C/D Manowar

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The true kings of metal or as bad as the false ones they smite?

dog latin, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.manowarkingsofmetal.com/fans/fan7.jpg

Kris, Wednesday, 15 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

The ultimate proof that not all "true metal" is anywhere remotely good. I mean, even within metal circles, this band isn't taken seriously. But good fun to check out when they're in town, mind you...

Siegbran Hetteson, Thursday, 16 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I just read the one-sheet for their new album, and it was hilarious. Recorded on pro-tools in the drummer's garage, dubbed "Hell." There's a tribute to Elvis made up of Civil War battle anthems. I don't know, man, it sounds pretty dope to me.

Andy, Thursday, 16 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I adore MANOWAR. They are everything I want in a metal band, specifically being EPIC, and more importantly CHEESY. I also like their use of ALL CAPS. I also enjoy BLIND GUARDIAN for this kind of EPIC CHEESINESS.

Jeff, Thursday, 16 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

If you like those, check out Rhapsody - pure cheese on a stick - quite speedy drumming too. :-)

dog latin, Thursday, 16 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Also check out the Children of Bodom, they're something like the black metal version of Dokken, with the cheesiest keyboards ever. "Taste of My Scythe" is a great song by them.

Kris, Thursday, 16 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Also see this classic Dave Q. thread.

Kris, Thursday, 16 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Did Man-o-war sing "Play it loud, don't play it low, blow your speakers, it's r'n'r"

If it is then they are worth being arounf

Sonicred, Thursday, 16 May 2002 00:00 (nineteen years ago) link

seven months pass...
fuckin forgot i'd done this. doh!

dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 22 December 2002 05:21 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...
Free Manowar Chocolate Fudge available for fans today!
Wednesday - November 24, 2004

With any order over $150.00 from The Kingdom Of Steel you will receive a Free Exclusive MANOWAR Chocolate Ingot. This exclusive item is the size of a gold bar right out of Fort Knox comprised of pure custom made chocolate fudge with the MANOWAR logo branded across the bar. Additionally you will receive Free Domestic shipping with your order, our gift to you from The Kingdom Of Steel!

http://www.manowar.com/images/fudge.jpg

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 06:37 (sixteen years ago) link

UNBEATABLE.

Masked Gazza, Thursday, 2 December 2004 06:51 (sixteen years ago) link

My metal buddy Phil wrote a seemingly sincere appreciation of Manowar for my fanzine last year. Some choice moments...

'If you walk up to an average band member or Normal Joe on the street and shout “Hail And Kill” or “Lucifer Is King, Praise Satan”, they will most likely think you a crazy.
If your target is, however, a member of Manowar or a Manowar fan, then you are likely to have a friend for life. That is the power of Manowar, and they make no bones about it.
“We're out to kick ass, out there to turn our gear on and blast, we're out there to kill. That's what Metal is. Anybody who says otherwise is not playing Heavy Metal. We will melt your face”, says bassist and founding member Joey DeMaio.
...
All are masters of their instruments and not afraid to show it...
And if that's not enough to convince you, here is another Joey quote illustrating the humble attitude Manowar
take. They are, after all, just working for a higher power, the power that guides us all. "We just live the part of Metal, you know. We are here to rock, drink and fuck. And that's it. The power is in the music."'

stew, Thursday, 2 December 2004 10:11 (sixteen years ago) link

the last time they played SF, Joey declared that we (the audience) were worthy enough true-metal warriors that our city was no longer simply San Francisco, but MAN FRANCISCO.

Certifiably CLASSIC.

Avi (Avi), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:32 (sixteen years ago) link

> worthy enough true-metal warriors that
> our city was no longer simply San Francisco, but MAN FRANCISCO

Rob Halford will be delighted to hear, no doubt.

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Thursday, 2 December 2004 15:36 (sixteen years ago) link

So are these guys self-consciously ironic or not?

King Kobra (King Kobra), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:18 (sixteen years ago) link

I think they exploit the comedic potential of metal, but they are sincere in their love for the whole biker-barbarian aesthetic. They do it in a celebration of the awesomeness of over the top ridiculousness rather than making fun of metal cliches.
Their live show is introduced by a pre-taped announcement: "Ladies and Gentlemen, from the United States of America: Manowar." guess whose voice it is. That's right, ORSON WELLES.
Seriously, if you ever get the chance, see them live. They play stadiums in Europe and South America, but small clubs in the USA. And they're truly dedicated to their fans. When I saw them a couple of summers ago, they stayed in the parking lot of the club for hours afterward until every last autograph was signed.
Their DVDs are awesome, mostly for the interviews, backstage footage, and these incredible onstage rants against the enemies of metal.

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:35 (sixteen years ago) link

We are here to rock, drink and fuck.

Not so different than GG Allin.

So are these guys self-consciously ironic or not?

They weren't when newly minted on Liberty, going to the trouble of getting Orson Welles -- in between TV commercials for cheap wine -- onto their record. Invented the term "false metal," used to belittle bands much more commercially successful in the US, where Manowar couldn't get arrested. Get the anniversary reissue of "Battle Hymns."
The personal history in it is hysterical. Pictures of a pile of bomb casings used as a stage prop signifying might and manliness into the studio, the modern military hardware later abandoned for breechclothes and a less Vietnam, more Viking/Visigoth look.

I used to buy the albums for the unintentionally funny one-liners on the back cover in fine print about the fulsomeness and puissance of their gear. Some of the fans they picked up quickly appreciated the comic aspect of Manowar.

Spawned and influenced lots of bands. If you're in Europe, Japan or south American country it goes over better. In American, as "headliners," I never saw them in any places but dives.

Extra points accrue for generating Dream Evil's "(I Want to Be In) The Book of Heavy Metal" -- a fine song -- and an equally ecstatic number about dieing to be hit over the head with "The Sledge(hammer) of Rock."

George Smith, Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:37 (sixteen years ago) link

No, they're not. You should be laughing WITH them, not AT them.

dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link

It should be noted that Ross the Boss of the Dictators was one of the founders of Manowar. He and Joey DeMaio - the bass player who writes all the music and lyrics, but does not sing them (CLASSIC! a la Steve Harris) - met in Jersey in the early 80s and the two of them came up with the concept.

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Notable because the Dictators are a kind of template for 'funny rock' or something. (in case that wasn't obvious).

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:46 (sixteen years ago) link

With any order over $150.00 from The Kingdom Of Steel you will receive a Free Exclusive MANOWAR Chocolate Ingot.

See, now this has always been the fundamental problem with Manowar: Total lack of common sense, imagination and humor. Why not make it a real ingot of steel from the Kingdom of Steel? You'd have to add another fifty dollars to the price for shipping weight but stamped with a Kingdom of Steel bezel, anyone nuts enough to drop $150.00 on Manowar isn't going to gripe about the extra money.

Plus, fuckin' chocolate! Now you know that's not going to work in California, Iraq, the desert states and Florida during the summertime. Who's going to eat an ingot of chocolate with Manowar embossed on it. After sitting in your room for a few months it's going to covered in dust, bits of tissue paper stuck to it, cat hair and sprouting fur.

George Smith, Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:49 (sixteen years ago) link

it's going to covered in dust, bits of tissue paper stuck to it, cat hair and sprouting fur.

and what's more metal than that??

fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Excellent point. But Manowar aren't subtle and wily enough to get away with claiming their bonus prize is something super metal because it's perfectly designed to turn into a lump of filthy gronk.

George Smith, Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Can't you just put it in the fridge?

Check their merch page, $150.00 doesn't go as far in the Kingdom of Steel as you'd think. They DO accept Diner's Club, though.

XPOST.

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 17:59 (sixteen years ago) link

How big IS a gold bar from Fort Knox, by the way? Seems to me like that could be a pretty big piece of candy.

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:01 (sixteen years ago) link

Can't you just put it in the fridge?

What, you're going to store your ingot of Manowar chocolate in the fridge for the rest of your life? Your wife's not going to go for that. One day soon you'll come home and it'll be gone and you won't even know when she threw it out. "Oh that hideous thing, it was all covered in fur and was contributing to the spoil of the bread."

Besides, Manowar want you to admire the chocolate, like a bayonet or some other weapon they might use. That means the refrigerator has to have a glass door to look through which makes it not a refrigerator.

George Smith, Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:04 (sixteen years ago) link

"wife"

- wives.

dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:07 (sixteen years ago) link

"Losers Try To Put Us Down It's Just Another Day
I Got No Money Or Big House Just Got Life
I Don't Like To Save It's More Fun To Spend
If You Like Metal You're My Friend
And That Bike Out In The Yard Well That's My Wife"
- Return of the Warlord

or, if you like, "Pleasure Slave":
She is waiting to kiss my hand
But she will wait for my command
My chains and collar brought her to her knees
She now is free to please

Woman, be my slave
That's your reason to live
Woman, be my slave
The greatest gift I can give
Woman, be my slave

Before her surrender she had no life
Now she's a slave, not a wife
Her only sorrow is for women who live with lies
She's taken off her disguise

Woman, be my slave
That's your reason to live
Woman, be my slave
The greatest gift I can give
Woman, be my slave

Your body belongs to me

Woman, come here
Remove your garments
Kneel before me
Please me

Woman, be my slave
That's your reason to live
Woman, be my slave
The greatest gift I can give
Woman, be my slave

Avi (Avi), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Woman, be my slave
And woman, do not even think about
Removing that chocolate ingot from the fridge.

fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 2 December 2004 18:42 (sixteen years ago) link

She is waiting to kiss my hand
And she will wait for my command
She will be free to get right on top of it
And polish forever my ingot of chocolate

George Smith, Thursday, 2 December 2004 22:33 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.manowar.com/images/fudge.jpg

Has anyone made the obligatory "fudge-packer" joke yet?

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 3 December 2004 03:29 (sixteen years ago) link

three months pass...
MANOWAR and RHAPSODY To Be Joined By CHRISTOPHER LEE On Stage at the German EARTHSHAKER Fest -
Christopher Lee will be joining MANOWAR on stage at the Earthshaker Fest performing the narration parts originally done by Orson Welles in the MANOWAR songs "Defender" and "Dark Avenger". Christopher Lee will also join RHAPSODY on stage to perform their song "Unholy Warcry" in the same festival. MANOWAR will perform live at the Earthshaker with past members and each an every line up they had so far. This means that Donnie Hamzik, Ross the Boss, David Schankle, and Rhino will be there, so each song of the set list will be performed by the line up that originally recorded it. Also there will be a 100-piece choir and a 100-piece orchestra. Guest appearances will include long time Manowar album covers artist Ken Kelly and others, while a chopper will be raffled during the festival. The Earthshaker Fest 2005 will take place July 22-23 in Geiselwind, Germany, and a further third concert day has been added for July 21nd, free for those that have purchased tickets for both the next two days. More info here http://www.earthshaker-fest.com/

Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Monday, 14 March 2005 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Christ, I'd FORGOTTEN that they got Orson Welles 'way back then! I still wanna know if DiMaio REALLY played the "William Tell Overture" at that speed, or if it was tape-adjusted in the studio? That's as big a mystery as whether or not these guys were serious, or a big elaborate joke. Give 'em credit for chutzpah either way!

Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Monday, 14 March 2005 21:53 (sixteen years ago) link

one year passes...
OK, "Into Glory Ride" and "Hail To England" are awesome.

How are the 'sell out' albums?

aDOring NUTbians (donut), Sunday, 18 June 2006 20:44 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

kings of metal is the only one i own. it doesn't seem like they're taking the piss either. that 'pleasure slave' track is delivered with the utmost sincerity. a pretty entertaining listen from time to time. 'stand and fight' is actually pretty cool.

Charlie Howard, Friday, 13 July 2007 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

two years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiESgYr35gA

so there's that

Frank Viola (╓abies), Wednesday, 26 May 2010 21:50 (eleven years ago) link

They're so metal they refuse to acknowledge the existence of the beatboxers that could make them pure acapella

Jamie_ATP, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 21:59 (eleven years ago) link

I'm surprised nobody mentioned this insane (but believable) story that came out a couple weeks ago:

http://thresq.hollywoodreporter.com/2010/05/funniest-lawsuit-of-the-year-how-heavy-metal-musicians-deal-with-defamation.html

A. Begrand, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 22:52 (eleven years ago) link

I'm not really a metal fan, but I always thought their song "Brothers Of Metal" was one of the funniest songs I have ever heard. (And being one of the stupidest songs) The lyrics are so fucking awful. I pretty much steered clear from this genre partly because of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns6MBQXtyMk

van smack, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 23:20 (eleven years ago) link

whats funny?

kumar the bavarian, Thursday, 27 May 2010 01:33 (eleven years ago) link

the lyrics

van smack, Thursday, 27 May 2010 01:41 (eleven years ago) link

dont you get it? stripes on a tiger don't wash away, manowar is made of steel not clay

kumar the bavarian, Thursday, 27 May 2010 01:50 (eleven years ago) link

ten months pass...

RIP Scott Columbus. Really good drummer, that dude.

http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=156340

A. Begrand, Tuesday, 5 April 2011 05:02 (ten years ago) link

aw shit! RIP

Evil Eau (dog latin), Tuesday, 5 April 2011 11:57 (ten years ago) link

Yep, a major loss.

that's not funny. (unperson), Tuesday, 5 April 2011 12:52 (ten years ago) link

RIP

Algerian Goalkeeper, Tuesday, 5 April 2011 15:50 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

Into Glory Ride is classic.

carlton lutefisk (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 22:31 (ten years ago) link

Re-reading this made my side hurt a little from suppressing laughs at the old 150 buck ingot of chocolate promotion. Went out to the Manowar site, wow, almost persuaded to get the anniversary remake of the Battle Hymns. Only almost.

Gorge, Thursday, 30 June 2011 00:05 (ten years ago) link

I downloaded it a while ago. It's pretty good. I used to laugh at these guys a lot, but once I heard their most recent live album, Gods of War Live, I was converted and now I have all their stuff.

that's not funny. (unperson), Thursday, 30 June 2011 00:36 (ten years ago) link

I d'ld it today. I agree, it is good. I immediately A/B'd it with the original. The original has a much more open sound, the vocals sound a lot younger, the rhythm section is not recorded as crushing. The original Battle Hymns was a good to great hard rock/metal record with a lot of melodic rock 'n' roll in it. It was not as groundbreaking or as unique as the originals billed it. But it also hit an old audience -- the aggrieved biker, MIA flag, Vietnam thing, which none of the band members had anything to do with first hand. C'mon, Ross was always a great guitar player who was an upper middle class dude faking the lower class stuff. Nothing wrong with that.

I still think it's the best album they did. More attached to reality than the big dive into Teutonic/Visigoth/Iron Age hokum they're mostly known for. They were all the right age for the Vietnam vet thing, much like Sylvester Stallone, who worked out his guilt trip through the First Blood movies and Rambo character. The second edition to Battle Hymns could have easily included a
"soliloquy" from First Blood. No one believes in that shit now but it's embedded in the American consciousness forever. Sarah Palin's constituency over Memorial Day, when she did the old biker rally thing, was totally in line with it. So big props for Manowar doing it, a subtraction for abandoning it. You could easily play Battle Hymn or Manowar over the campaign of the Michele Bachmann or any of so many GOP extremist candidates now, no matter how square they look.

Gorge, Thursday, 30 June 2011 09:11 (ten years ago) link

I love Battle Hymns, the title track used to be in my "all time top 10 metal songs" list I made in high school. The viking nonsense records made me disown them completely (Metallica-style) for years (see comment above) but over the last ten years I've mellowed quite a bit.

Siegbran, Thursday, 30 June 2011 18:14 (ten years ago) link

two years pass...

"Re-reading this made my side hurt a little from suppressing laughs at the old 150 buck ingot of chocolate promotion."

I'm not so sure the chocolate should just be kept as an artifact, but be eaten by the fans as sacrament to the power of Manowar Metal.

earlnash, Thursday, 14 November 2013 23:00 (seven years ago) link

re-reading this makes me miss george smith

CANONICAL artists, etc., etc. (contenderizer), Friday, 15 November 2013 14:30 (seven years ago) link

The first record is SO goddamn good. I get "Fast Taker" and "Shell Shock" in my head all the time. Undeniable.

Clarke B., Friday, 15 November 2013 15:34 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

http://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/q77/s720x720/1779852_10152158329413818_667361520_n.jpg

Manowar in Atlanta. Only $75. For advance tickets. $82.80 with Ticketmaster fees.

Zoinks.

Loud guitars shit all over "Bette Davis Eyes" (NYCNative), Tuesday, 28 January 2014 13:29 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

$100 on day of show

brimstead, Friday, 21 February 2014 02:01 (seven years ago) link

Worth it IMHO.

Jeff, Friday, 21 February 2014 02:14 (seven years ago) link

eleven months pass...

WIMPS AND POSERS

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Thursday, 12 February 2015 00:11 (six years ago) link

six years pass...

first time hearing "Achilles, the Agony and the Ecstacy". normally this is the type of shit I'd balk at (26 fuckin' minutes....if you ain't a Canadian prog trio, gtfo), but....I really like this in its sheer ridiculous pretentiousness. not as much suites as ideas that kinda just give way to other ideas. sloppily stitched together but well-played and fun. we've already hit a drum solo ten minutes in.

it honestly feels like five imaginary countries' national anthems with instrumental solos thrown in. I feel like Luca Turilli probably formed Rhapsody the moment he heard this.

that either sounds awesome to you or the worst shit imaginable. but I like my metal ridiculous.

also no Ross the Boss, which is good cos he was a toolbag (still is actually - MAGA fuck).

if you meh them, shut up (Neanderthal), Saturday, 20 February 2021 02:06 (five months ago) link

four months pass...

some bands PLAY...

not up to Aerosmith standards (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 July 2021 16:58 (two weeks ago) link

if you shop in their US store they have like 3 shitty t-shirts, but the European store has like amazing ones.

making splashes at Dan Flashes (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 July 2021 21:52 (two weeks ago) link

...for 40 Euros each plus shipping.

but also fuck you (unperson), Thursday, 15 July 2021 22:26 (two weeks ago) link

yeah which....nope.

making splashes at Dan Flashes (Neanderthal), Thursday, 15 July 2021 22:29 (two weeks ago) link

I knew that Neanderthal bumped this thread, haha!

Loud guitars shit all over "Bette Davis Eyes" (NYCNative), Thursday, 15 July 2021 23:08 (two weeks ago) link


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