Your impending Avril Lavigne/Chad Kroeger nuptials thread

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Way WAY too much CanCon.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:23 (five years ago) Permalink

OMFG

balls, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:25 (five years ago) Permalink

jason alexander best man

balls, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:25 (five years ago) Permalink

tcote over on Twitter:

Any truth to the rumour that Chad Kroeger & Avril Lavigne's babies will be born with tips already frosted and cutoff socks over their arms?

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:26 (five years ago) Permalink

when the fuck did chad kroeger's hair move on to the late 90s btw?

balls, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:26 (five years ago) Permalink

Probably when it started falling out.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:28 (five years ago) Permalink

...guh?

big-mammed punisher (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:30 (five years ago) Permalink

FTW

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:31 (five years ago) Permalink

shmeh

Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:31 (five years ago) Permalink

wedding of the century

lag∞n, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:33 (five years ago) Permalink

I wonder if the lead singer of Theory of a Deadman is going to get engaged to the lead singer of Lillix.

MarkoP, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:47 (five years ago) Permalink

the barenaked ladies are marrying moxy fruvous.

ezra kleine nachtmusik (get bent), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:47 (five years ago) Permalink

That'll be a whole lot of hair.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:48 (five years ago) Permalink

I asked my wife to guess which two Canadian musicians were engaged -- her first guess was Bieber and Alanis, second guess was Sarah McLachlan and Bryan Adams

some dude, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:55 (five years ago) Permalink

Celine Dion and Leonard Cohen?!

Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:56 (five years ago) Permalink

Neil Young and Anne Murray?

MarkoP, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:59 (five years ago) Permalink

DRAKE AND GEDDY LEE??!?!?!@

Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:59 (five years ago) Permalink

alex in mtl is on fire on twitter:

Craig from Degrassi just announced his engagement to the girl from that one episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Bryan Adams just announced his engagement to Shania Twain.

Carly Rae Jepsen just announced her engagement to Kardinal Offishall. He'll be taking her name & will henceforth be 'Kardinal Rae Jepsen'.

k.d. lang is marrying either Tegan OR Sara. It's unclear.

Chantal Kreviazuk and Raine Maida are still the reigning couple of CanCon. Chadvril can pry that title from their cold dead hands.

some dude, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:01 (five years ago) Permalink

CHADVRIL!

Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:03 (five years ago) Permalink

chadvril reminds me of chervil. i will mince some chadvril and use it in fines herbes.

ezra kleine nachtmusik (get bent), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:06 (five years ago) Permalink

chadvil is what you take to treat a canadian power ballad-induced headache

some dude, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:09 (five years ago) Permalink

this is the best news of the day

jack chick-fil-A (dayo), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:23 (five years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/Wfv19.png

jack chick-fil-A (dayo), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:25 (five years ago) Permalink

where are YOUR terrible songs about rockstars? hmmmm?

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:35 (five years ago) Permalink

ChuckleFack

Gurdas Mane (crüt), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:36 (five years ago) Permalink

chadvril kroegvigne

ezra kleine nachtmusik (get bent), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:37 (five years ago) Permalink

they have achieved in life.

big-mammed punisher (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:40 (five years ago) Permalink

chad kroeger never got a "not working to potential" on his report card.

big-mammed punisher (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:40 (five years ago) Permalink

Stephen Thomas Erlewine:

The answer to the kind of woman who falls for "you look so much cuter with something in your mouth" apparently is Avril Lavigne

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:41 (five years ago) Permalink

It will be Kroeger's first trip down the aisle, and the second marriage for Lavigne, who split from Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley in 2009. She had also dated Brody Jenner.

In a related story, I read an interview with KroegerCollaborator "the Dude from Steel Panther" who revealed that Chad has in his employ a man whose one and only job is to roll joints for Kroeger.

I wager dollars to Tim Horton donuts that Avril will leave Kroeger for that man within three years. It's the 21st Century version of sleeping with the Groundskeeper.

Hut Stricklin at Lake Speed (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:44 (five years ago) Permalink

my extended family is mostly full of people with strong opinions about things like socialized medicine, homosexualists, and the evils of various minorities. (don't get me wrong, i love them dearly.) but i think the most horrifying post-thanksgiving-dinner conversation i ever had to sit through was a serious and in-depth debate about the merits of just about every song in the nickelback catalog, including b-sides.

i actually want to call some of them right now and get their take on this news.

big-mammed punisher (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:45 (five years ago) Permalink

When I tell someone where I work, 95 percent of the time they ask "What bands are on that label?" and I take five seconds to think which ones I could mention to get the smile of recognition that means the conversation can move forward, and then I say "Slipknot and Nickelback."

誤訳侮辱, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:50 (five years ago) Permalink

woah you work for dfa?

balls, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:52 (five years ago) Permalink

think about it, won't you? thank you.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Dhf5ZTZn5o#t=2m05s

da croupier, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:56 (five years ago) Permalink

come vote in my poll fat lip v. how you remind me

jack chick-fil-A (dayo), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:57 (five years ago) Permalink

These engagement dinner photos are great:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_f5iltKJJRPU/TM5DKt2OolI/AAAAAAAAF_A/VgXlmFgh51E/s1600/me+and+the+mullet.jpg

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:58 (five years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/ljkPU.gif

jack chick-fil-A (dayo), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 02:00 (five years ago) Permalink

I think he worked hard for all this! Congratulation Chad... you made it!
biggixjr 3 months ago 9

balls, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 02:01 (five years ago) Permalink

That's big-ass piece of pizza.

Hut Stricklin at Lake Speed (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 02:17 (five years ago) Permalink

man he's one.. weird yet ordinary looking doofus.

piscesx, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 02:25 (five years ago) Permalink

look at this photograph, every time i do etc.

some dude, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 02:29 (five years ago) Permalink

Can you imagine what their sex moans must sound like? "AWWWRRGGGHHHLLLYYAAAEEUUUGGHHHRRRRYYAAHHH!!!"

NR’s resident heavy-metal expert (Nicole), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 03:09 (five years ago) Permalink

aaaand there goes my dinner

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 03:12 (five years ago) Permalink

That is probably the worst thing I've ever wrote or thought.

NR’s resident heavy-metal expert (Nicole), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 03:14 (five years ago) Permalink

chadvril kroegvigne

dying.

nedless summer (Ówen P.), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 03:24 (five years ago) Permalink

I hope their kids are talented at sports

nedless summer (Ówen P.), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 03:25 (five years ago) Permalink

This thread is commanded to decide between Chavril or Chadvril while I sleep tonight.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 03:38 (five years ago) Permalink

okay I'm out of Avril songs

If only Avril was out of Avril songs.

no-one seemed to hear him so he leafed through a magazine (snoball), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:06 (five years ago) Permalink

I kind of feel like she is, even though she still makes songs

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:08 (five years ago) Permalink

I just heard an avril song in the banh mi shop. The mourning was silent but palpable. It was that song from ferngully or whatever that movie was.

these albatrosses have no fear of man (La Lechera), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:19 (five years ago) Permalink

now I want to make an Avril banh mi song

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:21 (five years ago) Permalink

Avril: The Story of Avril

some dude, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:22 (five years ago) Permalink

It will be Kroeger's first trip down the aisle, and the second marriage for Lavigne, who split from Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley in 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzxR-WciQqo

Chris S, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:47 (five years ago) Permalink

Man, this is a real step down for Avril - Sum 41 always seemed like at least competent fun pop-punk dudes, especially on "In Too Deep."

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:53 (five years ago) Permalink

this story has totally made my week
so many lols
thanks chavril!

http://www.1023bob.com/files/CHAVRIL-OFFSPRING-final.jpg

these albatrosses have no fear of man (La Lechera), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 22:54 (five years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

Inevitable:

http://bit.ly/Riieb4

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 23 October 2012 13:23 (five years ago) Permalink

Truly, Avril, you are marrying a gentleman:

http://www.vulture.com/2012/11/chad-kroeger-one-cool-guy.html

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 1 November 2012 17:57 (five years ago) Permalink

in all the mishegoss of fall i totally forgot about this wonderful news

throwing john shade (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Thursday, 1 November 2012 18:01 (five years ago) Permalink

i know it was a given that just hadn't come to mind for me before, but the realisation that nickelback have groupies is deeply troubling.

Perfect Chicken Forever (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 1 November 2012 18:13 (five years ago) Permalink

oh my god! :$

I saw somewhere that Avril's ex & his gf dressed up as Chavril for Halloween, then Kroeger tweeted to them 'we wanted to dress up as you but no one knows who you are' or somesuch which I thought was a decent burn.

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 18:52 (five years ago) Permalink

okay that story is amazing and makes me think more fondly of Chad Kroeger

I can see why he's marrying someone who fired a band member via cake

Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:02 (five years ago) Permalink

the what?

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:12 (five years ago) Permalink

it's really jjj's story to tell but I think I wrote about it here elsewhere, let me look

Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:17 (five years ago) Permalink

first mention here: Simon Reynolds' top albums are UP

Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:19 (five years ago) Permalink

haha it sounded vaguely familiar but i couldn't find anything googling off-board about it

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:20 (five years ago) Permalink

thanks markers! his haha lamed it out a bit IMO. just burn 'deryck,' he deserves it. shitty little suburbs punk.

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:27 (five years ago) Permalink

the fact that deryck went as his baby mama and not as chad makes the costume way funnier and cooler than the response imo

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:39 (five years ago) Permalink

I am pretty sure Deryck is dressed as Chad, regardless of the headline

Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:40 (five years ago) Permalink

why is deryck whibley so bad and hated, ffm?

how's life, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:40 (five years ago) Permalink

this is what whibley looks like

http://www4.images.coolspotters.com/photos/20312/deryck-whibley-profile.jpg

clearly he's avril and not chad in that pic

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:42 (five years ago) Permalink

although the idea of a onetime rock star having a girlfriend THAT ugly is pretty funny

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:42 (five years ago) Permalink

you remember that Chad used to look like this, right:

http://static.tumblr.com/umlpszj/6u3lnzzya/chad-kroeger.jpg

also his girlfriend is pretty obviously dressed like Avril

Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:43 (five years ago) Permalink

oh hahahaha I only just realized that they genderswapped costumes

Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:45 (five years ago) Permalink

I thought you were trolling us.

how's life, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:45 (five years ago) Permalink

haha seriously

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:45 (five years ago) Permalink

http://bit.ly/4B3khT

markers, Thursday, 1 November 2012 19:47 (five years ago) Permalink

no particular reason for Deryck hate. I hate deliberately mispelled names and am willing to blame the sins of the fathers on the children, etc. Also IIRC he's from Whitby, ON and all those little cities east of Toronto are full of annoying skater punks. And other good things.. but the damn skater punks make so much noise. /oldlady

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 20:14 (five years ago) Permalink

Some of the band's songs contain political-social commentary; "The Jester" is an "anti-Bush screed", "Underclass Hero" is a song about class struggle, and "Dear Father" is about Deryck's absent father.

turds (Hungry4Ass), Thursday, 1 November 2012 20:17 (five years ago) Permalink

I don't feel bad - everyone in the Durham region has family troubles & class struggles - I should know, I escaped by the skin of my teeth ;)

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 20:21 (five years ago) Permalink

will give you special credit for helping to inspire my epic poem "Whibley From Whitby" btw

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 20:24 (five years ago) Permalink

omg can't wait!

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 20:31 (five years ago) Permalink

after a brief Wikibrowse I regret to speak out that I was misinformed, he's from Ajax, right beside Whitby. I have failed you :(

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 20:33 (five years ago) Permalink

well that's a sticky Wiki Whibley Whitby wicket, then.

some dude, Thursday, 1 November 2012 20:37 (five years ago) Permalink

<3

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 1 November 2012 21:43 (five years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

And here it is. Merry Christmas.

http://popdust.com/2012/12/12/avril-lavigne-chad-kroeger-nickelback-how-you-remind-me-cover/

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 15:15 (four years ago) Permalink

lol i actually really like it

teledyldonix, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 16:37 (four years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Tru luv.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 1 August 2014 16:22 (three years ago) Permalink

hubby

love is how's life tonight (how's life), Friday, 1 August 2014 16:49 (three years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

If this is true and the two split up, Chad Kroeger should marry Mutt Lange.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 September 2014 18:02 (three years ago) Permalink

The top comment on that article:

I eagerly await the Lifetime biopic with Taylor Momson and Dax Shepard.

MaudAddam (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 17 September 2014 22:18 (three years ago) Permalink

eleven months pass...

Might this be...TRUE?

In a related story, I read an interview with KroegerCollaborator "the Dude from Steel Panther" who revealed that Chad has in his employ a man whose one and only job is to roll joints for Kroeger.

I wager dollars to Tim Horton donuts that Avril will leave Kroeger for that man within three years. It's the 21st Century version of sleeping with the Groundskeeper.

― Hut Stricklin at Lake Speed (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, August 21, 2012 6:44 PM (3 years ago)

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 2 September 2015 19:32 (two years ago) Permalink

I guess this means that everyone has a forthcoming divorce-themed Nickelback album to avoid.

Turrican, Wednesday, 2 September 2015 19:38 (two years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

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