GTFO rolling worst music of 2014

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_Y6P-FfTnY

It's overrated being ordinary-ee

*barf*

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 15 January 2014 17:51 (three years ago) Permalink

Exterminate this bullshit

Deafening silence (DL), Wednesday, 15 January 2014 18:08 (three years ago) Permalink

GOD THIS SONG MAKES ME SO ANGRY

Johnny Fever, Friday, 17 January 2014 17:27 (three years ago) Permalink

welp

maura, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 14:52 (three years ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-p3TGh46Rg

a collaboration between wyclef and tokio hotel is like some blog fever dream from 2008

maura, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 14:53 (three years ago) Permalink

incredibleop choice,it's gonna be tough to "top" that

Simon H., Tuesday, 28 January 2014 15:02 (three years ago) Permalink

What would this thread be without some mild white-boy reggae?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 28 January 2014 15:05 (three years ago) Permalink

Singing in a little girl voice with a ukulele about your uniqueness = the "I'm not racist, but..." of pop music.

Three Word Username, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 15:07 (three years ago) Permalink

i never have any sense of where these come from or who they're for. the youtube in the first post has fewer than 1k views; that last one as more than 2mil.

goole, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:23 (three years ago) Permalink

MAGIC! is a Canadian group whose lead singer, Nasri, is part of the songwriting/production team The Messengers who have worked on a bunch of stuff for the likes of Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, Chris Brown, Michael Bolton, New Kids on the Block and Pitbull. The song Rude is currently doing very well in New Zealand and Australia, peaking at number 2 in both, and currently at 14 in Canada.

cryptosicko, are you from Canada or Australia or is this song starting to get traction in America as well?

MarkoP, Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:32 (three years ago) Permalink

Canada.

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:39 (three years ago) Permalink

We also reviewed it over at the Singles Jukebox earlier this momth, but I'd been hearing it pretty regularly even before that.

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 28 January 2014 18:40 (three years ago) Permalink

http://rhcp2014.com

No shocker here but the new RHCP song is hilariously bad. Weird Al couldn't do any better.

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 18:07 (three years ago) Permalink

Uhm wow....

We're sure this is actually the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and not some well conceived parody?

MarkoP, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 18:16 (three years ago) Permalink

After noticing the terribly-designed website, I think it might be a fake. But it's fucking hilarious either way.

Murgatroid, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 18:20 (three years ago) Permalink

That appears to be a Jon Daly/Tom Scharpling collaboration.

Three Word Username, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:04 (three years ago) Permalink

to be fair RHCP have been a terrible band for basically their entire existence

christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:07 (three years ago) Permalink

Jon Daly did a RHCP-themed appearance on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast last year (with Zack Galifniakis) and may have even used the fake song name "Abracadabralifornia" on the show back then.

Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:11 (three years ago) Permalink

I really love the last two Timber Timbre records, so the opening line to his/their new single causes me extra pain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En1llevuLQ4

Simon H., Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:48 (three years ago) Permalink

lol I had to stop it at 0:10.

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:50 (three years ago) Permalink

most-anticipated thread of 2014 delivers

my collages, let me show you them (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:50 (three years ago) Permalink

I said ""oh, fuck" out loud at the 7 second mark. Jesus God criminy Christmas that is the WORST.

Three Word Username, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:53 (three years ago) Permalink

it's too bad the lyric of "Rude" is actually sorta interesting, cuz the track is all-but-unlistenable

my collages, let me show you them (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:54 (three years ago) Permalink

hahaha

"I wanna dance
I wanna dance
I wanna dance..."

*okay yeah this sucks but i dunno it's not THAT bad*

"...with black woman"

*click*

Zen Dawson (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:56 (three years ago) Permalink

Waste of a sweet Colin Stetson sax outro too. :(

Simon H., Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:56 (three years ago) Permalink

zomg maura that track is a goldmine of meaningless affirmation!

"I am worth it / I am perfect"
"we are who we are we are"(??)
"I am what I say I am / and you are, too!"
"where I'm from / it's a kaleidoscope of what is yet to come" o_O

my collages, let me show you them (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:57 (three years ago) Permalink

Will "mild white boy reggae" never die??

skip, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:58 (three years ago) Permalink

hahaha

"I wanna dance
I wanna dance
I wanna dance..."

*okay yeah this sucks but i dunno it's not THAT bad*

"...with black woman"

*click*

― Zen Dawson (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, January 29, 2014 2:56 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My experience exactly except the one other person in the room as I listen is an African-American woman.

Immediate Follower (NA), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 20:59 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh god! I should have issued it with a warning.

Simon H., Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:00 (three years ago) Permalink

xpost to self: Lenka could take a lesson, her qualified assertions fall kinda flat—"I party by myself *in my own way*" needs more pizazz, & "*I don't really mind* what you all think" is just sad

my collages, let me show you them (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:01 (three years ago) Permalink

This video is unavailable with Safety Mode enabled. To view this video, you will need to disable Safety Mode.

thanks, draconian work global policy

SHAUN (DJP), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:01 (three years ago) Permalink

Here's something I discovered the other day: An EDM album from Megaupload owner, Kim Dotcom

MarkoP, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:02 (three years ago) Permalink

okay I got around it, holy fucking lol

SHAUN (DJP), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:02 (three years ago) Permalink

(yes I am dissecting the lyrics of the other songs posted in this thread in order to avoid having to comment on "I wanna dance with a black woman")

my collages, let me show you them (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:02 (three years ago) Permalink

And just to emphasize, *nothing* they've released to date suggested they'd ever try anything that wrongheaded. I am completely dumbfounded as to why they thought that would be a good or acceptable idea.

Simon H., Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:04 (three years ago) Permalink

so glad I didn't scroll down before clicking that link. mississippi nailed my experience perfectly. sweet, merciless god.

president of the people's republic of antarctica (Arctic Mindbath), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:08 (three years ago) Permalink

on the most charitable reading, it seems like postmodern genre satire ('Hello, I am a rock singer, expressing a prevalent rock music trope in its most-naked, least-tolerable form') but even then the punchline-iness of it falls flat for me

I should maybe add that this is my first exposure to the music of Timber Timbre

my collages, let me show you them (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 January 2014 21:11 (three years ago) Permalink

That Timber Timbre track is somehow harder to get through than the Lenka one.

Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Thursday, 30 January 2014 03:41 (three years ago) Permalink

the video makes it a million times worse

katherine, Thursday, 30 January 2014 04:35 (three years ago) Permalink

Were it not for THAT opening I could kinda see the video as simply a deliberately skeevy Fire Walk With Me homage and shrug it off. And yet...

Simon H., Thursday, 30 January 2014 04:40 (three years ago) Permalink

OMG thank u for the Kimdotcom tip, wau

just got back from NZ and that dude was everywhere

his album of lol/posi-core self-help bangerz is chillingly "on message" throughout, amazing

the tune was space, Thursday, 30 January 2014 05:59 (three years ago) Permalink

I can't believe I'm going to say this out loud, but ... there's something that I kinda like about Rude. I think it's mostly his voice, and I find the melody appealing. The white-boy reggae is regrettable, certainly.

Plus I kinda feel bad for him! He puts on his best suit and goes to ask her dad about marrying his daughter, and he seems sincere ... dad seems like a jerk.

alpine static, Thursday, 30 January 2014 07:45 (three years ago) Permalink

What are the qualifiers for being white-boy reggae?

Iain Mew (if), Thursday, 30 January 2014 08:48 (three years ago) Permalink

Asking because seeing the descriptor used so much for a group led by someome who isn't a white boy made me wonder. I wouldn't have used it.

Also I hate the song and think he's the one who comes off as more of a jerk thanks to some of the phrasing ('have your daughter'?)

Iain Mew (if), Thursday, 30 January 2014 09:16 (three years ago) Permalink

"I wanna dance
I wanna dance
I wanna dance..."

*okay yeah this sucks but i dunno it's not THAT bad*

"...with black woman"

*click*

― Zen Dawson (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exactly this. At 0:05 I was thinking "Shit, what can happen in the next two seconds?" Crazy that someone would sabotage their own song in this way.

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 30 January 2014 10:36 (three years ago) Permalink

I can't believe I'm going to say this out loud, but ... there's something that I kinda like about Rude. I think it's mostly his voice, and I find the melody appealing. The white-boy reggae is regrettable, certainly.

Plus I kinda feel bad for him! He puts on his best suit and goes to ask her dad about marrying his daughter, and he seems sincere ... dad seems like a jerk.

― alpine static, Thursday, January 30, 2014 7:45 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exactly this. There's just something about this song that manages to beat the odds.

Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 30 January 2014 10:37 (three years ago) Permalink

That Kim "Dotcom" Schmitz album sounds like stereotypical German Techno music sometimes but is not that horrible

DDD, Thursday, 30 January 2014 11:10 (three years ago) Permalink

yeah, the music is competent and hitting the target that it's going for, I think it's just the KimDotCom-ness of it all that amazes me- it's got this manic positivity selfhelp vibe that is really funny to me- dude is so shameless- but yeah, it's not like miles away from, say, the Schlager-Techno of DJ Scooter or something:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygWV__SMt7M

the tune was space, Thursday, 30 January 2014 15:14 (three years ago) Permalink

Kim Dotcom reaching out to literally every media outlet available to raise awareness about net neutrality and his cause is more desperate than shameless - he was pretty secretive before the Megaupload bust.

DDD, Thursday, 30 January 2014 15:23 (three years ago) Permalink

caucasian audacity

deej loaf (D-40), Friday, 7 November 2014 22:40 (three years ago) Permalink

Bad, with a pretty disgusting sentiment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PC52toizz8U

schwantz, Monday, 10 November 2014 20:57 (three years ago) Permalink

is anything worse than all about that bass?

her follow-up single is worse

the farakhan of gg (DJP), Monday, 10 November 2014 21:04 (three years ago) Permalink

Bad, with a pretty disgusting sentiment.

"ft. Redfoo?"

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Monday, 10 November 2014 21:43 (three years ago) Permalink

i will cop to having no problem with all about that bass as a novelty track
everything else trainor done that i've heard has been cloying and terrible

Steve 'n' Seagulls and Flock of Van Dammes (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 11 November 2014 01:41 (three years ago) Permalink

"Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins Is Re-Recording 'The Boy Is Mine' With Jessie J And Ariana Grande"

maura, Tuesday, 11 November 2014 19:32 (three years ago) Permalink

just putting that here for later

maura, Tuesday, 11 November 2014 19:32 (three years ago) Permalink

I hesitate because I like this band and like everybody involved, and it's an old song so it's juvenilia made by an already super-young band, but this song plunges to such incredible depths that it has my respect more than my hatred

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq3jHQcL9yc

fgti, Tuesday, 11 November 2014 19:47 (three years ago) Permalink

"Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins Is Re-Recording 'The Boy Is Mine' With Jessie J And Ariana Grande"

― maura, Tuesday, November 11, 2014 1:32 PM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just putting that here for later

― maura, Tuesday, November 11, 2014 1:32 PM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao oh dear

deej loaf (D-40), Tuesday, 11 November 2014 20:19 (three years ago) Permalink

yeah sam smith is gonna do "it's not right but it's not okay" on that album as well which might be an even worse crime

lex pretend, Wednesday, 12 November 2014 09:44 (three years ago) Permalink

^^^^^barfing at the thought of that

least there's that tight chvrches cover of that song tho

ichabron crames (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 15:43 (three years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/Eh9ZMFX.png

✓ out this insane nakh yall (gr8080), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 17:56 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh, these guys.

how's life, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 17:59 (three years ago) Permalink

Youtube keeps recommending this All About That Bass parody to me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6xXEaWz5Iw

I had never heard of this guy but he seems to be popular? he has about a million song parody videos all of which seem to be based on him dressing as a woman and crossing his eyes, Brian Conley as Septic Peg style

soref, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 21:28 (three years ago) Permalink

his videos all look really expensive too!

soref, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 21:28 (three years ago) Permalink

not having any of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnwAY7Li_dE#t=133

borntohula, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 04:48 (three years ago) Permalink

Everytime I think "Music's in a really good place now. Technology has allowed anyone who wants to make music to make it, and then get it out to people who might want to hear it. So cool!" something like this comes along and I immediately think "Well, it was a nice run."

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 04:59 (three years ago) Permalink

what the fucking fuck even is that, exterminate all the brutes

give kawhi his damn eyedrops (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 15:18 (three years ago) Permalink

Gross.

skip, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 15:26 (three years ago) Permalink

"gross" otm

So beautiful cow (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 16:39 (three years ago) Permalink

wow, that's really really really offensively terrible, like, on every level- the talk about the OC and the general wanna-be vibe makes me wonder if it's some rich kids from Orange County trying to buy a pop career- like was it shot at some horseriding enclosure where Mom practices showjumping or something?

sounds like they had to heavily filter and mix those vocals so low because there's no there there on any level, and when even the hook is stolen and the trap beats are wack and phoned in, it's like, ugh

calling this "music" is like, I dunno, dumping MSG in rubber cement and calling that "cooking"

the tune was space, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 16:50 (three years ago) Permalink

Part of me really wants it to be deliberate, like they were purposefully going for alienation, instructing the girls in the video to look as bored and depressed as possible, etc. But I bet they're just idiots who think they've made something awesome.

Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 17:38 (three years ago) Permalink

The video, filmed in a strip clup, "portrays a plasticized version of Hollywood sleaze," and features "additional direction from Prettypuke and Dan Gotti." Gabe from Uzi describes the duo's mission in simple terms: "All the weird kids are taking over."

soref, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 18:02 (three years ago) Permalink

Don't get me wrong, this is flat-out terrible but how are you guys not desensitized to shit like this by now

Tay-Tay Brooklynpants (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 19 November 2014 18:05 (three years ago) Permalink

"all the weird kids are taking over"

yeah this reads as too earnest and too satisfied with itself to be some sort of deliberate critique.

borntohula, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 21:52 (three years ago) Permalink

Wow, the new Faith No More song suuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 20 November 2014 01:23 (three years ago) Permalink

It totally belongs on this thread once it's got a video.

everything, Thursday, 20 November 2014 02:00 (three years ago) Permalink

sorry to hear that

So beautiful cow (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 20 November 2014 05:23 (three years ago) Permalink

It's being discussed on the FNM thread, but I actually like it!

Simon H., Thursday, 20 November 2014 06:02 (three years ago) Permalink

I know Nickelback is a super easy target for this kind of thread, but holy fuck, their new album has a song with Flo Rida and it's indescribably bad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbKvFFf8nyg

Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:12 (three years ago) Permalink

xpost but that "all the weird kids are taking over" line just depresses me more

thinking that you can have it both ways by pretending to critique the misogyny you reinforce = not weird, garden variety hyprocrisy

thinking you can just appropriate anything (in this case, trap) because it's "plastic" and that therefore your shitty version of something gets to be "commentary" about it = not weird, standard operating procedure

treating women like dehumanized props in a fantasy about male power = not weird, numbingly familiar

it's not an interesting Andy Warhol-esque deadpan strategy to be a moron, it's just called being a moron

the tune was space, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:22 (three years ago) Permalink

I mean I know that this thread is for shit that sucks, but man the idea that the people behind that song think that they are in some way "weird" or "different" is just enraging to me in a special way that goes beyond just noticing that their song is bad, like I feel some kind of ethical nausea/vertigo when I imagine how they justify what they're doing to themselves

time to go pet a kitten or something

the tune was space, Thursday, 20 November 2014 18:25 (three years ago) Permalink

Hope you're not implying by posting that Austerlitz piece that somehow my dislike of Uzi means that I don't like pop music or am somehow akin to Austerlitz.

I like pop music just fine. I just don't like poorly executed bullshit.

No worries if I'm reading you wrong, just checking.

the tune was space, Friday, 21 November 2014 03:39 (three years ago) Permalink

nah he was trolling a whole bunch of threads with that piece it stems from a dogfight over some BS in another thread. long story.

search datpiff, you'll find it (slothroprhymes), Friday, 21 November 2014 04:24 (three years ago) Permalink

(trust me he feels similarly to the dipshit caucasoid austerlitz)

search datpiff, you'll find it (slothroprhymes), Friday, 21 November 2014 04:25 (three years ago) Permalink

i think we have a winner for the absolute worst ever, like ever ever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLYoJgbybes

hanley ramirez ordering a pizza (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 16:10 (three years ago) Permalink

that was last year! iirc unperson defended it

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 16:18 (three years ago) Permalink

oh my b i was only just informed this vomitous genre of "deathcore" is a think that exists

always great to see that some wites still think it's ok to say n---a *backflips into lake of fire*

hanley ramirez ordering a pizza (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 16:20 (three years ago) Permalink

*thing

hanley ramirez ordering a pizza (slothroprhymes), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 16:20 (three years ago) Permalink

I would like to reiterate this appeal

we should really poll these, so many contenders this year

Simon H., Wednesday, 26 November 2014 16:24 (three years ago) Permalink

the guitar solo guy with the denim jacket looks so awkward and lost in the group shots outside the house

soref, Wednesday, 26 November 2014 16:27 (three years ago) Permalink

:( That Lil Dicky song upthread is not even close to his worst song
I am not reposting shit
I want to die

mango unchained (fgti), Wednesday, 26 November 2014 19:31 (three years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that Attila song was from last year. They do have a new album out this year, though - it's called Guilty Pleasure. I wrote a feature on them for Alternative Press. The singer has a solo album coming out next year sometime. Here's the first single/video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_97IcSgDcBo

Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Friday, 28 November 2014 15:05 (three years ago) Permalink

RIP Uncle John From Jamaica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byH-eq_1TFU

boxedjoy, Wednesday, 3 December 2014 20:28 (three years ago) Permalink

http://youtu.be/Bznxx12Ptl0

Badmotorfinger Debate Club (MFB), Saturday, 13 December 2014 07:03 (three years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

Outstays its welcome, but better than "Punk Rock 101," and at least not totally underwritten lyrically. Should have mixed up the chorus a bit more, and the video isn't funny enough.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 15 March 2015 18:43 (two years ago) Permalink

Their follow up single might be worse:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKIPh1w4s18

And also has a blatant "Call Me Maybe" mention.

MarkoP, Sunday, 15 March 2015 19:03 (two years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

calvin harris "open wide" feat big sean ticks so many boxes of badness

it's hard to believe that there is much worse than this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVzhpkFBFP8

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:56 (one week ago) Permalink


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