100 Funny Bob Dylan Moments

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1. "I looked at my waaaatch, I looked at my wriiiist/I punched myself in the faaaace with my fiiist."

2. "I'm gonna save all my money and rip it up."

3. "She says, 'You can't repeat the past'/I say, 'You can't? What do you mean, you can't? Of course you can.'"

(YMMV, obv.)

Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

4. The way he sings on "Lay Lady Lay"

I make poll (james k polk), Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

that took less time than I expected, good job everyone

Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

5. "Whoever it is, I wish they'd cut it out quick/But when they will I can only guuessss."

no pomo (G00blar), Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

6. PLAYBOY: Mistake or not, what made you decide to go the rock-'n'-roll route?

DYLAN: Carelessness. I lost my one true love. I started drinking. The first thing I know, I'm in a card game. Then I'm in a crap game. I wake up in a pool hall. Then this big Mexican lady drags me off the table, takes me to Philadelphia. She leaves me alone in her house, and it burns down. I wind up in Phoenix. I get a job as a Chinaman. I start working in a dime store, and move in with a 13-year-old girl. Then this big Mexican lady from Philadelphia comes in and burns the house down. I go down to Dallas. I get a job as a "before" in a Charles Atlas "before and after" ad. I move in with a delivery boy who can cook fantastic chili and hot dogs. Then this 13-year-old girl from Phoenix comes and burns the house down. The delivery boy - he ain't so mild: He gives her the knife, and the next thing I know I'm in Omaha. It's so cold there, by this time I'm robbing my own bicycles and frying my own fish. I stumble onto some luck and get a job as a carburetor out at the hot-rod races every Thursday night. I move in with a high school teacher who also does a little plumbing on the side, who ain't much to look at, but who's built a special kind of refrigerator that can turn newspaper into lettuce. Everything's going good until that delivery boy shows up and tries to knife me. Needless to say, he burned the house down, and I hit the road. The first guy that picked me up asked me if I wanted to be a star. What could I say?

PLAYBOY: And that's how you became a rock-'n'-roll singer?

DYLAN: No, that's how I got tuberculosis.

Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

goddammit I still haven't come up with a better screen name? *sigh* xp

no pomo (G00blar), Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

7. "They asked me for some collateral and I pulled down my pants."

Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

When he auditioned to play with Bobby Vee as an organist (despite lack of any sort of mastery of the instrument), Vee asked the scrawny Minnesotan what his name was. "Elston Gunn," replied the then-Bobby Zimmerman. Laughing at the absurdity of it, Vee asked him, "Is that "Gun" with one "n" or "Gunn" with two "ns?"

"Three," replied Elston.

deedeedeextrovert, Sunday, 26 April 2009 06:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

9. It ain't that I'm wantin'
Anything you never gave before.
It's just that I'll be sleepin' soon,
It'll be too dark for you to find the door.

NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 26 April 2009 08:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

10.

velko, Sunday, 26 April 2009 08:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

11. "Pack up your money, pull up your tent, McGuinn, you ain't going nowhere,"

velko, Sunday, 26 April 2009 08:51 (nine years ago) Permalink

12. [mumble mumble mumble] ". . . If only you just wouldn't clap so hard."

Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 08:52 (nine years ago) Permalink

13. angle dupin looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo -- austin city limits festival 2007

one thousand BIG HOOS raging and pounding (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 26 April 2009 08:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

100,000 strawberries (a hoy hoy), Sunday, 26 April 2009 09:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

15. The part in the Halloween 1964 Philharmonic Hall concert where he has a member of the audience prompt the first words of I Don't Believe You for him

Duke, Sunday, 26 April 2009 09:58 (nine years ago) Permalink

16. I said "They refused Jesus too."
"you're not him!"

Dr X O'Skeleton, Sunday, 26 April 2009 10:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

17. The cover of Empire Burlesque

Duke, Sunday, 26 April 2009 10:48 (nine years ago) Permalink

18. Well, my telephone rang it would not stop,
It's President Kennedy callin' me up.
He said, "My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?"
I said, "My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot,
Anita Ekberg,
Sophia Loren."
(Put 'em all in the same room with Ernest Borgnine!)

\m/ anger on stick \m/ (Ioannis), Sunday, 26 April 2009 11:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

please come crawl out your window
use your hands and kegs it won't ruin you
how can you say he will haunt you
when you can go back to him any time that you want to

nashville - spiritual home of the cougar (will), Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

legs

nashville - spiritual home of the cougar (will), Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

20. "I'm sittin' on my watch so I can be on time."

I'm crossing over into enterprise (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:21 (nine years ago) Permalink

21. "Well, I saw him makin' love to you, you forgot to close the garage door"

such a lewd song but this line is so overt that I bust out laughing everytime

Euler, Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

22.

Well, she's got jet pilot eyes from her hips on down
All the bombardiers are trying to force her out of town
She's five feet nine and she carries a monkey wrench
She weighs more by the foot than she does by the inch

She got all the downtown boys, all at her command
But you've got to watch her closely, 'cause
she ain't no woman, she's a man.

WmC, Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

23. What he's wearing for the Empire Burlesque sleeve

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/I/615ptwSwJpL._SL500_AA240_.jpg

I'm crossing over into enterprise (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

24. "I like Fidel Castro and his beard!"

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 26 April 2009 15:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

25. I'm in Boston town in some restaurant
I got no idea what I want
or maybe I do but I'm just really not sure
Waitress comes over, nobody in the place but me and her

Well it must be a holiday, there's nobody around
She studies me closely as I sit down
She got a pretty face and long white shiny legs
I said "Tell me what I want"
She say "You probably want hard boiled eggs"

I said "That's right, bring me some"
She says "We ain't got any, you picked the wrong time to come"
then she says "I know you're an artist, draw a picture of me"
I said "I would if I could but
I don't do sketches from memory"

Well she's?? near she says "I'm right here in front of you or haven't you looked"
I say "All right I know but I don't have my drawin' book"
She gives me a napkin, she say "You can do it on that"
I say "Yes I could but I don't know where my pencil is at"

She pulls one out from behind her ear
She says "Alright now go ahead draw me I'm stayin' right here"
I make a few lines and I show it for her to see
Well she takes the napkin and throws it back and says
"That don't look a thing like me"

I said "Oh kind miss, it most certainly does"
She say "You must be joking", I said "I wish I was"
She says "You don't read women authors do ya?"
at least that's what I think I hear her say
Well I say "How would you know, and what would it matter anyway"

Well she says "Ya just don't seem like ya do", I said "You're way wrong"
She says "Which ones have you read then?", I say "Read Erica Jong"
She goes away for a minute, and I slide out, out of my chair
I step outside back to the busy street, but nobody's goin' anywhere

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 15:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

26.

You know it balances on your head
Just like a mattress balances
On a bottle of wine
Your brand new leopard-skin pill-box hat

Such an arresting image.

Mark, Sunday, 26 April 2009 15:14 (nine years ago) Permalink

27. Oh God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
Abe says, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 15:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

28. Per Roger Ebert on "Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid" in 1973: "Bob Dylan plays a character named Alias, and should have used one. His screen presence makes him look as if he's the victim of a practical jokes involving itching powder."

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 15:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

29. You promise to love me, but what do I see? Just you comin' in and spilling juice over me.

30. Hell's my wife's home town.

kornrulez6969, Sunday, 26 April 2009 15:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

Well, I run right down ’n’ bought a ticket
To this bear mountain picnic.
But little did I realize
I was in for a picnic surprise.
Had nothin’ to do with mountains.
I didn’t even come close to a bear.

100,000 strawberries (a hoy hoy), Sunday, 26 April 2009 16:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

31^

100,000 strawberries (a hoy hoy), Sunday, 26 April 2009 16:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

I wrote this a couple years back for the AV Club:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IgB0JLKO15Q/RqDvomie9UI/AAAAAAAACBo/EjOWWXUB9fg/s1600-h/den+feat+2+4329.jpg

tylerw, Sunday, 26 April 2009 16:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

Just noticed what I quickly c&p got the punchline wrong.

100,000 strawberries (a hoy hoy), Sunday, 26 April 2009 16:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

32. I took my potatoes down to be mashed

ian, Sunday, 26 April 2009 17:13 (nine years ago) Permalink

33. I was shadow-boxing earlier in the day
I figured I was ready for Cassius Clay
I said "Fee, fie, fo, fum, Cassius Clay, here I come
26, 27, 28, 29, I'm gonna make your face look just like mine
Five, four, three, two, one, Cassius Clay you'd better run
99, 100, 101, 102, your ma won't even recognize you
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, gonna knock him clean right out of his spleen."

The Pompatus Of Love (Boxing Kangaroo), Sunday, 26 April 2009 17:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

34. Now, I'm liberal, but to a degree
I want ev'rybody to be free
But if you think that I'll let Barry Goldwater
Move in next door and marry my daughter
You must think I'm crazy!
I wouldn't let him do it for all the farms in Cuba.

The Pompatus Of Love (Boxing Kangaroo), Sunday, 26 April 2009 17:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

35. Well, I set my monkey on the log
And ordered him to do the Dog
He wagged his tail and shook his head
And he went and did the Cat instead
He's a weird monkey, very funky.

I sat with my high-heeled sneakers on
Waiting to play tennis in the noonday sun
I had my white shorts rolled up past my waist
And my wig-hat was falling in my face
But they wouldn't let me on the tennis court.

The Pompatus Of Love (Boxing Kangaroo), Sunday, 26 April 2009 17:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

God said "No"
Abe say "What??"

one thousand BIG HOOS raging and pounding (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 26 April 2009 18:57 (nine years ago) Permalink

matos's PLAYBOY quote sounds very funny read in a Terry Tibbs voice.

piscesx, Sunday, 26 April 2009 19:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

thirdalternative, Sunday, 26 April 2009 19:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

creepy orange skin and black eyeliner:

thirdalternative, Sunday, 26 April 2009 19:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

number them plz!

Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:00 (nine years ago) Permalink

39. "Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the poet laureate of rock 'n' roll. The voice of the promise of the '60s counterculture. The guy who forced folk into bed with rock. Who donned makeup in the '70s and disappeared into a haze of substance abuse. Who emerged to find Jesus. Who was written off as a has-been by the end of the '80s, and who suddenly shifted gears releasing some of the strongest music of his career beginning in the late '90s. Ladies and gentlemen - Columbia recording artist Bob Dylan!"

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:02 (nine years ago) Permalink

40.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

41.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

42.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

43. He love your sexy body, he loves your dirty mind
He loves when you hold him when you grab him from behind
Oh baby, you're such a pretty thing
I can't wait to introduce you to the other members of my gang

You don't need no wax job, you're smooth enough for me
If you need you oil changed I'll do it for you free
Oh baby, the pleasure would be all mine
If you let me drive your pickup truck and park it where the sun don't shine

Every time he touches you his hair stands up on end
His legs begin to quiver and his mind begins to bend
Oh baby, you're such a tasty treat
But I'm under doctor's orders, I'm afraid to overeat

He love your sense of humor, your disposition too
There's absolutely nothing that he don't love about you
Oh baby, I'm on my hands and knees
Life would be so simple if I only had you to please

Oh baby, turn around and say goodbye
You go to the airport now and I'm going home to cry

(Chorus)
He loves your...
Electric dumplings
Red bell peppers
Fuel injection
Service charge
Five-speed gearbox
Long indurance
Quest for junk food
Big refrigerator
Trembling wilbury
Marble earrings
Porky curtains
Power steering
Bottled water
Parts and services

(Bridge)
Dirty world, a dirty world, it's a ...ing dirty world

The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

oh man, I forgot "Dirty World," well played

Matos W.K., Sunday, 26 April 2009 20:16 (nine years ago) Permalink

86.Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a gypsy queen,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle all dressed in green,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle 'til the moon is blue,
Wiggle 'til the moon sees you.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle in your boots and shoes,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, you got nothing to lose,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, like a swarm of bees,
Wiggle on your hands and knees.

Wiggle to the front, wiggle to the rear,
Wiggle 'til you wiggle right out of here,
Wiggle 'til it opens, wiggle 'til it shuts,
Wiggle 'til it bites, wiggle 'til it cuts.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead,
Wiggle - you can raise the dead.

Wiggle 'til you're high, wiggle 'til you're higher,
Wiggle 'til you vomit fire,
Wiggle 'til it whispers, wiggle 'til it hums,
Wiggle 'til it answers, wiggle 'til it comes.

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like satin and silk,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a pail of milk,
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, rattle and shake,
Wiggle like a big fat snake.

cwkiii, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 04:50 (nine years ago) Permalink

87.
They say I shot a man named Gray and took his wife to Italy,
She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me.
I can't help it if I'm lucky.

would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 06:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

one thing about a lot of these lines i think is they're the unreliable-narrator side of dylan. which imo has always been the better dylan. when he's head-on, either in early protest mode or later christian mode or still-later moody-moony mode, he's often either too much or too little (or both at the same time). he's at his best coming at things from the side, where it's not always clear where the ricochet is going until it's gone. he's a great bank-shot lyricist.

would you ask tom petty that? (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 06:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

88. "There didn’t seem to be any general consensus among my listeners. Some people preferred my first period songs. Some, the second. Some, the Christian period. Some, the post Colombian. Some, the Pre-Raphaelite. Some people prefer my songs from the nineties. I see that my audience now doesn’t particular care what period the songs are from. They feel style and substance in a more visceral way and let it go at that. Images don’t hang anybody up. Like if there’s an astrologer with a criminal record in one of my songs it’s not going to make anybody wonder if the human race is doomed."

Douglas, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

Dylan otm.

tits akimbo (kenan), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

89. "We got an e-mail here from Johnny Depp from Paris, France, who wants to know: 'Who was the father of modern communism?' Well, Johnny, Karl Marx was the father of modern communism. He also fathered seven children, four of whom survived to adulthood. His only son, Frederick Demuth, was illegitimate. I wonder if he calls his daddy on Father's Day."

Douglas, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

omg

tits akimbo (kenan), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:26 (nine years ago) Permalink

Source plz

tits akimbo (kenan), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:27 (nine years ago) Permalink

(That one was from an episode of Theme Time Radio Hour.)

90. "He saw an animal as smooth as glass
Slithering his way through the grass
Saw him disappear by a tree near a lake..." [End of song.]

Douglas, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

(Also I love the theory that the snake is the one who subsequently shows up at the end of "Wiggle Wiggle," ten years later.)

Douglas, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

I seriously don't know how much he's kidding about "pre-Raphaelite" Dylan.

tits akimbo (kenan), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

91.
He went to get the hangin' judge but the hangin' judge was drunk
As the leading actor hurried by the costume of a monk

91.
I went to the wedding of Mary-Lou
She said "I don't want nobody see me talkin' to you"
Said she could get killed if she told me what she knew
About dignity

...[some unfunny verses]...

Met Prince Phillip at the home of the blues
Said he'd give me information if his name wasn't used
He wanted money up front, said he was abused
By dignity

Eazy, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

(er, 91. and 92.)

Eazy, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

(Too late to be typing.
"As the leading actor hurried by in the costume of a monk")

Eazy, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

Met Prince Phillip at the home of the blues HOUSE OF BLUES

Then had burgers at the Hard Rock Cafe nearby.

tits akimbo (kenan), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 07:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

So House of blues does bad burgers?

Mark G, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 08:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

93. the "World's Greatest Grandpa" bumper sticker he purchases in Chronicles Volume One

Matos W.K., Wednesday, 29 April 2009 10:00 (nine years ago) Permalink

(less ha-ha funny than endearing-funny, if that makes sense)

Matos W.K., Wednesday, 29 April 2009 10:01 (nine years ago) Permalink

94. Handy dandy, if every bone in his body was broken he would never admit it
He got an all girl orchestra and when he says strike up the band, they hit it

tylerw, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 14:45 (nine years ago) Permalink

95. Cover art.
http://www.newlog.com.ar/LPAL/BOB-DYLAN-Knocked-Out.jpg

Eazy, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 19:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

96.
PLAYBOY: Mistake or not, what made you decide to go the rock-'n'-roll route?

DYLAN: Carelessness. I lost my one true love. I started drinking. The first thing I know, I'm in a card game. Then I'm in a crap game. I wake up in a pool hall. Then this big Mexican lady drags me off the table, takes me to Philadelphia. She leaves me alone in her house, and it burns down. I wind up in Phoenix. I get a job as a Chinaman. I start working in a dime store, and move in with a 13-year-old girl. Then this big Mexican lady from Philadelphia comes in and burns the house down. I go down to Dallas. I get a job as a "before" in a Charles Atlas "before and after" ad. I move in with a delivery boy who can cook fantastic chili and hot dogs. Then this 13-year-old girl from Phoenix comes and burns the house down. The delivery boy - he ain't so mild: He gives her the knife, and the next thing I know I'm in Omaha. It's so cold there, by this time I'm robbing my own bicycles and frying my own fish. I stumble onto some luck and get a job as a carburetor out at the hot-rod races every Thursday night. I move in with a high school teacher who also does a little plumbing on the side, who ain't much to look at, but who's built a special kind of refrigerator that can turn newspaper into lettuce. Everything's going good until that delivery boy shows up and tries to knife me. Needless to say, he burned the house down, and I hit the road. The first guy that picked me up asked me if I wanted to be a star. What could I say?

PLAYBOY: And that's how you became a rock-'n'-roll singer?

DYLAN: No, that's how I got tuberculosis.

tylerw, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 19:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

Good one, though #96 = #6.

Eazy, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 19:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

haha, my bad ... here's another good one from the same interview

DYLAN: The thing that most people don't realize is that it's warmer to have long hair. Everybody wants to be warm. People with short hair freeze easily. Then they try to hide their coldness, and they get jealous of everybody that's warm. Then they become either barbers or Congressmen. A lot of prison wardens have short hair. Have you ever noticed that Abraham Lincoln's hair was much longer than John Wilkes Booth's?

PLAYBOY: Do you think Lincoln wore his hair long to keep his head warm?

DYLAN: Actually, I think it was for medical reasons, which are none of my business.

tylerw, Wednesday, 29 April 2009 19:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

97. "See the primitive wallflower freeze
When the jelly-faced women all sneeze
Hear the one with the mustache say, "Jeeze
I can't find my knees""

The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 29 April 2009 20:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

come on ppl, just three more

Matos W.K., Thursday, 30 April 2009 20:47 (nine years ago) Permalink

j/k

just being playful and friendly (some dude), Thursday, 30 April 2009 20:49 (nine years ago) Permalink

98. Weberman interview http://www.interferenza.com/bcs/interw/weberman.htm
DYLAN: (breath) **Le** those two sentences, man. I don't get them at all. I don't understand them, even --

WEBERMAN: -- why, if you do, I might gain a soul --

DYLAN: Yeah, well, that's shit -- those last two sentences. I don't think I said that.

WEBERMAN: Yes, you did. That's just what you said, man. You said, You re not gonna get into my life -- I said, 'Why?' -- * then you said, 'If you do, I might gain a soul.'

DYLAN: I don't understand that, do you?

WEBERMAN: (pause) Uhh -- I don't know -- I don't know -- it could be looked at in a number of ways, man -- you could *** --

DYLAN: Yeah, why don't you -- d'why don t you take it out of your article and look at it in a number of ways -- and let s d'uh -- you know, and -- and roll it around awhile -- and then when you -- when we know what it means -- why don't you tell me, and then -- ah, let's see if it's worth putting in an article --

WEBERMAN: (pause) Uh** --

tylerw, Thursday, 30 April 2009 21:02 (nine years ago) Permalink

99.

Moreno, Thursday, 30 April 2009 21:17 (nine years ago) Permalink

100. Three decades later, A.J., now fifty-five, his once-wild
mane receded to silver fringe (but still talking very fast),
recalls the incident, one of the more colorful in the often
drearily hagiographic Dylanological chronicles: "I'd agreed
not to hassle Dylan anymore, but I was a publicity-hungry
motherfucker. . . . I went to MacDougal Street, and Dylan's
wife comes out and starts screaming about me going through
the garbage. Dylan said if I ever fucked with his wife, he'd
beat the shit out of me. A couple of days later, I'm on
Elizabeth Street and someone jumps me, starts punching me.

"I turn around and it's like -- Dylan. I'm thinking, 'Can
you believe this? I'm getting the crap beat out of me by Bob
Dylan!' I said, 'Hey, man, how you doin'?' But he keeps
knocking my head against the sidewalk. He's little, but he's
strong. He works out. I wouldn't fight back, you know,
because I knew I was wrong. He gets up, rips off my 'Free
Bob Dylan' button and walks away. Never says a word.

"The Bowery bums were coming over, asking, 'How much he
get?' Like I got rolled. . . . I guess you got to hand it to
Dylan, coming over himself, not sending some fucking lawyer.
That was the last time I ever saw him, except once with one
of his kids, maybe Jakob, and he said, 'A.J. is so ashamed
of his Jewishness, he got a nose job,' which was true -- at
least in the fact that I got a nose job. . . ."

Mr. Que, Thursday, 30 April 2009 21:20 (nine years ago) Permalink

"The sun's not yellow/it's chicken"

deusner, Thursday, 30 April 2009 22:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

^^^^^Apparently he also visited Neil Young's boyhood home when he was in Canada recently.

Moreno, Wednesday, 13 May 2009 14:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

Peter Grant: Mr. Dylan, my name is Peter Grant. I'm Led Zeppelin's manager.
Dylan: I don't come to you with MY problems, do I?

- at a party or backstage or somewhere, mid-'70s

I wish he hadn't adapted my critique of his "ilxor" moniker (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 16:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

103. "Mona tried to tell me
To stay away from the train line.
She said that all the railroad men
Just drink up your blood like wine.
An' I said, "Oh, I didn't know that,
But then again, there's only one I've met
An' he just smoked my eyelids
An' punched my cigarette."'

The Wild Shirtless Lyrics of Mark Farner (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 19:41 (nine years ago) Permalink

four years pass...

http://www.expectingrain.com/jokes.html

posi riot (some dude), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 12:45 (four years ago) Permalink

I think about the Elston Gunnn anecdote once a week

, Wednesday, 16 April 2014 13:14 (four years ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RPkJeziNyI&feature=kp

'i sucked the milk out of a thousand cows'

(onscreen, dylan, cow)

j., Wednesday, 16 April 2014 14:12 (four years ago) Permalink

Roseanne (Barr) is onstage at the end of Frank Sinatra 80th birthday TV special, and Dylan comes up to her and says "I really liked the way you sang the National Anthem."

images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 14:46 (four years ago) Permalink

three years pass...

bob dylan crisps

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DUdAL0_X0AA3GeK.jpg

mark s, Friday, 26 January 2018 15:57 (eight months ago) Permalink

"Professor Longhair—I got nothin’ to say about him. We told you about him before, and you know how to look him up in Wikipedia. That’s where he lives – Wikipedia, Louisiana."

Pumpkin Soup and Mandy Patinkin (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 2 February 2018 04:20 (eight months ago) Permalink

"The Three Wise Men–Caspar, Balthazar, and Melchior...three names you don’t hear much any more…well, except for Balthazar."

Pumpkin Soup and Mandy Patinkin (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 2 February 2018 04:23 (eight months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

"Gerry Goffin and Carole King wrote no shortage of good songs. Here's one you might not know. It's performed by that archetypical New York group that kept Atlantic records afloat for many a year, a group that had a number of famous lead singers, and easily made the transition from 50's R&B to 60's soul...of course, I'm talking about Yes. Naw, I'm talking about the Drifters!"

DACA Flocka Flame (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 5 April 2018 11:43 (six months ago) Permalink

For The New Basement Tapes, T Bone Burnett put together a group with Elvis Costello, Rhiannon Giddens, Jim James, Marcus Mumford and Taylor Goldsmith, to finish songs based on old lyrics of yours. Did you hear any of those songs and say, “I don’t remember writing that?”

Did you say Taylor Swift?

Taylor Goldsmith.

Yeah, OK. No, I don’t remember writing any of those songs.

absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Thursday, 5 April 2018 13:01 (six months ago) Permalink

“How about Ratt?”

https://youtu.be/cntGcbU3nM8

absorbed carol channing's powers & psyche (morrisp), Thursday, 5 April 2018 13:34 (six months ago) Permalink

"Fan of Bobby's for a long time...."

"All wrestlers are."

DACA Flocka Flame (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 5 April 2018 13:47 (six months ago) Permalink

"My wife and I were happy for thirty years. And then we met."

mahb, Thursday, 5 April 2018 14:11 (six months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

I wrote this awhile back, playing off some things in the newz at the time (posting it here on a quiet Saturday night, to minimize claims of self-promotion): http://kimgordonsrealage.tumblr.com/post/5810288062/bob-dylan-ive-battled-25-a-day-addictions-all

i’m still stanning (morrisp), Sunday, 13 May 2018 03:05 (five months ago) Permalink

haha those TTRH quotes are hilarious, wish I had the patience to listen through all those episodes

51. Some old David Letterman anniversary show from Radio City Music Hall, where they gave him a tremendous build up and recruited a huge all-star band, and he came out and sang the laziest, slurriest "Like a Rolling Stone" ever. I'm pretty sure he just sang the vowels.

I think it's more kind of lol but mostly sad territory...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YedNVVw8LD0

niels, Sunday, 13 May 2018 12:36 (five months ago) Permalink

^ Bob probably had some bad sushi before the show. (What a band, btw!)

i’m still stanning (morrisp), Sunday, 13 May 2018 16:57 (five months ago) Permalink

i saw bob dylan in the mid-2000s and that was pretty much how he sang all his songs

F# A# (∞), Sunday, 13 May 2018 17:37 (five months ago) Permalink


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