In Honor Of ILX Being Ten, How About Some Quotable Posts Of Yore.

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I bought Loveless a year ago and it's tuneless rubbish really. It's so fucking bad it makes you want to cry. As far as the songs go, let's face it, it's noisy garbage with no catch.
So why is it rated so highly? Cos Kevin Shields spent £250,000 to produce something that sounds like a cat being slowly strangled?

Am I the only one to pronounce, loudly and proudly, "My Bloody Valentine"... what a load of shite"???

Answers?

― Calum Robert, Sunday, April 21, 2002 12:00 AM

scott seward, Friday, 27 August 2010 13:05 (nine years ago) link

What? What are you TALKING about? Christ, it's not as if there aren't enough try-hard pretentious twats around here, and we're hardly lacking in obscure-for-the-sake-of-it elitists. What are you trying to say? Are you trying to be clever? What do you mean? WHAT DO YOU WANT???
― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 14 May 2004 11:59 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ward Fowler, Friday, 27 August 2010 13:08 (nine years ago) link

OK, I'm bored and sad so I'm going to attempt to break down the thread as I saw it:
1) Original poster James picks misleading/provocative thread title and couches what would otherwise be a harmless inquiry about experimental rap in the dangerous area of "rap on the whole is stagnant and I want the newness".
2) The usual suspects mock this. Most of us are all "ok, fine, pfhsgh" because we're familiar with these posters. ddrake initially chimes in with "instruments in rap /= progressive" and gets little if any real hostility.
3) ddrake then mistakes "progressive/experimental" for "white", flings out a "you know that's what you really mean" equivalent ("admit it") and suddenly the tone of Typical ILM Prog-Rap Mockery gets a bit weird
4) Ned sez "because instruments are white! oh wait" and ddrake fires back "U R NOT OF TEH FUNNIE"
5) ddrake: "Seriously though, unless you actually know the hip hop history, which it sounds like you don't, I'd wait to listen to "prog" hip hop. " [emphasis mine]
6) A couple more joke posts, a couple geniune attempts to steer the thread into actual topical coherence ("Dalek?"), J0hn being all "Ned OTM"
7) dd: "Oh give me a break! Dilute, my friends, dilute!" Then he goes onto some snotty "prog is unfun" jibe.
8) Jokes jokes jokes. The nate that is not me says "The twisted part is that some people actually like challenging their brains."
9) dd: "Rush! Yes! Prog stupid! Also read it, motherfuckers!"
10) not me nate: "But Braxton/Cornel/Toni Morrison..."
11) Ned to o. nate: "ddrake will get mad at you now and claim you don't understand hip-hop. You are so burned. *cue ddrake: 'Ha ha, where is your sense of humor, dork, etc.'*"
12) "you're out of your league, donnie."
13) dd shortly later: "Blues People is a more incredible work than anything anyone on ILM has accomplished...a more important work as well. That I can't believe more of you haven't read." [here is where my arrogance alarm goes off.]
14) Ned sums up the crux of the issue: "Remind me again how you've assumed you know what everyone here has read/listened to/thought again? I missed the proof of your omniscience here."
15) Some stupid bullshit ensues
16) Wooster is namedropped
17) Accusations of privacy intrusions fly
18) The thread officially becomes ridiculous
19) Everyone tries to explain to ddrake why they're mad at him
20) ddrake gets mad defensive
21) I forgot to mention, blount has a field day
22) OWNED
23) A failed attempt to return to original discussion in the thread
24) ddrake: "So "whitening" in the case in which I am using it refers to the values inherent in the musicians' musical ideas. White CULTURE rather than white PEOPLE."
25) Oh no
26) nickalicious and scott seward simmer things down somewhat
27) Perry sums everything up neatly
28) Numerous thread-locking requests go out
29) Oh yeah, there's some stuff about Amiri Baraka in here too (c/o J0hn Darn1elle)
30) Someone named "Big Boi" stomps in, says "prog rap is shit!" only in much wordier terms, resorts to name-dropping the Strokes, then eventually disappears
31) "Ned and his ethugs" are mentioned
32) People start backtracking in an attempt to recap this thread
33) This goes on for a while
34) There is a delightful Popeye intermission
35) An ugly goulash of meta-spastic he-said-he-said "no no no I'M RIGHT I WIN" nonsense and arrogant written-in-stone declarations of what various genres TRULY AND REALLY ARE AND AREN'T, DAMN IT
36) This actually goes on for a while
37)
38) more pictures, which ddrake calls "unclever"
39) see #35
40) I post this
41) I feel dirty

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Tuesday, November 18, 2003 4:50 AM

scott seward, Friday, 27 August 2010 13:12 (nine years ago) link

Someone post Delmar before the page break happens

hold me, thrill me, kiss me, lil b (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 27 August 2010 13:55 (nine years ago) link

i guess u had to be there xp

k'naamean (zvookster), Friday, 27 August 2010 13:57 (nine years ago) link

I don't care if you're white black a bitch or a fucking bum off of the streets. If you rap about shooting people, smoking blunts, wearing timbs, drinking hennessy, and whatever else, I'll buy your music. If you rap about your girl, but don't call her a bitch, fuck you. If you rap about the economy and how its hurts migrant workers, fuck you. If you rap about your rap telekenisis or some equally retarded nerd shit, fuck you. That basically how I break it down to an extent.

-- dat nigga delmar, Wednesday, January 28, 2004 12:55 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

k'naamean (zvookster), Friday, 27 August 2010 13:59 (nine years ago) link

Two responses, Robin:-
1. Do I love you? Indeed I do. 2. Get ur freak out. Get ur freak out.

Order reversible. Libido unquestioned.

Does that answer your question?

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, April 23, 2001 12:00 AM

Not quite sure *exactly* what you mean, Marcello, but it sounds like a positive sign.
― Robin Carmody, Monday, April 23, 2001 12:00 AM

scott seward, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:01 (nine years ago) link

oh ur gonna be a treat
― david allen grier (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:46 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:01 (nine years ago) link

i like that scott is posting weird obscure posts instead of the same-old same-old ilx injokes

piranha karenina (s1ocki), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:01 (nine years ago) link

Few words fucking rolling stones kick the crap of anything the peppers put on the table.

Settle down, Grandpa.

-- Alex in NYC, Monday, 30 June 2008 08:39

ilxor has truly been got at and become an ILXor (ilxor), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:02 (nine years ago) link

I really am fucking sick of what should be a forum for expressing passion and wonderment at music/culture degenerating into the pathetic old male game of "I've got more CDs than you," "I bought 290 CDs at once," "I have at least 2,000,000 CDs, not counting the vinyl, in my bathroom, but I lost count." For fuck's sake! There were RIOTS going on today (I know . . . I was in one)! WAKE UP! If ILM is simply going to be glorified philately then I might as well look at the Stanley Gibbons website instead for all the good it will do.
― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, May 1, 2001 12:00 AM

scott seward, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:03 (nine years ago) link

i have to stop with marcello though or i will literally be here all day. so eminently quotable.

scott seward, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:04 (nine years ago) link

i like that u are not a pimp is titled u are not a pimp, even though the girl on the hook says you not a pimp. if you say it in your head, u are not a pimp, it sounds very forceful because it's a full sentence and when you say it out loud, it's very funny. u are not a pimp.

― William Wiggins, Wednesday, February 25, 2004 2:22 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ciderpress, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:12 (nine years ago) link

Yeah, well, I'm married to a curvy Colombian woman, so the flowers of indie rock womanhood look decidedly dingy and drab to me, and always have. The indie world's concept of sexy is very closely related to its concept of "rock": limp, non-threatening, far more interested in talking than fucking.

― unperson, Tuesday, January 8, 2008 12:51 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark

unchill english bro (history mayne), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:15 (nine years ago) link

I had a friend who would chew up two hula-hoops and then deposit the chewed up gloop inside the O of a third hula-hoop. then she'd eat it.
Yup, I used to do this. I'd also chew up a couple of pringles and use the resulting paste as a sandwich spread between two intact pringles.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, April 20, 2005 2:57 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

unchill english bro (history mayne), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:17 (nine years ago) link

took me a minute to realize that 'hula-hoop' in this context referred to a snack food product of some sort

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:20 (nine years ago) link

And speaking of Marcello:

--

Kids! Listen and learn as man of action Jason Pierce “pierces” together another one of his immortal rock classic Spiritualized anthems. Admire his skill and craftmanship as he weaves his magic to produce exactly the same song which he has been putting out for the last ten years – from the most basic ingredients!

SCENE: A hushed studio in north-east London lit only by crimson lava lamps. Jason “Piercing” Pierce sits crosslegged on the same carpet which George “Harry” Harrison used to record “Within You Lord My Piggies Pass” with a sitar in his lap which he may one day learn to play. He lays the sitar down carefully and picks up his dobro Stratofendercastpaul 1948 spat-upon-by-Gram-Parsons vintage guitar-shaped thing.

Behind him are seated his band of hired agency hands (contract-only, won’t complain about pay) keen with anticipation for the latest unformed outpouring from his personal Erato.

He solemnly strums a C major chord in adagio tempo, modulating to an E major chord, and then back again. The bass joins in, reproducing precisely the bottom note of each of these chords. After five minutes the drummer joins in, beating solemnly on his solitary tom-tom in the exquisitely pre-post-minimalist style of the Velvet Underground, whose song “Heroin” sounds nothing like anything Spiritualized have ever recorded, for legal reasons.

At eight-and-a-half minutes the mouth of Jason “Donovan” Pierce is pregnant with expiration of his unfettered emotional Camelot. He can bear it no more and begins to intone solemnly (not at all orgasmically):-

“Down. I’m comin’ down. The only way is up. But I’m goin’ down. Down. Down. Oh, my Sweet Lord. There’s blood on my tracks. I’m runnin’ low on my smack. I’m comin’ down. As opposed to sideways. Thinkin’ of those lazy hazy crazy days. To leave my lover there must be 50 ways. The tracks of my tears. Holdin’ back the years. Tears for souvenirs. But tears are not enough. I’m lookin’ for some hot stuff. Baby tonight. Wanna feel alright. The heat is bendin’ my spoon. I’m on the dark side of the moon. I can see the girl from Mars. Playin’ my ten guitars. Never gonna give you up. I’m like a lonely pup. In a Christmas shop. Dancin’ at the hop. But I’m comin’ down. The drugs don’t work. Where’s Captain Kirk? A love supreme. Strange Brew by Cream. She’s got Bette Davis eyes. You’re the devil in disguise. My camera never lies. True love will never dies. My shit’s takin’ an awful long time to cook. She got sexy eyes like Dr Hook. I read it in a book. Knight’s castle to rook. You made me realise. Baby what a big surprise. The girl who lives on heaven hill. Next door to Barnacle Bill. I’m feelin’ oh so fine. Just like it was 1969. And I’m comin’ down no more. Gonna knock on the green door. ‘Cos I’m goin’ high. High in the sky. Up where we belong. You can tell everybody that this is your song. Whoops, this ain’t Moulin Rouge. The nearest tube is street called Goodge. I’m getting’ high! With my American Pie!”

The band suddenly erupts into a feedback-laden climax. Enter the London Community Gospel Choir, their faces beaming with joy as they think of making even more money out of singing dumb whitey public school shit.

“OH HAPPY DAY! OH MY SWEET LORD! OH RELEASE ME! WE ARE THE WORLD!!”

Repeat for 12 minutes, then add Terry Edwards and bloke who plays sax on Stereolab records to echo the primary two chords of the song precisely, and then indulge in some desultory free-form “freakouts” (would like to do “Ascension” but “David” Jason Pierce has an eye on Steve Lamacq’s playlist. In any case he doesn’t know what “Ascension” sounds like, having bought it second-hand in 1994 but never having played it).

Just as the whole stew is about to boil over, Jason “Connery” Pierce adds the icing on the cake. He stops the whole ensemble to whisper:-

“Just say no to drugs. ‘Cos baby it’s tragic. But just say yes. To boogie woogie piano magic.”

Yes! It’s Jools Holland to play the band out with some goodtime rolling boogie-woogie piano magic! Fade out: “AbbbbababaBlueberry! Hill! Sam! Brown! Acoustic!” et fucking cetera.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, September 13, 2001 5:00 PM (8 years ago)

Ned Raggett, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:22 (nine years ago) link

Can we get some A+ dave q quotes up in this biatch?

ilxor has truly been got at and become an ILXor (ilxor), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:25 (nine years ago) link

ned that post is truly stunning

I.C.P. Freely (bernard snowy), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:26 (nine years ago) link

We need 'man who didn't like bob dylan' and the Springsteen bit ITT.

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:29 (nine years ago) link

Dave Q quotes, you say...

--

(For the remainder of this post I will replace the names 'Flipper' and 'Joy Division' with appropriate substitutes)

Band/fans thing solved definitively - who would you rather be stuck in an airline seat next to, somebody wearing a 'Charlie Tuna' friendly line-drawing t-shirt or the ubiquitous jagged-pancake-stack 'Comfort Women' one? (Either that or the Vatican postcard one?) Admit it, by now any sane person will run away from somebody wearing the 'Srebenica Serb Spunk Spitfire' top, even an MSP 'Teenage Revolutionary Glam Suicide' one is less embarassing. It's a mystery why there's so many more of the 'Doctor (Mengele) & the Medics' ones about though - 'Cetacean' invented 'emo' (which I don't care about except in the context of this sentence, i.e. 'it exists') and 'grunge' ("Life" ripped "Spirit of Radio" ten years before "Teen Spirit" did "More Than a Feeling" - important due to suggesting classic rock/underground crossover that was necessary for subsequent alteration of rock landscape i.e. people BUYING stuff that 'sounded underground' even if it was underground stuff that sounded classic and the commercial angle is crucial IMHO because isn't expanding your community enough so that it crosses over or overlaps the whole point of making music that isn't just onanism in the first place? And sadly for some idealists, commercial success (even by proxy) is still the only reliable indicator of this and Brits have a real problem with that because it involves talking about MONEY and that's a sore point as none of them HAVE any, so as a defense mechanism they prefer heroic (ha) failures like Nick Drake or Ian Curtis and use their supposed interestingness to prop up their own fatalism, the socialism of an apolitical age), whereas 'Nazi Sex Torturers' invented - Marion? 'Phlegmish'? (As in 'mucus', not that country that shelters terrorists and pedophiles) (OK there's been enough justified slating of Curtis' hilarious Kermit the Frog singing, so let's look elsewhere for 'Liebensraum''s musical features - hey, y'know those dopey bass players who say, 'They're like guitars but easier - less strings!' And then play like it IS a guitar, i.e. no rhythm whatever, just disconnected notes, like an especially slow and maladroit J Mascis solo, except an octave lower? 'SS Party Squad' made a 'sound' out of it! 'Little Mermaid' OTOH did the grinding thing AND the fast thing [Sequencing "Living for the Depression" next to "Sex Bomb", aside from being like if Coltrane out "Giant Steps" and "Ascension" out on the same album in 1959, presaged both 'hardcore'-via-'mathcore'-to-what hardcore became (i.e. 'space drone' etc.) but as in the 'emo' and 'grunge' things, they can't be blamed for those either if you don't like them but must be credited if you liked ANY of it! Heh] and if you like flawed, imperfect singing and playing (the 'Battery Cage Sex Slaves' fan's last line of defense) then 'Free Willy''s got out-of-tune Harry Partch guitarrs, cacophonous yelling and the least Neil Peart-like drumming since Kleenex but all this is actually mixed in with other stuff ("...Depression" is quite tight high-speed mathcore) and the incompetent bits are done far more energetically and (ahem) HOOK-y than the muffled, it's-COLD-in-here-let's-play-wearing-baseball-mitts stuff on 'Institutional Gang Rape''s records. Energetic maybe because 'Moby Dick' sang "Life is the only thing worth living for", and Curtis said it all with the first line of 'Unknown (ha) Pleasures (double ha)' - "I'M LOOKING FOR A GUIDE TO TAKE ME BY THE HAND" - I see, he wants his mommy. (Or his 'nanny state' - WHOAH! I didn't say that, I get in enough shit as it is, ignore that) Then again, this kind of babyishness isn't surprising for somebody who killed himself rather than face the consequences of abandoning his wife and child, but an artist's moral shortcomings aren't important, it's that he couldn't even transform his inadequacy into one decent line. ("Atrocity Exhibition" - wow, stealing titles from hip books and writing lyrics betraying no reading whatever of said book, that's so Iron Maiden. Actually I think "Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner" just unwittingly reiterates everything I've ever said about the British but here's not the time or place) And yes I know that 'Miami Mascot''s Will Shatter is a dead junkie, but between him and Curtis I know who would've given a more honest answer to this fabulous couplet question (courtesy of 'Legendary SF punk band named for TV dolphin') - "EVER THINK YOU'RE SMART/ AND THEN FIND OUT YOU'RE NOT?"

― dave q, Wednesday, July 10, 2002 5:00 PM

Ned Raggett, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:31 (nine years ago) link

And a post that actually got me into the album:

--
Music from 'The Elder'

Kiss go prog, with Lou Reed co-writing and his producer producing! Has anyone heard this thing? This is 'prog' as imagined by people who've never actually heard it, but saw a Bill Bailey routine once. (I played D&D for 20 minutes once as a kid, and couldn't BELIEVE how serious people were getting! They were jumping around the room throwing stuff! After realising I wasn't taking it very seriously they threw me out of the game in disgust, which I didn't mind as I couldn't BELIEVE anybody could get so worked up over something so stupid. Don't you hate people like that, who always lose at shit and then say, "Well, it's a stupid game anyway?" I do, but...)

I don't know whose idea it was to get a band who couldn't play worth a shit and have them do Floyd/Rush epic tapestries with a symphony orchestra, but they definitely got some 'interesting' results. Even better, the lyricists responsible for "Room Service", "Plaster Caster" and "I want to rock and roll all nite and party every day" tackled the themes of good vs. evil and the hero's quest through mystical umm err ahh floopgaloop cosmic chakra satori juju delphic oracles. And the result sounds vaguely Japanese for some reason. Plus there's a lot of weird shit as well!
The first track is "The Oath" and it's really terrible. Forget 'JC Superstar', this track doesn't even rock as hard as 'Cats'. Then there's an Elizabethan instrumental, harpsichords, french horns and all. Ace Frehley sounds stoned as usual during his vocal turn, but maybe he's trying to sound like Lou Reed who wrote it. (The album's produced by Bob Ezrin, who apparently had a nervous breakdown making Reed's 'Berlin'. He also did Floyd's 'Wall' and apparently works on the principle that if something works once it'll work again, and again, and again. Notice how almost every album he's done since Alice Cooper features a crying baby on it somewhere.) "Only You" sounds like Split Enz. Really. You could sing "I Got You" over it, or "One Step Ahead". They had the same idea over and over too, but it was an OK one. In that way Commonwealth bands tend to be 'OK'. Why is it that the most evil, psycho countries (USA, England, Japan, Germany, who are collectively responsible for, I dunno, 99% of world suffering over the last 400 years) make all the 'great' stuff? Some of you swear by Sweden, which would fuck up my theory royally although some in the Northeast with long memories (1400 years) might still carry a grudge but I'm yet to be fully convinced...anyhow...
Then there's a really big surprise! An actual song, that would sound cool from almost anyone, but from this band, it's miraculous. "A World Without Heroes" is just fucking great. Sort of an eerie, claustrophobic chamber music w/ discreet SFX and a guitar that actually adds something lyrical, as opposed to turning it into a power ballad like these bands usually do. The lizard tongue guy actually cares about something! What he cares ABOUT is green Kryptonite or something, but it works. You can tell the Creedmore Candle ("And if the room's still too dark, I'll take off my socks!") wrote the next song, "Mr Blackwell" (I don't THINK this is the same Blackwell who starred in Scratch Perry's "Chris Blackwell is a Vampire", because isn't there a law against having two different character assassination laws about the same person? Maybe it's to do with Gene going out with Cher at the time), because the lyrics are that hilarious 'Transformer' style of limp-wristed aggression. "You're cold and mean! A real disgrace! You should be banished from the human race!" Go on Lou, hit Gene with a flower! This would be a cool song if it didn't go on for about 8 years. "Escape from the Island" is the Certificate of Progness, i.e. an instrumental. This is Kiss, so they're not going to come up with "Fracture" or "Toccata", and they don't, but it IS different, those chunk-chunk-chunk half-stepping diads in the first half sound like Black Flag morphing into the Meat Puppets (circa 'MP II', their best album y'wanna fight about it), then the tom-heavy rockabilly turns into "I Want Candy"! Definitely a big advance from "Love Theme From Kiss".
After that, straight into the overturned outhouse with "Odyssey". Jesus wept. Paul Stanley apparently does broadway now, and despite Kiss' theatricalness he CANNOT sing this type of stuff. This is priceless, worse than William Shatner. Maybe the words embarrass him, so the phrase "In that en-chan-ted pla-a-a-a-ce" and "along the way-ay...(pause)...ay-ay..(pause)...ay-ay" is delivered with a mixture of hamminess and discombobulation that sounds like a very drunk cross between Frank Zappa and Rik Mayall. There's the big finish with "I" (as in "I! Believe in ME!") which they probably though was going to be made the new national anthem, which would be a stupid idea even if they didn't fuck it up by putting the word "balls" in it. YOU CANNOT HAVE A NATIONAL ANTHEM WITH THE WORD 'BALLS' IN IT! (Although some of those Third World anthems are funny. "We'll fight, kill, mutilate/ dismember and decapitate/ for honour and soil!" etc) Even better is the bit where it goes all handclaps and Paul does a hideous Alan Vega impersonation. "Uh do-uh need-uh no muh-huh-neeeee...." Oh, did I mention that Kiss and their producer tend to repeat themselves a lot? This is basically the same song as "Shout it Out Loud", which was the same song as Alice Cooper's "Elected". But they really FEEL this one, you can tell by the way they answer "I believe in me!" with "Do ya do ya do ya do ya!" etc. Like they did in "Do Ya Love Me" too, come to think of it. Because I REALLY wanna know! (There's some broken-catheter painful monologue after, but I always stop it before then because I'd rather have the rousing "I" ringing in my mind's ear than some Harry Potter shit. Although I haven't seen or read it and I'm sure it's very good.)
Apparently Kiss' career declined after this, and they don't play any of the songs from it ever, or even talk about its existence, and neither do their fans. Definitely something different for prog fans (or maybe militant non-fans) or stoopid-party-rock fans (or maybe ditto) alike!

― dave q, Tuesday, December 18, 2001 5:00 PM

Did I mention that even though it was recorded in 1981 it sounds like it was done in 1973?

― dave q, Tuesday, December 18, 2001 5:00 PM

Ned Raggett, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:33 (nine years ago) link

Wow @ that Marcello post, that's amazing

Chaim Poutine (NickB), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:35 (nine years ago) link

always missed: george gossett

haven't got into the grateful dead at all -- i like the spirit, the idea, the name, but the blues based jam notion, the americana, the folk music, it all means nothing to me
as to the Deac C, i got very sick of them when they were a part of a big PR push from croney nick cain and his magazine opprobrium which badly aped the style of the old FE magazine and more importantly tried to align the dead c with free-er art music in general, and misguided adventures into and understandings of improv in particular

and at about that time ('97-'99) the dead c lost their charm for me by seemingly buying into this opprobrium crap, with bruce russell reviewing records for that magazine and nick writing back-scratching reviews of dead c releases, & at about that time, this special new "free noise" was championed by bruce russell's corpus hermeticum label that's own cd releases themselves included endless philisophical tracts about the nature of music, art and noise -- the tone of all the writing was very self-congatrulatory -- the dead c broke their publicity veil of mystery in this very public way, the reviews in opprobrium by russell all reading like back-slapping pay-back for like minded cronies in other countries

when the dead c were still modest, in earlier less famous times, the arly '90s, still experimenting, like cds and lps like "feel good all over" and "trapdoor **** exit", they were very interesting and it was a joy to see this sort of thing coming out of nz, and it made me somewhat proud to have come from nz myself

so to see this whole magazine and new record label juggernaut launched off the back of what had been a real honest cottage industry that as such had almost accidentally produced real art, that was a dissapointing turn for the worse

the magazine had a smug superiority tone mostly reflected in reviews done by nick the editor, which were either overbearingly superlative to the point of appearing hopelessly insincere, or they slagged review platter and most often the artist too to the point of "hey, it's ridiculous to assume that this [band of losers, etc] could ever impress anyone with [insert attempted dandy/oscar wilde quip damning with faint praise here]"

for example, little nz battler bill direen got needlessly slammed in this mag (for being, i dunno, old and resident nz talent, rather than new and interesting and part of the new wave of nyc/japan/nz circuit bands like those on corpus hermeticum or part of the new noise/art clique, friends of thurston moore, the new scene that supposedly the dead c & mutual back-scratchers sonic youth were godfathers to)

so opprobrium is now a web-zine and recently (typically)slammed eddie prevost, AMM and such improvisors in y'know that "we know it all" tone, er, paraphrase: [all those old improvisors, we're sooo bored with those old guys, why don't they go off and die ..]

so take the dead c stuff and avoid the "free noise" they claimed to be spearheading (the albums repent and tusk and whitehouse were from this period) and especially avoid anything written by people bandwagon jumping, or music like slothful slow moving nz bands that improvise "free noise"

there are other newer dead c albums too that friends tell me are good that do not mention "free noise" or that mag. -- the dead c seem to have reverted to the publicity-shy private tape-assemblers -- "live albums" never worked too well unless the live stuff was touched up (like studio then live version of 4th song on "trapdoor **** exit" )

i don't like "harsh '70s reality" or "operation of the sonne" or bruce russell solo records (though his handful of dust/omit ahared credits album is quite fun) -- everybody has different favourite dead c albums, which is part of the inscrutable charm

and i do wish them well, the best, i hope they keep on doing well in new ways, a bit like what they used to do well when no-one was looking -- now no-one is looking again so they might be doing well

the lesson for me has been that entrepeneurial journalists trying to create synergies for the band by getting their opinions for reviews and trading on being matey with them or being part of the same scene will alienate people who admire the band for it's single-minded modesty

of course free jazz, "fire music" etc.. is not the big deal now that it was in the late '90s when lot's of people were finally being introduced to the likes of sun ra (pretty much missing out on the main event there) -- now yoshide, fennesz, the dead c are all part of a wider shared knowledge of music partly enabled by list-serves and other internet type special interest niche marketing -- amd FE which were the people who first helped sell dead c records to the rest of the world, people who have been as important as projects like opprobrium have been annoying distractions

[thjis was written extremely fast with no proof reading in attempt to be honest and leave "felt" impressions rtaher than create soem other impression or serve some agenda .. generally i think the principles that motivate the deadc to do what they do in the musical sense have produced drone music with real content, and content is the thing so often lacking in drone music .. dead c are a very good musique concrete band, in that as music concrete, the band rocks .. i think that some of their best polished studio experiments are what has made this band special so far .. the notion that the band can "improvise" "live" with feedback and given that so many of their songs are assemblages is intuitively wrong to me, and so grouping them in with any of the improv or virtruostic free jazz that finally became popular in the late '90s is to do both that music and the unique music of the dead c a dis-service]

it's also worth noting that it takes a while to get on friendly terms with some dead c records, but they pay off and the songs become old friends, like some other good but quite different avant music

― george gosset (gegoss), Thursday, 26 June 2003 05:48 (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ward Fowler, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:37 (nine years ago) link

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0

― bosko, Monday, 14 June 2004 16:22 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Stevie is a bit lame, if you hate fun (stevie), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:41 (nine years ago) link

otm

unchill english bro (history mayne), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:41 (nine years ago) link

Here we go:

Perhaps it's something to do with the fact that people always seem to expect me to like him, and are always shocked when I say "actually, no". Ditto Radiohead, Pink Floyd, Charlatans et al.

I can just see their glassy-eyed incomprehension as they gaze - perhaps understanding for the first time just what kind of maverick they're dealing with here - upon the face of a man who plays by nobody's rules. The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan is dangerous to know, he's some unnameable dark force of chaos, a tornado twisting through the Mojo offices sending their clipping files into the Thames. He's the man who saw right through it all and said, "I listened to half a side of Blood on The Tracks, and I didn't like it." That's all it took for The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan to become the legend he is today. Some say they met him in their high school art class and he sported a spiderweb tattoo and was a big Corrosion of Conformity fan. Others say he drove a van and was "really into reggae but not that Marley shit, strickly dub roots, maaaaaan". Others say they heard The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan doing the overnight show on an Ivy League campus radio station playing Woody Guthrie and Phil Ochs. Some say TMWDLD was their own dad - and that he gave away his old copy of Blonde on Blonde when he got a cd player saying "he was never much of a guitar player, no Santana that's for sure." He's somewhere out on the highway right now drifting from town to town with eyes steel-grey and impenetrably deep, hunting like a great white wonder for some poor kid in a coffee shop - so easy to spot with their unkempt curly locks and dark sunglasses - some poor sapsucker who swallowed it hook line and sinker. The Man Who Doesn't Like Dylan is here and things will never be the same for any of us, anywhere.

― fritz, Sunday, April 28, 2002 8:00 PM Bookmark

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:42 (nine years ago) link

get smooved

ciderpress, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:56 (nine years ago) link

Wasn't that basically lifted from The Onion?

Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:57 (nine years ago) link

i dunno, probably. it just popped up on random threads and i hadnt seen it before

ciderpress, Friday, 27 August 2010 14:58 (nine years ago) link

Ned, thank you, that Joy Division vs. Flipper post is one for the ages.

ilxor has truly been got at and become an ILXor (ilxor), Friday, 27 August 2010 14:59 (nine years ago) link

all of the mp3's i've gotten have been off of slsk
big up to all the ilx'ers who've helped

fuck off to shithead ilx'ers who ban people

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, July 30, 2003 7:16 PM

scott seward, Friday, 27 August 2010 15:46 (nine years ago) link

I can change my anus to shit in all shapes/lengths/sizes ! I´ma shit-artist!

― I have a triangular anus, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 04:00 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

great British wasteman = u (DJ Mencap), Friday, 27 August 2010 16:12 (nine years ago) link

darraghmac wrote this on thread Football is a bloated corrupt game that has lost its soul. on board I Love Everything on 30-Aug-2007

jol out

Nasty, Brutish & Short wrote this on thread Real Estate bubble bust may be worse than Dot Com bubble bust on board I Love Everything on 21-Jan-2008

Jol out!

That one guy that hit it and quit it wrote this on thread Euro 2008 on board I Love Everything on 21-Nov-2007

jol out

Herman G. Neuname wrote this on thread Euro 2008 on board I Love Everything on 13-Jun-2008

jol out?

Chopper Aristotle (Matt DC) wrote this on thread Can anything stop Cameron becoming the next PM? on board I Love Everything on 18-Nov-2008

Jol out.

Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics) wrote this on thread Seinfeld: "Whaaaat's the deeeeeeeeal with rape?" on board I Love Everything on 09-Dec-2008

Jol out

Matt DC wrote this on thread Ken vs. Boris: It's So On on board I Love Everything on 01-May-2008

Jol out.

darraghmac wrote this on thread Liverpool still won't win the premiership (2007/08 edition) on board I Love Everything on 17-Aug-2007

jol out.

Dom Passantino wrote this on thread Liverpool still won't win the premiership (2007/08 edition) on board I Love Everything on 26-Apr-2008

Jol out.

darraghmac wrote this on thread Not location specific, No rules: Welcome to ILX heaven on board I Love Everything on 16-Oct-2007

jol out.

Search Again... Next...

a hoy hoy, Friday, 27 August 2010 16:32 (nine years ago) link

in bed, with blankets over my lower half, wearing a t-shirt and stretched burgundy underwear, with my laptop (heavy, warm) on my chest, playing minesweeper and listening to cbc overnight on radio 1 (hourlong chops of public radio world service feeds from around the world from midnight to four thirty so soothing foreign accents and always about coral reefs or german parliamentary politics or the united nations and israel)-- switch on the lamp and take out my retainer and turn off the radio and get my headphones from beside my bed and roll back into position and switch the lamp off and plug the headphones in and. jerk off to one of ten movies i've been jerking off to for six months, a year, headphones and in the dark-- mostly watching, not jerking off, the actual masturbation part is over quick and against the wall (get as little on the sheets as possible)(try to remember not to roll against it later). already have winamp ready and song selected (this one). because there is one minute after the whole thing, where i'm in a special state, where i have a feeling i never have, which is a mix between being really thirsty, like i just ate a bunch of pringles and my mouth is really dry and salty, and wanting, sort of, to be hugged. hard to describe. and i usually listen to whatever my favorite song then is but now it's only the ones i have on my laptop righ then but now it's only a woman's threat. there is no sadder song in the world. i lie in the dark, with my laptop screen folded down as low as it will go (if you close it all the way, it turns off or goes into some kind of standby mode) and just feeling my face crack like an egg and it's so relentless, so many beautiful, heartbreaking details. i think it's about a woman saying to a man that if he keeps fucking around, he's going to lose all of these things about her, all of these little things that -- i'm listening to it right now and crying out of my right eye i just soaked up the tears with a kleenex that was on the bed the chair is right beside a bed i'm in the spare bedroom -- are her and like it's just her life. but it just feels like so hopeless kind of but so happy too and how i feel i can't describe it fuck. i just wanted to see people write aboutit this song is so important to me. i didn't hear it a long time ago
― William Wiggins, Monday, March 1, 2004 1:50 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

symsymsym, Friday, 27 August 2010 16:35 (nine years ago) link

Waiting For The Sirens' Call
Waiting For The Sirens' Call
Waiting For The Sirens' Call
Waiting For The Sirens' Call
YSI?
― mclaugh (mclaugh), Tuesday, February 8, 2005 12:35 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark

Any chance of a YSI?
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, April 3, 2005 4:02 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

Never heard... care to post a YSI?
― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Monday, April 18, 2005 10:25 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

YSI?
― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, May 2, 2005 4:32 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

paul WS anderson (history mayne), Friday, 27 August 2010 16:38 (nine years ago) link

ni**a please, i'm not even near the same league of douchebag as ol' baldy head.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 31 March 2005 03:00 (4 years ago)

Why did you use asterisks? DID YOU NOT WANT TO GET CAUGHT?!?!?! OMG GOOGLE FOR NIGGA AND FIND JOREL

― bro dudely (deangulberry), Thursday, 31 March 2005 03:03 (4 years ago)

('_') (omar little), Friday, 27 August 2010 16:40 (nine years ago) link

really hope i was being hilarious there

real s1ock (s1ocki), Friday, 27 August 2010 16:48 (nine years ago) link

probably, as i have no idea what that album is

real s1ock (s1ocki), Friday, 27 August 2010 16:48 (nine years ago) link

I get it

goole, Friday, 27 August 2010 16:58 (nine years ago) link

despite the joking nature of this thread i really did see damo suzuki's naked penis.

― ethan, Saturday, May 11, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago)

and re. damo's circumcision status:

and he was about to pee so it couldve been pulled back if he was.

― ethan, Saturday, May 11, 2002 7:00 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Some guys don't do that, you know. It's like a personal preference thing.

― matthew m., Saturday, May 11, 2002 7:00 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

no matt i didnt know that, because you dont talk to me about uncut penises nearly enough.

― ethan, Saturday, May 11, 2002 7:00 PM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

strongohulkingtonsghost, Friday, 27 August 2010 17:02 (nine years ago) link

The smile on my face, disguises the case, I bury the truth deep down in (ken c) wrote this on thread "A small thread with a small mentality" - Liverpool and Man City won't win the Premiership 2009/10 on board I Love Everything on Feb 9, 2010

Daniel Sturridge went to Chelsea?!?!?!?!?

Space Battle Rothko (Matt DC) wrote this on thread Lost Season 6 - RE: LA X on board I Love Everything on Feb 16, 2010

Sturridge has gone to Chelsea.

quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Hang on, what division are Northwich Victoria in? The FA Cup, 2009/10 on board I Love Everything on Feb 24, 2010

sturridge moved to chelsea too xp

quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Hang on, what division are Northwich Victoria in? The FA Cup, 2009/10 on board I Love Everything on Feb 24, 2010

sturridge gone to chelsea too iirc

Jermaine Jenason (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Great Real Names on board I Love Everything on Mar 26, 2010

before or after sturridge to chelsea?

ailsa wrote this on thread Great Real Names on board I Love Everything on Mar 26, 2010

Has Sturridge gone to Chelsea?

show me your buccina (ken c) wrote this on thread The Human LOLipede: First EXCELSIOR on board I Love Everything on May 19, 2010

wait. daniel sturridge went to chelsea????

May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac) wrote this on thread Thread of random football team formations you just invented on board I Love Everything on May 26, 2010

daniel sturridge just joined chelsea

slow motion hair ruffle (onimo) wrote this on thread WORLD CUP 2010 on board I Love Everything on Jun 21, 2010

& Sturridge has gone to Chelsea

Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac) wrote this on thread WORLD CUP 2010 on board I Love Everything on Jun 21, 2010

goal, and d sturridge to chelsea too

mizzell, Friday, 27 August 2010 17:08 (nine years ago) link

ok well im super drunk right now after playing bass in an awesome metal show and i have a hot chick waiting for me in my bed so ill say this:

(deleted the rest because, basically, no-one actually needs to read it)

ailsa, Friday, 27 August 2010 17:10 (nine years ago) link

how are you dooding becky. im dooding good. i liked your story. heres mine won too. wonce time i was bye the noizy waters. dooding a swim with fred too. and my number2 time had got there too. becos my body is a human body and not jusd the top part is. bottum part is too. when i was at kfc. they tolded me and fred about kfc had the bathroom to goed to. there was the drawings onned the doors. kfc dooded them when he waasnt bulding the mashped potatos i bet. i doodnt no which drawed thing i was. so i told my bowl movement to go to sleep. right their inned my bottum too. and it dooded it too. after kfc time. we went fored the swim. and the bowl movement woke upped like a waking won. then i felt like a sneaking won. becos i had to putted it inned the unright place jusd like a rudd won. i putted my hands over eyes so jeesus couldnt see me going fored a number2. i letted it out and said bye. then i got a feel on the leg parts. thought it was a fish won too. becos they like to dood a swim too wonce times. but it wasnt them wons. it was a bowl movement. i bet it was mine too. becos a fish won would be liteller. i swimmed away from that won. but the wave things sent it after me. then i swimmed away like a smart won. but it goed for me again. then i was neared fred. fred saw the bowl movement and cried too. becos he got scared of the bowl movement dooding a chase. he dood the cry when the mashped potatos go cold too. but i dont becos i give them the eats anyhow they are. ill be better careful next time. ill find out which drawing is fored me. do you know which drawing you are. i bet.

― T✧✧@K✧✧.E✧✧, Tuesday, January 28, 2003 12:14 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ciderpress, Friday, 27 August 2010 17:14 (nine years ago) link

man

goole, Friday, 27 August 2010 17:16 (nine years ago) link

Listen up all you punk motherfuckers, I don't give a fuck about answering your pointless questions, I'm writing you from a computer at a homeless shelter in Naples, Florida to tell you punk was never dead, I was just drunk and passed out in a gutter somewhere and now that I'm back, so's the old school gutterpunk sound and lifestyle. I was living on the streets fucked up by a combination of drugs, alcohol and Sid's ghost possessing me, but now that I'm sober and on a year supervised probation, I'm feeling pretty angry and shitty. So tell all your friends to listen up for my band, the SuicIdols, and to give me a shout out at smashref✧✧✧@ya✧✧✧.c✧✧ and my guitarist Gravedigger, who I met in Jail for doing just that, at dirtyp✧✧✧@ya✧✧✧.c✧✧. Keep the old school scene alive, you dirty bastards! See you on the streets, Smah

― scott gregory (smash), Saturday, February 21, 2004 10:47 PM (6 years ago)

strongohulkingtonsghost, Friday, 27 August 2010 17:23 (nine years ago) link

britney can i get your sister email why because she look intersting

― NAthaniel, Monday, 12 April 2004 13:57 (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a hoy hoy, Friday, 27 August 2010 17:27 (nine years ago) link

But when the music and mood warrant skill and spacial courtesy, I have no patience for the sweaty guys, always guys, that flail and whip their body around jokingly, doing the "lean way back and jiggle arms" move (touching their oily bastard of a head on my theretofore clean and unscented skin and clothing), or the eye-stabbing Travolta-pointing ("I'm so above all this silly, gay disco posturing, who cares! Look at me!"). Nothing fucks up my pussy game more than ironic dancers barging in on my space. Last night my shit was so tight early on that I had two hot-as-balls skeezers nearly elbowing each other to stay in front of me and I thought, "This is going to be a fresh evening". Leave it to a a big ironic-dancing geek who made faces all night to insinuate himself into our once-perfect trio with his exaggerated un-space-conscious grinding, stepping on my brushed suede lo-tops, tripping me up, and not even saying sorry.

― Le Coq, Monday, January 26, 2004 4:07 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark

p.j.b. (pj), Friday, 27 August 2010 17:32 (nine years ago) link

Where is Marcello? Does he still post here?

Duran (Doran), Friday, 27 August 2010 17:46 (nine years ago) link

ME SEEN NUFF OF U FASSYGEEK WITH TA MUCH TIME PLAYIN ON KEYBOARD WIT DEM PIECE OF SHIT LIKE DEM DILDO TING U GET FOR DEM INTANET POONTANG FLEX. U KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT I SEEN DEM VIDEO WIT 2 CHICHI WIT REMOTE CONTROL DILDA FLEXIN EACH OTHER OVER NET.
LISTEN ME BREDRIN IM BEEN LONG TIME ON STRATFORD REX, MY BREDRIN RUDEBOY WESLEY TELL ME BOUT DEM CHICHI BOY LIKE YOU. TRY STEP TO ME ILL DICE U UP FASS.

DONT TEST EAST LONDON NIGGAZ TRUS YOU FASSYMAN DONT NAH NUTTIN U THINK BRIXTON HOME OF YARDA. ONLY YARDA BWOY DOWN THAT SLUM BE DEM HEROIN FASS DAT SO SKINNY FROM ALL DAT CHICHI SEX DAY HAVE.

SEN?

― HUNTA-D, Sunday, May 5, 2002 8:00 PM (8 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

deglovers rock (crüt), Friday, 27 August 2010 17:47 (nine years ago) link

TS: Denny Lethargy VS. Denny Vertigo

Nano McPhee (admrl), Thursday, 16 September 2010 06:47 (nine years ago) link

is there any song of his that doesn't have a guitar solo going the entire time, all the way through it?

― milton parker (Jon L), Wednesday, August 24, 2005 11:26 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

Nano McPhee (admrl), Thursday, 16 September 2010 06:49 (nine years ago) link

i don't play pool with jews
― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, April 15, 2005 5:57 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark

Nano McPhee (admrl), Thursday, 16 September 2010 07:29 (nine years ago) link

omfg at the blended haircut thing

omfg

sexy mfa (history mayne), Thursday, 16 September 2010 07:40 (nine years ago) link

lol welcome to gabbingtown dogg

p.m.s.b. (pre-mall smoke bomb) (zorn_bond.mp3), Thursday, 16 September 2010 09:34 (nine years ago) link

why was he banned in the end? sb?

caek, Thursday, 16 September 2010 09:36 (nine years ago) link

yup

call all destroyer, Thursday, 16 September 2010 11:16 (nine years ago) link

Lol @ "the first two coasts."

jaymc, Thursday, 16 September 2010 13:44 (nine years ago) link

dudes with gay porn names talkin about lil wayne being "svelte" on a fucking mixtape track are schooling me on the genius of bun b.

― dylannn, Wednesday, August 1, 2007 6:41 AM (3 years ago)

france bans luriqua (k3vin k.), Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:09 (nine years ago) link

XD

flaccid house (The Reverend), Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:10 (nine years ago) link

still lol at a guy named "dyl4n k1ng" accusing someone of having a gay porn name

flaccid house (The Reverend), Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:11 (nine years ago) link

also i'm pretty sure he posted on ilx about the first time he sucked a dude off

J0rdan S., Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:11 (nine years ago) link

i would have to ask ethan where that post is tho i don't remember

J0rdan S., Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:11 (nine years ago) link

can't believe keller of all ppl is posting that quote -_-

J0rdan S., Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:12 (nine years ago) link

it was his first time with a hooker, get it right

flaccid house (The Reverend), Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:14 (nine years ago) link

nah i'm talking about another post

J0rdan S., Sunday, 19 September 2010 06:20 (nine years ago) link

Q: who invented nerd rap?
A: Nerds!!!!!! (Who rap!!!!!)

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Monday, December 27, 2004 9:55 AM

am0n, Monday, 20 September 2010 06:08 (nine years ago) link

dylannn!!!!

p.m.s.b. (pre-mall smoke bomb) (zorn_bond.mp3), Monday, 20 September 2010 06:47 (nine years ago) link

Hell yeah! SO many stupid bitches out there. TYou really got to get a handle on some shit, man!
Yuo gotta be looking out for yourself. You don't want so,me stupid bitch getting one or two over on you, motherfucker.
I ain't met a bitch yet5 who didn't turn out to be some stupid ass opain in the ass fuckhat!

-- black anus (phookyeahbyotc...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Fuck yeah, bitch!

-- black anus (kojk...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Motherucker!

-- black anus (juj...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Shitfaced in Brooklyn!

-- black anus (lala...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Can I buy you a fucking beer?

-- black anus (hol...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

This ain't Miami, bitch!

-- black anus (marbl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Ain't this some fucking bullshit or what?

-- black anus (klakl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

-- black anus (nmnm...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Oh my motherfucking GOD!

-- black anus (l;klkl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

La la pa fucking looza!

-- black anus (lklakl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Come on my face, why don't you?

-- black anus (klakl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Can't really help it, motherfucker, if the bitches be stpid as hell and can't fuck worth a goddam motherfucking nickel.

-- black anus (shoeitupyouras...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Motherfuckah! Cain't get no fucking releef from these stupid bitches no way!

-- black anus (shitcak...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

These is some stupid bitches.

-- black anus (lala...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

This ain't no fucking MALL RATS, bitch.

-- black anus (klka...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

God fucking damn!

-- black anus (klkl...) (webmail), November 16th, 2004.

Fuck off, twat!

-- black anus (klkalkl...), November 16th, 2004.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

-- black anus (jklaklkl...), November 16th, 2004.

Dirty fucking bastard!

-- black anus (klka...), November 16th, 2004.

4 my muthafuckin mods (crüt), Monday, 20 September 2010 06:53 (nine years ago) link

Alrite. Rap sucks. "duh rap has so much meaning like we so tite we can make up namez such as FASHEEZY cuz we be bored aight son? ye ye time to do shrooms so bounce" and rock "AHHHHH!!!!!KILL ME KILL YOU FUCK YOU!" What I find better is RAP ROCK. YEA THATS THE SHIT. LISTEN TO KID ROCK SND YOU'LL LOVE THE COMBINATION. BOTH RAP AND ROCK SUCK ALONE. RAP ROCK RULES.

L8ER.

― TOE-KNEE IM A PLAYER THAT YOU LOVE TO HATE,GOT UR GIRL SUCKIN DICK ON VIDEOTAPE, Wednesday, July 24, 2002 12:00 AM (8 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

clotpoll, Monday, 20 September 2010 07:01 (nine years ago) link

wonder what rap would be like if more rappers did shrooms

J0rdan S., Monday, 20 September 2010 07:06 (nine years ago) link

what person said the first van halen was a bad album? i want to come to your house and kick your teeth in while blasting "on fire" super loud. call me..

― cornelius crash (cornelius crash), Tuesday, April 12, 2005 5:24 PM

am0n, Monday, 20 September 2010 07:07 (nine years ago) link

Just seen this but if this thread continues to descend into meta snark (rather than, y'know, quotable posts that are actually interesting or funny) then it's going to be locked.

Matt DC, Monday, 20 September 2010 09:04 (nine years ago) link

(That Old Fart!!! post is classic btw).

Matt DC, Monday, 20 September 2010 09:04 (nine years ago) link

"Total bullshit (but it's abbey, so who expects anything else?). The Sound Museum albums and Colors: Live in Leipzig (duets with pianist Joachim Kühn) are terrific, Sound Grammar kicks ass, and while I don't love Prime Time the way I do his acoustic stuff, Virgin Beauty and In All Languages are both great."

we get it, Phil, you've swallowed the incomprehensible Kool-Aid, your loving hummer in the Wire showed us that (god knows why they still let you write there).

I continue to call bullshit on his last 40 or so years of recorded output, I don't especially care if anyone agrees with me. I also call bullshit on pretty much everything he's ever said in any interview ever, I think he made some incredible, essential music in the early sixties and has basically been a fraud ever since.

― jon abbey, Sunday, June 28, 2009 3:39 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ re: ornette coleman

4 my muthafuckin mods (crüt), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 10:34 (nine years ago) link

i wonder if he ever did familiarize himself with crabcore ?

sarahel, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 11:00 (nine years ago) link

Q: who invented nerd rap?
A: Nerds!!!!!! (Who rap!!!!!)

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Monday, December 27, 2004 9:55 AM

― am0n, Monday, September 20, 2010 1:08 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this needed a repost for emphasis

if you can put a ceiling fan in your van (deej), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 12:06 (nine years ago) link

Not a fan of Biggie at all, although I didn't hate him...he was just kinda "eh" to me, and was brought down bigtime by the people he constantly hung out with (Puff Daddy, ick).
Nas, I know very little about. Of course I hated that stupid "If I Ruled the World", song, but who didn't...

Friends of mine heavily into rap suggest "Illmatic", but I haven't heard it.

― uh, Sunday, April 25, 2004 6:23 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

a very SMH post from my very embarassing past. the funny thing is at the time I wrote this about Biggie, I'd heard only three of his singles, and nothing much else, so I was clearly BSing.

turn in yer badge (San Te), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 13:08 (nine years ago) link

Friends of mine heavily into rap suggest "Illmatic", but I haven't heard it.

ciderpress, Tuesday, 21 September 2010 13:10 (nine years ago) link

i bought it like the next day iirc.

turn in yer badge (San Te), Tuesday, 21 September 2010 13:16 (nine years ago) link

god i hate autumn. it's the "i don't watch television" of seasons.

― well pull down my pants and call me swamp thing (latebloomer), Wednesday, October 14, 2009 12:30 PM (11 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

jaymc, Saturday, 25 September 2010 16:17 (nine years ago) link

haha

If Airplanes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport (s1ocki), Saturday, 25 September 2010 18:12 (nine years ago) link

three months pass...

Yes, Buck I have noticed that too. The clothing stores are selling tackier and tackier jewelry, and tacky things that they never sold before.
Thing are really swinging low.

The music is very poor and annoying when I shop these days.
Once in a while I enjoy it.
People are in denial.
The clothing looks frumpy even in the most exclusive stores.
I went to a food store and they sell this snack food called "Girlfriend's Booty."
This means buttock.
Pimp juice is in the stores. People are looking disheveled.

spelling>?
When people say I am not great, are they comparing me to people who have four people in a band?
It is very difficult to have no help. I try to connect with people, i like men, but they become competitive and they are no romantic..just competitive. What a disappointment.

― Marissa MM, Monday, August 8, 2005 8:26 PM (5 years ago)

mitsubishi goofus (unregistered), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 01:51 (eight years ago) link

great find

Past Fellini Kroger but before Senor Taco (crüt), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 01:53 (eight years ago) link

i feel liek thats the final step on the ilx journey: earnest music poster > stando ile person > sub bord mainstay > indecipherable one liners > sock master

― ice cr?m, Thursday, February 26, 2009 9:21 PM (1 year ago)

plax (ico), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:01 (eight years ago) link

xpp
I'm a romantic Marissa

486.52 (CaptainLorax), Tuesday, 28 December 2010 02:18 (eight years ago) link

i don't have anything against it, myself. but the poignant beauty of ordinary humanity - the bathetic infatuation with clumsy frailty and endearing failure, as communicated by amateurish blankness and infantile affectation - has been exploited to death for decades by indie and post-indie and would-be-indie everything. in movies like juno and thumbsucker, on indie prints and greeting cards featuring awkward line drawings of birds (currently on sale in a bunch tiny shops on 5h in park slope), in back issues of mcsweeney's, in album after pitchfork-approved album of wounded & comforting soft sweater teatime glockenspiel music listened to, most likely, by someone you know and love. it's by no means an ineffective artistic stance: it works, communicates, gets a feeling across. but it's also so far beyond played that it's become a sickening zombie sham, a horrible cloud of kitsch that sucks the life out of everything it touches.

this hyundai ad is just the they live moment - the point at which the whole world gets to try on the glasses and see what's really been going down.

― carles marx (contenderizer), Wednesday, January 5, 2011 1:37 AM Bookmark

pomp la familia (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 January 2011 18:20 (eight years ago) link

three months pass...

And why would anyone could think "super soak that ho" could have any other meaning than a playful water gun fight? I used to super soak hos all the time, and it was definitely platonic.

-- dabug, Monday, 21 January 2008

c'est cheese and die (absolutely clean glasses), Wednesday, 27 April 2011 02:40 (eight years ago) link

gotta be a sock

mh, Wednesday, 27 April 2011 03:33 (eight years ago) link

i thought as much when he reviewed the arcade fire

geeks, dweebs, nerds & lames (D-40), Wednesday, 27 April 2011 04:10 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

It's crap. More meaningless pabulum. Raise your standards.
― alex in nyc, Friday, September 7, 2001 1:00 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark

if i could fly this place would be a mid-90s r kelly jam (history mayne), Saturday, 4 June 2011 16:12 (eight years ago) link

nine months pass...

Yup. If you spend long getting friendly before you bring "I want to be on you" into it, then you're kind of betraying whatever friendship you've established beforehand. She's gonna think you were sweaty-palming it all along (which you were), and it might make things difficult for a while.

And you know this, that's why you (probably) never reveal the sexual tension you've built into yr. "friendships", thus sparing yrself the ugliness. And possible blowjobs.

Moral: you have to be creepy. You have to make your fuck-want clear from the beginning, even if you choose to go smooth and disguise it as "romantic interest". I understand that the romantic interest route is very popular.

I didn't get fucked, didn't get kissed until I was in my 20s. Drove me fucking crazy. I obsessed about it and about my own sexual loserdom to the point of incapacitating mental illness and listening to Swans records. Then I got drunk, hooked up with a lovely and similarly enabled girl, and ... well, let's discreetly draw the blinds on the indiscretions of the past.

Disagree that getting laid is not a curative, though. It is a curative. I never worried about it after that, and never had trouble making my intentions clear to girls I liked.

― Adam Beales (Pye Poudre), Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:38 AM (5 years ago)

⚓ (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 March 2012 20:03 (seven years ago) link

now time DR DRE is made England boss. SLY SVEN has sent him hate mail saying "dre fell off". Dre has just been in THE LAB, with a PEN AND A PAD, trying to get his DAMN LABEL OFF.
When will BARWANK step down and allow proper Englishman PAUL WELLER to lead the FA away from EUROPHILE SCUM, REAMS OF RED TAPE.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, May 9, 2006 3:19 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

max, Tuesday, 6 March 2012 20:15 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

so, for a million posts...

pet tommy & the barkhaters (darraghmac), Wednesday, 9 May 2012 13:32 (seven years ago) link

seven years pass...

lol @ u arguing with a pizza hut product

― am0n, Friday, August 24, 2007 12:42 PM bookmarkflaglink

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 16:42 (three weeks ago) link

Predicting the brands-on-social-media future right there.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 16:58 (three weeks ago) link

These posts are not all that funny, sorry.

Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:34 (three weeks ago) link

Pvmic

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:19 (three weeks ago) link

"Your face will be a mashup" is probably my favourite thing that anyone has posted ever.

Tim F, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 21:55 (three weeks ago) link

two weeks pass...

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