I feel pretty--NOT! THE COSMETICS THREAD

VP: Hah! Thank you. I was friend-appropriately jealous of your super-tailored menswear-ish clothing items which were so clean-feeling and sensibly stylish.

It's nice that we all admire each other so much.

Ahaha, now it sounds like I was the Audrey Lorde figure. Mutual admiration is grand.

Also, kudos to those of you who are willing to write honestly and publicly about this stuff.

My two bitcoins or whatever:

-My experience with men and makeup is that they (my dad, some relatives, my husband in the early days) didn't want me to wear makeup for some very nasty sexist reasons.

-I'm 40, and I wear sheer tunics, blue jeans, and the like. I don't know if I look age-appropriate or not, because I don't know that many people my own age. (I can go for days without having any real contact with anyone under 55.)

Also, the better I feel about myself, the more makeup and nice clothes I want to wear.

I'm a bit different than most of you, though, since I really haven't had all that much serious contact with women outside my family; I've never been on a girl's-night-out, for example.

Ahaha, now it sounds like I was the Audrey Lorde figure.

Not even, you imp. I was watching Before Stonewall on nflix instant, actually.

I think sometimes for me it helps (for me) to find age appropriate role models -- people who know how to live, yknow

^^^

I wear makeup every day and would like to get *more* bold with it in an 'own it' kind of way. Feeling totally frustrated about makeup and clothes right now - ready to do more but not enough time to dedicate to experimentation.

i just saw a commercial for some age defying makeup that apparently 'protects skin's dna'.... WHAT????

also i have a question - i am supposed to be having a picture taken tomorrow for use on our company website and i am kind of nervous about how i will look. someone is bringing some kind of fancy camera but i'm also kind of confused because everyone else's photos look like candid shots.

anyway what do i do to my face?

If the pics taken of us at dance events are any indication, you need a lot more makeup than you think looks remotely natural. Ditto former ilxor Lauren on her wedding day, she said she felt like she was wearing half a box of chalk on face and eyelids but she looked sensational and the pictures show that, too.

see... no one at my co wears much makeup at all. so i might feel weird overdoing it? agh...

There's something about using make-up for emphasis of existing features that shows up well in photos. Hit the eyeliner, I'd say, because eyes will recede a bit. Do that dot of white/silver highlighter on the inside corner of eye, then darken the rest of the outline. Use a tad more powder/concealer than you usually would. You're a lipstick person, iirc, so don't forget that. Pretty much just lighten or darken what's already there a little more.

hmm. i must remember to start reapplying lipstick. i always use pretty sheer reds and then i get home 9 hours later am like 'oh my lips are boring'. oops. more concealer is probably a v good idea. esp under eyes.

laurel completely otm: on my wedding day, i was HORRIFIED, HORRIFIED I TELL YOU, about what the makeup lady did to my face. it looked so fucking terrible. but it looked great in the photos - like i wasn't wearing that much makeup at all.

i should probably not overthink this. i am not getting married. it's just a pic on a website. but it will also probably be what shows up in a gis for me in a bit....

in other words, no one cares but my vain self!

I have given up caring about passport photos and the like but would still care about a website photo, a bit.

I have things to say but am too tired so for now, there is this: http://bit.ly/r1eibR (Salon article about work makeup requirements)

Okay, good morning! I recognize that we are back on track re: makeup but I wanted to respond to Virginia Plain real quick:

Jenny, you write that younger women are taken seriously while older women are ignored, but I don't think that paying attention to someone because of their looks or age really amounts to taking someone seriously. It's the opposite I would think.

In my experience, it's more a matter of the looks or age getting someone "in the door," so to speak, as far as being heard. Once you have the person's attention, that person is going to hear what you're saying. It might also help to clarify that I'm speaking solely in a professional context here. There is a whole other can o' worms that come with being outside the standard beauty norm while navigating the social sphere, especially in a dating situation, but that's not relevant to my personal experience at this point in my life. In my situation, there's also a huge, heaping helping of straight up sexism, but this turned into the "why I wear makeup now when I didn't used to before" conversation so I just stuck with the "I'm getting older and this is one of my professional coping strategies with agism in my workplace" angle.

Also, maybe it would be better not to buy into this younger/older dichotomy, and pit ourselves against other women. That's just reinforcing an idea of competition that I don't think really has to be.

I'm going to chalk this up to the shortcomings of text-based communication and you just not knowing me, but this is pretty far off base.

ljubljana - this is a site where people write in w/ makeup questions but it's run by M@ri@nne K1rby who also has the blog The Rotund (I'm googleproofing b/c I know her and I don't know, ILX is my secret internet lair) and she takes a very bold view of makeup, such that I often find myself pulling some Victorian lady swooning shit and being all like "well I NEVER!" about her choices, but she also gets into some ideological examination of makeup and very much takes the "yeah, we can analyze this but you know what else? Make up is FUN" view. Maybe her shocking choices in eye make up will inspire you! So that is here - http://makeupchicken.tumblr.com/

Also, tehresa, I would TOTALLY CARE about my internet work picture!

Also, I am embarrassed to admit this but I dreamed about the lady in that Salon article. She was married to a former child star (I knew who he was in the dream but now I can't remember) who owned a chain of donut shops in direct competition w/ Dunkin Donuts and we sat together on a ferris wheel and then she turned up at a board meeting for an organization that I am involved with.

Apologies, Jenny. My second comment was directed more toward Laurel and her comment about being outside the ranks of younger women . . . I guess, personally, I have no problem with younger women, but my greatest aging crisis came when I was all of 21 years old, so maybe I have just been in denial since then about all of this stuff. Also, I probably work in the one of the most non-ageist environemnts imaginable. . . . I think, for me, it's really only important that I be attractive to one person, the person I am theoretically with, and that's based more on chemistry than looks I would think, anything else is sort of a detriment. Like yesterday, it was hot and I was sweating and wearing a sundress and walking to work and some creepy guy was mumbling this and that as I passed by, and the less and less that happens (and it does happen less and less) the better.

Back to make-up, do y'all use it more as an enhancer or a concealer, or both?

Enhancer mostly, but concealer for certain things -- eye bags (str8 concealin since 87 y'all) and the occasional zit.

No prob, VP!

I am on the same page as LL re: enhancing and concealing.

Yeah, me too.

I can't believe people used to like shade their noses and shit. My nose is not going to shrink magically because there is some brown powder on the sides of it. That shit is embarrassing.

i think people still do that :/

really?

yeah though i know a lot of indians who still use bleaching cream so i guess it's kind of a fucked sample.

didn't mean to o-fend (sorry affend) -- it just seemed like for me it wasn't worth the weight of knowing that i was trying to make my nose look smaller. better just to learn to love it.

wow bleaching cream

haha you didn't offend you're totally otm!

i mean i'm not ignorant of this phenomenon, i just
i dunno
that's where i personally draw the line re: my face and its relationship to makeup

like i don't sit around thinking WHY OH WHY can't i have longer thicker lashes?! i know that i will never have longer thicker lashes unless i have someone glue them to my face, so it's just probs not gonna happen

yknow?

I remember reading about the nose shading in Seventeen and thinking, well okay, if that's what I'm supposed to do… and putting eyeshadow all over my nose and my mother being like "WTF is wrong with your face?" The important lesson I learned there is that sometimes trying to hide something makes it more obvious than just leaving it alone.

Bleaching cream makes me super sad.

yeah, tell me about it. i have some cousins that need a consciousness-raising session, as you would say, Jenny.

The important lesson I learned there is that sometimes trying to hide something makes it more obvious than just leaving it alone.

This is such a valuable life lesson that I am tempted to c/p it like 500x

^^

Sounds like a Bob Dylan lyric to me.

(I had no idea of this nose shading thing either.)

My second comment was directed more toward Laurel and her comment about being outside the ranks of younger women.

Not that I think anyone would think I um feel antagonistic toward or about younger women, but I feel like adding that I just don't feel like one of them anymore, and I think that's okay. Or at least it's at least as much "okay" as anything else about myself that I can't change. :)

as a youngish fat girl who wears lots of makeup (foundation, powder, as much blush as I can get on my cheeks, beige eyeshadow all over lid, brown eyeshadow on eyebrows, gobs of mascara and eyeliner when I have the patience to be careful [I'm not so good at it, shaky hands], lip gloss or CoverGirl Outlast) I've got nothing much to add to the brilliant discussion you ladies have been having but for me a polished, striking face is my defense mechanism against having the beer belly that I do :) plus I wear glasses and have tiny eyes and a host of things that add up to me being 'weird looking' but I try to own it, with porcelain-look skin. Basically I attempt to wear Zooey Deschanel on my face every day, but this morning I took a picture right after my makeup was done, with this conversation in mind. So this is what I look like (I don't bother trying to conceal under eyes because I rock glasses 24/7);
http://i51.tinypic.com/1692gow.jpg
[hopefully not too lolhueg]

So as you can see I could definitely get away with almost no makeup and acheive the same look. But I am gradually turning into 'can't go to the corner store without pretty hair and makeup on' girl. On the flipside, I wish I could figure out coloured eyeshadow and more dramatic looks. Best I can get is thick eyeliner (I'm wearing none today) and like, brown eyeshadow in the crease (but I hate brown eyeshadow; I'm a primary colours are fun kind of lady!) But because of my red hair, pinks make me look crazy, blues make me look clownish, my skin looks washed out with yellow, and I just never do green.. dunno what to do!

on another note I loved that blog linked by Jenny(?) who knows the blogger? Forget the name but I reemmber she signs her posts Agony Aunt. I aded that to my RSS reader and look forward to many new tips in my future. Anyone got another good and classy makeup blogs to check out?

it was pretty lolhueg :P sorry dudettes.

and I say no eyeliner but what I didn't mention is that when I put on mascara lately I somehow manage to hit my eyelid so it's kinda-sorta lined? I broke my ability to apply mascara :P

^^Cute. You seem to have a Japanese style of make-up wearing.

Maybe if I lived elsewhere I would feel older, but I feel like everyone in NYC is in such a state of prolonged adolesence that it hasn't really hit me yet. I don't know, I've barely come to terms with being in my 30s and soon will be looking at a whole new decade to be in denial about.

Also, I hate those articles in some magazine that my sister subscibes to (philosophically) that tells you how to dress age-appropriate . . . like if you are over 20 your skirt can't be above a certain length.

on the one hand i agree with that but on the other...i don't know, there's a really specific thing that i feel like i can't pull off anymore and don't particularly want to: super-short cocktail dresses and/or super-girly embellished sundresses. i still wear sundresses all the time but when i go shopping these days everything looks so young somehow. i don't want to look like the mother of the bride but i also don't want to look like i'm 12.

your make-up looks awesome! and polished, as they say, yes, haha!
xp
my main issue is that i have super sensitive skin, prone to breakouts and redness, like, all the time. i've gone without make-up, i've gone with many dif types of foundation and/or powder, and the issue of skin-tone/health remains. topical clyndamicin/bp works pretty well though, but is drying, so i can't use it every day, but it works, yep. anyway, i used make-up mostly for concealment purposes, but also for enhancement purposes. and so it's like, do i feel pretty when blotchy/break-out-y? hell no. but beyond issues of pretty, do i feel unpresentable, not myself, not like an capable adult? hell yes. issues! they are fun...

xp It was me! She is a super sweet person. I got my fave new makeup tip there which is to use a couple of drops of jojoba oil on a damp cotton ball as makeup remover. It works great and is like eye moisturizer at the same time.

This morning I poked myself in the eye while applying mascara so I feeling u FFM!

xp to VP I think I feel younger, as I described myself (I'll be 29 in November) in part because all my friends are 3-4 years older than me, so I am The Young One. but at work most of my colleagues are 25-27 and wear very short skirts (I am like their easily offended aunt some days) and it's pulling me to a place I've never really experienced since the only people I ever knew who were younger are my siblings!

aw yeah, montreal has the same issue as NYC re: being in our 30s. i mean, i still go to rock shows and dance parties, why not. but it's bc they're still being put on my people in their 30s and 40s! this is true urban living imo. we will see how i feel at 40...

xp
yeah, this has been the year where, though i haven't gained any weight, i can suddenly no longer wear the 'cute' trendy sundresses. maybe because they all look like what i wore when i was 8! srsly. i need form-fitting, tailored stuff. and belts.

yeah lack of tailoring is part of it i think

rrobyn, the skin situation sucks. I have been pretty lucky in that I do whatever to my skin, tons of product, 'body' sunscreen, whatever and it usually behaves. a few more pimples lately - including two on my neck right now 0_o - but I'll deal. I am in the Laurel pattern where I would *probably* be presentable, myself, capable without makeup.. but no one ever sees that (though if I am at home all weekend, or camping, I don't bother..)

on a completely different topic I am going to Mtl for a few days as part of my honeymoon! Old QC for the rest. why are your hotels so EXPENSIVE? sigh

But I also work for the makeup company now so it's becoming more of a forefront in my mind. I want to experiment but.. blah. I've got this real thing for red hair, red lips, red nails. I can't shake it! VP's comment.. "Japanese style," I never thought of it that way! But it is, kind of! And my closest work friend/confidante is Korean & does the same.. but she wears false eyelashes to work!

Jenny: let us cry watery black tears together :P

we need a WDYO(utfit)LL thread. Complete with bathroom pictures, ladies! I have a cute dress on from Zellers.. oh I have a picture from my friend's shower!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/260283_10150232172973578_516053577_7434169_4822588_n.jpg

It is so hard to find classic, inexpensive dresses. All I want is something that doesn't come with ruffles, bows, extraneous buttons or tiered hems.. just give me classic dresses!!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/263047_10150247374463578_516053577_7486524_5977003_n.jpg

I get paid tomorrow AND I have the day off (although I have like eleventy chores to do so...). On my list to buy SOON:

* A new white soft pencil with a little shimmer because I've sharpened mine down to a nub, any brand that works.
* Finally try expensive mascara! It has to be the DiorShow, doesn't it.
* A gold pencil with shimmer? I should try warming things up.