingerie. If I knew then what I know now I'd totally have tried to score some free (or heavily heavily discounted) loot.

And another hell yeah here.

I had a couple of bra fitting sessions when I was young and thin(ner) and I was nervous but both times I got awesome matronly ladies in their late 50s or early 60s which was just fine.

But now my town's department store lingerie dept is staffed entirely by super-skinny, super-made-up teenagers, who I imagine spending their breaks going "oh my goddddd, I know, right" about their more unreasonable or whale-like customers, and, oh, the thought of baring this much flesh, and asking them to probe its saggier folds... (shudder)

I suppose I have been lucky that my GP's practice nurse has always been older than me by enough to feel only slightly terrible about smear tests etc, but it's getting increasingly untenable to hope to be measured or felt or scraped only by people at least a decade older than me. ho hum

For some reason GYN appointments and bra fittings (I've done it before just years ago) have never bothered me at all even though I'm pretty modest body-wise in most situations. I just remind myself that they've seen it all before and that's it's their job. They're not even looking at your really - just going through the motions of the task at hand. That's always helped me a lot.

I think that assisting with/being present for gyn appointments drove this point home even more for me when I realized that I had just seen a total strangers most intimate parts but that I really hadn't even noticed or registered it as strange at the time.

if you're getting fitted in a dept store, best to go somewhere that they have a wide range of sizes. once i got fitted at von maur (midwestern suburban store) and they put me in a size that they carried rather than my actual size. much easier to sell me lots if they have a variety of choices in my size, i suppose. it was a bigger size than i'd been wearing, but still wrong!

i've heard that this is common. victoria's secret is known for sizing like this, but other places too. (so it's good to measure yourself in addition to having it professionally done, to have an idea)

Space Cadet, I would not want a tittering youngster to size me for a bra, either.

Lane Bryant will TOTALLY lie about your bra size to sell you their shitty bras*. One aggressive sales person was pushing their bras during a BOGO sale. When. Told her they didn't carry my size, she insisted that my size was wrong and that I should try on some 42DD bullshit.

God I hate that store.

*I think I've mentioned this, but on days when I can't mentally deal with strapping into a proper underwire, or when I don't care what my "silhouette" looks like, I wear LB cotton no underwire bras. They are not the correct size but they're comfortable and close enough.

I think that assisting with/being present for gyn appointments drove this point home even more for me when I realized that I had just seen a total strangers most intimate parts but that I really hadn't even noticed or registered it as strange at the time.

I just this morning put my finger in an older gentlemans butt and it was the most w/e situation

Heeeellll yeah, Quincie. Also: which Nordstrom? Friendship Heights? I am the :-( silhouette in the illustration above.

i have never even considered doing this, but you guys have me almost convinced. why do i want to do this (have my boobs measured by a pro) again? i'm not averse to the actual measuring, i just don't feel like going out of my way to do it.

Well, if you're not having any problems with bras fitting or clothes fitting over them, then maybe there's not much reason!

Since the professional guidelines advise most people to go down like 4 band sizes, I'm wondering if that could solve my strap-losing probs, which haps to me every 10 minutes and is a quality of life issue. A smaller band should have straps spaced closer together and less likely to slip?

yeah, i guess i don't have any of those problems tbh

Also I have some bras that the wires dig painfully into my soft tissues, which I realize now isn't because I gained weight or something*, it's because the wires are supposed to be like 3" further back under my arms.

*I like how I immediately thought of a reason that clothes not fitting would be my own fault. o_O

Laurel you might also shop for bras with a "leotard back," in which the straps are attached closer to the middle of the band.

Why am I only now noticing that "leotard" looks like an insult aimed at intellectually challenged leopards?

I have a lot of requirements for bras, enough that being limited to racer-back ones (is that the same thing? I have to google "leotard back") would probably mean there was only 1 in the world that worked for me.

Not racer back. Herroom.com has a leotard back explanation. It's a regular bra, just with the straps set closer together.

This tends to be available in more utilitarian styles.

lol "leotard"
lol gbx's proper doctory nonchalance about buttholes - med school works!

I think I need to up a cup size. :/

So I got fitted yesterday but I think she did it incorrectly!!

She measured me right under my arms and across my sternum instead of under the boobs where the band goes. I have seen some ppl do it like that online but I don't think that it would be accurate for me because I have a sort of pronounced sternum so that that measurement is def bigger than where the band actually goes. At the time tho I was like - you're the expert - and listened to her as she recommended that I go up both a cup and band size. I walked out with two bras in said size and while I really like the way the cups fit, I think the band is too big. It's sort of riding up on the tightest hooks. That's not right. I'm frustrated!!

she did it incorrectly, definitely. that sucks.

can you return the bras?

I'm definitely going to try. I left the tags on the other one so that shouldn't be a problem. It's not a huge deal but I'm bummed because I went out of my way to go to that particular store and everything.

I think she was right about needing bigger cups but I'm going back to my old band size. Question - when new they should fit on the loosest hooks so that as the elastic stretches you can tighten them, right?

YES! That is what my lady told me and it makes total sense!

Yep. And so the fact that I'm wearing this brand new on on the tightest hooks and have to keep tugging it down is definitely not right. Boo!

eesh that is annoying! wtf "experts". i guess not all fancy lingerie stores are alike...

During my brief flirtation with pregnancy, I switched to using a couple of my sister's old maternity bras, no underwire. I'm having trouble switching back. My bras just feel so uncomfortable, even though they look like a perfect fit, don't move around, and are flattering.

Someone should invent bras that support without making you feel trussed up.

Strange. I've never been uncomfortable in underwires, unless the wires were poking out though the fabric.

It's not painful, just this awareness of something tight and rigid around my chest I really do not like. Anything loose or soft enough that I don't feel it round me, clearly doesn't fit, i.e. boob flesh does not sit in the cup, straps fall down etc.

I can't help but suspect there is a better way.

Been enjoying maternity bras for sure. Have one breast feeding bra and love it as well. I may never switch back...breast feeding trap door can be sexy, teehee

Right so went back and asked for my old band size but they said that meant I needed to go up a cup size and now somehow I have three D size bras which is just insane since I've thought I was a B my entire adult life. Ds! Wut?

Love the bras though.

E THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I JUST WENT THROUGH!!!!

Loving my smaller band/bigger-cup bras, btw. It is like the secret of life, for realz.

Also not to be crepey but from WDYLL photos I would not have said "ENBB have small boobies!" So now that I know that my not-large boobies are DD or DDD, the fact that you are tall but thin and small-framed and yet have been pronouced D is like total affirmation.

YA'LL EVERYONE GO GET BIGGER CUPS/SMALLER BANDS!

Which store did you do this at again? Was it up at Friendship Heights? Would go and get myself measured but would like to stick in cowardly fashion to the store you can already vouch for.

I went to the Nordstrom at Montgomery/Westfield Mall on Democracy near the intersection of Old Georgetown (there's no Norstrom at Friendship Heights, sadly). It is a car destination, but I am totally on board with gathering you up for a road trip, lj!

boob/bra revelation road trip! this would be awesome.

It shall be so!

"boob/bra revelation road trip!" sounds like a poorly translated frat comedy movie title, tbh

Bridesmaids 2

LOL Q! It is the weirdest thing. I am so glad you went and posted about it though because I prob never have gotten fittted and just kept wearing the same wrong size. :)

ok so with this thread in mind, i went into target to try on a few different sizes. i think i usually buy like 36C. the best fitting size was a 34DD, but there was literally only ONE bra in the entire store in that size. a 36DD was too loose in the band (even on the tightest hooks), and a 34DD still feels too small in the cups, so i think i need to go to nordstrom and try a 34DDD (none in that size at all at target). thanks for all the bra tips, ladies! i might just get a bra that actually fits, one of these days.

some of the brands at nordstrom may fit you differently--tho i've never tried a target bra, american brands like maidenform and bali tend to have looser bands than the nicer (european, wider size-range) brands iirc. which further complicates things. so it might be worth even trying a few band sizes in that range at nordstrom. sometimes they'll be labeled e and f instead of dd and ddd.

and stuff will be pricey, $60 and up around that size. if that's too daunting, take note of brands and styles/sizes that fit you well and you can look around ebay. i've gotten some nice bras on ebay for half priceish.

it can seem like a ridiculous quest for elusive overpriced bras but it's so worth it. i go on and on and ON about this stuff sometimes but it's because it made such a massive difference for me.

yeah i bought a couple of v v cheap bras at target that didn't fit completely right, but will do in the interim - the two bras are i currently own are just ridiculously ill-fitting, and i'm tired of being so uncomfortable ALL OF THE TIME. maybe i'll make a special trip out to nordstrom's next weekend.

ill-fitting bras suck, and once you start to get an idea of what fits better, they seem even more torturous. :(

but then you get a better size and angels sing and you're more comfortable and you stare at your chest every time you see a mirror for a while because WHOA you look better.

In London, found myself near Rigby and Peller. Thought of this thread. Stepped in a 34B, came out a 32D with a much lighter wallet. And the shapes address my... size disparity.

Oh OH I bought a new bra and I like it a lot and I have been meaning to post about it here:

http://www.herroom.com/elomi-8120-hermione-underwire-bandless-molded-bra.shtml

Great things about this bra:
It's lined, but it's also soft, so it feels like a garment and not a scaffolding.
So far, nothing is poking or jabbing or digging into me.
It's called the "Hermione" and I am a huge dork.
It's not massively cleavage inducing so I can wear it with a scoop/v-neck shirt and not worry that I'll look like, I don't know, Jennifer Love Hewitt while trying to teach undergrads (some people don't like this).

Drawbacks:
Probably could use a little more lining, but I'll take the comfort compromise.
It only comes in gray and fawn. HELLO? Black???

Summary: if you have large breasts and would like a lined bra that does not feel like you are strapping an actual building around your chest, this is a really good one.

The grey is nice, though!