Ambushed by unexpected emotion

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OK, Ned pushed me into it, over at Pop Epiphany

On April 1 — but this is TRUE! — I was listening to the UK Top 40 Chart Rundown (it was the day Gorillaz went back up).

At (I think) no.6, Wheatus, Teenage Dirtbag: a song I half-like in a ho-hum, easily-pleased, not-much-bothered kind of a way.

I'm maing a thing, this particular Sunday, of listening to the entire chart-qua-chart. Out of nowhere, at the climactic moment in the song — when he does the squeaky girlie voice and sings (as answer to his male dirtbag self) "a ticket to Iron Maiden maybe" — sudden massive lump-in-throat resolves into tears standing in eyes resolves into actual wet cheeks. As much as anything, as the song winds up, I am dumbstruck at this effect: I don't believe I've EVER cried at music before.

So: your equivalent — the moment when feelings you didn't imagine you had (didn't want to have) suddenly sandbagged you... and the more ludicrous the catalyst the better.

mark s, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

It's like an ILM Our Tune.

OK, apposite to another thread this, too.

I was at a disco with Isabel. It was full of pricks - we hated it, really bitchy atmosphere (it was some kind of school reunion thing of hers, none of her friends had turned up). I had nothing to say to anyone and got steadily drunker and refused to dance. She, rightly, got cross at this and at the general atmosphere and sulked.

Finally I agreed that the next time a slow song came on I would dance with her to it. Lo and behold it was Bob Marley, "Redemption Song". As all the lowest representatives of my 'social strata' swayed in their DJs and cummerbunds and tried for a quick grope I was filled with images of BOB'S RIGHTEOUS STRUGGLE and how all that had happened was that he'd died and his LIBERATION MUSIC was being used to soundtrack the fumblings of catty debs in training, and like Mark, my cheeks they did moisten.

Later on as I recall I threw up in Isabel's toilet. Not my finest critical hour.

Tom, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Hearing some kind of Ball / Barber / Bilk trad jazz at a Tory conference event where I was mounting a counter-demonstration. Of course, I expected to hear it or similar, but at this moment it crossed the boundaries from tiresome rose-tinted nostalgia to actual hatred and contempt; all of a sudden Frances Line and Margaret Thatcher might as well have been each other.

Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

alice coopers 'sun arise' was on the stereo when i had my head kicked in during my late teens - i heard it last year - not really listening at the time - in a record shop and got the fear , stomach cramps - went outside and puked up, blubbed like a bairn. the thing is that in the meantime i thought id put it all behind me

since then i listen to it occasionally - to remind me why im racing, and what im racing from.

(exhales)

geordie racer, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

oh my god, that was awesome.

ethan, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Is Ethan actually posting this stuff or is neuro still imitating him? What's going on here?

Um, anyhow, I get really tense when the song "Good Morning" by the Beatles comes on. Not because of the fact that the song is awful, but because I went through about 5 years of my life being woken up every single morning, even weekends, by my mom putting on the Sgt. Pepper's vinyl to "Good Morning" and just playing the rooster crow and "GOOD MORNING! GOOD MORNING!" over and over and over again until I'd get up to entertain her. Because she thought it was funny. So when that song comes on, I get really, really tense. It happened tonight, I couldn't even finish my dinner because of it. It's just a learned response, I guess.

Ally, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I once totally broke down while watching an episode of Jem and The Holograms (cartoon about good girl pop band - The Holograms, vs. bad girl rock band - The Misfits). Top that for most mortifying, if you can!

Grim Kim, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

um, i think neuro/buddy is done with the impersonating stuff. i just thought geordie's story was cool.

ethan, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Uh, WHY is that story cool? Feel free to send your explanation to email, I tire of posting crap here to be honest...

Oh, and I've totally flipped out at Jem before. It's really weird but I used to think about it all the time. It'd really upset me, Jem's boyfriend (Rio?), he'd go out with Jerica AND Jem, but he didn't know Jerica and Jem were the same person so in his mind he was dating two chicks, but since they were the same girl she knew he was cheating and didn't that bother her? What's going on here? I'd get really upset to the point where my mom had to take away my Jem dolls because I kept defacing the boyfriend doll. I'm honestly not making this up. I can't deal with Jem because of this.

Ally, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

No shit, I hated that too. You have to wonder what the hell kind of message they thought they were putting out there with that fubar little dynamic in a 'kids' show. Did I mention that I was well into my teens when this incident took place? Remember near the end when they introduced a new evil 'European rock' band - called the Stingers (had to look that bit up) but anyway, the leader of that band was Riot, the long haired bad boy trying to steal Jem away from Rio. In this one episode his father died or was in hospital or something and they got all unbelievably maudlin about it (cue emotional man ballad) and I totally bought it.

Kim, Wednesday, 9 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Films have this effect on me more than music. Too many to mention, but the weirdest was probably returning to Stevenage after my first (terrible) year in London, switching on 'A Muppet Christmas Carol' at my mum's house, suddenly finding the sheer Dickensian sentimentality impossible to resist, and blubbing like a gurl all the way through it.

stevie t, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

At a petrol station watchin the the sun come up in Newport (Gwent). Whilst rewinding Drexciya tapes, and rummaging for fags Robbie Williams' Angels started playing on the radio, right from the beginning. I completely bought it, found myself in every line, every breath. There were tears of joy. Oddly enough, this was the day he played Glastonbury in 98.

Most recent occassion was hearing that Brian Adams trance track extremely loud in a clothes shop down Oxford Circus. Seeing the video on a mega-screen above a melee of girls fighting over the reduced racks, it was like a vision of the future, lucky I was in a good mood then.

K-reg, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I cried at the Muppet Christmas Carol too. Lor' bless em every one.

Tom, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

What is it with the Muppets Christmas Carol thing? Is it some sort of subliminal message in the film aimed at people likely to do Karaoke in The King Of Corsica (maybe that was subliminal in the film too). I cried at it as well.

Mind you, I cried at The Fly so I am a pretty unreliable one on that count.

Record wise "Grudge Fuck" by the Scud Mountain Boys (previous mentioned) always brings a tear to my eyes, which as I have said before I found rather unlikely due to it being a song called Grudge Fuck.

Pete, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

shipley train station. late evening walking across an empty car park. in a building opposite there is an aerobics class. cher's believe is being played. can only half hear it, and obscured by aerobics instructions. sounds impossibly poignant.

gareth, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, I went to see Bon Jovi, and I never thought I could let go and sing along and punch my fists in the air but I did!!! One of the greatest nights ever..."a shot to the heart and you're to blame"!

james e l, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I have to admit that I'm definitely more a sucker for emotional manipulation in film and TV than in music, for the most part, but here's examples of both:

Music: I'd listened to The Cure's "From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea" quite a few times and enjoyed the ripping guitar throughout, but one time the lyrics just caught me. I was fascinated throughout, like a trainwreck, but when Smith got to "...just as I'm breaking free/she hangs herself in front of me/drops her dress like a flag to the floor/and hands in the sky surrenders it all..." I just lost it. Felt a chill run up my back and had to sit down.

Visual: Sometimes it's the stupidest things that set me off. Once I welled up with tears at a Star Trek:TNG episode, for pete's sake. Most notable, though, was the episode of the Simpsons where Homer leaves his job at the power plant and has to come crawling back to Burns afterward. Burns installs a sign in his workstation that reads "DON'T FORGET: YOU'RE HERE FOREVER". Later in the episode someone wonders why there are no photos of Maggie in the photo album, and it pans back to his workstation, where the photos of Maggie are pasted all over that sign, obscuring enough of it so that it now reads "DO IT FOR HER". I wept. How lame.

Sean Carruthers, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Actually, it's not that lame. There have been a couple of episodes of the Simpsons that got me misty-eyed.

The reason I haven't posted a specific song is that songs used to be able to make me cry with an alarming frequency -- I don't think I could even begin to remember them all. Nothing lately though, though I am loving a lot more music this year than I have the past couple of years. That's probably more to do with me than with the state of music. However, I do find something really poignant about One More Time though -- something about it to me suggests it is the last party they will ever be having, so they're making the most of the situation. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, though.

Nicole, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

... and at this very moment, Piano Magic's "Wrong French" has me considering it miraculous that I'm still here ...

a quiet background presence, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

nicole, have you seen the video? ;)

as far as the simpsons go, in the episode where homer meets his mother, the end leaves me misty-eyed, when the credits are run and instead of the normal black background, it's an image of the sky filled with stars and of a relatively small homer sitting on the hood of his car just looking up at them.

fred solinger, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

fred, I have never seen the video. I have probably seen a total of 5 videos in the past 6 months, but One More Time was not one of them. What, is the video *about* that?

That's why I feel slightly befuddled when I hear people talking about the new Missy video, etc. -- when does MTV show videos??? Every time I turn it on it is some "making of such and such video" or one of those ridiculous "real world/road rules challenges", so I have pretty much given up on mtv. Maybe if I had m2 it would be a different story.

Nicole, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Crying at movies isn't ambush, exactly, I don't think. Cinema is a machinery for producing emotional affect, and Hey! It works!!

It isn't lame either, obviously.

mark s, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I didn't think anyone could get choked up when listening to Autechre (hell, it sounds like the punchline to one of those "how sensitive is he? He's so sensitive that he gets misty-eyed when listening to glitch electronica" type jokes) but something about the track "pir." just sounds unbelievably poignant to me. The gentle melody that glides beneath the sounds of drowning noise fills my mind with images of a child trying to swim and struggling to stay afloat. When I learn guitar one day, I'll do an acoustic cover version.

Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

the only time i see videos is on m2 (though i did see "one more time" on mtv, oddly enough). and, yes, it is about just that. it's anime of a band of alien rabbits playing, yes, just one more time as war goes on around them and you can guess how it ends. it is strangely poignant, yes.

fred solinger, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

OK, yes, machinery for emotional affect yada yada. Erm, which BIT of The Fly?

mark s, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

i hate the trendy 80s anime execution of that daft punk video (matthew sweet?) but yeah, that's what it's about.

there's this part at the end of a mystery science theater tape i have where joel and the robots sing some intentially- sentimental 20s vaudeville-type song about taking off the greasepaint and then the no- lyrics credits version of the theme plays and the part where it says 'keep circulating the tapes' and they thank the teachers of america just gets me every time. there's really a melancholy mood around that whole episode actually (it's 'pod people', for those familiar with the show. probably the best thing they ever did).

is transcending your own irony the ultimate goal of humanity today? re: that episode and this thread.

ethan, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"Clowns in the Sky." And a great episode it was too. "Wing-ed potatoes..."

Good taste in shows you have there. ;-)

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

yes, it's wonderful. about six or seven percent of my personal injokes come from that specific episode ('wing-ed potatoes...these po-ta-toes have big ears' included). and don't you love the music in 'pod people'?

ethan, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"And now, music from some guys in space..." *generic whooshing* Not to mention the, ahem, 'band.' "Good? He's the best!"

Stop me before I quote everything. Love that show. And the thing is, that instrumental end music is beautifully emotional as you say, the more so because if it was presented as a straightforward piece on a serious show, it wouldn't work as well. Context is important.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

At a petrol station watchin the the sun come up in Newport (Gwent). Whilst rewinding Drexciya tapes, and rummaging for fags Robbie Williams' Angels started playing on the radio, right from the beginning. I completely bought it, found myself in every line, every breath. There were tears of joy. Oddly enough, this was the day he played Glastonbury in 98. (K-Reg)

There was a very clever, heartstrings-yanking use of "Angels" on the recent end-of-series epsiode of "Casualty" about two weeks ago (more trash Robin). I won't bore you with the details but anyone who saw it will know what I mean.

David, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

'what do you think?'

('a-ok' handsign)

'it STINKS!'

ethan, Thursday, 10 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Squarepusher's "My Sound" makes me misty. Err, not sure why. A lot of Autechre as well.

Melissa W, Friday, 11 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Clearly you visit a licence-paying friend every Saturday night then, David.

I find it impossible to imagine *any* use of "Angels" being clever or yanking the heartstrings. God how I hate that song.

Robin Carmody, Friday, 11 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

But there's a fine line between love and...

And that's what this thread is about: except your story, Robin, was about being pushed from anger to more anger — I couldn't work out where the SURPRISE came in.

mark s, Friday, 11 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, exactly, Mark. I was aware of its not really fitting into the subject even as I posted it, and anyway Tories-trad-jazz was an already-established cultural association (J. Major was a noted Acker Bilk fan, and Chris Barber got an MBE in, IIRC, the second honours list after he took office, exactly the same chronological stage as Wilson-Beatles and, erm, Blair-Elton John).

So I suppose I've got to think of something more appropriate. In that case, quite recently: after a moment of acute, profound public humiliation, hearing Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" entering at number one. Suddenly its defiant plea of innocence became wholly personal and, essentially, what I wanted to believe was true, but I knew wasn't.

Scritti Politti's "Oh Patti (Don't Feel Sorry For Loverboy)" has done that to me after a couple of recent minor depressions, as well.

Robin Carmody, Friday, 11 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Hmm. This broadly fits under this topic. I have sometimes felt stone cold throughout the most depressing movies. But remember that old 80s flick with Fred Savage called "The Wizard". Everytime I see the ending for that, the real reason why the kid wanted to go to California, starts jerking tears out of me. I rented it once last year and couldn't believe myself. I have no idea why. But thats mine.

Luptune Pitman, Sunday, 13 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

1. Agree with RC about 'Angels'.

2. Stevie T's story is so sad!

3. October 1991, looking out a window at night on the grass running down to the lake, and the Yanks romping outside (always seemed funnt when 'Nightswimming' came out a year later). Eurythmics' 'Shame' plays, and its tinkling seems like the sound of the passing of our years; as, come to think of it, did the lonesome keening fade-out of the Psychedelic Furs' 'Love My Way' on the east coast of Ireland 2 months earlier.

the pinefox, Wednesday, 23 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Christ, this *thread* is making me well up...

The spooky climax to Benny Hill's "Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)" - "Ernie was only 52*/He didn't wanna die" [...] "was that the trees-a-rustlin'? Or the hinges of the gate?/Or Ernie's ghostly gold-tops a-rattlin' in their crate?" - always jerked chilly tears from me as a toddler (it's the angel's chorus, the strings and the way Benny phrases 'of the gate'). Utterly astounded and not a little embarrassed to find myself choked seeing the video again on TOTP2 recently.

(Nick - do we have 52 yet?)

Michael Jones, Wednesday, 23 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

TalkSPORT (UK radio station, for those happily ignorant) have recently started using the instrumental track of "Get Ur Freak On" (it's by Missy Elliott, Pinefox) on their sports updates, which are sponsored by the Daily Telegraph. I'm not ashamed to say that hearing *that* newspaper mentioned over *that* record was the most jarring thing I've heard in years.

Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 23 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

anyone who read my article i wrote for ft last december might remember a good many cheapshots taken at common sense, who i unexpectantly got into in the following months and has made me quite misty-eyed at moments despite myself. 'it's 'UNDERGROUND' HIPHOP, i think, not like getting lump-in-throat to something REAL like wu or biggie! it's TRYING to manipulate you!' and my heart-region tells my brain to SHUT UP and instead sends messages to my tearducts. bloody undie rap. i'll beat you yet.

ethan, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I was driving to the laundromat today and this song comes on with the chorus (I kept singing it to myself so I wouldn't forget it) "What would you do if your son's at home crying all night on the bedroom floor cuz he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money and his daddy's gone somewhere smoking rock now in and out of lockdown I ain't got a job now so for you this is just a good time but for me this is what I call life..." What is this song? Perhaps actual tears would've awoken me from my nihilism, but I was beyond that -- watching the laundry spin around and around was the most depressing thing I've ever done. There was a pinball machine in the laundromat and I didn't even play it! The void is a sad whore trying to feed her child (by selling over-catchy pop songs?): it's so Biblical, so motherfucking Dostoevskian!

Kris, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

That's City High - What Would You Do?

Melissa W, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

That song is so good.

Sterling Clover, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Hearing "Whoever You Are" by Geggy Tah recently, and a whole wellspring of memories rose up in me of Jr. year in high school and Carrie Hobbs and her crew and them singing that song and how she was irritating but in retrospect I sort of miss her and wonder what became of her and respect how she could be good friends with short, weird, high-voiced Bryan and help him come out of his shell, and yes. Geggy Tah.

Also, driving with a friend recently and both of us singing along to "I Promise" and me feeling sad that we weren't dating.

Sterling Clover, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I Promise? By whom?

Melissa W, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I dunno, the currently popular R&B tune.

Sterling Clover, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

'Jerked chilly tears...' - aah, the rustle of language, welcome back.

the pinefox, Thursday, 24 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

At friend's house heard "Pressure Drop" from Toots and flashed immediately to Ma and Pa Hand twirling each other about the house after a party, broom against the wall. I nearly fucking lost it then friends....

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 30 May 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

two months pass...
I always considered Bon Jovi to be extremely annoying crap, but yesterday I heard "Living On A Prayer" on the radio and had massive shivers going down my spine. Holy mother, what a great chorus that is. I had an image of the band sitting around the control room in the studio listening to the playback and going "This song is going to be fucking huge." The craft in that hook is what gets me. I think I needed a few years distance from "Living On A Prayer" to hear it properly.

Mark, Friday, 17 August 2001 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

four months pass...
I started crying unexpectedly while watching Mary J. Blige's video for No More Drama yesterday.

Melissa W, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (eighteen years ago) link

t.A.T.u., "Show Me Love":

"Like a game of pick-up sticks / played by f#*!ing lunatics"

Dunno why, ambushed every time.

anatol_merklich, Saturday, 13 December 2008 02:24 (eleven years ago) link

The break in Chrissie Hynde's voice on the line "won't let nobody hurt you" in "I'll Stand By You" always brings a lump to my throat.

The perfect combination of song and movie can really mess me up. I know a lot of people hate it, but the Aimee Mann "Wise Up" segment in Magnolia is achingly, beautifully sad. Hell, I get choked up at the end of Koyaanisqatsi.

On the joyful end, during the live performance of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Chaka Khan and Montell Jordan in the Standing in the Shadow of Motown documentary, when the band hits that crescendo and the gospel choir enters...tearful bliss.

Hideous Lump, Saturday, 13 December 2008 04:27 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

Radio 2 are right now playing a song by ACKER BILK. He has just started singing. It is a good thing Robin C is not listening, or he might be getting very angry!!

the pinefox, Saturday, 24 January 2009 09:27 (eleven years ago) link

"was that the trees-a-rustlin'? Or the hinges of the gate?/Or Ernie's ghostly gold-tops a-rattlin' in their crate?"

the pinefox, Saturday, 24 January 2009 09:30 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

They played Acker Bilk on Radio 2 last night!

the pinefox, Monday, 9 February 2009 15:54 (eleven years ago) link

acker bilk was on local news last week, he has just celebrated his 80th birthday (i think).

mark e, Monday, 9 February 2009 16:15 (eleven years ago) link

Little April Showers from the Bambi Soundtrack recently on a TV ad, kills me totally.

MaresNest, Monday, 9 February 2009 18:42 (eleven years ago) link

four years pass...

In my elementary school there was this "popular" kid I'll just call Matt. Matt was tall, athletic, liked by girls, etc. etc. I was unathletic and somewhat picked on in school, and he was among a group of kids that sometimes picked on me. He wasn't the worst of the bunch, but he was mean sometimes, and I resented him very much, in part just because of that cosmic unfairness of there being a tall, charismatic, athletic blonde guy who everyone liked, while of course so few people saw all of MY obvious good qualities, or didn't appreciate my intelligence, yada yada, bitter nerd stuff etc.

When we were in fourth or fifth grade, his father suddenly passed away. I remember my parents said something to me about how I should offer my condolences to him. I remember it seemed like the whole grade was abuzz with his father's death. I think in my resentment I imagined that if *my* father died, people wouldn't be acting as sad about it, this was all just because he was popular! Part of me still knew the right thing to do would be to just go and say "I'm sorry about your father Matt." But I kept thinking about doing it and then backing away, and in the end, I never said a word.

I doubt if he even kept track of who offered him condolences or ever noticed I didn't, but this bothered me for a long time after, and I felt very guilty about it, although I never really knew the guy past seventh or eighth grade and eventually forgot it completely.

Today I was browsing facebook, and it suggested him in the "people you may know" category, and I clicked out of curiosity. There are pictures of him, looking like a very regular adult dude with his wife, and he has a toddler, about my daughter's age. Somehow when I saw this I started to tear up. I almost want to message the guy and say something about it, but the last time someone did one of those "long lost apology" things to me, it was just out of nowhere and totally surprising.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:07 (six years ago) link

i get this, to a degree. i felt the "bitter nerd stuff etc." in jr. high and high school.

you're a better person than me, because i don't think i'd have had later regrets about failing to offer condolences. i have thought, in retrospect, that maybe some of the injustices done to me were the product of my imagination, or exaggerated in my mind because of my own insecurities. but they felt bad enough to me, at the time, that they lingered in my mind long into my adulthood, and even remain today. hard to forgive or forget, i've found, even if i've been blessed with a lot of good things since that should make me let go of past grievances.

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:14 (six years ago) link

I felt more guilty about my inner justifications for not saying anything than for not saying anything.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:17 (six years ago) link

Like my perceived slights were somehow bigger than the fact that this kid lost his dad.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:17 (six years ago) link

fair enough. but that doesn't undo the slights, or lessen their impact on you, either. people -- even high school tormentors -- are complicated.

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:18 (six years ago) link

The thing is I wouldn't call this kid in particular my "tormentor." He was a popular kid, and he probably said mean stuff to me more than a few times, but I saw him more generally as being of that group that I felt excluded and rejected me. It's not like he was beating me up and stuffing me into lockers all the time though.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:22 (six years ago) link

i'm usually willing to give myself and everybody else a free pass for any perceived moral failings done before, say, age 14? not sure where the upper limit is but slighting this kid in 4th or 5th grade definitely isn't a big deal. (a tangential question i often think of us whether kids are really morally responsible for anything) though i can totally identify with getting that sudden onset of emotion from something that previously seemed really buried.

marcos, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:34 (six years ago) link

I think it was also the combo of "this guy lost his dad and now is a dad" and "he has a kid my kid's age" combined with the other stuff

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:35 (six years ago) link

a tangential question i often think of us whether kids are really morally responsible for anything

yeah, they definitely can be, at a certain age. the 13 year-old who set fire to his classmate, because it seemed funny. the 15 year-old who tells another girl, via social media, to kill herself. the army of kids who bully and torment their peers.

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:39 (six years ago) link

i realize these are extreme examples, but they're also valid examples.

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:39 (six years ago) link

idk, I knew what the right thing to do was and I didn't do it. I don't see how that's not enough for moral responsibility.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:39 (six years ago) link

i get your point, don't misunderstand. fwiw, and from a distance, i think you're being too hard on yourself.

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:40 (six years ago) link

I think I probably would have been about equally as much a dick/nice guy in elementary school as this guy was if I had been in his position. I don't think I was actually an especially nice guy. I was polite and smart, but I had lots of my own insensitivity and selfishness, still do.

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:44 (six years ago) link

xp yea i think when it gets into teenage years i don't really know, it get's complicated since teens are in such a weird mix of childhood and adulthood. like i said i don't know the upper limit. but when i reflect on guilt or embarrassment i still feel from stuff that i did in my youth, i try to really think about whether i was really responsible at all. i mean, how morally developed is a 12-year old? like what was empty or lacking in my life as a kid that made me treat someone a particular way, you know? kids may have a moral sensibility but it's totally undeveloped and i'm not sure it's clear that that translates to a moral responsibility. fwiw i have zero expertise in child psychology or moral psychology.

marcos, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:47 (six years ago) link

i have zero expertise in child psychology or moral psychology

me, either. i speak only from my own experiences and as the father of a 12 -- soon to be 13 -- year old daughter, who i worry about all the time, even if she seems so much more emotionally together than i did at her age.

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:50 (six years ago) link

(as i sometimes say, my invisible child psychology degree hangs framed on the wall, next to my invisible engineering degree.)

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 17 January 2014 21:51 (six years ago) link

when I analyze it, I think part of my emotion is the feeling of wanting to let go of all that resentment

signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Friday, 17 January 2014 21:59 (six years ago) link

three years pass...

my ford KA -- in the family since 1999, mainly used by a friend the last 2xyrs -- just went off to be cubed

i am not a wreck but i am sad: in 2007 i travelled the vertical length of france and back in that trusty little thing w/o mishap (lol except for backing into someone and scrunching up their driver's door in the languedoc hamlet of ASPIRAN)

mark s, Saturday, 3 June 2017 14:59 (three years ago) link

five months pass...

when the saxes come in on this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oanAeie_Tag

IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Monday, 13 November 2017 05:14 (two years ago) link

In about 2006 I saw Brian Wilson and the Wondermints doing the rejigged Smile in Sydney. It was all beautifully performed and Brian himself was kind of a curio on stage, present but not quite, as the elaborate music unfolded around him. Then they started "Surf's Up" and it suddenly hit me that this man's life had been a shattered wreck from the time he wrote this song until now, and here he was performing it in all its glory as an aged, frail man, it just hit me like a hammer and I bawled in my seat.

attention vampire (MatthewK), Monday, 13 November 2017 05:23 (two years ago) link

So there I am, cleaning my kitchen on a Saturday afternoon, decided to have a little nostalgia trip by putting on Parklife. Singing along to 'To The End' I hear my voice crack and before I know it I'm standing in the middle of the room weeping.. Sometimes you think you're over someone..

FREEZE! FYI! (dog latin), Saturday, 25 November 2017 13:29 (two years ago) link

Surfs Up is such a masterpiece, so much feeling

calstars, Saturday, 25 November 2017 15:00 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

Meadow Soprano graduating high school. She reminds me of my daughter.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 10 March 2019 05:26 (one year ago) link

Bawled.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 10 March 2019 05:26 (one year ago) link

A couple of months ago I found a nice little animation that Queen had made for when they reissued News Of The World, for the song "All Dead, All Dead", I never realised it was about Brian May's long-gone childhood pet cat, because I'm colossally soft and the little cat in the animation is very sweet, I just broke into bits out of nowhere.

MaresNest, Sunday, 10 March 2019 13:57 (one year ago) link

five months pass...

https://bsmrocks.bandcamp.com/album/i-spent-the-winter-writing-songs-about-getting-better

in 'white sheep':


I hate myself for feeling this way
'Cause if my dad showed me anything, it's that anyone can change
He went from always angry, smoking a pack a day
To calling me up to say he’s proud of the life that I made

i'm havin a fuckin cat's in the cradle moment over here or something

j., Tuesday, 20 August 2019 19:56 (one year ago) link

four months pass...

When I first heard the choir thunder in on the chorus towards the end of Selena Gomez's otherwise ordinary 'Lose You To Love Me' I had a serious moment. Although the real lip wobbler for me last year was Shura's 'Tommy'.

nashwan, Monday, 6 January 2020 12:14 (eight months ago) link

That bit in Lumpy Gravy about 9 mins in with Motorhead Sherwood talking about what jobs he had, there's all these background voices come in, then the sound of doors slamming for no reason and the doors make me really, really anxious.

Maresn3st, Monday, 6 January 2020 14:47 (eight months ago) link

Alameda, Elliott Smith, 7/31/1997 @ the Knitting Factory. but right now. the bootleg. It's a great show

flappy bird, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 05:33 (eight months ago) link

two months pass...

I knew there was eventually going to be a song that would tip me over the edge. Honestly, never in a million years did I think that song would be 'November Rain'.

Matt DC, Friday, 27 March 2020 13:50 (five months ago) link

The third guitar solo represents the winter epidemic long after the peak.

Matt DC, Friday, 27 March 2020 13:51 (five months ago) link

In 2001 my girlfriend and I took a road trip from our home near Houston to San Jose to scout out places to live in anticipation of an impending move for grad school. This was going to be the first time that I had left my family and our close circle of friends and there had been endless going away parties and shit. I was excited and handling things pretty well, although in the back of my mind things were sort of jittery. Towards the end of the time in San Jose we went to see AI, the Spielberg/Kubrick movie. Liked it well enough but I felt sort of odd afterwards. When we walked out of the theater and got into our vehicle I broke down hard and couldn't talk well enough to explain what was happening. Gasping sobbing ugly crying. I was a total wreck for about an hour. I guess the little boy/robot being separated from his family is what triggered the episode, but it wasn't that I found the movie terribly sad or even compelling. It just happened to be the key that unlocked all the junk in my head.

We had somewhere we had to be in San Francisco and my lady had to drive because I was incapable. I remember laying on the bench seat in the truck with my head on her lap just like I did with my mom when I was little.

I can't really remember if I liked the movie that much and I periodically think about revisiting it but I turn chicken every time.

Cow_Art, Friday, 27 March 2020 14:51 (five months ago) link

Bowie at the end of Jojo Rabbit broke me.

Hideous Lump, Saturday, 28 March 2020 05:58 (five months ago) link

I’ve knowingly only cried 3 times to a piece of music. But the three culprits make me somewhat ashamed so I’ll never tell.

✖✖✖ (Moka), Saturday, 28 March 2020 06:08 (five months ago) link

it can't be that bad. one of my most memorable time of crying was at the end of terminator 2 (arnold with the thumbs up in the lava), and my dad calling me out on it.

Karl Malone, Saturday, 28 March 2020 06:11 (five months ago) link

I am so starved for human companionship atm.

had to postpone my trip to visit my best friend in Virginia. she's on the spectrum, also struggles with depression, and is very misunderstood by people, because she's really fighting herself in her own head all the time and beats herself up for it.

some of my fav memories (and least fav memories) were with her in the last year. she worries (like I do) about unexplained medical symptoms and had herself freaked out that she needed to go to the ER for neurological issues, and her boyfriend, god bless him, rushed home from what he was doing and tucked her in and gave her her stuffed animal and I just started crying because I was relieved she has someone as wonderful as him in her life (I've met him, he's good people) and I dote on her like a big brother.

I miss her so much :(. I keep worrying that I missed my last chance to see her, as paranoid as that sounds. but when she talks about wanting to die or having suicidal thoughts, I can't help but think those things. we talk on the phone almost every day and have for about 2+ years.

i'm doing ok through this quarantine but every week I feel more starved for human connection. going to Asia alone for work last year was tough, but I was able to make connections with co-workers, who took me out to show me a good time.

I live with a roommate who I barely know and is never home, and although I thought of the idea of proposing shacking with my other best friend (who I've known 16 years), idk if it's a good idea. i may hint at it anyway, but I don't like inviting myself to things, even though this guy would give me the shirt off his back.

i've been drinking so I'm a little emo. but got kinda hit by an unexpected wave tonight that's for sure.

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 March 2020 06:14 (five months ago) link

Thanks for sharing that. A lot of us are going to need to unburden over the coming weeks.

Jeff W, Saturday, 28 March 2020 06:48 (five months ago) link

agree.

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 March 2020 22:46 (five months ago) link

One time I was singing Muskrat Love at the karaoke, and I totally got this lump in my throat, choking back a single, tiny sob, just as I hit the lines about where Sam asking if Suzie will be his Mrs, and Suzie saying yes with her kisses. Some girl, all but snuggling with her boyfriend a few bar stools down, audibly says "Aww he kinda choked up there on that part, did you hear it honey?" thus ensuring everyone shared in my humiliation at my karaoke bar that day.

messiahwannabe, Saturday, 28 March 2020 23:11 (five months ago) link

aw

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 March 2020 23:15 (five months ago) link

i have had this happen to me today

Kate (rushomancy), Sunday, 29 March 2020 01:43 (five months ago) link

I was just listening to Tempest again because of the new Dylan song. I always liked the title track fine but never found it particularly meaningful or moving, but today I was hit hard by "The watchman he lay dreaming/ the damage had been done/ he dreamed the Titanic was sinking/ and he tried to tell someone."

The fillyjonk who believed in pandemics (Lily Dale), Sunday, 29 March 2020 02:28 (five months ago) link

listening to late period Pizzicato Five and maybe it’s just the whole “haven’t heard these great great tunes in 10+ years” thing working its magic but... I get such strong feelings from this stuff. Maki Nomiya is such a fabulous vocalist, especially when she really belts it out. This P5 thing.. Something about the mixture of the Bacharach-y (?) chords with her assured delivery, on top of the sometimes cartoonishly bright PARTY DOWN vibes, it’s a really powerful righteous message of fabulousness, like just kicking down the door of self-flagellation and letting yourself be glamorous and awesome in your own personal way in everyday life. It’s all about her singing, though for me, it totally seals the deal. Why the hell I’ve never bothered to check out her solo career is a tragic mystery. I know, “get a blog”.

brimstead, Friday, 10 April 2020 04:16 (five months ago) link


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